Wife and reality

[Anonymous]

This is all BS troll post.

Even the kid’s summer makes zero sense for that age. Clearly not a competitive athlete kid either if sitting on a “boat” each weekend at some inland lake.

[Anonymous]

No one, and I mean no one calls their yacht on the Chesapeake or Potomac a boat. And fishing rigs are not called boats either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife just scolded me on the phone for 30 minutes because she is at work and not at home with our DC (early teen) while DC is not in school for the summer. She acts as though it is a foreign concept for both parents to work. Like we are an oddity. Have no idea where the sense of entitlement comes from.

Whenever I need to travel for work which is rare and only for one or tow days she acts as though no one else ever travels for work. I am lucky to have a job where I have flexibility in my schedule and whenever she takes time off vacation, I can work around that and go on vacation at the same time even on short notice. She thinks everyone has that luxury even though she doesn't even have the luxury.

I don't even know how to respond to this. She doesn't even leave room in form conversation, just condescending demeaning tone. She has made up her mind that this is wrong and not acceptable.

She regrets marrying a loser. A real man would provide for his family so she could focus on raising your child.

[Anonymous]

When she is calm, sit down and discuss divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is all BS troll post.

Even the kid’s summer makes zero sense for that age. Clearly not a competitive athlete kid either if sitting on a “boat” each weekend at some inland lake.

OP It’s not a troll post. Kid is not a competitive athlete. Is that a problem?

We go out on the bay not an inland lake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife just scolded me on the phone for 30 minutes because she is at work and not at home with our DC (early teen) while DC is not in school for the summer. She acts as though it is a foreign concept for both parents to work. Like we are an oddity. Have no idea where the sense of entitlement comes from.

Whenever I need to travel for work which is rare and only for one or tow days she acts as though no one else ever travels for work. I am lucky to have a job where I have flexibility in my schedule and whenever she takes time off vacation, I can work around that and go on vacation at the same time even on short notice. She thinks everyone has that luxury even though she doesn't even have the luxury.

I don't even know how to respond to this. She doesn't even leave room in form conversation, just condescending demeaning tone. She has made up her mind that this is wrong and not acceptable.

She regrets marrying a loser. A real man would provide for his family so she could focus on raising your child.

Yes I am a loser who makes $600k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one, and I mean no one calls their yacht on the Chesapeake or Potomac a boat. And fishing rigs are not called boats either.

It’s a 42’ boat, so not a yacht.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she is mad that the kid is wasting time at home sitting around. How about camp?

Disagree. I think she is just mad she is not a SAHM and summer is the only time she can argue the value in that with a straight face.

If she makes less than 20% of their HHI and she wants to be a SAHM, then they should talk about it.

I have offered, we could afford it. But we can't afford it and the beach house, and the boat and the nice vacations etc.

I don’t understand what you mean. Can you afford for her to SAH or not?

I am assuming that you wouldn’t be renting a couch in someone’s home and living off food stamps without her income.

If it means that you can’t have the boat, which is literally how you spend every weekend, and you can’t go on vacation, is what you make enough for you two to feel like you are able to get your needs met or not?

Yes we can live off what I make. It would mean her giving up what she wants, boat, beach house etc. or down sizing those.

[Anonymous]

I get it OP. If DW quits, you guys scale back on discretionary fun stuff so you can keep saving at the same levels. 150k is not chump change, but you should run the retirement projections and make sure you're being reasonable.

Are there some vacations you could cut back on? Does she REALLY love the boat as much as you do? The people I know who boat every weekend usually burn out on it

[Anonymous]

She feels guilty and is taking it out on you.

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like you all need to schedule a time to sit down, without the kid around, and take a hard look at your expenses. Talk about what you both would consider an ideal situation. Then run the numbers for all scenarios: you both work until retirement, she moves to PT and you work FT until the kid is out of the house, she becomes a SAHM until the kid is out of the house, or she becomes a SAHM and remains one after the kid leaves the house. Discuss what all scenarios would entail. Who would cover what responsibilities. Also, run the numbers for retirement and funding college and perhaps grad school. An honest heart to heart, without either of you getting upset, could do wonders. She is probably feeling guilty and realizing that she only has a few years with your kid at home...and this is troubling her. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife just scolded me on the phone for 30 minutes because she is at work and not at home with our DC (early teen) while DC is not in school for the summer. She acts as though it is a foreign concept for both parents to work. Like we are an oddity. Have no idea where the sense of entitlement comes from.

Whenever I need to travel for work which is rare and only for one or tow days she acts as though no one else ever travels for work. I am lucky to have a job where I have flexibility in my schedule and whenever she takes time off vacation, I can work around that and go on vacation at the same time even on short notice. She thinks everyone has that luxury even though she doesn't even have the luxury.

I don't even know how to respond to this. She doesn't even leave room in form conversation, just condescending demeaning tone. She has made up her mind that this is wrong and not acceptable.

She regrets marrying a loser. A real man would provide for his family so she could focus on raising your child.

Yes I am a loser who makes $600k.

Maybe she's looking for you to suggest she quit?

I want to quit and I feel pressured to work by DH. I make 300k. He made the same until he lost his job. I'd LOVE it if he made 600k and I could stay home.

.....I too might have some resentment like your wife. I feel trapped. And I still do the lion's share of kidcare. He thinks it's 50/50, it's not. Similar with house work - he cleans one or two dishes and it becomes "I did all the dishes last night" - forgetting we/I cooked for a family of 4 and used pots, pans, and we all eat off plates, so there's way more than 1 or 2. Now I get to do all of that, plus pay all the bills. Yay!

[Anonymous]

If you are a high earner, offer her to stay home and take over full responsibilities of home and kids. What's the point of extra money if everyone is unhappy, stressed and resentful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife just scolded me on the phone for 30 minutes because she is at work and not at home with our DC (early teen) while DC is not in school for the summer. She acts as though it is a foreign concept for both parents to work. Like we are an oddity. Have no idea where the sense of entitlement comes from.

Whenever I need to travel for work which is rare and only for one or tow days she acts as though no one else ever travels for work. I am lucky to have a job where I have flexibility in my schedule and whenever she takes time off vacation, I can work around that and go on vacation at the same time even on short notice. She thinks everyone has that luxury even though she doesn't even have the luxury.

I don't even know how to respond to this. She doesn't even leave room in form conversation, just condescending demeaning tone. She has made up her mind that this is wrong and not acceptable.

She regrets marrying a loser. A real man would provide for his family so she could focus on raising your child.

Yes I am a loser who makes $600k.

Maybe she's looking for you to suggest she quit?

I want to quit and I feel pressured to work by DH. I make 300k. He made the same until he lost his job. I'd LOVE it if he made 600k and I could stay home.

.....I too might have some resentment like your wife. I feel trapped. And I still do the lion's share of kidcare. He thinks it's 50/50, it's not. Similar with house work - he cleans one or two dishes and it becomes "I did all the dishes last night" - forgetting we/I cooked for a family of 4 and used pots, pans, and we all eat off plates, so there's way more than 1 or 2. Now I get to do all of that, plus pay all the bills. Yay!

Its so clear that women aren't gracious af all when they are higher earners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When she is calm, sit down and discuss divorce.

Pretty much.