But at the top levels, men are doing just fine. There are lots of smart, healthy, motivated, kind, and well-adjusted men at Notre Dame, Vanderbilt, Stanford, Duke, Michigan, Rice, Chicago, MIT, Texas, and Georgia Tech. Some might be a little on the nerdier side, but most men at these schools are doing very well and are a benefit to any community. And I think all those schools are close to 50-50, though Georgia Tech will skew a little more male. There does seem to be a missing middle though among young men today. But more video games is definitely not the answer. Nor is dropping academic standards to get them to go to certain colleges. We need to deal with education and socialization issues at the elementary and middle school levels. The college level is too late to address these issues. |
I think worse than the partier social media obsessed girls are the ones who are so political that they only want to date some combo of far left beliefs with 100% political agreement conformity, and guys that look good on social media. Teaching your girls that only one cluster of political beliefs and 100% political agreement is a non negotiable will significantly reduce their dating options. There are soooo many wonderful guys that they are missing out on meeting, due to recent polarizing attitudes. You want your sons and daughters to have a positive dating life, go back to raising them like an 80s or 90s teen. |
There are always exceptions. |
The girls can be fairly rigid. They care so much more about who looks good on social media and can be very cutting about it. Plus, you forget that at the peak of the Me Too movement, it morphed from something desperately needed to girls at colleges making thing up and publicly shaming guys in social media for awkward dates or insufficiently desirable young men daring to ask them out. Seeing this happen to a few guys made the nicer guys hesitate to put themselves out there and ask girls out. |
Because men can still make more $ without a college degree in many cases. They aren't going into teaching and other professions they require undergrad to even start. They are truckers, manufacturing, other trades, police, military. All that can get them 50k to start without college debt. It's an ROI decision. |
Except…many men aren’t going to college or learning a trade or joining the police. Thats why the median income for those with just high school is fairly low…it’s not $50k. Women also can learn a trade or go into nursing or join the police BTW. |
And…I’m not sure that a dude just walks into a trade asking $50k & gets it. Median trucker salary is $57k & highest 10% (aka, not most) make $78k+: https://www.bls.gov/ooh/transportation-and-material-moving/heavy-and-tractor-trailer-truck-drivers.htm#tab-5 Plumbers are better at $62k median & highest 10% (again, no where near most) $105k+ https://www.bls.gov/ooh/construction-and-extraction/plumbers-pipefitters-and-steamfitters.htm#tab-5 Compared with mechanical engineers (a job that might appeal to a guy that likes learning how things work), the same stats are $102k & $161k+ Or Construction manager at $107k & $177k respectively. Doing a gap year to save money or starting with associates & attending a local university could be well worth the investment. (Coming from a family of trades people & UPS drivers: they made decent money to support their families & its honest work but their bodies are wrecked and *none* of them-I’ve got many uncles- encouraged their kids to enter trades & all of them saved as best they could for a college education |
| Oops forgot construction manager link; https://www.bls.gov/ooh/management/construction-managers.htm#tab-5 |
I have three brothers. One graduated from one of the schools you mentioned and is now unemployed living at home, playing video games. One dropped out of college, learned a trade and makes a ton of money but wastes his spare time on video games. And one graduated from a state school and is an expat in China living it up with many girlfriends. So none of the three are husband material. I am trying to make my boys better than that but on DCUM if you limit gaming you're making your kid an outcast. What's the solution? |
How is the 2nd one not husband material? And the 1st one would be if he got a job. |
Circling back to an earlier post, he is probably more conservative and also not Instagramable, which immediately puts him on the enormous swipe left pile for most young women. |
Honestly, most of the tours aren't very good if you are an average boy. My boys are back to back, class of 2025 and class of 2026. We went on probably 15 tours over the last few years. We toured big schools and small schools but mostly big schools. Most of them had tour guides that they couldn't identify with. The one tour that was a home run was Furman. Boy 2 loved it because of the two tour guides. Both male, one white and one black. Regular kids. |
All male teens in Silicon Valley/SF play tons of video games and also play club and varsity sports. They don't play video games during the week, just on weekends or during days off and it's played socially with other male friends. Video games and tech innovations are celebrated here. It's not one or the other. |
Because all three prefer to live as adolescents. They don't want to buy a house or father children. In their 30s. |
| I’ve never been attracted to California and hearing about the gamers adds to it. I know it’s probably not fair, but I just think adults playing video games is ick. |