How tired are you of mean girl culture of moms at your private?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of mean girl culture of moms? There are moms who I avoid but if I’m being honest it’s more based on how they are dressed(eg dripping with expensive bags, jewelry etc), but otherwise we haven’t experienced any behaviors that directly impact DD so I’m genuinely curious.

Expensive bag and a van cleef necklace? So mean!

Yeah. I would not assume someone in an Alhambra necklace is mean. Basic? Yes. Totally lacking in style? Yes. Mean? No.

I wouldn’t recognize these things anyway, but our private school moms are really nice and do try to be inclusive. I’m not very active but am grateful for the moms who are. I run one big thing a year and they are more the day to day participants in school stuff. It can’t be fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of mean girl culture of moms? There are moms who I avoid but if I’m being honest it’s more based on how they are dressed(eg dripping with expensive bags, jewelry etc), but otherwise we haven’t experienced any behaviors that directly impact DD so I’m genuinely curious.

Judging people based on how they dress/look - sounds like you are the mean girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of mean girl culture of moms? There are moms who I avoid but if I’m being honest it’s more based on how they are dressed(eg dripping with expensive bags, jewelry etc), but otherwise we haven’t experienced any behaviors that directly impact DD so I’m genuinely curious.

Expensive bag and a van cleef necklace? So mean!

Exactly! I snap that thing on and immediately turn into a Disney supervillain. I take it off and turn into a combo of Mary Poppins and Lisa Simpson - caring and nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s another thread right now where a private school parent is asking how much money posters think she needs to be giving to make sure a sibling gets admitted to the school. Now we have this thread asking about mean mom culture at private schools.

Why are people subjecting themselves to all of this? Why not just go to public school?

So many reasons - don’t co-opt the thread!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of mean girl culture of moms? There are moms who I avoid but if I’m being honest it’s more based on how they are dressed(eg dripping with expensive bags, jewelry etc), but otherwise we haven’t experienced any behaviors that directly impact DD so I’m genuinely curious.

Expensive bag and a van cleef necklace? So mean!

Exactly! I snap that thing on and immediately turn into a Disney supervillain. I take it off and turn into a combo of Mary Poppins and Lisa Simpson - caring and nice.

Yeah, try to gaslight people into thinking it’s about wealth envy.

Some mean girl behavior I’ve personality witnessed or heard about.

One mom asks the other what her husband and she do for a living. Hears the response. Says, “Oh,” with slightly disgusted look and walks away abruptly from the conversation.

Mom invites all but two kids on a basketball team over for postgame pizza party.

A mom is having coffee with someone who suddenly has to go when another mom with more social cache walks by. Gets up, walks off other mom. Mom left behind walks to her car and sees the two of them drinking coffee and hanging out nearby.

A mom refers to another family in a derisive tone as “small donors.”

Just a little sampling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of mean girl culture of moms? There are moms who I avoid but if I’m being honest it’s more based on how they are dressed(eg dripping with expensive bags, jewelry etc), but otherwise we haven’t experienced any behaviors that directly impact DD so I’m genuinely curious.

Expensive bag and a van cleef necklace? So mean!

Exactly! I snap that thing on and immediately turn into a Disney supervillain. I take it off and turn into a combo of Mary Poppins and Lisa Simpson - caring and nice.

Yeah, try to gaslight people into thinking it’s about wealth envy.

Some mean girl behavior I’ve personality witnessed or heard about.

One mom asks the other what her husband and she do for a living. Hears the response. Says, “Oh,” with slightly disgusted look and walks away abruptly from the conversation.

Mom invites all but two kids on a basketball team over for postgame pizza party.

A mom is having coffee with someone who suddenly has to go when another mom with more social cache walks by. Gets up, walks off other mom. Mom left behind walks to her car and sees the two of them drinking coffee and hanging out nearby.

A mom refers to another family in a derisive tone as “small donors.”

Just a little sampling.

Lemme guess - diagusted mom's resume is a blank page, qualified for McD or realtor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of mean girl culture of moms? There are moms who I avoid but if I’m being honest it’s more based on how they are dressed(eg dripping with expensive bags, jewelry etc), but otherwise we haven’t experienced any behaviors that directly impact DD so I’m genuinely curious.

Expensive bag and a van cleef necklace? So mean!

Exactly! I snap that thing on and immediately turn into a Disney supervillain. I take it off and turn into a combo of Mary Poppins and Lisa Simpson - caring and nice.

Yeah, try to gaslight people into thinking it’s about wealth envy.

Some mean girl behavior I’ve personality witnessed or heard about.

One mom asks the other what her husband and she do for a living. Hears the response. Says, “Oh,” with slightly disgusted look and walks away abruptly from the conversation.

Mom invites all but two kids on a basketball team over for postgame pizza party.

A mom is having coffee with someone who suddenly has to go when another mom with more social cache walks by. Gets up, walks off other mom. Mom left behind walks to her car and sees the two of them drinking coffee and hanging out nearby.

A mom refers to another family in a derisive tone as “small donors.”

Just a little sampling.

The job thing sounds like it could have been misinterpreted or it’s political or something.

The basketball team is unacceptable. But it’s so clearly unacceptable that no one would disagree. A mean mom doing this would never last, because everyone when they realize it happened will agree that it shouldn’t have.

The coffee is nothing!! So what, they’re at a Starbucks? Maybe the other two had something to talk about! Maybe they had planned to meet there! When you run into someone at Starbucks you say hi and chat a little but it’s not like you’re on a date.

I don’t think the last one happened. No one would say “small donors,” I don’t think you can reverse “big donors” that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of mean girl culture of moms? There are moms who I avoid but if I’m being honest it’s more based on how they are dressed(eg dripping with expensive bags, jewelry etc), but otherwise we haven’t experienced any behaviors that directly impact DD so I’m genuinely curious.

Expensive bag and a van cleef necklace? So mean!

Exactly! I snap that thing on and immediately turn into a Disney supervillain. I take it off and turn into a combo of Mary Poppins and Lisa Simpson - caring and nice.

Yeah, try to gaslight people into thinking it’s about wealth envy.

Some mean girl behavior I’ve personality witnessed or heard about.

One mom asks the other what her husband and she do for a living. Hears the response. Says, “Oh,” with slightly disgusted look and walks away abruptly from the conversation.

Mom invites all but two kids on a basketball team over for postgame pizza party.

A mom is having coffee with someone who suddenly has to go when another mom with more social cache walks by. Gets up, walks off other mom. Mom left behind walks to her car and sees the two of them drinking coffee and hanging out nearby.

A mom refers to another family in a derisive tone as “small donors.”

Just a little sampling.

The job thing sounds like it could have been misinterpreted or it’s political or something.

The basketball team is unacceptable. But it’s so clearly unacceptable that no one would disagree. A mean mom doing this would never last, because everyone when they realize it happened will agree that it shouldn’t have.

The coffee is nothing!! So what, they’re at a Starbucks? Maybe the other two had something to talk about! Maybe they had planned to meet there! When you run into someone at Starbucks you say hi and chat a little but it’s not like you’re on a date.

I don’t think the last one happened. No one would say “small donors,” I don’t think you can reverse “big donors” that way.

Wonder why people like PP are so invested in believing that mean moms don’t exist? It’s like they want to keep on believing in the tooth fairy.

The job things wasn’t political or a misunderstanding. That mean mom only talks to rich people.

Re basketball team, no one said anything because no one wanted to make waves.

The coffee date was between the first two mom so yes it was rude of mean mom to walk out.

Small donor comment was quite real and made by one of the moms on a fundraising committee in my presence.

So arrogant of you to assume none of this could be true. If you’ve never encountered any of this crap you’re either at a school where the culture is exceptionally nice or you’re just exceptionally clueless.

[Anonymous]

The basketball team thing happened to us (sleepover). The explanation given was that kid#1 has terrible BO so the mom didn't want him in their house, and kid#2 (mine) was kid#1's best friend so he'd be sure to spill the beans. Of course all the kids were talking and they heard about it immediately.

[Anonymous]

If you go around looking for a reason to be offended, you will find it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of mean girl culture of moms? There are moms who I avoid but if I’m being honest it’s more based on how they are dressed(eg dripping with expensive bags, jewelry etc), but otherwise we haven’t experienced any behaviors that directly impact DD so I’m genuinely curious.

Expensive bag and a van cleef necklace? So mean!

Exactly! I snap that thing on and immediately turn into a Disney supervillain. I take it off and turn into a combo of Mary Poppins and Lisa Simpson - caring and nice.

Yeah, try to gaslight people into thinking it’s about wealth envy.

Some mean girl behavior I’ve personality witnessed or heard about.

One mom asks the other what her husband and she do for a living. Hears the response. Says, “Oh,” with slightly disgusted look and walks away abruptly from the conversation.

Mom invites all but two kids on a basketball team over for postgame pizza party.

A mom is having coffee with someone who suddenly has to go when another mom with more social cache walks by. Gets up, walks off other mom. Mom left behind walks to her car and sees the two of them drinking coffee and hanging out nearby.

A mom refers to another family in a derisive tone as “small donors.”

Just a little sampling.

The job thing sounds like it could have been misinterpreted or it’s political or something.

The basketball team is unacceptable. But it’s so clearly unacceptable that no one would disagree. A mean mom doing this would never last, because everyone when they realize it happened will agree that it shouldn’t have.

The coffee is nothing!! So what, they’re at a Starbucks? Maybe the other two had something to talk about! Maybe they had planned to meet there! When you run into someone at Starbucks you say hi and chat a little but it’s not like you’re on a date.

I don’t think the last one happened. No one would say “small donors,” I don’t think you can reverse “big donors” that way.

Wonder why people like PP are so invested in believing that mean moms don’t exist? It’s like they want to keep on believing in the tooth fairy.

The job things wasn’t political or a misunderstanding. That mean mom only talks to rich people.

Re basketball team, no one said anything because no one wanted to make waves.

The coffee date was between the first two mom so yes it was rude of mean mom to walk out.

Small donor comment was quite real and made by one of the moms on a fundraising committee in my presence.

So arrogant of you to assume none of this could be true. If you’ve never encountered any of this crap you’re either at a school where the culture is exceptionally nice or you’re just exceptionally clueless.

You sound pretty mean yourself.
NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you go around looking for a reason to be offended, you will find it.

Absolutely this. I’m the mom of 3 girls here who go to a school that is noted as full of mean girls and moms. I’ve never noticed any of this behavior because I don’t really care what other people think of my appearance or who invites me out for coffee. I’m a PhD scientist, I wear no makeup or jewelry and very plain cheap clothes. The moms I connect with tend to be highly educated professionals who are too busy for nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Not as tired as I am of the moms going around looking for reasons to be offended. It's 2025. Plenty of stuff to worry about other than your misplaced middle school projections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of mean girl culture of moms? There are moms who I avoid but if I’m being honest it’s more based on how they are dressed(eg dripping with expensive bags, jewelry etc), but otherwise we haven’t experienced any behaviors that directly impact DD so I’m genuinely curious.

Expensive bag and a van cleef necklace? So mean!

Exactly! I snap that thing on and immediately turn into a Disney supervillain. I take it off and turn into a combo of Mary Poppins and Lisa Simpson - caring and nice.

Yeah, try to gaslight people into thinking it’s about wealth envy.

Some mean girl behavior I’ve personality witnessed or heard about.

One mom asks the other what her husband and she do for a living. Hears the response. Says, “Oh,” with slightly disgusted look and walks away abruptly from the conversation.

Mom invites all but two kids on a basketball team over for postgame pizza party.

A mom is having coffee with someone who suddenly has to go when another mom with more social cache walks by. Gets up, walks off other mom. Mom left behind walks to her car and sees the two of them drinking coffee and hanging out nearby.

A mom refers to another family in a derisive tone as “small donors.”

Just a little sampling.

The job thing sounds like it could have been misinterpreted or it’s political or something.

The basketball team is unacceptable. But it’s so clearly unacceptable that no one would disagree. A mean mom doing this would never last, because everyone when they realize it happened will agree that it shouldn’t have.

The coffee is nothing!! So what, they’re at a Starbucks? Maybe the other two had something to talk about! Maybe they had planned to meet there! When you run into someone at Starbucks you say hi and chat a little but it’s not like you’re on a date.

I don’t think the last one happened. No one would say “small donors,” I don’t think you can reverse “big donors” that way.

Wonder why people like PP are so invested in believing that mean moms don’t exist? It’s like they want to keep on believing in the tooth fairy.

The job things wasn’t political or a misunderstanding. That mean mom only talks to rich people.

Re basketball team, no one said anything because no one wanted to make waves.

The coffee date was between the first two mom so yes it was rude of mean mom to walk out.

Small donor comment was quite real and made by one of the moms on a fundraising committee in my presence.

So arrogant of you to assume none of this could be true. If you’ve never encountered any of this crap you’re either at a school where the culture is exceptionally nice or you’re just exceptionally clueless.

maybe this stuff is true, maybe it's not. I am sure that for each instance there is context that you do not know or are not sharing.
news flash, women and girls can be mean and petty. so what? it happens at all schools, public, private or Catholic, and it even happens (gasp) in the workplace. have you ever done or said something that somebody could portray or construe as mean? I bet you have, intentionally or otherwise. for starters, writing out this list of supposed slights is not a great look for you, especially if you are exaggerating or taking stuff out of context to put others in their worst possible light.
happy people shrug this stuff off and carry on with their life, or ignore it (which in your book makes them "clueless"). Miserable people dwell on it and talk about it and dissect it, like you do.
let me ask a kind of random question - are you pretty? my guess is that you are not, and that a lot of these supposedly "mean" Moms are, which would explain why they get under your skin so much.
please try not to let this stuff bother you and just be a nice and happy person yourself!

[Anonymous]

I hated it and we left it. Kids were also nasty.