How tired are you of mean girl culture of moms at your private?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The basketball team thing happened to us (sleepover). The explanation given was that kid#1 has terrible BO so the mom didn't want him in their house, and kid#2 (mine) was kid#1's best friend so he'd be sure to spill the beans. Of course all the kids were talking and they heard about it immediately.

No way. There’s no way this is real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s another thread right now where a private school parent is asking how much money posters think she needs to be giving to make sure a sibling gets admitted to the school. Now we have this thread asking about mean mom culture at private schools.

Why are people subjecting themselves to all of this? Why not just go to public school?

So many reasons - don’t co-opt the thread!

And don’t tell me what I can and cannot post. Or are you one of those mean private school moms yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older DC is a senior and it’s been a long drama-filled journey. Second DC still has several years to graduation and I’m just so tired of all the mean girl behavior.

Honestly I’m getting more tired of the cyclical mean girl/mean mom threads on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of mean girl culture of moms? There are moms who I avoid but if I’m being honest it’s more based on how they are dressed(eg dripping with expensive bags, jewelry etc), but otherwise we haven’t experienced any behaviors that directly impact DD so I’m genuinely curious.

Expensive bag and a van cleef necklace? So mean!

Exactly! I snap that thing on and immediately turn into a Disney supervillain. I take it off and turn into a combo of Mary Poppins and Lisa Simpson - caring and nice.

Yeah, try to gaslight people into thinking it’s about wealth envy.

Some mean girl behavior I’ve personality witnessed or heard about.

One mom asks the other what her husband and she do for a living. Hears the response. Says, “Oh,” with slightly disgusted look and walks away abruptly from the conversation.

Mom invites all but two kids on a basketball team over for postgame pizza party.

A mom is having coffee with someone who suddenly has to go when another mom with more social cache walks by. Gets up, walks off other mom. Mom left behind walks to her car and sees the two of them drinking coffee and hanging out nearby.

A mom refers to another family in a derisive tone as “small donors.”

Just a little sampling.

The job thing sounds like it could have been misinterpreted or it’s political or something.

The basketball team is unacceptable. But it’s so clearly unacceptable that no one would disagree. A mean mom doing this would never last, because everyone when they realize it happened will agree that it shouldn’t have.

The coffee is nothing!! So what, they’re at a Starbucks? Maybe the other two had something to talk about! Maybe they had planned to meet there! When you run into someone at Starbucks you say hi and chat a little but it’s not like you’re on a date.

I don’t think the last one happened. No one would say “small donors,” I don’t think you can reverse “big donors” that way.

Wonder why people like PP are so invested in believing that mean moms don’t exist? It’s like they want to keep on believing in the tooth fairy.

The job things wasn’t political or a misunderstanding. That mean mom only talks to rich people.

Re basketball team, no one said anything because no one wanted to make waves.

The coffee date was between the first two mom so yes it was rude of mean mom to walk out.

Small donor comment was quite real and made by one of the moms on a fundraising committee in my presence.

So arrogant of you to assume none of this could be true. If you’ve never encountered any of this crap you’re either at a school where the culture is exceptionally nice or you’re just exceptionally clueless.

DP

Don’t be daft. Everyone know some women are immature for life. I think the argument was that you cannot determine who these people are based on how they look for how much they donate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The basketball team thing happened to us (sleepover). The explanation given was that kid#1 has terrible BO so the mom didn't want him in their house, and kid#2 (mine) was kid#1's best friend so he'd be sure to spill the beans. Of course all the kids were talking and they heard about it immediately.

Since you know kid 1 is the BO thing true or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hated it and we left it. Kids were also nasty.

which school - Stone Ridge or NCS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The basketball team thing happened to us (sleepover). The explanation given was that kid#1 has terrible BO so the mom didn't want him in their house, and kid#2 (mine) was kid#1's best friend so he'd be sure to spill the beans. Of course all the kids were talking and they heard about it immediately.

Omg what school? I know families on the governing board that did this so I am wondering if things like this still happening?!

[Anonymous]

At an all girl private that is secular. Haven’t met a mean mom yet. Mother of a junior.

[Anonymous]

We had that at a K-8.

The moms were really cliquey in one grade (not mine) and started to run most events and use teen slang a lot. Volunteered for everything but gave the less popular parents crappy tasks.

They eventually ate each other.

A few moved on to more snobby schools. The kids got tired of only being friends with one another. The tiered friendships (my 1st best friend, my other best friend) got boring. They took lots of trips together and their kids missed things like auditions and try outs...Or kids that were operating at a high level for sports and activities made new friends, so the mean parents missed out on things...

It imploded.

Be friends with people who make you happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of mean girl culture of moms? There are moms who I avoid but if I’m being honest it’s more based on how they are dressed(eg dripping with expensive bags, jewelry etc), but otherwise we haven’t experienced any behaviors that directly impact DD so I’m genuinely curious.

Lol you do realize you're probably the "mean mom" since you're judging others by what they are wearing. Some of the nicest moms I know are basically walking brand ads.

I'm the PP you are responding to. I'm the mom who is rushing to make it to whatever evening event is being held at the school from my crappy office job in whatever I've been wearing since I left the house at 7am. I fully admit to having been surprised at how nice some of the outwardly intimidating women are and that's why I was asking about actual examples of "mean moms."

Some of the meanest moms lean into looking sloppy as evidence that they are not mean. Sometimes putting a little more effort into your appearance to look a little intimidating is like armoring yourself a little bit, because you’re softer, and not one of the mean moms.

[Anonymous]

Most of these posts basically tell the same story: many moms are insecure.

Not all. But many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of these posts basically tell the same story: many moms are insecure.

Not all. But many.

+1. Insecure and unwilling to accept that their personality is off putting.

[Anonymous]

Luckily my wife and I have a life besides school and really don’t care about any deviant behavior by crazy moms. Live and let live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Luckily my wife and I have a life besides school and really don’t care about any deviant behavior by crazy moms. Live and let live.

+1
speaking as a Dad, most of the meanest and craziest Moms are also the hottest - love watching them in action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Luckily my wife and I have a life besides school and really don’t care about any deviant behavior by crazy moms. Live and let live.

+1
speaking as a Dad, most of the meanest and craziest Moms are also the hottest - love watching them in action.

Love it. Totally agree.