What are people in DC’s honest views of southern women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've met some southern women who can be pretty haughty, arrogant and condescending. I was recently at a conference where they just had big round tables that seat 10 at each table, and servers were bringing food out as people were seated, with people filtering in and filtering out throughout, and no program during the meal. So, I arrived at a table, asked if anyone was sitting at one of the empty seats, and took the seat when they said nobody was sitting there. The meal was brought out, and there was some general small talk but everyone was just sitting there, nobody eating. Things like the bread basket and butter dish and salad dressing were in the middle of the table, and given it was a big table, one had to reach to get it. So, I did. I'm tall and have long arms - so I reached out and picked up the bread basket, took a piece and passed it on, followed by the butter, the salad dressing and so on. Somewhere along the way I noticed that the southern woman sitting across from me was looking at me in shock, mouth agape, so I paused and looked at her. She muttered "oh, I see some of us have clearly never done cotillion" as if there were something horrifically wrong with what I was doing.

Uh, no. I've never done cotillion. In fact probably close to 99% of Americans don't have cotillions, it's actually pretty niche and regional in American society. So don't go around judging those of us who don't. And staring at someone in shock, mouth agape, just because they don't know your niche set of etiquette rules is in itself not good etiquette.

New England still has the cotillion types. https://www.wellesleycotillion.org/

[Anonymous]

Spare me, OP. Just spare me.

I’ll tell you why people feel that way about you, because I was you at one point, in reverse. I grew up in Colorado and went to college in the Deep South. There were a lot of people who were just blatantly cruel to me about where I was from. Cruel. I could write a book on the things these southern belles and gentlemen said about me. And I looked like one of them, too. Hair, makeup, etc. My only offense was being from west of the Mississippi.

And it goes without saying that whatever these kids were saying about me was mild in comparison to what they were saying about non-whites.

So in conclusion, you know, and I know that you know, why people in DC judge you. It’s an uncomfortable truth that you’re going to have to reckon with if you want to live here. I’m not saying that you’re one of those people that I described above, but there are too many of that kind from where you’re from to not cause some side eye around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I moved here about 5 years ago and low key feel like my coworkers tolerate me but judge the fact that I’m from the south. I’ve only worked in corporate jobs, and never talk about politics, but identify as right of center but I don’t really like Trump and don’t feel comfortable talking about politics. I feel like I have to hide the fact that I’m a southern sorority girl that did a debutante ball, goes to church and country clubs ect even though they people I work with grew up upper middle class too. I’ve also scrubbed my social media of all the fraternity formal date pics and things like that after some snarky comments.

I’d just love to understand why people are so judgemental. My experience has always been that people in my life and hometown are kind and polite, so would love some honest feedback about what people think here about southern women and how I can appear more approachable while staying true to myself.

I am not DC native, transplant from Europe. I LOVE people from south. They, primarily, are very well educated, well read, kind, less mental issues compared to people from North East, less arrogant. Please, stay true to who you are. It is such a pleasant contrast to meet people like you.

Also a European transplant. And I agree 100 percent. Southern people tend to be kinder, more humane, more interesting, more down to Earth. Also more curious and straightforward. I always like people who are really southern.

Please don't change a thing to "adapt."

As a New Englander with a mother from Texas (deep Texas roots - not the superficial Bush family carpetbaggers - my great grandparents built Texas highways and we still have oil/gas fields) AND who married to a brown person. All southerns are wonderful if you are white. Many are okay as long as you are brown and not black. Some are okay if you are Black. Non are okay if you want to take away their guns and cannot understand the role that free access to guns played in Charlie Kirk’s death. And if you are a socialist you are terrible (but they don’t understand that social security is a socialist program). Basically, many southerns are lovely people if the proper conditions are met and you don’t ask hard questions.

[Anonymous]

I’m from northern New England & lived in DC for 15 years. Loved it!! Definitely have a negative view of most southern women (since you asked).

[Anonymous]

I lived in the south for a while and I was judged for wearing blue jeans, for not being girly enough, not being “sweet” enough, not wearing the same clothes as everyone else, not having been in a sorority, for eating normal portions of flavorful food, for not being related to anyone they deemed valuable to their social circles, not being “from there”, not being WASPy enough, for being “too” independent and for not not going to church.

I guess that’s just the way people are, OP. But we do have country clubs here. Good luck getting off the waitlist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I moved here about 5 years ago and low key feel like my coworkers tolerate me but judge the fact that I’m from the south. I’ve only worked in corporate jobs, and never talk about politics, but identify as right of center but I don’t really like Trump and don’t feel comfortable talking about politics. I feel like I have to hide the fact that I’m a southern sorority girl that did a debutante ball, goes to church and country clubs ect even though they people I work with grew up upper middle class too. I’ve also scrubbed my social media of all the fraternity formal date pics and things like that after some snarky comments.

I’d just love to understand why people are so judgemental. My experience has always been that people in my life and hometown are kind and polite, so would love some honest feedback about what people think here about southern women and how I can appear more approachable while staying true to myself.

Uptown.

If you're pretty, you'll be alright.

Beauty has no region or geography.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I moved here about 5 years ago and low key feel like my coworkers tolerate me but judge the fact that I’m from the south. I’ve only worked in corporate jobs, and never talk about politics, but identify as right of center but I don’t really like Trump and don’t feel comfortable talking about politics. I feel like I have to hide the fact that I’m a southern sorority girl that did a debutante ball, goes to church and country clubs ect even though they people I work with grew up upper middle class too. I’ve also scrubbed my social media of all the fraternity formal date pics and things like that after some snarky comments.

I’d just love to understand why people are so judgemental. My experience has always been that people in my life and hometown are kind and polite, so would love some honest feedback about what people think here about southern women and how I can appear more approachable while staying true to myself.

I am not DC native, transplant from Europe. I LOVE people from south. They, primarily, are very well educated, well read, kind, less mental issues compared to people from North East, less arrogant. Please, stay true to who you are. It is such a pleasant contrast to meet people like you.

Also a European transplant. And I agree 100 percent. Southern people tend to be kinder, more humane, more interesting, more down to Earth. Also more curious and straightforward. I always like people who are really southern.

Please don't change a thing to "adapt."

The stereotypes are insane in this thread. Some people are good, and some people suck in every state and DC, from every income level, from every background.

Stop with this nonsense.

The Europeans can't see through the phony southern charm. They think "Bless your heart" means bless your heart. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I moved here about 5 years ago and low key feel like my coworkers tolerate me but judge the fact that I’m from the south. I’ve only worked in corporate jobs, and never talk about politics, but identify as right of center but I don’t really like Trump and don’t feel comfortable talking about politics. I feel like I have to hide the fact that I’m a southern sorority girl that did a debutante ball, goes to church and country clubs ect even though they people I work with grew up upper middle class too. I’ve also scrubbed my social media of all the fraternity formal date pics and things like that after some snarky comments.

I’d just love to understand why people are so judgemental. My experience has always been that people in my life and hometown are kind and polite, so would love some honest feedback about what people think here about southern women and how I can appear more approachable while staying true to myself.

I am not DC native, transplant from Europe. I LOVE people from south. They, primarily, are very well educated, well read, kind, less mental issues compared to people from North East, less arrogant. Please, stay true to who you are. It is such a pleasant contrast to meet people like you.

Thank you!

OMG and you wonder why people don't like you when you all generalize about people from other regions in this way. FFS. So oblivious to your own hypocrisy.

What's wrong with YOU? As if DCUM posters don't generalize about southerners and the south all the time!

Oh well that makes you doing it about northerners a-ok. Again...FFS.

[Anonymous]

I’m pretty sure most DC folks don’t think anything about southern women, like don’t really think about them at all. And certainly don’t group all southern women together as one stereotype. OP- your question is odd? Why do you think you think in terms of vast stereotypes? Why do you think all DC women would have the same thought about all women from the southern U.S.?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, OP, people are insecure about old systems of class oppression that they don't belong to.

For ex: I've been called Castle Lady on DCUM, because apparently I've posted a little too much about my aristocratic roots in Europe and my family's castles. People will assume a lot of untrue things about me, based only on these facts.

Same difference. Tread lightly.

Is this a joke? Are there really that many threads on here where that information is relevant to bring up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I moved here about 5 years ago and low key feel like my coworkers tolerate me but judge the fact that I’m from the south. I’ve only worked in corporate jobs, and never talk about politics, but identify as right of center but I don’t really like Trump and don’t feel comfortable talking about politics. I feel like I have to hide the fact that I’m a southern sorority girl that did a debutante ball, goes to church and country clubs ect even though they people I work with grew up upper middle class too. I’ve also scrubbed my social media of all the fraternity formal date pics and things like that after some snarky comments.

I’d just love to understand why people are so judgemental. My experience has always been that people in my life and hometown are kind and polite, so would love some honest feedback about what people think here about southern women and how I can appear more approachable while staying true to myself.

I'm finding this hard to believe. OP: can you describe some actual incidents that made you feel this way?

[Anonymous]

I'm a Southern man, though not of the country club set, and I've never had any issues. I go to church and I know lots of people who do as well, I've never felt like I should hide it. I know and have worked with lots of church going Southern ladies and none of them seem to have any problems.

I'm curious how often you're talking about being a debutant or posting fraternity formal pictures if you're an adult. That's kind of odd behavior and probably what people are reacting to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I moved here about 5 years ago and low key feel like my coworkers tolerate me but judge the fact that I’m from the south. I’ve only worked in corporate jobs, and never talk about politics, but identify as right of center but I don’t really like Trump and don’t feel comfortable talking about politics. I feel like I have to hide the fact that I’m a southern sorority girl that did a debutante ball, goes to church and country clubs ect even though they people I work with grew up upper middle class too. I’ve also scrubbed my social media of all the fraternity formal date pics and things like that after some snarky comments.

I’d just love to understand why people are so judgemental. My experience has always been that people in my life and hometown are kind and polite, so would love some honest feedback about what people think here about southern women and how I can appear more approachable while staying true to myself.

Troll.

Should have skipped the fake troll story and just asked: what does DCUM think of southern women who live and work in DC at corp job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I moved here about 5 years ago and low key feel like my coworkers tolerate me but judge the fact that I’m from the south. I’ve only worked in corporate jobs, and never talk about politics, but identify as right of center but I don’t really like Trump and don’t feel comfortable talking about politics. I feel like I have to hide the fact that I’m a southern sorority girl that did a debutante ball, goes to church and country clubs ect even though they people I work with grew up upper middle class too. I’ve also scrubbed my social media of all the fraternity formal date pics and things like that after some snarky comments.

I’d just love to understand why people are so judgemental. My experience has always been that people in my life and hometown are kind and polite, so would love some honest feedback about what people think here about southern women and how I can appear more approachable while staying true to myself.

Troll fail.

No mention of DAR or wash DC Junior League or all the fun SEC alumni groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lived in the south for a while and I was judged for wearing blue jeans, for not being girly enough, not being “sweet” enough, not wearing the same clothes as everyone else, not having been in a sorority, for eating normal portions of flavorful food, for not being related to anyone they deemed valuable to their social circles, not being “from there”, not being WASPy enough, for being “too” independent and for not not going to church.

I guess that’s just the way people are, OP. But we do have country clubs here. Good luck getting off the waitlist.

+1

The above is my firsthand impression of the south after having to work in Dallas for a few years.
Most never leave, it’s kind of sad. I even saw high school grads, boys or and girls, try college at Ohio State or at Amherst and transfer to SMU or TCU sophomore year. That was weird. Many seem to lean heavily on family or regional connections to do anything.