DH Bought a Gun

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, he brought home a gun safe and ammo safe with it. He told me immediately and didn’t try to hide he purchased it, and I didn’t realize how against it I felt until I saw it in my home. I told him to lock it up and discuss with our kids that they are not to touch it. He’s not irresponsible and I know wont leave it laying around.

Clearly he’s keeping it and he’ll do it safely, but I don’t like it. He is a hobby shooter and I know he enjoys it, I’ve just never seen a gun close up in person before.

Why don’t you suggest he keep it at the shooting range where he actually practices and uses it? If he’s so irresponsible to bring this home without discussing it I doubt he’s actually responsible enough to keep it safe - forever - and away from your kids. He sounds impulsive and selfish. Two great traits of men who kill their spouse in fits of rage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is horrible and downright dangerous. I was in this situation, but I said “either you live with your gun or you live with your wife/kids.”
His family member stored the gun for him. That marriage ended in divorce within a few years.
This should have been discussed with you. Please protect your children. ASAP.

Yep.

NP And how exactly will he live without kids? If they get a divorce, the kid will be 50-50. So this is not a deterrent. There are nuts out there who would value a weapon more than their spouse, but what you are saying does not make sense. It's an empty threat and he would know it.

Anti gun here. a) That would be better than living with a gun 100% of the time, and b) i'd fight 50/50 (but then, in my particular case, i'd win, not b/c of a gun)

NP: a) not really; he seems the more irresponsible of the two. Who know if he would be more lax wrt storage/etc, if she was not around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is horrible and downright dangerous. I was in this situation, but I said “either you live with your gun or you live with your wife/kids.”
His family member stored the gun for him. That marriage ended in divorce within a few years.
This should have been discussed with you. Please protect your children. ASAP.

Yep.

NP And how exactly will he live without kids? If they get a divorce, the kid will be 50-50. So this is not a deterrent. There are nuts out there who would value a weapon more than their spouse, but what you are saying does not make sense. It's an empty threat and he would know it.

If he actually divorced and took 50/50 over a GUN- instead of storing at the range or returning it or selling it - then hes probably not a great father and I’d fight tooth and nail for custody. He cares more about his gun than his family? He can f*** right off and we’d all be better off.

NP You can fight all you want, you would not get it (barring other relevant issues)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is horrible and downright dangerous. I was in this situation, but I said “either you live with your gun or you live with your wife/kids.”
His family member stored the gun for him. That marriage ended in divorce within a few years.
This should have been discussed with you. Please protect your children. ASAP.

Yep.

NP And how exactly will he live without kids? If they get a divorce, the kid will be 50-50. So this is not a deterrent. There are nuts out there who would value a weapon more than their spouse, but what you are saying does not make sense. It's an empty threat and he would know it.

If he actually divorced and took 50/50 over a GUN- instead of storing at the range or returning it or selling it - then hes probably not a great father and I’d fight tooth and nail for custody. He cares more about his gun than his family? He can f*** right off and we’d all be better off.

Couldn’t it be said that her attempts to control him demonstrate that she cares more about controlling him than her marriage?

Hah. You have no experience in family court. Restricting weapons in the home is very common as part of custody agreements.

PP Elaborate please.

[Anonymous]

Very disrespectful not to have come to an agreement about this before he just imposed it on you. Are other decisions made in this fashion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone bought a gun, without talking to me, into our family with young children, he would be sleeping on the street with his precious weapon. I am quite avidly anti gun and would not want this in my home.

Living with a hand gun owner makes you 7x more likely to be shot by your spouse. 84% of those victims are women. As for protection, no difference in homocides by strangers - living with a gun does not make you safer, and some studies showed gun owners actually more likely to be killed by strangers. Women are 50% more likely to die by suicide than gun-free neighbours and are 4x more likely to die by suicide from gun.

No thank you.

Learn the difference between correlation and causation.

Bad/stupid people in general are more likely to own guns. This doesn’t mean that guns are making people bad, they already had issues to begin with. Give an intelligent and responsible person a gun and they won’t become any more dangerous than without one.

[Anonymous]

no less dangerous than a kitchen knife. Actually knives are more deadly within 20 ft.
Gun does need to be in the safe and he can get a barrel lock as well for extra safety. If/when kids show interest you should be open to taking them to a gun instructor and having them trained properly in gun safety and operation. That will remove the excitement from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If someone bought a gun, without talking to me, into our family with young children, he would be sleeping on the street with his precious weapon. I am quite avidly anti gun and would not want this in my home.

Living with a hand gun owner makes you 7x more likely to be shot by your spouse. 84% of those victims are women. As for protection, no difference in homocides by strangers - living with a gun does not make you safer, and some studies showed gun owners actually more likely to be killed by strangers. Women are 50% more likely to die by suicide than gun-free neighbours and are 4x more likely to die by suicide from gun.

No thank you.

Learn the difference between correlation and causation.

Bad/stupid people in general are more likely to own guns. This doesn’t mean that guns are making people bad, they already had issues to begin with. Give an intelligent and responsible person a gun and they won’t become any more dangerous than without one.

So you’re saying OPs husband has issues and that’s why he decided to buy a gun? I don’t disagree, and this is extremely impulsive decision made with no thought to anyone else. Sounds bad/stupid I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:no less dangerous than a kitchen knife. Actually knives are more deadly within 20 ft.
Gun does need to be in the safe and he can get a barrel lock as well for extra safety. If/when kids show interest you should be open to taking them to a gun instructor and having them trained properly in gun safety and operation. That will remove the excitement from it.

Stats do not agree. Stop comparing guns to curling irons and knives, they are not equivalent levels of murder machine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:no less dangerous than a kitchen knife. Actually knives are more deadly within 20 ft.
Gun does need to be in the safe and he can get a barrel lock as well for extra safety. If/when kids show interest you should be open to taking them to a gun instructor and having them trained properly in gun safety and operation. That will remove the excitement from it.

This is all rational advice, which is completely contrary to what the harpies want. They want to project all kinds of issues not present in OP or the subsequent posts in order to recommend she divorce her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:no less dangerous than a kitchen knife. Actually knives are more deadly within 20 ft.
Gun does need to be in the safe and he can get a barrel lock as well for extra safety. If/when kids show interest you should be open to taking them to a gun instructor and having them trained properly in gun safety and operation. That will remove the excitement from it.

Unless kitchen knives killed 40,000 people last year, no, a gun is not as safe as a kitchen knife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no less dangerous than a kitchen knife. Actually knives are more deadly within 20 ft.
Gun does need to be in the safe and he can get a barrel lock as well for extra safety. If/when kids show interest you should be open to taking them to a gun instructor and having them trained properly in gun safety and operation. That will remove the excitement from it.

This is all rational advice, which is completely contrary to what the harpies want. They want to project all kinds of issues not present in OP or the subsequent posts in order to recommend she divorce her husband.

You just talking to yourself? Calling people “harpies” because they don’t want toddlers around guns is a new one, but says more about you than pps who want to keep their children away from the #1 killer of children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no less dangerous than a kitchen knife. Actually knives are more deadly within 20 ft.
Gun does need to be in the safe and he can get a barrel lock as well for extra safety. If/when kids show interest you should be open to taking them to a gun instructor and having them trained properly in gun safety and operation. That will remove the excitement from it.

This is all rational advice, which is completely contrary to what the harpies want. They want to project all kinds of issues not present in OP or the subsequent posts in order to recommend she divorce her husband.

You just talking to yourself? Calling people “harpies” because they don’t want toddlers around guns is a new one, but says more about you than pps who want to keep their children away from the #1 killer of children.

Please stop misleading others. The #1 cause of death of children is accidents (without reference to firearms).

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/child-health.htm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no less dangerous than a kitchen knife. Actually knives are more deadly within 20 ft.
Gun does need to be in the safe and he can get a barrel lock as well for extra safety. If/when kids show interest you should be open to taking them to a gun instructor and having them trained properly in gun safety and operation. That will remove the excitement from it.

This is all rational advice, which is completely contrary to what the harpies want. They want to project all kinds of issues not present in OP or the subsequent posts in order to recommend she divorce her husband.

You just talking to yourself? Calling people “harpies” because they don’t want toddlers around guns is a new one, but says more about you than pps who want to keep their children away from the #1 killer of children.

Please stop misleading others. The #1 cause of death of children is accidents (without reference to firearms).

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/child-health.htm

This doesn’t say what you think it does.

https://publichealth.jhu.edu/2024/guns-remain-leading-cause-of-death-for-children-and-teens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, he brought home a gun safe and ammo safe with it. He told me immediately and didn’t try to hide he purchased it, and I didn’t realize how against it I felt until I saw it in my home. I told him to lock it up and discuss with our kids that they are not to touch it. He’s not irresponsible and I know wont leave it laying around.

Clearly he’s keeping it and he’ll do it safely, but I don’t like it. He is a hobby shooter and I know he enjoys it, I’ve just never seen a gun close up in person before.

So... Your responsible adult partner brought something you don't like into the house, responsibly, and you just don't like it? And since it's a gun, you figured you'd get a bunch of liberal biddyhens up in arms about the "oh HELL no" factor of a gun, when, realistically, this is not any different than any other major purchase, save that you don't feel comfortable around guns?

OP, be a good partner and learn how to shoot. You'll be a lot more comfortable having the gun in the house, and a lot more useful in a bad scenario, and you'll get to spend some quality time with your spouse.

Unless you have some sort of "you must discuss purchases over $___ with me in advance" agreement, this is a non-issue. Deal with your gun phobia and educate yourself. You'll feel better.