DH choked me

[Anonymous]

He is a thug. You don't want to find out what will happen to you when he chokes you while intoxicated. You may never wake up.

Free yourself from this gangster.

[Anonymous]

These reactions are insane. it was a bedroom behavior that she has consented to repeatedly in the past. he apologized and she can and should say it is off the table going forward. OP, see what happens after you put the boundaries in place. Jumping to divorce is absurd.
If he has an affair bc he just has to get this kind of kink fulfilled elsewhere, then you have your answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of people act like this an odd or unusual act. It is not something my wife and I are into and a good amount of our intimacy does revolve around BDSM. But when I was dating it was frequently requested, even by those who were very vanilla for the most part.

Here is the problem. She will give you consent. She will say she is BDSM trained. But if you choke on her on a day she is in a bad mood, you know whose words matter most these days. Men need to protect themselves by making sure they don't find themselves in high risk situations where it will be words against yours. You are going to be guilty first and then prove you are not.

Lick her, eat her, f**k her in all kind of positions that she likes but do not ever put yourself in any situation thats risky.

Yeah I know BDSM is a lifestyle. Yeah I know people do it. But sorry I want to live a free life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is a thug. You don't want to find out what will happen to you when he chokes you while intoxicated. You may never wake up.

Free yourself from this gangster.

😂

[Anonymous]

OP quick question: How do you respect him at all when he needs to PHYSICALLY HARM YOU TO GET OFF?

This is not a healthy, loving and caring relationship or a marriage at all.

[Anonymous]

Our society is sick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To answer some questions…he said he did not notice I said no. I just don’t want to try it anymore at this point.

Do you understand that the whole premise is concerning. Choking someone and looking at them at the brink of being alive for sexual pleasure is just…so wrong.

Allegedly choking is supposed to enhance the euphoria of the one being choked . He could just as easily be turned on by doing something risky/taboo that he thinks is making it feel better for his partner (understanding she doesn’t feel this way, but still…)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not directed to OP, just a PSA.

This is why people should have safe words. And don’t consent to anything you aren’t comfortable with.

If you don’t know if you are comfortable with something and want to explore it, have that conversation with your partner. Make it clear that would like to explore the act but that if you don’t like it or are uncomfortable with it you will let them know and you expect them to respect that decision and that will be the end of the discussion. No pleading, begging, guilting and/or arguing.

And possibly the most neglected fact, you have the right to withdrawal consent.

Don’t consent to anything that is not your affirmative idea and desire just to “indulge” a man. That’s not actually consent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These reactions are insane. it was a bedroom behavior that she has consented to repeatedly in the past. he apologized and she can and should say it is off the table going forward. OP, see what happens after you put the boundaries in place. Jumping to divorce is absurd.
If he has an affair bc he just has to get this kind of kink fulfilled elsewhere, then you have your answer.

The problem is she never truly consented to it, she was just “indulging” him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of people act like this an odd or unusual act. It is not something my wife and I are into and a good amount of our intimacy does revolve around BDSM. But when I was dating it was frequently requested, even by those who were very vanilla for the most part.

Here is the problem. She will give you consent. She will say she is BDSM trained. But if you choke on her on a day she is in a bad mood, you know whose words matter most these days. Men need to protect themselves by making sure they don't find themselves in high risk situations where it will be words against yours. You are going to be guilty first and then prove you are not.

Lick her, eat her, f**k her in all kind of positions that she likes but do not ever put yourself in any situation thats risky.

Yeah I know BDSM is a lifestyle. Yeah I know people do it. But sorry I want to live a free life.

It’s great that you don’t choke women but it is fascinating that you think it’s the man in these situations that is in a risky situation.

[Anonymous]

You can't consent to being choked anymore than you can consent to being shot with a gun or hit in the head with a sledgehammer.

And the fact he's getting off on it makes him worse, not better! Its abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I couldn’t be married to someone who gets off on choking women.

This!!!

[Anonymous]

That’s assault. I got chills reading your post. He sounds dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I couldn’t be married to someone who gets off on choking women.

x10000000000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone. We spoke again this morning and I said there will be no more choking again period in any context. He was apologetic and said he has no problem with no longer doing it.

I’m taking some time to myself to think all of this over.

Did he say why TF he didn’t stop when you asked him to?