Please give it to me straight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forget about the earlier situation. It is irrelevant at this point.

Since you have three young kids, I'd try marriage counseling first to see if you can sort this out.

A bigger issue than the marriage even seems to be that you've lost touch with your authentic self. You seem to be just going through the motions in your life, and your husband is equally disconnected from his. Before you quit everything you need to reconnect with yourself and really face yourself. It may seem hard but can you possibly get some sitter time so that you can get a therapist? Maybe present it to your husband as a mental health crisis and you need to address it so you can be present for the kids? You need to have some support in untangling this.

OP here.

Yes, motherhood has definitely changed my whole identity.

I have said over years we need help. He has fought me each time it is presented.

I have been more adamant lately and might possibly be making some headway there, but I know deep down he still doesn't want to do it.

We've got baggage from before we even had kids so yeah, we need help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He knows you cheated on him.
He half suspects the kids aren't his.

He's sticking around because likely easier than divorcing you.

You are not blameless in this situation as much as you have tried to portray yourself as a victim.

OP here.

What?? My husband is the only man I've ever been with physically and sexually.

My kids are 100% his kids, too.

And yes, I've said many times I know I completely messed up by chatting with the old co-worker. I never disclosed this to him.

Sending nudes to someone not your husband is cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely do not become a novelist.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surely your kids will be in school soon.

I never quite understand people who say they do everything but they don’t work. Someone has to pay for housing and keep a roof over everyone’s head, someone has to pay for food and keep everyone fed, someone has to pay for clothes and necessities - these are absolutely essential responsibilities of parenting. Typically also someone pays for transportation / cars, extra curricular a, vacations, savings, emergency funds, college funds etc. all of this is part of parenting too. Life and being a parent costs money. There are a lot of financial responsibilities involved in being a parent. So if you aren’t working, then someone else is taking on a huge chunk of parenting responsibility for the kids and for you as an adult. So no, you don’t do 100%. There is a big piece of being an adult and a parent that you contribute 0% towards and the fact that you don’t think that is part of parenting just shows an entitlement. You don’t value or appreciate what your husband contributes to parenting and the family but you expect him to value you. You have an affair and deny him a sexual relationship.

I don’t get how you think you treat him any better than he treats you. Sounds like you have both created a dynamic of disrespect and lack of appreciation.

OP here.

Yes, we both don't have respect for one another, this is very true.

But I really do have all of the parenting on my shoulders. Even he would agree with me on that.

No, I don't make money, and that has been used against me multiple times but him.

I've said over the years I want to work part-time but I am denied the ability to do so by him because he says it isn't worth it because I'll work too much and get too little money, and it will take away from me raising the kids.

So he makes the money and mows the grass, while I do everything else. I don't know. Seems unbalanced to me but maybe I'm genuinely wrong.

Money can be a resource just like time. If he doesn't contribute financially to the household, then he is just making money, but if he is shouldering all the expenses of the family, that is a major parenting responsibility and he is doing a lot. He isn't just making money - he is spending 8-10 hours a day contributing to parenting responsibilities to keep the family safe and healthy and functioning. I think you are wrong to not see that he is also spending x number of hours a week working just as hard for the family as you do - just in a different but equally as important way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made a terrible, terrible, terrible mistake years ago.

My husband and I have been together for a long time (20 years).

A few years ago, we moved to a different state. I was newly pregnant and at the time my husband started a new business venture which left him away from home a lot, on top of his normal day job.

With a young child and being pregnant, I felt very alone and like I was solo parenting.

I had expressed this numerous times to no avail. I felt ignored, unheard, and moved to the side.

I began chatting with a former co-worker. I knew he had a crush on me. It was an absolute cheap shot.

For a few months, things got heavy. We ended up sending each other nudes. I am horribly ashamed of this.

I admit that I enjoyed the attention. I wasn't getting noticed or helped by my husband (not excusing my poor behavior).

Years later we ended up returning back to where we moved from and on a few occasions we met up with one another.

We never ever did anything physical with each other when we were together.

For some reason I guess I thought it was still okay if nothing physical happened. I now know that it was still just as bad.

I haven't talked to this person in nearly 2 years - zero contact. I realized this was something I needed to do and to never talk with them again.

Fast forward to the present.

Husband and I now have two more children (one is a baby) and our relationship is still not good at all.

He is never really mentally present when he's with us. He is glued to his phone, chatting with co-workers or people on the Internet he's never actually met and probably never will.

Our kids ask him to play with them but he never does.

He works on his own hobby projects as he pleases while I parent all of our children 24/7. I take care of everything kid related. Medical appointments (scheduling and attending), meals, bedtime/teeth, bathing, schooling, nighttime duty with the baby, 1-1 time with our oldest).

I am always exhausted and usually fall asleep on the sofa in the middle of the day (when toddler and baby are napping) or shortly before bedtime.

I have continuously asked him to put down the phone when he is done wit his day job and to not message his co-workers that he was just talking with all day, but it hasn't happened yet.

I cry, beg, yell, but it doesn't make a difference.

I think he has anger issues because he yells at our kids pretty frequently and very quickly once he is around them, despite not being near them during the day.

Obviously we have no sex life. We barely embrace and are just roommates at this point.

As mentioned above, I am exhausted every single day which doesn't help.

I continue to feel ignored, minimized, invisible. Now I have more kids to parent alone and I feel sad much of the time and have cried in secret at times.

We fight often about child rearing, home responsibilities, money spending, etc.

He very severely lacks any sort of sensitivity with me and our kids.

He rarely looks at me when I'm speaking to him. I usually have to ask him to put down his phone so that he will even try to pay attention to what I'm saying.

He almost always forgets what I say to him. About everything. Children related or just something I told him (things that aren't meaningless).

He never seems to know what to do with our kids. He doesn't know what they like or dislike.

When I have to go out for any reason (previously it was a lot for prenatal appointments), the kids are typically not fed, diapers aren't changed, and our toddler is not put down for a nap until very late, almost pointless when it happens because they're awake at bedtime.

He wants sex but I have no interest in someone who doesn't even pay attention to me or have any sort of emotional connection.

I have said I want us to go to counseling but am always met with resistance.

We've been together for so long that it is hard to imagine us not being together, even though we are quite dysfunctional.

I know I messed up in a massive way and he didn't deserve that, despite how unhappy I've been.

At times I have wondered if we should just separate. I hate to think of our kids growing up with their parents not together.

Not to mention living in two different places and the logistical complications of such.

And the shame. Only one couple between my mother and father's side have ended in divorce. So it's basically not a thing in my family.

At the same time, I feel like I'm already doing everything for the kids by myself anyways..

And I don't want our kids to think this is at all normal.

Sometimes I want to fix things and sometimes I don't know if it's worth it.

All this to say, how do you know when it's time to make things work or end it?

Dump him. You were entirely justified in cheating, and none of his actions were ok. You're blameless and he's toxic.

OP here.

See the thing is that I know I royally messed up. I don't know if I would ever tell myself I wasn't wrong in behaving that way.

That is something that if he knew about, he could be the one to end it. And I don't think I'd be able to argue against his reasoning there.

OP sorry but you should never have anymore kids with him after your realized what a terrible dad he is. That ship has sailed and instead of focusing on how bad he is to you and your kids, you keep coming back to one stupid thing you did, even though it sounds like he’s awful on a daily basis. It’s like you’re justifying him being awful regularly bc you were once not perfect.

Your reasons for not divorcing are dumb - who cares what your family would think. If they’d think it’s a bad choice then they’re either not caring about you or their grandchildren or they’re oblivious to what the situation really is, or they don’t care bc they care more about appearances, all of which are bad. In all of your rambling, you never once thought about what this is sound to the kids. They’re probably on egg shells around him, and if they’re not, think of the example he’s setting. Rude to their mom, snippy to them, mom is tired to the bone. This is not a great life for them.

You need to get individual counseling to see why you have such little self worth that you put up with this. Who cares how long you’ve been with him, that’s a sunk cost. Get out while you have the majority of your life ahead of you. You should also start meeting with a divorce attorney to get your ducks in a row. If you won’t do all of this for yourself, at least for your kids.

OP here

I wouldn't say he's awful every day but he certainly has daily fits and he upsets our oldest every day by being short with them.

He gets angry very easily and our kids don't go to him for comfort when they're upset for whatever reason.

He is extremely impatient with them and I think it's ridiculous because for only a few hours each evening after work he should want to spend time with them, not be angry with them all the time.

His parents fought all the time growing up, and his father in particular slings awful things at his wife.

I think his upbringing and seeing that messed up dynamic between his parents has had a lasting impact on him and is in turn affecting our relationship and our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He knows you cheated on him.
He half suspects the kids aren't his.

He's sticking around because likely easier than divorcing you.

You are not blameless in this situation as much as you have tried to portray yourself as a victim.

OP here.

What?? My husband is the only man I've ever been with physically and sexually.

My kids are 100% his kids, too.

And yes, I've said many times I know I completely messed up by chatting with the old co-worker. I never disclosed this to him.

Sending nudes to someone not your husband is cheating.

OP here.

I never said it wasn't cheating. I was refuting the other person's ridiculous claim that my kids are somehow also not his kids due to my emotional straying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely do not become a novelist.

OP here.

Ha, as noted previously, it's easier to read smaller sections vs. large paragraphs.

But noted, wasn't planning on it.

Whoosh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surely your kids will be in school soon.

I never quite understand people who say they do everything but they don’t work. Someone has to pay for housing and keep a roof over everyone’s head, someone has to pay for food and keep everyone fed, someone has to pay for clothes and necessities - these are absolutely essential responsibilities of parenting. Typically also someone pays for transportation / cars, extra curricular a, vacations, savings, emergency funds, college funds etc. all of this is part of parenting too. Life and being a parent costs money. There are a lot of financial responsibilities involved in being a parent. So if you aren’t working, then someone else is taking on a huge chunk of parenting responsibility for the kids and for you as an adult. So no, you don’t do 100%. There is a big piece of being an adult and a parent that you contribute 0% towards and the fact that you don’t think that is part of parenting just shows an entitlement. You don’t value or appreciate what your husband contributes to parenting and the family but you expect him to value you. You have an affair and deny him a sexual relationship.

I don’t get how you think you treat him any better than he treats you. Sounds like you have both created a dynamic of disrespect and lack of appreciation.

OP here.

Yes, we both don't have respect for one another, this is very true.

But I really do have all of the parenting on my shoulders. Even he would agree with me on that.

No, I don't make money, and that has been used against me multiple times but him.

I've said over the years I want to work part-time but I am denied the ability to do so by him because he says it isn't worth it because I'll work too much and get too little money, and it will take away from me raising the kids.

So he makes the money and mows the grass, while I do everything else. I don't know. Seems unbalanced to me but maybe I'm genuinely wrong.

Money can be a resource just like time. If he doesn't contribute financially to the household, then he is just making money, but if he is shouldering all the expenses of the family, that is a major parenting responsibility and he is doing a lot. He isn't just making money - he is spending 8-10 hours a day contributing to parenting responsibilities to keep the family safe and healthy and functioning. I think you are wrong to not see that he is also spending x number of hours a week working just as hard for the family as you do - just in a different but equally as important way.

OP here.

This is an area in which we often argue about.

He doesn't see me parenting day in a day out. He doesn't see the fits and tantrums, the sibling fighting, when one kid is asleep and the other is awake and then within 5 minutes they're switching when I thought I could get a break, etc.

He works from home and is typically not very busy. I know this because he is oftentimes working on his own personal projects during work time.

Our laundry machines are also in his office so when I go there to do laundry I can see him playing games at times or reading personal articles.

When I ask for help, he magically always has to do something else right away - whether that be pooping, going to the basement, outside to mow, or whatever it may be, I'm almost always left hanging with parental responsibilities.

So while he does make the money in order to have us living in our house, it isn't necessarily so black and white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Expecting emotional connection while withholding sex is nuts

OP here.

I can easily switch that around and say expecting sex while withholding emotional connection is nuts.

But just to clarify, it's not that I want sex and am purposefully withholding it. I literally don't even desire sex with him and am not using a lack of sex as a punishment.

But as a woman should I just have sex with him anyways because he's a man and men always want sex no matter what and that is a need of his as a husband?

What about my needs as a wife?

He should just get everything he wants without putting in the work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I made a terrible, terrible, terrible mistake years ago.

My husband and I have been together for a long time (20 years).

A few years ago, we moved to a different state. I was newly pregnant and at the time my husband started a new business venture which left him away from home a lot, on top of his normal day job.

With a young child and being pregnant, I felt very alone and like I was solo parenting.

I had expressed this numerous times to no avail. I felt ignored, unheard, and moved to the side.

I began chatting with a former co-worker. I knew he had a crush on me. It was an absolute cheap shot.

For a few months, things got heavy. We ended up sending each other nudes. I am horribly ashamed of this.

I admit that I enjoyed the attention. I wasn't getting noticed or helped by my husband (not excusing my poor behavior).

Years later we ended up returning back to where we moved from and on a few occasions we met up with one another.

We never ever did anything physical with each other when we were together.

For some reason I guess I thought it was still okay if nothing physical happened. I now know that it was still just as bad.

I haven't talked to this person in nearly 2 years - zero contact. I realized this was something I needed to do and to never talk with them again.

Fast forward to the present.

Husband and I now have two more children (one is a baby) and our relationship is still not good at all.

He is never really mentally present when he's with us. He is glued to his phone, chatting with co-workers or people on the Internet he's never actually met and probably never will.

Our kids ask him to play with them but he never does.

He works on his own hobby projects as he pleases while I parent all of our children 24/7. I take care of everything kid related. Medical appointments (scheduling and attending), meals, bedtime/teeth, bathing, schooling, nighttime duty with the baby, 1-1 time with our oldest).

I am always exhausted and usually fall asleep on the sofa in the middle of the day (when toddler and baby are napping) or shortly before bedtime.

I have continuously asked him to put down the phone when he is done wit his day job and to not message his co-workers that he was just talking with all day, but it hasn't happened yet.

I cry, beg, yell, but it doesn't make a difference.

I think he has anger issues because he yells at our kids pretty frequently and very quickly once he is around them, despite not being near them during the day.

Obviously we have no sex life. We barely embrace and are just roommates at this point.

As mentioned above, I am exhausted every single day which doesn't help.

I continue to feel ignored, minimized, invisible. Now I have more kids to parent alone and I feel sad much of the time and have cried in secret at times.

We fight often about child rearing, home responsibilities, money spending, etc.

He very severely lacks any sort of sensitivity with me and our kids.

He rarely looks at me when I'm speaking to him. I usually have to ask him to put down his phone so that he will even try to pay attention to what I'm saying.

He almost always forgets what I say to him. About everything. Children related or just something I told him (things that aren't meaningless).

He never seems to know what to do with our kids. He doesn't know what they like or dislike.

When I have to go out for any reason (previously it was a lot for prenatal appointments), the kids are typically not fed, diapers aren't changed, and our toddler is not put down for a nap until very late, almost pointless when it happens because they're awake at bedtime.

He wants sex but I have no interest in someone who doesn't even pay attention to me or have any sort of emotional connection.

I have said I want us to go to counseling but am always met with resistance.

We've been together for so long that it is hard to imagine us not being together, even though we are quite dysfunctional.

I know I messed up in a massive way and he didn't deserve that, despite how unhappy I've been.

At times I have wondered if we should just separate. I hate to think of our kids growing up with their parents not together.

Not to mention living in two different places and the logistical complications of such.

And the shame. Only one couple between my mother and father's side have ended in divorce. So it's basically not a thing in my family.

At the same time, I feel like I'm already doing everything for the kids by myself anyways..

And I don't want our kids to think this is at all normal.

Sometimes I want to fix things and sometimes I don't know if it's worth it.

All this to say, how do you know when it's time to make things work or end it?

I completely get and empathize with all of this. Unfortunately I think this is normal marriage. Most men just suck when it comes to understanding women, much less mothers, on a deep level. I was you 15 years ago. We divorced. We coparented ok. Kids are doing well on paper (but teens don’t know what’s up yet).

My advise is to reset your expectations of him to essentially zero, find connect with your female/platonic friends, and don’t divorce. Especially if you value the institution of marriage. Men are just on par terrible compared to women with the first 20 years of children’s lives.

Be well my dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made a terrible, terrible, terrible mistake years ago.

My husband and I have been together for a long time (20 years).

A few years ago, we moved to a different state. I was newly pregnant and at the time my husband started a new business venture which left him away from home a lot, on top of his normal day job.

With a young child and being pregnant, I felt very alone and like I was solo parenting.

I had expressed this numerous times to no avail. I felt ignored, unheard, and moved to the side.

I began chatting with a former co-worker. I knew he had a crush on me. It was an absolute cheap shot.

For a few months, things got heavy. We ended up sending each other nudes. I am horribly ashamed of this.

I admit that I enjoyed the attention. I wasn't getting noticed or helped by my husband (not excusing my poor behavior).

Years later we ended up returning back to where we moved from and on a few occasions we met up with one another.

We never ever did anything physical with each other when we were together.

For some reason I guess I thought it was still okay if nothing physical happened. I now know that it was still just as bad.

I haven't talked to this person in nearly 2 years - zero contact. I realized this was something I needed to do and to never talk with them again.

Fast forward to the present.

Husband and I now have two more children (one is a baby) and our relationship is still not good at all.

He is never really mentally present when he's with us. He is glued to his phone, chatting with co-workers or people on the Internet he's never actually met and probably never will.

Our kids ask him to play with them but he never does.

He works on his own hobby projects as he pleases while I parent all of our children 24/7. I take care of everything kid related. Medical appointments (scheduling and attending), meals, bedtime/teeth, bathing, schooling, nighttime duty with the baby, 1-1 time with our oldest).

I am always exhausted and usually fall asleep on the sofa in the middle of the day (when toddler and baby are napping) or shortly before bedtime.

I have continuously asked him to put down the phone when he is done wit his day job and to not message his co-workers that he was just talking with all day, but it hasn't happened yet.

I cry, beg, yell, but it doesn't make a difference.

I think he has anger issues because he yells at our kids pretty frequently and very quickly once he is around them, despite not being near them during the day.

Obviously we have no sex life. We barely embrace and are just roommates at this point.

As mentioned above, I am exhausted every single day which doesn't help.

I continue to feel ignored, minimized, invisible. Now I have more kids to parent alone and I feel sad much of the time and have cried in secret at times.

We fight often about child rearing, home responsibilities, money spending, etc.

He very severely lacks any sort of sensitivity with me and our kids.

He rarely looks at me when I'm speaking to him. I usually have to ask him to put down his phone so that he will even try to pay attention to what I'm saying.

He almost always forgets what I say to him. About everything. Children related or just something I told him (things that aren't meaningless).

He never seems to know what to do with our kids. He doesn't know what they like or dislike.

When I have to go out for any reason (previously it was a lot for prenatal appointments), the kids are typically not fed, diapers aren't changed, and our toddler is not put down for a nap until very late, almost pointless when it happens because they're awake at bedtime.

He wants sex but I have no interest in someone who doesn't even pay attention to me or have any sort of emotional connection.

I have said I want us to go to counseling but am always met with resistance.

We've been together for so long that it is hard to imagine us not being together, even though we are quite dysfunctional.

I know I messed up in a massive way and he didn't deserve that, despite how unhappy I've been.

At times I have wondered if we should just separate. I hate to think of our kids growing up with their parents not together.

Not to mention living in two different places and the logistical complications of such.

And the shame. Only one couple between my mother and father's side have ended in divorce. So it's basically not a thing in my family.

At the same time, I feel like I'm already doing everything for the kids by myself anyways..

And I don't want our kids to think this is at all normal.

Sometimes I want to fix things and sometimes I don't know if it's worth it.

All this to say, how do you know when it's time to make things work or end it?

I completely get and empathize with all of this. Unfortunately I think this is normal marriage. Most men just suck when it comes to understanding women, much less mothers, on a deep level. I was you 15 years ago. We divorced. We coparented ok. Kids are doing well on paper (but teens don’t know what’s up yet).

My advise is to reset your expectations of him to essentially zero, find connect with your female/platonic friends, and don’t divorce. Especially if you value the institution of marriage. Men are just on par terrible compared to women with the first 20 years of children’s lives.

Be well my dear.

OP here.

Thank you for you reply and I am sorry for your rough situation, too.

Just because I'm not clear, what do you mean your teenagers don't know what is going on yet?

I hope things get better for you, whatever that looks like!

[Anonymous]

I don't really understand why you think he would see, value or respect what you do and contribute when you don't see, value or respect what he does and contributes. In every post you minimize or dismiss everything he does for the family.

You are the SAHP so yes most of the childcare and domestic work falls on you - that is your contribution to the family. His is all the financial responsiblity and ensuring the families needs are met. Yours is the hands on help. That is a traditional family model and traditional gender roles.

Neither of you wants to form any kind of connection with the other or meet the others needs. You went outside the marriage and cheated. You are both resentful and reactive.

There is no moral highground for you here. You want something from him that you aren't willing to give him yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand why you think he would see, value or respect what you do and contribute when you don't see, value or respect what he does and contributes. In every post you minimize or dismiss everything he does for the family.

You are the SAHP so yes most of the childcare and domestic work falls on you - that is your contribution to the family. His is all the financial responsiblity and ensuring the families needs are met. Yours is the hands on help. That is a traditional family model and traditional gender roles.

Neither of you wants to form any kind of connection with the other or meet the others needs. You went outside the marriage and cheated. You are both resentful and reactive.

There is no moral highground for you here. You want something from him that you aren't willing to give him yourself.

OP here.

They are his kids, too. Should he not have a role in helping to raise his own kids because 1950s gender roles say he doesn't need to?

I have said numerous times before, that I want to contribute financially to our home but he will not allow me to do so.

He dismisses the idea time and time again because he says I won't make enough for it to be worth it and it will take away from me raising our kids.

I can appreciate the work to get the paychecks, but why does that absolve him from being a parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand why you think he would see, value or respect what you do and contribute when you don't see, value or respect what he does and contributes. In every post you minimize or dismiss everything he does for the family.

You are the SAHP so yes most of the childcare and domestic work falls on you - that is your contribution to the family. His is all the financial responsiblity and ensuring the families needs are met. Yours is the hands on help. That is a traditional family model and traditional gender roles.

Neither of you wants to form any kind of connection with the other or meet the others needs. You went outside the marriage and cheated. You are both resentful and reactive.

There is no moral highground for you here. You want something from him that you aren't willing to give him yourself.

OP here.

They are his kids, too. Should he not have a role in helping to raise his own kids because 1950s gender roles say he doesn't need to?

I have said numerous times before, that I want to contribute financially to our home but he will not allow me to do so.

He dismisses the idea time and time again because he says I won't make enough for it to be worth it and it will take away from me raising our kids.

I can appreciate the work to get the paychecks, but why does that absolve him from being a parent?

Sounds like you're in a 1950's marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand why you think he would see, value or respect what you do and contribute when you don't see, value or respect what he does and contributes. In every post you minimize or dismiss everything he does for the family.

You are the SAHP so yes most of the childcare and domestic work falls on you - that is your contribution to the family. His is all the financial responsiblity and ensuring the families needs are met. Yours is the hands on help. That is a traditional family model and traditional gender roles.

Neither of you wants to form any kind of connection with the other or meet the others needs. You went outside the marriage and cheated. You are both resentful and reactive.

There is no moral highground for you here. You want something from him that you aren't willing to give him yourself.

OP here.

They are his kids, too. Should he not have a role in helping to raise his own kids because 1950s gender roles say he doesn't need to?

I have said numerous times before, that I want to contribute financially to our home but he will not allow me to do so.

He dismisses the idea time and time again because he says I won't make enough for it to be worth it and it will take away from me raising our kids.

I can appreciate the work to get the paychecks, but why does that absolve him from being a parent?

Sounds like you're in a 1950's marriage

OP here.

Yes, it seems like it, which is why I was asking the PP why he gets a pass on child rearing his own kids.

Yes, I am a SAHM but why even on the weekends I'm still shouldering everything child related? The man doesn't even step up to make breakfast on the weekends so I can eat with the kids.

I always have to ask, and even then, he has to run out and do something like it's an emergency instead of helping me.

He doesn't believe in feeding our kids before he has his coffee/he's satisfied.

If I wait to get the kids going and he finally comes around, he doesn't know what to do and still has to ask me.

It's utterly exhausting. So I just end up continuing to do everything myself, even on the weekends.

Why.. why..