Options for dead bedroom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is couples therapy excluded? Working through your issues is the only way to fix dead bedroom, whatever the real issue behind the dead bedroom is: health, resentment, incompatibility, exhaustion.

Finding a side partner is one way to work through them.

Finding a side partner is a good way to spread your unaddressed issues to someone else, and pick up some of their unaddressed issues/illnesses in the process. Stupid.

+100000.

Why bring more trouble to yourself: hiding/lying/planning for cheating.

Cheating seems like a win/win. Either you don't get caught, and you fix your problem. Or you do get caught, presumably leading to a divorce, which also fixes the problem.

it's only a win/win if you're a greedy coward. Getting caught blows up any hope of an amicable separation, but most importantly, blows up your reputation as a decent human being. Whatever you may gain from "not getting caught", YOU will know what you did. Enjoy that guilt, greedy coward!

NP.

While I agree with you, I also know this section of DCUM. What the women of DCUM fail to accept / understand is:

- you are a greedy coward if you withhold sex from your partner and refuse to address whatever causes you to withhold sex.

Every month, year after year, I read posts where women decide (all on their own) they no longer feel like doing it (no libido) and further decide their husband must simply accept being a-sexual, while also expecting his full fidelity.

Sorry, but it does not work that way. Again, only a greedy coward would do that to the person they married. People have to either fix their libido problem, address whatever it is they find so repulsive about their spouse, or let them go.

Trapping them in a sexless marriage never ends well for anyone.

Nobody. Traps. Men. In. Sexless. Marriages.

Men can leave. Men leave ALL THE TIME. Nobody forces men or women to cheat, they are adults who make (shitty) choices.

And by the time the bedroom is dead, the person who's gonna get blamed for killing it has probably said 1,000 times why they don't feel like fscking. Someone treats it as an entitlement, the other someone doesn't like meeting one person's needs when their own aren't getting met... Dead bedrooms all have one common cause: One party thinks they're owed sex without any respect or regard for the other human's needs. Lot of 'bedroom suicides', if you're being honest.

This is so not true. Can be the exact opposite. It is not fair to enter into a monogamous relationship giving the expectation of frequent sex, and then do a bat and switch after kids, merged lives, etc.

Ethical remedies for your problem are (i) fix the problem with your spouse through open communication, (2) go to couples counseling to get third-party help in fixing the problem, or (3) divorce.

Cheating at best provides a temporary escape, but it typically makes the underlying issues worse by adding betrayal to the mix. If you had divorced after putting in effort to resolve the underlying problem, including through counseling, you know you gave it your best shot, and your family, kids, and community wouldn't have any reason to question your integrity. Your divorce could be about irreconcilable differences instead of dad or mom being a cheater.

Everything in life is temporary. That's not a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is couples therapy excluded? Working through your issues is the only way to fix dead bedroom, whatever the real issue behind the dead bedroom is: health, resentment, incompatibility, exhaustion.

Finding a side partner is one way to work through them.

Finding a side partner is a good way to spread your unaddressed issues to someone else, and pick up some of their unaddressed issues/illnesses in the process. Stupid.

+100000.

Why bring more trouble to yourself: hiding/lying/planning for cheating.

Cheating seems like a win/win. Either you don't get caught, and you fix your problem. Or you do get caught, presumably leading to a divorce, which also fixes the problem.

it's only a win/win if you're a greedy coward. Getting caught blows up any hope of an amicable separation, but most importantly, blows up your reputation as a decent human being. Whatever you may gain from "not getting caught", YOU will know what you did. Enjoy that guilt, greedy coward!

NP.

While I agree with you, I also know this section of DCUM. What the women of DCUM fail to accept / understand is:

- you are a greedy coward if you withhold sex from your partner and refuse to address whatever causes you to withhold sex.

Every month, year after year, I read posts where women decide (all on their own) they no longer feel like doing it (no libido) and further decide their husband must simply accept being a-sexual, while also expecting his full fidelity.

Sorry, but it does not work that way. Again, only a greedy coward would do that to the person they married. People have to either fix their libido problem, address whatever it is they find so repulsive about their spouse, or let them go.

Trapping them in a sexless marriage never ends well for anyone.

Nobody. Traps. Men. In. Sexless. Marriages.

Men can leave. Men leave ALL THE TIME. Nobody forces men or women to cheat, they are adults who make (shitty) choices.

And by the time the bedroom is dead, the person who's gonna get blamed for killing it has probably said 1,000 times why they don't feel like fscking. Someone treats it as an entitlement, the other someone doesn't like meeting one person's needs when their own aren't getting met... Dead bedrooms all have one common cause: One party thinks they're owed sex without any respect or regard for the other human's needs. Lot of 'bedroom suicides', if you're being honest.

This is so not true. Can be the exact opposite. It is not fair to enter into a monogamous relationship giving the expectation of frequent sex, and then do a bat and switch after kids, merged lives, etc.

Ethical remedies for your problem are (i) fix the problem with your spouse through open communication, (2) go to couples counseling to get third-party help in fixing the problem, or (3) divorce.

Ethical remedies what a con.

An ethical response to an unethical action? That’s the manipulator’s playbook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is couples therapy excluded? Working through your issues is the only way to fix dead bedroom, whatever the real issue behind the dead bedroom is: health, resentment, incompatibility, exhaustion.

Finding a side partner is one way to work through them.

Finding a side partner is a good way to spread your unaddressed issues to someone else, and pick up some of their unaddressed issues/illnesses in the process. Stupid.

+100000.

Why bring more trouble to yourself: hiding/lying/planning for cheating.

Cheating seems like a win/win. Either you don't get caught, and you fix your problem. Or you do get caught, presumably leading to a divorce, which also fixes the problem.

it's only a win/win if you're a greedy coward. Getting caught blows up any hope of an amicable separation, but most importantly, blows up your reputation as a decent human being. Whatever you may gain from "not getting caught", YOU will know what you did. Enjoy that guilt, greedy coward!

NP.

While I agree with you, I also know this section of DCUM. What the women of DCUM fail to accept / understand is:

- you are a greedy coward if you withhold sex from your partner and refuse to address whatever causes you to withhold sex.

Every month, year after year, I read posts where women decide (all on their own) they no longer feel like doing it (no libido) and further decide their husband must simply accept being a-sexual, while also expecting his full fidelity.

Sorry, but it does not work that way. Again, only a greedy coward would do that to the person they married. People have to either fix their libido problem, address whatever it is they find so repulsive about their spouse, or let them go.

Trapping them in a sexless marriage never ends well for anyone.

Nobody. Traps. Men. In. Sexless. Marriages.

Men can leave. Men leave ALL THE TIME. Nobody forces men or women to cheat, they are adults who make (shitty) choices.

And by the time the bedroom is dead, the person who's gonna get blamed for killing it has probably said 1,000 times why they don't feel like fscking. Someone treats it as an entitlement, the other someone doesn't like meeting one person's needs when their own aren't getting met... Dead bedrooms all have one common cause: One party thinks they're owed sex without any respect or regard for the other human's needs. Lot of 'bedroom suicides', if you're being honest.

This is so not true. Can be the exact opposite. It is not fair to enter into a monogamous relationship giving the expectation of frequent sex, and then do a bat and switch after kids, merged lives, etc.

Ethical remedies for your problem are (i) fix the problem with your spouse through open communication, (2) go to couples counseling to get third-party help in fixing the problem, or (3) divorce.

Ethical remedies what a con.

An ethical response to an unethical action? That’s the manipulator’s playbook.

You're just a bad guy trying to justify your bad acts to a bunch of strangers. It's largely failing - not many people empathize with cheaters. Get a divorce if you need to have sex with other people.

[Anonymous]

One party refuses sex = opening the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is couples therapy excluded? Working through your issues is the only way to fix dead bedroom, whatever the real issue behind the dead bedroom is: health, resentment, incompatibility, exhaustion.

Finding a side partner is one way to work through them.

Finding a side partner is a good way to spread your unaddressed issues to someone else, and pick up some of their unaddressed issues/illnesses in the process. Stupid.

+100000.

Why bring more trouble to yourself: hiding/lying/planning for cheating.

Cheating seems like a win/win. Either you don't get caught, and you fix your problem. Or you do get caught, presumably leading to a divorce, which also fixes the problem.

it's only a win/win if you're a greedy coward. Getting caught blows up any hope of an amicable separation, but most importantly, blows up your reputation as a decent human being. Whatever you may gain from "not getting caught", YOU will know what you did. Enjoy that guilt, greedy coward!

NP.

While I agree with you, I also know this section of DCUM. What the women of DCUM fail to accept / understand is:

- you are a greedy coward if you withhold sex from your partner and refuse to address whatever causes you to withhold sex.

Every month, year after year, I read posts where women decide (all on their own) they no longer feel like doing it (no libido) and further decide their husband must simply accept being a-sexual, while also expecting his full fidelity.

Sorry, but it does not work that way. Again, only a greedy coward would do that to the person they married. People have to either fix their libido problem, address whatever it is they find so repulsive about their spouse, or let them go.

Trapping them in a sexless marriage never ends well for anyone.

Nobody. Traps. Men. In. Sexless. Marriages.

Men can leave. Men leave ALL THE TIME. Nobody forces men or women to cheat, they are adults who make (shitty) choices.

And by the time the bedroom is dead, the person who's gonna get blamed for killing it has probably said 1,000 times why they don't feel like fscking. Someone treats it as an entitlement, the other someone doesn't like meeting one person's needs when their own aren't getting met... Dead bedrooms all have one common cause: One party thinks they're owed sex without any respect or regard for the other human's needs. Lot of 'bedroom suicides', if you're being honest.

This is so not true. Can be the exact opposite. It is not fair to enter into a monogamous relationship giving the expectation of frequent sex, and then do a bat and switch after kids, merged lives, etc.

Ethical remedies for your problem are (i) fix the problem with your spouse through open communication, (2) go to couples counseling to get third-party help in fixing the problem, or (3) divorce.

Ethical remedies what a con.

An ethical response to an unethical action? That’s the manipulator’s playbook.

You're just a bad guy trying to justify your bad acts to a bunch of strangers. It's largely failing - not many people empathize with cheaters. Get a divorce if you need to have sex with other people.

People don’t care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is couples therapy excluded? Working through your issues is the only way to fix dead bedroom, whatever the real issue behind the dead bedroom is: health, resentment, incompatibility, exhaustion.

Finding a side partner is one way to work through them.

Finding a side partner is a good way to spread your unaddressed issues to someone else, and pick up some of their unaddressed issues/illnesses in the process. Stupid.

+100000.

Why bring more trouble to yourself: hiding/lying/planning for cheating.

Cheating seems like a win/win. Either you don't get caught, and you fix your problem. Or you do get caught, presumably leading to a divorce, which also fixes the problem.

it's only a win/win if you're a greedy coward. Getting caught blows up any hope of an amicable separation, but most importantly, blows up your reputation as a decent human being. Whatever you may gain from "not getting caught", YOU will know what you did. Enjoy that guilt, greedy coward!

NP.

While I agree with you, I also know this section of DCUM. What the women of DCUM fail to accept / understand is:

- you are a greedy coward if you withhold sex from your partner and refuse to address whatever causes you to withhold sex.

Every month, year after year, I read posts where women decide (all on their own) they no longer feel like doing it (no libido) and further decide their husband must simply accept being a-sexual, while also expecting his full fidelity.

Sorry, but it does not work that way. Again, only a greedy coward would do that to the person they married. People have to either fix their libido problem, address whatever it is they find so repulsive about their spouse, or let them go.

Trapping them in a sexless marriage never ends well for anyone.

Nobody. Traps. Men. In. Sexless. Marriages.

Men can leave. Men leave ALL THE TIME. Nobody forces men or women to cheat, they are adults who make (shitty) choices.

And by the time the bedroom is dead, the person who's gonna get blamed for killing it has probably said 1,000 times why they don't feel like fscking. Someone treats it as an entitlement, the other someone doesn't like meeting one person's needs when their own aren't getting met... Dead bedrooms all have one common cause: One party thinks they're owed sex without any respect or regard for the other human's needs. Lot of 'bedroom suicides', if you're being honest.

This is so not true. Can be the exact opposite. It is not fair to enter into a monogamous relationship giving the expectation of frequent sex, and then do a bat and switch after kids, merged lives, etc.

Ethical remedies for your problem are (i) fix the problem with your spouse through open communication, (2) go to couples counseling to get third-party help in fixing the problem, or (3) divorce.

Ethical remedies what a con.

An ethical response to an unethical action? That’s the manipulator’s playbook.

You are not owed sex, and it's not "unethical" to withhold sex. Unpleasant, sure. Unfortunate, okay. But unethical? Never. People have the right to decide what they do with their bodies, and you have the right to leave a relationship that's not meeting your needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One party refuses sex = opening the relationship.

Weakass cheating coward logic. Also sounds vaguely rapey. What a creep!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is couples therapy excluded? Working through your issues is the only way to fix dead bedroom, whatever the real issue behind the dead bedroom is: health, resentment, incompatibility, exhaustion.

Finding a side partner is one way to work through them.

Finding a side partner is a good way to spread your unaddressed issues to someone else, and pick up some of their unaddressed issues/illnesses in the process. Stupid.

+100000.

Why bring more trouble to yourself: hiding/lying/planning for cheating.

Cheating seems like a win/win. Either you don't get caught, and you fix your problem. Or you do get caught, presumably leading to a divorce, which also fixes the problem.

it's only a win/win if you're a greedy coward. Getting caught blows up any hope of an amicable separation, but most importantly, blows up your reputation as a decent human being. Whatever you may gain from "not getting caught", YOU will know what you did. Enjoy that guilt, greedy coward!

NP.

While I agree with you, I also know this section of DCUM. What the women of DCUM fail to accept / understand is:

- you are a greedy coward if you withhold sex from your partner and refuse to address whatever causes you to withhold sex.

Every month, year after year, I read posts where women decide (all on their own) they no longer feel like doing it (no libido) and further decide their husband must simply accept being a-sexual, while also expecting his full fidelity.

Sorry, but it does not work that way. Again, only a greedy coward would do that to the person they married. People have to either fix their libido problem, address whatever it is they find so repulsive about their spouse, or let them go.

Trapping them in a sexless marriage never ends well for anyone.

Nobody. Traps. Men. In. Sexless. Marriages.

Men can leave. Men leave ALL THE TIME. Nobody forces men or women to cheat, they are adults who make (shitty) choices.

And by the time the bedroom is dead, the person who's gonna get blamed for killing it has probably said 1,000 times why they don't feel like fscking. Someone treats it as an entitlement, the other someone doesn't like meeting one person's needs when their own aren't getting met... Dead bedrooms all have one common cause: One party thinks they're owed sex without any respect or regard for the other human's needs. Lot of 'bedroom suicides', if you're being honest.

This is so not true. Can be the exact opposite. It is not fair to enter into a monogamous relationship giving the expectation of frequent sex, and then do a bat and switch after kids, merged lives, etc.

Ethical remedies for your problem are (i) fix the problem with your spouse through open communication, (2) go to couples counseling to get third-party help in fixing the problem, or (3) divorce.

Ethical remedies what a con.

An ethical response to an unethical action? That’s the manipulator’s playbook.

You are not owed sex, and it's not "unethical" to withhold sex. Unpleasant, sure. Unfortunate, okay. But unethical? Never. People have the right to decide what they do with their bodies, and you have the right to leave a relationship that's not meeting your needs.

You're not owed sex any more than you're owed a monogamous spouse. Everything is a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One party refuses sex = opening the relationship.

Weakass cheating coward logic. Also sounds vaguely rapey. What a creep!

Finding a consenting partner is like rape? That's a weird take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One party refuses sex = opening the relationship.

Weakass cheating coward logic. Also sounds vaguely rapey. What a creep!

Finding a consenting partner is like rape? That's a weird take.

Coercive sex is. And saying “if you don’t have sex with me I’ll break public marriage vows, expose you to STDs, bring illegitimate children into the household and raise your chances of being the victim if violence” sure sounds coercive to me.

Maybe work on your personality if you feel like you need to defend coercive sex. It could explain your challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One party refuses sex = opening the relationship.

Weakass cheating coward logic. Also sounds vaguely rapey. What a creep!

Finding a consenting partner is like rape? That's a weird take.

Coercive sex is. And saying “if you don’t have sex with me I’ll break public marriage vows, expose you to STDs, bring illegitimate children into the household and raise your chances of being the victim if violence” sure sounds coercive to me.

Maybe work on your personality if you feel like you need to defend coercive sex. It could explain your challenges.

That's all the more reason to keep it secret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One party refuses sex = opening the relationship.

Weakass cheating coward logic. Also sounds vaguely rapey. What a creep!

Finding a consenting partner is like rape? That's a weird take.

Coercive sex is. And saying “if you don’t have sex with me I’ll break public marriage vows, expose you to STDs, bring illegitimate children into the household and raise your chances of being the victim if violence” sure sounds coercive to me.

So dramatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is couples therapy excluded? Working through your issues is the only way to fix dead bedroom, whatever the real issue behind the dead bedroom is: health, resentment, incompatibility, exhaustion.

Finding a side partner is one way to work through them.

Finding a side partner is a good way to spread your unaddressed issues to someone else, and pick up some of their unaddressed issues/illnesses in the process. Stupid.

+100000.

Why bring more trouble to yourself: hiding/lying/planning for cheating.

Cheating seems like a win/win. Either you don't get caught, and you fix your problem. Or you do get caught, presumably leading to a divorce, which also fixes the problem.

it's only a win/win if you're a greedy coward. Getting caught blows up any hope of an amicable separation, but most importantly, blows up your reputation as a decent human being. Whatever you may gain from "not getting caught", YOU will know what you did. Enjoy that guilt, greedy coward!

NP.

While I agree with you, I also know this section of DCUM. What the women of DCUM fail to accept / understand is:

- you are a greedy coward if you withhold sex from your partner and refuse to address whatever causes you to withhold sex.

Every month, year after year, I read posts where women decide (all on their own) they no longer feel like doing it (no libido) and further decide their husband must simply accept being a-sexual, while also expecting his full fidelity.

Sorry, but it does not work that way. Again, only a greedy coward would do that to the person they married. People have to either fix their libido problem, address whatever it is they find so repulsive about their spouse, or let them go.

Trapping them in a sexless marriage never ends well for anyone.

Nobody. Traps. Men. In. Sexless. Marriages.

Men can leave. Men leave ALL THE TIME. Nobody forces men or women to cheat, they are adults who make (shitty) choices.

And by the time the bedroom is dead, the person who's gonna get blamed for killing it has probably said 1,000 times why they don't feel like fscking. Someone treats it as an entitlement, the other someone doesn't like meeting one person's needs when their own aren't getting met... Dead bedrooms all have one common cause: One party thinks they're owed sex without any respect or regard for the other human's needs. Lot of 'bedroom suicides', if you're being honest.

This is so not true. Can be the exact opposite. It is not fair to enter into a monogamous relationship giving the expectation of frequent sex, and then do a bat and switch after kids, merged lives, etc.

Ethical remedies for your problem are (i) fix the problem with your spouse through open communication, (2) go to couples counseling to get third-party help in fixing the problem, or (3) divorce.

Ethical remedies what a con.

An ethical response to an unethical action? That’s the manipulator’s playbook.

You are not owed sex, and it's not "unethical" to withhold sex. Unpleasant, sure. Unfortunate, okay. But unethical? Never. People have the right to decide what they do with their bodies, and you have the right to leave a relationship that's not meeting your needs.

You're not owed sex any more than you're owed a monogamous spouse. Everything is a choice.

+1

[Anonymous]

Old person sex is revolting anyway. If you are over 45, no one wants to see you naked anyway and it’s probably time to just hang it up. And don’t act like as some 50 year old wrinkled bag of bones that you can go out and get some hot action easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Old person sex is revolting anyway. If you are over 45, no one wants to see you naked anyway and it’s probably time to just hang it up. And don’t act like as some 50 year old wrinkled bag of bones that you can go out and get some hot action easily.

Lol you sound like a 12 year old