16 year old son doesn't handle dating well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s his overbearing boy-mom that makes the girls dump your sweet baby.

Good point. Boys who are momma boys and too close to their moms often have relationship issues like this.

I don’t care for OP’s post AND why are mothers always blamed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He becomes too clingy and is constantly texting and asking to see the girls he dates and always winds up getting dumped. He largely ignores his guy friends when he is dating and then when he is dumped he is depressed and isolated until he can rekindle those friendships. We've sent him to a therapist, which doesn't help. I don't feel like I can tell him that he is forbidden from dating as a 16 year old, but I wish I could because this dynamic is not healthy for him. What can I reasonably do that I haven't already done besides talking to him and sending him to the therapist?

Why is he dating then? Maybe he’s too young emotionally. My 18 yo about to go to college son isn’t dating yet. What’s the rush? He’s still a puppy!

So for all you know, your son may go through these issues when he does start dating.

It is perfectly normal to date in HS (and not to as well). Whenever one starts, there is a learning curve. I dated a number of guys before meeting my husband, and I learned things about myself from each relationship, and learned what I liked and didn’t like in a partner as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He becomes too clingy and is constantly texting and asking to see the girls he dates and always winds up getting dumped. He largely ignores his guy friends when he is dating and then when he is dumped he is depressed and isolated until he can rekindle those friendships. We've sent him to a therapist, which doesn't help. I don't feel like I can tell him that he is forbidden from dating as a 16 year old, but I wish I could because this dynamic is not healthy for him. What can I reasonably do that I haven't already done besides talking to him and sending him to the therapist?

OP, this is called anxious attachment style and there are books and podcasts and lots of tik toks, reels, etc... about it.

I think it is good you are recognizing this and not making it the girl's fault which many boy moms do.

He's has to figure out why he is like that (usually stems from looking at love as chaotic and have to prove your worth, or abandonment issues) and recognize and heal that before it rewires his brain that this is how love goes. He shouldn't date for awhile until he can become more stable.

There are a lot of great people online that help those with anxious attachment style and learn how to watch the energy of the other person, read the room, and when to lean out. Many teens and adults with anxious attachment also tend to have ADHD or anxiety.

THIS!!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you parents need to discuss boundaries while dating ?
Not ideal however. If you’re noticing a not so good trend ..

Otherwise, let it be.

[Anonymous]

This is dumb and you consulted a therapist? This is why the generation is messed up.

These are normal teenage dating problems. His relationships were likely to be short lived regardless of what he did/didn’t do. He is 16. So what if he texts too much? Let it be and he will learn. He isn’t stalking anyone or doing anything totally crazy. Most teenagers are sad after a breakup too. So what? That is normal. Sounds like he moves on eventually