DH choked me

[Anonymous]

Not acceptable. Period. Society's real issue is normalizing abusive and creepy behavior as kinky sex.

[Anonymous]

Listen to your gut and get out

[Anonymous]

"It’s not my thing, but I’ve indulged him."

If you stay with him, it's time to stop indulging him. Absolutely nothing approaching this type of activity ever again.

It's ok to say no in the first place if anything is "not your thing".

[Anonymous]

I agree, I could not be married to a man who choked me while he was getting off. It is sad that women feel this is acceptable in any way and it is bizarre that this has been normalized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/strangulation-is-the-highest-predictor-of-murder

Strangulation in any context is the highest predictor of murder.

Let's take a step back here. There is strangulation in the context of a fight and there is choking during sex. Those are two completely different things.

I think the choking epidemic during sex has spiraled out of control. I think the simple solution here is to take choking off the table completely. He took it too far, and he lost his "privilege".

I don’t think OP ever liked it - she never should have consented to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"It’s not my thing, but I’ve indulged him."

If you stay with him, it's time to stop indulging him. Absolutely nothing approaching this type of activity ever again.

It's ok to say no in the first place if anything is "not your thing".

++++1000000000. Op please consider why you felt like you had to “indulge” him. You do not.

[Anonymous]

As a woman who enjoys light bdsm I am left completely cold by the choking thing. It seems abusive and angry and weird. It’s really easy to go too far and I would be both saddened and frightened if that excited my partner.

[Anonymous]

Oh hell no. I’m so sorry OP, I can only imagine how terrifying that must have been, and still is. It would be a long while before we had sex again. And choking would be off the table forever. I don’t know how you put up with that in the first place, the thought of someone’s hands around my neck gives me chills. That would be a total turn off if a man asked to do that to me.

[Anonymous]

He needs to lay off the porn and never put his hands near your neck again.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t take this seriously, it can result in death. Please think of your future self - don’t you owe it to her to be safe?

[Anonymous]

This is completely not okay. You should not let him gaslight you into believing otherwise. Insist that he gets into therapy or tell him you will be filing a police report.

[Anonymous]

Take your children and run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh hell no. I’m so sorry OP, I can only imagine how terrifying that must have been, and still is. It would be a long while before we had sex again. And choking would be off the table forever. I don’t know how you put up with that in the first place, the thought of someone’s hands around my neck gives me chills. That would be a total turn off if a man asked to do that to me.

Honestly, she was traumatized and likely won’t feel safe during sex with him ever again. I think this can only be resolved one way - to end the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not ok. Your post gave me the chills. You need to leave. I’m very sorry.

This. Also, stop with all the porn.

[Anonymous]

It goes without saying that you never allow this behavior again. We incorporate light BDSM but the safe word is sacrosanct and means an immediate stop. Since he can’t respect that or respect you he is not a safe partner.