DH choked me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I couldn’t be married to someone who gets off on choking women.

+1

Please get out and get help.

[Anonymous]

Your husband needs to abuse you to get off. There is something very wrong here.

You need to leave him. He will escalate as he is mentally unwell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take some classes in Brazilian ju jitsu. Learn a few chokeholds and submission techniques. The next time he tries it and won't stop, break a few bones

This is escalating the situation and not deescalating. This is horrible advice!!!

[Anonymous]

I just read this book and the first time one of the guys committed assault, He claims he could not hear his partner saying no or struggling because he was so overcome with the feelings of the encounter. Very, very scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I couldn’t be married to someone who gets off on choking women.

[phone] Million
How can you respect a man who gets off hurting women? I respect myself and my body so much more than that.

[Anonymous]

Not directed to OP, just a PSA.

This is why people should have safe words. And don’t consent to anything you aren’t comfortable with.

If you don’t know if you are comfortable with something and want to explore it, have that conversation with your partner. Make it clear that would like to explore the act but that if you don’t like it or are uncomfortable with it you will let them know and you expect them to respect that decision and that will be the end of the discussion. No pleading, begging, guilting and/or arguing.

And possibly the most neglected fact, you have the right to withdrawal consent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone. We spoke again this morning and I said there will be no more choking again period in any context. He was apologetic and said he has no problem with no longer doing it.

I’m taking some time to myself to think all of this over.

OP you sound like your down playing this.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To answer some questions…he said he did not notice I said no. I just don’t want to try it anymore at this point.

That is scary. It means he was disassociating. He was not there in the moment with you.

[Anonymous]

Leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To answer some questions…he said he did not notice I said no. I just don’t want to try it anymore at this point.

That is scary. It means he was disassociating. He was not there in the moment with you.

I agree PP!

I said it once, I'll say it again OP seems to be downplaying this whole situation and I'm even more worried than her first post.

[Anonymous]

You know you should leave. You won’t, though…

[Anonymous]

wtf?

My DH is afraid to even f me too hard for fear of hurting me.

Your DH likes to get off on hurting his partner while having s3x. That's weird AF.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who sees choking another person as fun, sexual or not, needs psychological therapy before they are ever allowed to have sex again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who sees choking another person as fun, sexual or not, needs psychological therapy before they are ever allowed to have sex again.

The NYT had a big article about how prevalent it is in online viewing among youth today and scarily common. It was interviewing young women who had no idea that it was not normal.

Something else every parent now needs to talk about with their teens, sadly.

[Anonymous]

I know a lot of people act like this an odd or unusual act. It is not something my wife and I are into and a good amount of our intimacy does revolve around BDSM. But when I was dating it was frequently requested, even by those who were very vanilla for the most part.