Surprised by Dad and step mom relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s OP’s real concern here? That stepmom is going to walk off with what should have been your inheritance?

Bingo!

Not OP, but that is concerning. People experience cognitive decline in their old age and exercise very poor judgment. The stepmom likely won't advocate for her step kids. It really isn't fair that she should get what OP's mom and dad worked towards jointly just bc she is there.

This is why divorce sucks. And this is how generational wealth gets diluted. so glad my parents stayed together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because he did not raise you, your mother did.

You have idolized this man in your mind.

He wanted to control someone your mother was not that person. He wants a personal maid with sexual favors and that is what he has.

But, she is not a personal maid . She is doing the bare minimum at home and she is perfectly happy doing very little. Seems like the ex-wife (mom of OP) must have been an unpleasant person to be with - even if she was super efficient and super successful. Maybe the dad did not like the stress of being with that lady. Or maybe the sex with the 2nd wife is just that good.

He is 70 and probably can’t have sex. Younger wife is probably relieved and likes her lazy unambitious life. What could go wrong?

You think 70 year olds can't have sex?

Not the men!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dad raised two daughters and always pushed us to be high achieving academically and pushed us to go into high earning careers. Sister and I both graduated top of our high school class, went to highly ranked colleges and have successful careers. While I have mommy-tracked I make $150,000 a year/part time and sister makes $1 million a year. We both are married and have kids, etc.

My parents got divorced 20 years ago and my dad has since remarried a woman who is basically a doormat. She does not work, does not contribute to running the house and pretty much is only there to look pretty. She will cook for him and do his laundry. But he has a very busy life with lots of businesses and needs help running his household (like paying bills, organizing and scheduling house maintenance, gardening and keeping the house up, etc) and I feel like she does not contribute at all.

I am just so surprised that my dad decided to marry someone so passive when he has raised two women to be the exact opposite. Even my mom (his ex-wife) is very independent, worked my whole life, etc.

Did your mom work when they were married or only after divorce?

This is the right question! Let’s give credit to the mom! And why did they divorce? The dad now has a trophy wife and he may be happy.

Op - mom always worked. Until she retired. They divorced when my dad cheated on my mom (not with current step mom).

Dad is worth around $6 million. He is 70 and step mom is 45.

Your numbers don't add up.

How do my numbers not add up? My step mom is 45. I am 41. She is 4 years older than me.

Also I am not the person who has a step brother. That is another poster.

Op here

Do they have minor kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dad raised two daughters and always pushed us to be high achieving academically and pushed us to go into high earning careers. Sister and I both graduated top of our high school class, went to highly ranked colleges and have successful careers. While I have mommy-tracked I make $150,000 a year/part time and sister makes $1 million a year. We both are married and have kids, etc.

My parents got divorced 20 years ago and my dad has since remarried a woman who is basically a doormat. She does not work, does not contribute to running the house and pretty much is only there to look pretty. She will cook for him and do his laundry. But he has a very busy life with lots of businesses and needs help running his household (like paying bills, organizing and scheduling house maintenance, gardening and keeping the house up, etc) and I feel like she does not contribute at all.

I am just so surprised that my dad decided to marry someone so passive when he has raised two women to be the exact opposite. Even my mom (his ex-wife) is very independent, worked my whole life, etc.

Did your mom work when they were married or only after divorce?

This is the right question! Let’s give credit to the mom! And why did they divorce? The dad now has a trophy wife and he may be happy.

Op - mom always worked. Until she retired. They divorced when my dad cheated on my mom (not with current step mom).

Dad is worth around $6 million. He is 70 and step mom is 45.

Your numbers don't add up.

How do my numbers not add up? My step mom is 45. I am 41. She is 4 years older than me.

Also I am not the person who has a step brother. That is another poster.

Op here

Do they have minor kids?

No thank god. Op here

[Anonymous]

A much younger wife isn’t really a trophy wife, imo. A trophy wife can be a little younger but it’s for the main phase of ascendant middle age, not when you’re old.

[Anonymous]

How dare he want some enjoyment for himself after a lifetime of hard work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s OP’s real concern here? That stepmom is going to walk off with what should have been your inheritance?

OP feels threatened that femininity can be as rewarding as being a corporate robot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s OP’s real concern here? That stepmom is going to walk off with what should have been your inheritance?

Bingo!

Not OP, but that is concerning. People experience cognitive decline in their old age and exercise very poor judgment. The stepmom likely won't advocate for her step kids. It really isn't fair that she should get what OP's mom and dad worked towards jointly just bc she is there.

OP's mom already got her share. Dad is allowed to enjoy his share

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dad raised two daughters and always pushed us to be high achieving academically and pushed us to go into high earning careers. Sister and I both graduated top of our high school class, went to highly ranked colleges and have successful careers. While I have mommy-tracked I make $150,000 a year/part time and sister makes $1 million a year. We both are married and have kids, etc.

My parents got divorced 20 years ago and my dad has since remarried a woman who is basically a doormat. She does not work, does not contribute to running the house and pretty much is only there to look pretty. She will cook for him and do his laundry. But he has a very busy life with lots of businesses and needs help running his household (like paying bills, organizing and scheduling house maintenance, gardening and keeping the house up, etc) and I feel like she does not contribute at all.

I am just so surprised that my dad decided to marry someone so passive when he has raised two women to be the exact opposite. Even my mom (his ex-wife) is very independent, worked my whole life, etc.

He got his trophy wife and she clearly keeps him happy in the ways he likes. What’s the mystery here?

No one hates women like women hate women.

[Anonymous]

At this point she’s not your stepmom, she’s just your father’s wife. If she’s a nice woman then cultivate a pleasant relationship with her. She’ll be the one taking care of your dad as he ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s OP’s real concern here? That stepmom is going to walk off with what should have been your inheritance?

Bingo!

Not OP, but that is concerning. People experience cognitive decline in their old age and exercise very poor judgment. The stepmom likely won't advocate for her step kids. It really isn't fair that she should get what OP's mom and dad worked towards jointly just bc she is there.

OP's mom already got her share. Dad is allowed to enjoy his share

Many of these men dump the first wife right around when they start making the big bucks, so I can understand the kids feeling salty about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s OP’s real concern here? That stepmom is going to walk off with what should have been your inheritance?

OP feels threatened that femininity can be as rewarding as being a corporate robot.

I suspect OP prefers achievement in a professional setting requiring intellect and determination to prostituting herself as a trophy wife to some old guy with a shriveled ball sack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s OP’s real concern here? That stepmom is going to walk off with what should have been your inheritance?

OP feels threatened that femininity can be as rewarding as being a corporate robot.

I suspect OP prefers achievement in a professional setting requiring intellect and determination to prostituting herself as a trophy wife to some old guy with a shriveled ball sack.

OP should enjoy jer professional achievement and not obsess over her father's ball sack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
As a woman who doesn't do much, despite a graduate degree and the recipient of passive income of her own making, I take exception to the fact that I should be considered less than someone who has a career and runs around doing various things. Being "busy" is not a measure of kindness or intelligence or caregiving. Productivity is not the only, or even primary way to assess the worth of a human being. If this woman makes your father happy, surely that should be the only thing you care about?

I know this might be difficult for you to understand if you were raised to believe that sloth is for idiots and parasites. And I know I cannot change your mind. All I'm suggesting is that you don't let it show too much. Given her age, this woman will survive your father. If you're on good terms with her, and try to find something you can respect about her, then it will make all the future transitions - your father's retirement, his decline and eventual passing, various inheritances - easier.

And no, I am not your father's wife. I know a doofus will post "Found the wife!" in a moronically gleeful way.

You are a waste of space. Just because you can be a sloth, doesn't mean you should.

[Anonymous]

Tbh, I think people who posted about different "requirements" for a wife and a daughter are spot on. That said, you're lucky that your mom was ambitious as it helped you grow into an accomplished woman. My mom was like a typical "wife" and I happened to be born a female version of my dad, with looks and personality to match. That irked her to no end and she has tried to tear me down my whole life. Up to "you're not like a woman", "who would want you" etc. My dad doted on me. I ended up married with kids and luckily have sons only (less drama!?). All I can say, a step-mom of that kind is great to have