Culture for Girls at Southern Schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid will be totally fine at Rice and Emory. That kind of culture isn’t predominant at either school. Duke is probably fine too. I knew a mechanical engineer from there and she was not a sorority girl at all, and she was so smart.

Private southern schools in the next two tiers down like Tulane SMU and UMiami should really be avoided. Whether in Greek or not, wealth and the display of wealth and the vibe that comes with all that definitely predominates those schools.
Find your safeties up north.

It’s always amusing that people in the DC area lust after the Ivy League because of the supposed “connections” with the rich that their kid can make there, but think wealthy southern schools should be avoided because of the wealth of the student bodies. These rich Southern schools are the best place to become connected with people who will help you be successful post college. It’s even funnier now that the Ivy League schools have done everything they can to isolate themselves from their rich & successful alumni. Studies that showed that poor kids benefitted more from attending Ivy League schools than lower ranked schools (and showed no such benefit for wealthier kids) were clear that it was the social connections they benefitted from, not the quality of the education. Historically, people didn’t want to go to Harvard to associate with other poor kids, however smart they may be. It’s now especially funny considering that Harvard (and others) have eliminated one major selling point for their university and in the process lowered their academic standards to do so.

Not from DC but it’s not That They are Wealthy it’s the tacky display of it that gives the ick. It’s Funny — that you don’t know or realize the difference.

This. Just look up the videos on TikTok. It is ridiculous and embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid will be totally fine at Rice and Emory. That kind of culture isn’t predominant at either school. Duke is probably fine too. I knew a mechanical engineer from there and she was not a sorority girl at all, and she was so smart.

Private southern schools in the next two tiers down like Tulane SMU and UMiami should really be avoided. Whether in Greek or not, wealth and the display of wealth and the vibe that comes with all that definitely predominates those schools.
Find your safeties up north.

It’s always amusing that people in the DC area lust after the Ivy League because of the supposed “connections” with the rich that their kid can make there, but think wealthy southern schools should be avoided because of the wealth of the student bodies. These rich Southern schools are the best place to become connected with people who will help you be successful post college. It’s even funnier now that the Ivy League schools have done everything they can to isolate themselves from their rich & successful alumni. Studies that showed that poor kids benefitted more from attending Ivy League schools than lower ranked schools (and showed no such benefit for wealthier kids) were clear that it was the social connections they benefitted from, not the quality of the education. Historically, people didn’t want to go to Harvard to associate with other poor kids, however smart they may be. It’s now especially funny considering that Harvard (and others) have eliminated one major selling point for their university and in the process lowered their academic standards to do so.

Not from DC but it’s not That They are Wealthy it’s the tacky display of it that gives the ick. It’s Funny — that you don’t know or realize the difference.

This. Just look up the videos on TikTok. It is ridiculous and embarrassing.

Yep, it’s gross and cringey.

[Anonymous]

My daughter has a couple of friends who went to the big southern schools. It's bizarre -- whether they are Greek or not, they always have brand new outfits for football game days, and they're getting blonder and blonder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think "southern culture" really exists any more. It's just a stereotype that DCUM loves to hate.

I feel sure that there are other female social groups at Vanderbilt besides "tall skinny blondes"...

DP. Are you kidding?

“Southern culture” is having a moment, and lives loud and proud at quite a few colleges.

—Lives in the south (reluctantly)

Not kidding at all. "The South" now has the same strip malls and chain stores as everywhere else, and most of the students in "southern" schools have the same attitudes as suburban NoVA kids. (Indeed, at UVA, many of the students ARE suburban NoVA kids.)

Among other things, the demographics of the South has profoundly changed, and "culture" is downstream from demographics.

Uh, you need to pay a visit to Ole Miss or Auburn or LSU. Trust me, it ain’t NOVA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hs senior dd and had similar questions and concerns. From my anecdotal research (speaking with current college students and parents), the social scene at many (but not all) of the top private and public schools is pretty cliquey and dominated by wealthy, attractive, popular kids - often from private/prep schools. You don't have to be blond, but it does help if you are wealthy and attractive. Even girls who are not 'dresssed up' often wear designer jewelry and accessories. Its kind of crazy. These kids have already identified each other on social media before arriving on campus. Duke and Vanderbilt for sure are like this. Rice no, bc no greek and student body is very different. Emory- not as bad. It's not a southern thing. It's a wealthy/private school thing. You don't have to he part of it, but it is good for kids to think about how they can see themselves having fun outside those groups if they prevail on campus. There are plenty of non greek and non girly girls at duke amd vandy, you just have to find your group. I think it's sad, but it's the reality these kids face.

It is a southern thing. No such culture at Yale, Harvard, even schools like Case Western, Skidmore, Tufts.

100% a Southern thing.

My kid (stereotypical wealthy, attractive popular kid) is at a NESCAC and was just talking about this subject. UNlike in HS there is no "cool crowd" and that kids who try to be "cool" are joked about as "not real people". There are athletic groups and some "lax bros" but overall she finds things much more chill. I think that the lack of a Greek system helps keep things in check.

DS is at a NESCAC and he says there are definitely strong cliques, and if you're not in one of them, you'll feel quite socially isolated.

I went to Hamilton and liked it, but yeah...it was cliquey as hell. You definitely knew who the cool kids were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hs senior dd and had similar questions and concerns. From my anecdotal research (speaking with current college students and parents), the social scene at many (but not all) of the top private and public schools is pretty cliquey and dominated by wealthy, attractive, popular kids - often from private/prep schools. You don't have to be blond, but it does help if you are wealthy and attractive. Even girls who are not 'dresssed up' often wear designer jewelry and accessories. Its kind of crazy. These kids have already identified each other on social media before arriving on campus. Duke and Vanderbilt for sure are like this. Rice no, bc no greek and student body is very different. Emory- not as bad. It's not a southern thing. It's a wealthy/private school thing. You don't have to he part of it, but it is good for kids to think about how they can see themselves having fun outside those groups if they prevail on campus. There are plenty of non greek and non girly girls at duke amd vandy, you just have to find your group. I think it's sad, but it's the reality these kids face.

It is a southern thing. No such culture at Yale, Harvard, even schools like Case Western, Skidmore, Tufts.

100% a Southern thing.

My kid (stereotypical wealthy, attractive popular kid) is at a NESCAC and was just talking about this subject. UNlike in HS there is no "cool crowd" and that kids who try to be "cool" are joked about as "not real people". There are athletic groups and some "lax bros" but overall she finds things much more chill. I think that the lack of a Greek system helps keep things in check.

This made me LOL. Your “stereotypically wealthy, attractive, popular kid” is part of a clique that describes students who don’t fit her mold as “not real people,” and she’s holding her school out as socially preferable to a school with a Greek system? You do realize the students who “try to be ‘cool’” just happen to *not* be “stereotypically wealthy [and] attractive?” Stunning lack of self-awareness. As others here have noted, the presence or absence of a Greek system does not dictate how friendly and inclusive the social life on campus will be. As your anecdote proves, the rich kids will usually find a way to congregate and exclude others.

Wow, that went right over your head.

You could not tell her from any other kid on campus and that is the point and dominant vibe. Those who persist in trying to maintain the prep school behavior that so many grew up in are those held out as "not real people" which seems to be their current term for pretentious.

You might want to check the mirror regarding self-awareness. It's lacking in your case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hs senior dd and had similar questions and concerns. From my anecdotal research (speaking with current college students and parents), the social scene at many (but not all) of the top private and public schools is pretty cliquey and dominated by wealthy, attractive, popular kids - often from private/prep schools. You don't have to be blond, but it does help if you are wealthy and attractive. Even girls who are not 'dresssed up' often wear designer jewelry and accessories. Its kind of crazy. These kids have already identified each other on social media before arriving on campus. Duke and Vanderbilt for sure are like this. Rice no, bc no greek and student body is very different. Emory- not as bad. It's not a southern thing. It's a wealthy/private school thing. You don't have to he part of it, but it is good for kids to think about how they can see themselves having fun outside those groups if they prevail on campus. There are plenty of non greek and non girly girls at duke amd vandy, you just have to find your group. I think it's sad, but it's the reality these kids face.

It is a southern thing. No such culture at Yale, Harvard, even schools like Case Western, Skidmore, Tufts.

100% a Southern thing.

My kid (stereotypical wealthy, attractive popular kid) is at a NESCAC and was just talking about this subject. UNlike in HS there is no "cool crowd" and that kids who try to be "cool" are joked about as "not real people". There are athletic groups and some "lax bros" but overall she finds things much more chill. I think that the lack of a Greek system helps keep things in check.

DS is at a NESCAC and he says there are definitely strong cliques, and if you're not in one of them, you'll feel quite socially isolated.

It would not surprise me though in the case of my daughter she doesn't feel that vibe at her NESCAC. Her friend group is wide with kids from very different socioeconomic means and it is a mix of athletes and non-athletes. The athletes do spend more time with other athletes than the wider group but they seem to mix a lot more relative to what I have heard about regarding other NESCACs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid will be totally fine at Rice and Emory. That kind of culture isn’t predominant at either school. Duke is probably fine too. I knew a mechanical engineer from there and she was not a sorority girl at all, and she was so smart.

Private southern schools in the next two tiers down like Tulane SMU and UMiami should really be avoided. Whether in Greek or not, wealth and the display of wealth and the vibe that comes with all that definitely predominates those schools.
Find your safeties up north.

It’s always amusing that people in the DC area lust after the Ivy League because of the supposed “connections” with the rich that their kid can make there, but think wealthy southern schools should be avoided because of the wealth of the student bodies. These rich Southern schools are the best place to become connected with people who will help you be successful post college. It’s even funnier now that the Ivy League schools have done everything they can to isolate themselves from their rich & successful alumni. Studies that showed that poor kids benefitted more from attending Ivy League schools than lower ranked schools (and showed no such benefit for wealthier kids) were clear that it was the social connections they benefitted from, not the quality of the education. Historically, people didn’t want to go to Harvard to associate with other poor kids, however smart they may be. It’s now especially funny considering that Harvard (and others) have eliminated one major selling point for their university and in the process lowered their academic standards to do so.

Huh? Average SAT at Harvard for last year's class is 1550 with 83% submitting...nearly all have 4.0 in HS.

How is that a "low" academic standard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid will be totally fine at Rice and Emory. That kind of culture isn’t predominant at either school. Duke is probably fine too. I knew a mechanical engineer from there and she was not a sorority girl at all, and she was so smart.

Private southern schools in the next two tiers down like Tulane SMU and UMiami should really be avoided. Whether in Greek or not, wealth and the display of wealth and the vibe that comes with all that definitely predominates those schools.
Find your safeties up north.

It’s always amusing that people in the DC area lust after the Ivy League because of the supposed “connections” with the rich that their kid can make there, but think wealthy southern schools should be avoided because of the wealth of the student bodies. These rich Southern schools are the best place to become connected with people who will help you be successful post college. It’s even funnier now that the Ivy League schools have done everything they can to isolate themselves from their rich & successful alumni. Studies that showed that poor kids benefitted more from attending Ivy League schools than lower ranked schools (and showed no such benefit for wealthier kids) were clear that it was the social connections they benefitted from, not the quality of the education. Historically, people didn’t want to go to Harvard to associate with other poor kids, however smart they may be. It’s now especially funny considering that Harvard (and others) have eliminated one major selling point for their university and in the process lowered their academic standards to do so.

Huh? Average SAT at Harvard for last year's class is 1550 with 83% submitting...nearly all have 4.0 in HS.

How is that a "low" academic standard?

It's low because someone's 1580 SAT Asian kid didn't get in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think "southern culture" really exists any more. It's just a stereotype that DCUM loves to hate.

I feel sure that there are other female social groups at Vanderbilt besides "tall skinny blondes"...

DP. Are you kidding?

“Southern culture” is having a moment, and lives loud and proud at quite a few colleges.

—Lives in the south (reluctantly)

Not kidding at all. "The South" now has the same strip malls and chain stores as everywhere else, and most of the students in "southern" schools have the same attitudes as suburban NoVA kids. (Indeed, at UVA, many of the students ARE suburban NoVA kids.)

Among other things, the demographics of the South has profoundly changed, and "culture" is downstream from demographics.

Tell us you're not from the South without telling us you're not from the South. IYKYK, and you, sadly, don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hs senior dd and had similar questions and concerns. From my anecdotal research (speaking with current college students and parents), the social scene at many (but not all) of the top private and public schools is pretty cliquey and dominated by wealthy, attractive, popular kids - often from private/prep schools. You don't have to be blond, but it does help if you are wealthy and attractive. Even girls who are not 'dresssed up' often wear designer jewelry and accessories. Its kind of crazy. These kids have already identified each other on social media before arriving on campus. Duke and Vanderbilt for sure are like this. Rice no, bc no greek and student body is very different. Emory- not as bad. It's not a southern thing. It's a wealthy/private school thing. You don't have to he part of it, but it is good for kids to think about how they can see themselves having fun outside those groups if they prevail on campus. There are plenty of non greek and non girly girls at duke amd vandy, you just have to find your group. I think it's sad, but it's the reality these kids face.

It is a southern thing. No such culture at Yale, Harvard, even schools like Case Western, Skidmore, Tufts.

100% a Southern thing.

My kid (stereotypical wealthy, attractive popular kid) is at a NESCAC and was just talking about this subject. UNlike in HS there is no "cool crowd" and that kids who try to be "cool" are joked about as "not real people". There are athletic groups and some "lax bros" but overall she finds things much more chill. I think that the lack of a Greek system helps keep things in check.

This made me LOL. Your “stereotypically wealthy, attractive, popular kid” is part of a clique that describes students who don’t fit her mold as “not real people,” and she’s holding her school out as socially preferable to a school with a Greek system? You do realize the students who “try to be ‘cool’” just happen to *not* be “stereotypically wealthy [and] attractive?” Stunning lack of self-awareness. As others here have noted, the presence or absence of a Greek system does not dictate how friendly and inclusive the social life on campus will be. As your anecdote proves, the rich kids will usually find a way to congregate and exclude others.

Speaking on University of Michigan, this is definitely the case. It's a large school with all kinds of people and anyone can find their niche, but yeah...the wealthy kids (esp. those from the coasts) definitely found each other and had their own little social word. Not a lot of mixing between the kids from Scarsdale and the kids from Cheboygan, let's just put it that way. Or even the kids from Scarsdale and the kids from Birmingham (nice suburb of Detroit).

[Anonymous]

SEC schools are extremely popular now and this trend will continue. Lots of Northeast and Midwest kids want to dress up and socialize with friends at fun football tailgates. Don’t see the appeal of campus protests at schools located in unattractive locations. Duke has a distinct vibe very athletic and fun seeking kids glad it’s not Rice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She needs to go to college in a major city. LA, Boston, NY.

All the girls at the SEC schools we toured seemed really, really happy, even the ones that dod not look like a stereotypical 'Bama sorority rush poster.

If she liked the southern university, let her apply and see what happens. She might meet some really kind, happy, interesting friends at those places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SEC schools are extremely popular now and this trend will continue. Lots of Northeast and Midwest kids want to dress up and socialize with friends at fun football tailgates. Don’t see the appeal of campus protests at schools located in unattractive locations. Duke has a distinct vibe very athletic and fun seeking kids glad it’s not Rice.

This.

You are only young once. You should enjoy your college experience instead of spending it trying to make it through a firewall of angry protesters when just trying to get to you calculus final.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid will be totally fine at Rice and Emory. That kind of culture isn’t predominant at either school. Duke is probably fine too. I knew a mechanical engineer from there and she was not a sorority girl at all, and she was so smart.

Private southern schools in the next two tiers down like Tulane SMU and UMiami should really be avoided. Whether in Greek or not, wealth and the display of wealth and the vibe that comes with all that definitely predominates those schools.
Find your safeties up north.

It’s always amusing that people in the DC area lust after the Ivy League because of the supposed “connections” with the rich that their kid can make there, but think wealthy southern schools should be avoided because of the wealth of the student bodies. These rich Southern schools are the best place to become connected with people who will help you be successful post college. It’s even funnier now that the Ivy League schools have done everything they can to isolate themselves from their rich & successful alumni. Studies that showed that poor kids benefitted more from attending Ivy League schools than lower ranked schools (and showed no such benefit for wealthier kids) were clear that it was the social connections they benefitted from, not the quality of the education. Historically, people didn’t want to go to Harvard to associate with other poor kids, however smart they may be. It’s now especially funny considering that Harvard (and others) have eliminated one major selling point for their university and in the process lowered their academic standards to do so.

Huh? Average SAT at Harvard for last year's class is 1550 with 83% submitting...nearly all have 4.0 in HS.

How is that a "low" academic standard?

Isn't harvard still test optional?

There are lots of low scores at the test optional schools. The scores look high because the only people submitting at test optional schools are the ones over 1500.