16 year old son doesn't handle dating well

[Anonymous]

He becomes too clingy and is constantly texting and asking to see the girls he dates and always winds up getting dumped. He largely ignores his guy friends when he is dating and then when he is dumped he is depressed and isolated until he can rekindle those friendships. We've sent him to a therapist, which doesn't help. I don't feel like I can tell him that he is forbidden from dating as a 16 year old, but I wish I could because this dynamic is not healthy for him. What can I reasonably do that I haven't already done besides talking to him and sending him to the therapist?

[Anonymous]

How many girlfriends has he had?

[Anonymous]

How many girlfriends has he had?

Three. I also don't understand how he becomes so emotionally involved given that their hanging out is primarily at school, getting food, or going to movies.

[Anonymous]

How ‘successful’ are all his other relationships?

[Anonymous]

How ‘successful’ are all his other relationships?

He has guy friends to pal around with, when he makes the effort to do so. But it seems like they are very surface relationships. They would see a movie or play frisbee or soccer, but I don't think he would ever talk about a problem or issue with them. Does that make sense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

How ‘successful’ are all his other relationships?

He has guy friends to pal around with, when he makes the effort to do so. But it seems like they are very surface relationships. They would see a movie or play frisbee or soccer, but I don't think he would ever talk about a problem or issue with them. Does that make sense?

He needs to build deeper platonic friendships. Do you and your DH model that for him?

[Anonymous]

I think he'll grow out of this. Sounds like very normal teen romance angst

[Anonymous]

While the discussions can get uncomfortable, suggest he watch homath on YouTube (or TikTok/wherever). It’s a guy who breaks down what girls/women want so males can stop being repeatedly stupid. He makes some very good observations about what men do wrong in relationships.

[Anonymous]

One of the frustrating things about parenting kids this age is they do stupid things or have unhealthy patterns and we can see them and clearly identify them and even communicate them to the kid. And they keep doing it anyway.

Time and growing up a bit is the answer. He will most likely figure it out. You can't do it for him though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He becomes too clingy and is constantly texting and asking to see the girls he dates and always winds up getting dumped. He largely ignores his guy friends when he is dating and then when he is dumped he is depressed and isolated until he can rekindle those friendships. We've sent him to a therapist, which doesn't help. I don't feel like I can tell him that he is forbidden from dating as a 16 year old, but I wish I could because this dynamic is not healthy for him. What can I reasonably do that I haven't already done besides talking to him and sending him to the therapist?

OP, why would you send him to a therapist for this? Where the hell is his father? Can't he teach him what he's doing wrong?

[Anonymous]

He needs to go find group activity, volunteer work, etc., that includes both males and females without having to be “dating.”

The whole “dating” thing at his age is silly in the present day. It is practice intimacy that might have made sense when people got married right out of high school (if not before) but is unlikely to lead nowhere now, given that the very earliest most people are set up for independent living would be their mid 20’s, if not later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He becomes too clingy and is constantly texting and asking to see the girls he dates and always winds up getting dumped. He largely ignores his guy friends when he is dating and then when he is dumped he is depressed and isolated until he can rekindle those friendships. We've sent him to a therapist, which doesn't help. I don't feel like I can tell him that he is forbidden from dating as a 16 year old, but I wish I could because this dynamic is not healthy for him. What can I reasonably do that I haven't already done besides talking to him and sending him to the therapist?

This feeling is a lie. You can absolutely set rules around dating for teenagers.

[Anonymous]

leave him alone! No boy wants mommy butting in on his dating life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:leave him alone! No boy wants mommy butting in on his dating life.

+1.

OP, your son needs to figure this out in his own.

[Anonymous]

3 girlfriends already and he’s only 16? Wtf.