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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Please give it to me straight"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Surely your kids will be in school soon. I never quite understand people who say they do everything but they don’t work. Someone has to pay for housing and keep a roof over everyone’s head, someone has to pay for food and keep everyone fed, someone has to pay for clothes and necessities - these are absolutely essential responsibilities of parenting. Typically also someone pays for transportation / cars, extra curricular a, vacations, savings, emergency funds, college funds etc. all of this is part of parenting too. Life and being a parent costs money. There are a lot of financial responsibilities involved in being a parent. So if you aren’t working, then someone else is taking on a huge chunk of parenting responsibility for the kids and for you as an adult. So no, you don’t do 100%. There is a big piece of being an adult and a parent that you contribute 0% towards and the fact that you don’t think that is part of parenting just shows an entitlement. You don’t value or appreciate what your husband contributes to parenting and the family but you expect him to value you. You have an affair and deny him a sexual relationship. I don’t get how you think you treat him any better than he treats you. Sounds like you have both created a dynamic of disrespect and lack of appreciation. [/quote] OP here. Yes, we both don't have respect for one another, this is very true. But I really do have all of the parenting on my shoulders. Even he would agree with me on that. No, I don't make money, and that has been used against me multiple times but him. I've said over the years I want to work part-time but I am denied the ability to do so by him because he says it isn't worth it because I'll work too much and get too little money, and it will take away from me raising the kids. So he makes the money and mows the grass, while I do everything else. I don't know. Seems unbalanced to me but maybe I'm genuinely wrong.[/quote] Money can be a resource just like time. If he doesn't contribute financially to the household, then he is just making money, but if he is shouldering all the expenses of the family, that is a major parenting responsibility and he is doing a lot. He isn't just making money - he is spending 8-10 hours a day contributing to parenting responsibilities to keep the family safe and healthy and functioning. I think you are wrong to not see that he is also spending x number of hours a week working just as hard for the family as you do - just in a different but equally as important way.[/quote]
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