Culture for Girls at Southern Schools

[Anonymous]

Easy—just don’t join a sorority. Those are big universities with many students who are not in the Greek world. You can go to a southern university and have a good experience without being part of that culture.

[Anonymous]

DD graduated from Rice recently. She LOVED it, and she is/was very social. It’s unfair to characterize all Rice students as “nerds.” True, they are smart: her best friend/roommate is getting her medical degree, she’s getting a PhD in psychology, and almost all of her other close friends are in graduate school or finance. They get together on a regular basis for mini-reunions all over the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore greek life, easy to do esp at large state schools. Its mostly just a$$holes sniffling blow, spreading stds and spending parents' money like no tomorrow.

Sorry you didn't get a bid.

[Anonymous]

NP. Echoing a few earlier posters. If Rice is appealing, she should absolutely look at W&M as a more accessible option. They were my antithesis-of-sorority-culture daughter’s two favorites; she found both Rice and W&M to be full of “friendly smart kids”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hs senior dd and had similar questions and concerns. From my anecdotal research (speaking with current college students and parents), the social scene at many (but not all) of the top private and public schools is pretty cliquey and dominated by wealthy, attractive, popular kids - often from private/prep schools. You don't have to be blond, but it does help if you are wealthy and attractive. Even girls who are not 'dresssed up' often wear designer jewelry and accessories. Its kind of crazy. These kids have already identified each other on social media before arriving on campus. Duke and Vanderbilt for sure are like this. Rice no, bc no greek and student body is very different. Emory- not as bad. It's not a southern thing. It's a wealthy/private school thing. You don't have to he part of it, but it is good for kids to think about how they can see themselves having fun outside those groups if they prevail on campus. There are plenty of non greek and non girly girls at duke amd vandy, you just have to find your group. I think it's sad, but it's the reality these kids face.

It is a southern thing. No such culture at Yale, Harvard, even schools like Case Western, Skidmore, Tufts.

100% a Southern thing.

My kid (stereotypical wealthy, attractive popular kid) is at a NESCAC and was just talking about this subject. UNlike in HS there is no "cool crowd" and that kids who try to be "cool" are joked about as "not real people". There are athletic groups and some "lax bros" but overall she finds things much more chill. I think that the lack of a Greek system helps keep things in check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In order of the number of sorority dimes on campus and their sway over the social scene:

Vanderbilt
Duke
Emory
Rice

Rice in particular has no Greek system and attracts a nerdier crowd, but it's VERY woke, and the Overton window of acceptable views on campus covers only the far left end of the political spectrum. I personally know of a pro-Israel Jewish student who had to finish his last semester online because he was being harassed by the pro-Hamas crowd to the point that it was impacting his education and mental health.

Agree with this, she will fit in well at either Emory or Rice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a string about Vanderbilt and how the girls at Vanderbilt, like a lot of schools in the south, dress up for sorority rush and other social events and that may not be the right setting for every girl. I'm not trying to bash Vanderbilt; I just found this article illuminating:

https://vanderbilthustler.com/2019/01/13/our-campus-culture-pressures-women-into-unhealthy-relationships-with-food-and-their-bodies/

I have a junior daughter who is interested in Duke, Emory, Rice and possibly Vanderbilt. Do all of these schools also have that type of school culture around girls and appearances?

We are Asian American and my daughter has been sad to not "fit in" with the popular girls at her high school, many of whom are tall, blond, skinny, etc. so I would like - if possible - to steer her away from that culture for college.

Of those 4, Duke might be the best fit. Plus they have large number of Asian American students. They have greek life but it isn't anything like SEC schools like Vanderbilt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid will be totally fine at Rice and Emory. That kind of culture isn’t predominant at either school. Duke is probably fine too. I knew a mechanical engineer from there and she was not a sorority girl at all, and she was so smart.

Private southern schools in the next two tiers down like Tulane SMU and UMiami should really be avoided. Whether in Greek or not, wealth and the display of wealth and the vibe that comes with all that definitely predominates those schools.
Find your safeties up north.

It’s always amusing that people in the DC area lust after the Ivy League because of the supposed “connections” with the rich that their kid can make there, but think wealthy southern schools should be avoided because of the wealth of the student bodies. These rich Southern schools are the best place to become connected with people who will help you be successful post college. It’s even funnier now that the Ivy League schools have done everything they can to isolate themselves from their rich & successful alumni. Studies that showed that poor kids benefitted more from attending Ivy League schools than lower ranked schools (and showed no such benefit for wealthier kids) were clear that it was the social connections they benefitted from, not the quality of the education. Historically, people didn’t want to go to Harvard to associate with other poor kids, however smart they may be. It’s now especially funny considering that Harvard (and others) have eliminated one major selling point for their university and in the process lowered their academic standards to do so.

[Anonymous]

Some of you can’t seem to comprehend that there actually are more than a few young people who don’t want to spend 4 years screeching into bullhorns & burning American flags.

[Anonymous]

I graduated from 2 SEC schools with the Greek culture you’re concerned about. Is your daughter planning to rush? If yes, she’s going to be subjected to the lifestyle. If no, she’s going to be like thousands of other girls who participate in their courses, clubs, and activities without worrying about what the sorority girls are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hs senior dd and had similar questions and concerns. From my anecdotal research (speaking with current college students and parents), the social scene at many (but not all) of the top private and public schools is pretty cliquey and dominated by wealthy, attractive, popular kids - often from private/prep schools. You don't have to be blond, but it does help if you are wealthy and attractive. Even girls who are not 'dresssed up' often wear designer jewelry and accessories. Its kind of crazy. These kids have already identified each other on social media before arriving on campus. Duke and Vanderbilt for sure are like this. Rice no, bc no greek and student body is very different. Emory- not as bad. It's not a southern thing. It's a wealthy/private school thing. You don't have to he part of it, but it is good for kids to think about how they can see themselves having fun outside those groups if they prevail on campus. There are plenty of non greek and non girly girls at duke amd vandy, you just have to find your group. I think it's sad, but it's the reality these kids face.

It is a southern thing. No such culture at Yale, Harvard, even schools like Case Western, Skidmore, Tufts.

100% a Southern thing.

My kid (stereotypical wealthy, attractive popular kid) is at a NESCAC and was just talking about this subject. UNlike in HS there is no "cool crowd" and that kids who try to be "cool" are joked about as "not real people". There are athletic groups and some "lax bros" but overall she finds things much more chill. I think that the lack of a Greek system helps keep things in check.

This made me LOL. Your “stereotypically wealthy, attractive, popular kid” is part of a clique that describes students who don’t fit her mold as “not real people,” and she’s holding her school out as socially preferable to a school with a Greek system? You do realize the students who “try to be ‘cool’” just happen to *not* be “stereotypically wealthy [and] attractive?” Stunning lack of self-awareness. As others here have noted, the presence or absence of a Greek system does not dictate how friendly and inclusive the social life on campus will be. As your anecdote proves, the rich kids will usually find a way to congregate and exclude others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid will be totally fine at Rice and Emory. That kind of culture isn’t predominant at either school. Duke is probably fine too. I knew a mechanical engineer from there and she was not a sorority girl at all, and she was so smart.

Private southern schools in the next two tiers down like Tulane SMU and UMiami should really be avoided. Whether in Greek or not, wealth and the display of wealth and the vibe that comes with all that definitely predominates those schools.
Find your safeties up north.

It’s always amusing that people in the DC area lust after the Ivy League because of the supposed “connections” with the rich that their kid can make there, but think wealthy southern schools should be avoided because of the wealth of the student bodies. These rich Southern schools are the best place to become connected with people who will help you be successful post college. It’s even funnier now that the Ivy League schools have done everything they can to isolate themselves from their rich & successful alumni. Studies that showed that poor kids benefitted more from attending Ivy League schools than lower ranked schools (and showed no such benefit for wealthier kids) were clear that it was the social connections they benefitted from, not the quality of the education. Historically, people didn’t want to go to Harvard to associate with other poor kids, however smart they may be. It’s now especially funny considering that Harvard (and others) have eliminated one major selling point for their university and in the process lowered their academic standards to do so.

Not from DC but it’s not That They are Wealthy it’s the tacky display of it that gives the ick. It’s Funny — that you don’t know or realize the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hs senior dd and had similar questions and concerns. From my anecdotal research (speaking with current college students and parents), the social scene at many (but not all) of the top private and public schools is pretty cliquey and dominated by wealthy, attractive, popular kids - often from private/prep schools. You don't have to be blond, but it does help if you are wealthy and attractive. Even girls who are not 'dresssed up' often wear designer jewelry and accessories. Its kind of crazy. These kids have already identified each other on social media before arriving on campus. Duke and Vanderbilt for sure are like this. Rice no, bc no greek and student body is very different. Emory- not as bad. It's not a southern thing. It's a wealthy/private school thing. You don't have to he part of it, but it is good for kids to think about how they can see themselves having fun outside those groups if they prevail on campus. There are plenty of non greek and non girly girls at duke amd vandy, you just have to find your group. I think it's sad, but it's the reality these kids face.

It is a southern thing. No such culture at Yale, Harvard, even schools like Case Western, Skidmore, Tufts.

100% a Southern thing.

My kid (stereotypical wealthy, attractive popular kid) is at a NESCAC and was just talking about this subject. UNlike in HS there is no "cool crowd" and that kids who try to be "cool" are joked about as "not real people". There are athletic groups and some "lax bros" but overall she finds things much more chill. I think that the lack of a Greek system helps keep things in check.

DS is at a NESCAC and he says there are definitely strong cliques, and if you're not in one of them, you'll feel quite socially isolated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD graduated from Rice recently. She LOVED it, and she is/was very social. It’s unfair to characterize all Rice students as “nerds.” True, they are smart: her best friend/roommate is getting her medical degree, she’s getting a PhD in psychology, and almost all of her other close friends are in graduate school or finance. They get together on a regular basis for mini-reunions all over the country.

Awesome to hear this! Rice wasn't super high on my kid's list until she got in and we went to visit. She fell hard for it and will be going in a few months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think "southern culture" really exists any more. It's just a stereotype that DCUM loves to hate.

I feel sure that there are other female social groups at Vanderbilt besides "tall skinny blondes"...

DP. Are you kidding?

“Southern culture” is having a moment, and lives loud and proud at quite a few colleges.

—Lives in the south (reluctantly)

Not kidding at all. "The South" now has the same strip malls and chain stores as everywhere else, and most of the students in "southern" schools have the same attitudes as suburban NoVA kids. (Indeed, at UVA, many of the students ARE suburban NoVA kids.)

Among other things, the demographics of the South has profoundly changed, and "culture" is downstream from demographics.