Wife and reality

[Anonymous]

Wife just scolded me on the phone for 30 minutes because she is at work and not at home with our DC (early teen) while DC is not in school for the summer. She acts as though it is a foreign concept for both parents to work. Like we are an oddity. Have no idea where the sense of entitlement comes from.

Whenever I need to travel for work which is rare and only for one or tow days she acts as though no one else ever travels for work. I am lucky to have a job where I have flexibility in my schedule and whenever she takes time off vacation, I can work around that and go on vacation at the same time even on short notice. She thinks everyone has that luxury even though she doesn't even have the luxury.

I don't even know how to respond to this. She doesn't even leave room in form conversation, just condescending demeaning tone. She has made up her mind that this is wrong and not acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Do you work from home? Is she the primary breadwinner? Does she make more than you?

She clearly is resentful of something.

Definitely feels like we aren't getting the full story here.

[Anonymous]

What is the scolding part here? Is she saying you should be home with the child, or she should be home with the child, and are you supposed to make more money or something? Tie together why the daughter being home alone translated into scolding you.

[Anonymous]

So did you leave your kid unsupervised or something?

[Anonymous]

Does she prefer to be a SAHM and you (I mean both of you) can't afford it?

[Anonymous]

You both speak of eachother with a lot of contempt, which is a very bad sign. Divorce is extremely expensive. Call a couples counselor, it will save you money in the long run either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the scolding part here? Is she saying you should be home with the child, or she should be home with the child, and are you supposed to make more money or something? Tie together why the daughter being home alone translated into scolding you.

Clearly she’s angry that OP has not afforded her a life of leisure. She’s jealous of all the other stay-at-home moms.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you agreed to do something/ a reasonable person thought you would, and you didn't do it, but left out that part. Stay home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife just scolded me on the phone for 30 minutes because she is at work and not at home with our DC (early teen) while DC is not in school for the summer. She acts as though it is a foreign concept for both parents to work. Like we are an oddity. Have no idea where the sense of entitlement comes from.

Whenever I need to travel for work which is rare and only for one or tow days she acts as though no one else ever travels for work. I am lucky to have a job where I have flexibility in my schedule and whenever she takes time off vacation, I can work around that and go on vacation at the same time even on short notice. She thinks everyone has that luxury even though she doesn't even have the luxury.

I don't even know how to respond to this. She doesn't even leave room in form conversation, just condescending demeaning tone. She has made up her mind that this is wrong and not acceptable.

As long as she didn't swear at you, it's totally fine.

-DCUM harpies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you work from home? Is she the primary breadwinner? Does she make more than you?

She clearly is resentful of something.

Definitely feels like we aren't getting the full story here.

I work from home.

I am primary breadwinner. I make 4-5x what she does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife just scolded me on the phone for 30 minutes because she is at work and not at home with our DC (early teen) while DC is not in school for the summer. She acts as though it is a foreign concept for both parents to work. Like we are an oddity. Have no idea where the sense of entitlement comes from.

Whenever I need to travel for work which is rare and only for one or tow days she acts as though no one else ever travels for work. I am lucky to have a job where I have flexibility in my schedule and whenever she takes time off vacation, I can work around that and go on vacation at the same time even on short notice. She thinks everyone has that luxury even though she doesn't even have the luxury.

I don't even know how to respond to this. She doesn't even leave room in form conversation, just condescending demeaning tone. She has made up her mind that this is wrong and not acceptable.

Sorry don’t follow.

What was your role and action in providing meaningful things and structure for your k-13 aged children this summer?

[Anonymous]

No reason to listen to her for 30 minutes. You have better things to do.

[Anonymous]

What did you do or help do? For eg:

Select and sign up for sleep away or day camps?

Pick some good summer school programs?

Plan some meaningful family or kid travel?

Find good sports or fitness programs for them each week?

Help them plan and make healthy meals if home?

Set school or health or athletic goals and steps towards achieving them?

Find out which friends or relatives are in town when so they can socialize?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you agreed to do something/ a reasonable person thought you would, and you didn't do it, but left out that part. Stay home?

No the case I think she feels like 5 million dollar salaries are handed to everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you work from home? Is she the primary breadwinner? Does she make more than you?

She clearly is resentful of something.

Definitely feels like we aren't getting the full story here.

I work from home.

I am primary breadwinner. I make 4-5x what she does.

Still don’t follow.

What do you do each day and week besides work at home and play on DCUM?

And when you WFH you ignore everyone? Jsut grab your lunch and retreat? Don’t checkin? Don’t take a break or exercise?