Culture for Girls at Southern Schools

[Anonymous]

heavy sorority culture

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a string about Vanderbilt and how the girls at Vanderbilt, like a lot of schools in the south, dress up for sorority rush and other social events and that may not be the right setting for every girl. I'm not trying to bash Vanderbilt; I just found this article illuminating:

https://vanderbilthustler.com/2019/01/13/our-campus-culture-pressures-women-into-unhealthy-relationships-with-food-and-their-bodies/

I have a junior daughter who is interested in Duke, Emory, Rice and possibly Vanderbilt. Do all of these schools also have that type of school culture around girls and appearances?

We are Asian American and my daughter has been sad to not "fit in" with the popular girls at her high school, many of whom are tall, blond, skinny, etc. so I would like - if possible - to steer her away from that culture for college.

I have a daughter who’s a junior and loves a big, spirited “rah-rah” school—and she’ll most likely rush. But even she finds the intense southern Greek life culture a little off-putting, especially the way it's portrayed all over TikTok. The whole Bama RushTok craze was huge a couple years ago, but now it seems like there’s a bit of a cringe factor to it among teens. She’s leaning toward schools that feel a bit more diverse and balanced overall.

Alabama is nothing like Rice or Duke or Emory though.

[Anonymous]

The whole Bama RushTok craze was huge a couple years ago,

I have to say I never understood why those videos were "good advertising" (ie, made girls want to join) but they must have worked. I just don't have a mental model for anyone who thinks "wow that's great, I want to be part of it."

[Anonymous]

Someone said no UVA. My first year at UVA has a very diverse bunch of friends. It’s a big school; lots of different types of people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hs senior dd and had similar questions and concerns. From my anecdotal research (speaking with current college students and parents), the social scene at many (but not all) of the top private and public schools is pretty cliquey and dominated by wealthy, attractive, popular kids - often from private/prep schools. You don't have to be blond, but it does help if you are wealthy and attractive. Even girls who are not 'dresssed up' often wear designer jewelry and accessories. Its kind of crazy. These kids have already identified each other on social media before arriving on campus. Duke and Vanderbilt for sure are like this. Rice no, bc no greek and student body is very different. Emory- not as bad. It's not a southern thing. It's a wealthy/private school thing. You don't have to he part of it, but it is good for kids to think about how they can see themselves having fun outside those groups if they prevail on campus. There are plenty of non greek and non girly girls at duke amd vandy, you just have to find your group. I think it's sad, but it's the reality these kids face.

It is a southern thing. No such culture at Yale, Harvard, even schools like Case Western, Skidmore, Tufts.

These are all very different schools. But there is very much a rich private high school clique at many schools - including Yale and Skidmore. I do think that's a better lense through which to look at things rather than tired southern tropes.

That being said, Vanderbilt has really tried to crush the Greek system in recent years. I believe it's less than 20 percent of students at this point. But it does exist. It's there if you want it, but most students don't and have a perfectly happy four years. I think Duke is somewhat similar. Both Duke and Vanderbilt are a lot more academic than people seem to believe. And both are very comfortable schools for Asian-Americans.

And Rice even more so. There is no Greek system. Like Yale, they have residential colleges and that tends to create a sense of community. And Rice students tend to be genuine brainiacs. It's a very comfortable space for smart people. And the percentage of Asian-American students is very high.

But obviously someone's experience at Alabama, LSU, Tennessee etc is going to be completely different. But the social dynamics at schools like Duke, Rice, Vanderbilt, and Emory aren't really that different from any top 25 school. Actually, I'd think that socially Penn, Harvard, and Princeton are far more stressful than the southern schools today, including Vanderbilt.

[Anonymous]

Your kid will be totally fine at Rice and Emory. That kind of culture isn’t predominant at either school. Duke is probably fine too. I knew a mechanical engineer from there and she was not a sorority girl at all, and she was so smart.

Private southern schools in the next two tiers down like Tulane SMU and UMiami should really be avoided. Whether in Greek or not, wealth and the display of wealth and the vibe that comes with all that definitely predominates those schools.
Find your safeties up north.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She will be fine at Duke, many are not like that. Vanderbilt has changed a lot but is still more into looks/greek than Duke.
Both of those schools have a good percentage of Asians (Wasian mom of Duke 2026) and are not really southern culture, they have too many nerdy types(meant as a compliment).
Ivies have more asians than D and V and have no slight southern flare, but can still have some clicky girl groups. Same with Chicago.
UNC is NOT going to be a fit. UVa and Wake will not work either. Fully avoid SMU UGA AUBurn et al.
Look at William and Mary! Not as intellectually vibey as Duke but is much closer to it than big publics.

Vanderbilt is 18% Asian, which is the same percentage Asian as Princeton and Brown and a higher percentage than Cornell and Yale. You didn’t mention Rice which has 30% Asian, more Asian kids than any Ivy except Harvard. Southern schools of this caliber are very diverse.

[Anonymous]

Duke culture is top academics and athletics let the nerds go Ivy.

[Anonymous]

Just ignore greek life, easy to do esp at large state schools. Its mostly just a$$holes sniffling blow, spreading stds and spending parents' money like no tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a string about Vanderbilt and how the girls at Vanderbilt, like a lot of schools in the south, dress up for sorority rush and other social events and that may not be the right setting for every girl. I'm not trying to bash Vanderbilt; I just found this article illuminating:

https://vanderbilthustler.com/2019/01/13/our-campus-culture-pressures-women-into-unhealthy-relationships-with-food-and-their-bodies/

I have a junior daughter who is interested in Duke, Emory, Rice and possibly Vanderbilt. Do all of these schools also have that type of school culture around girls and appearances?

We are Asian American and my daughter has been sad to not "fit in" with the popular girls at her high school, many of whom are tall, blond, skinny, etc. so I would like - if possible - to steer her away from that culture for college.

Rice is super nerdy and lots of Asians. Not the southern stereotype at all, no Greek life, very woke.
Emory is also pretty nerdy, quirky kids, it has Greek life but it’s not the stereotypical “southern” Greek vibes there.

Vandy and Duke are more sports centered schools and both have larger more robust Greek culture and probably will be more likely to find that kind of appearance focused vibes but they are also both very diverse schools w a lot of different types of kids. I think the vibes you’re describing w focus on appearance/clique ish/rush TikTok stuff is more what you get from big SEC schools like Alabama or Auburn that are much less selective and don’t have nearly as many nerdy types.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in NE, was in a sorority in college, and now live in south. It is absolutely a southern sorority thing. My kid at an Ivy certainly has very wealthy classmates, but that is now how they dress or move. You’d see it on where and how they travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a string about Vanderbilt and how the girls at Vanderbilt, like a lot of schools in the south, dress up for sorority rush and other social events and that may not be the right setting for every girl. I'm not trying to bash Vanderbilt; I just found this article illuminating:

https://vanderbilthustler.com/2019/01/13/our-campus-culture-pressures-women-into-unhealthy-relationships-with-food-and-their-bodies/

I have a junior daughter who is interested in Duke, Emory, Rice and possibly Vanderbilt. Do all of these schools also have that type of school culture around girls and appearances?

We are Asian American and my daughter has been sad to not "fit in" with the popular girls at her high school, many of whom are tall, blond, skinny, etc. so I would like - if possible - to steer her away from that culture for college.

An Asian girl definitely won't fit in that culture, however like most colleges, she'll find her proverbial "tribe" which will likely be majority Asian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone said no UVA. My first year at UVA has a very diverse bunch of friends. It’s a big school; lots of different types of people.

I went to UVA and simply did not rush. This was largely because my parents refused to pay the yearly dues and I couldn’t afford the cost of the dues + the clothes + a social life. I met lots of lovely people during my time there.

[Anonymous]

Look at Davidson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think "southern culture" really exists any more. It's just a stereotype that DCUM loves to hate.

I feel sure that there are other female social groups at Vanderbilt besides "tall skinny blondes"...

DP. Are you kidding?

“Southern culture” is having a moment, and lives loud and proud at quite a few colleges.

—Lives in the south (reluctantly)