Culture for Girls at Southern Schools

[Anonymous]

There was a string about Vanderbilt and how the girls at Vanderbilt, like a lot of schools in the south, dress up for sorority rush and other social events and that may not be the right setting for every girl. I'm not trying to bash Vanderbilt; I just found this article illuminating:

https://vanderbilthustler.com/2019/01/13/our-campus-culture-pressures-women-into-unhealthy-relationships-with-food-and-their-bodies/

I have a junior daughter who is interested in Duke, Emory, Rice and possibly Vanderbilt. Do all of these schools also have that type of school culture around girls and appearances?

We are Asian American and my daughter has been sad to not "fit in" with the popular girls at her high school, many of whom are tall, blond, skinny, etc. so I would like - if possible - to steer her away from that culture for college.

[Anonymous]

She needs to go to college in a major city. LA, Boston, NY.

[Anonymous]

My kid is not into this scene at all. We toured UNC and Rice and she decided UNC was not for her. Rice is a different vibe altogether. No frats, very chill vibe. YMMV

[Anonymous]

Couldn't they think of a better name than The Vanderbilt Hustler ? !!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She needs to go to college in a major city. LA, Boston, NY.

Bullshit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a string about Vanderbilt and how the girls at Vanderbilt, like a lot of schools in the south, dress up for sorority rush and other social events and that may not be the right setting for every girl. I'm not trying to bash Vanderbilt; I just found this article illuminating:

https://vanderbilthustler.com/2019/01/13/our-campus-culture-pressures-women-into-unhealthy-relationships-with-food-and-their-bodies/

I have a junior daughter who is interested in Duke, Emory, Rice and possibly Vanderbilt. Do all of these schools also have that type of school culture around girls and appearances?

We are Asian American and my daughter has been sad to not "fit in" with the popular girls at her high school, many of whom are tall, blond, skinny, etc. so I would like - if possible - to steer her away from that culture for college.

I have a daughter who’s a junior and loves a big, spirited “rah-rah” school—and she’ll most likely rush. But even she finds the intense southern Greek life culture a little off-putting, especially the way it's portrayed all over TikTok. The whole Bama RushTok craze was huge a couple years ago, but now it seems like there’s a bit of a cringe factor to it among teens. She’s leaning toward schools that feel a bit more diverse and balanced overall.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter would do fine at Rice, very chill intellectual vibe. The kids are there to study not party or rush. And Houston is a very diverse. But she'll need grades to be accepted.

[Anonymous]

I have a hs senior dd and had similar questions and concerns. From my anecdotal research (speaking with current college students and parents), the social scene at many (but not all) of the top private and public schools is pretty cliquey and dominated by wealthy, attractive, popular kids - often from private/prep schools. You don't have to be blond, but it does help if you are wealthy and attractive. Even girls who are not 'dresssed up' often wear designer jewelry and accessories. Its kind of crazy. These kids have already identified each other on social media before arriving on campus. Duke and Vanderbilt for sure are like this. Rice no, bc no greek and student body is very different. Emory- not as bad. It's not a southern thing. It's a wealthy/private school thing. You don't have to he part of it, but it is good for kids to think about how they can see themselves having fun outside those groups if they prevail on campus. There are plenty of non greek and non girly girls at duke amd vandy, you just have to find your group. I think it's sad, but it's the reality these kids face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a hs senior dd and had similar questions and concerns. From my anecdotal research (speaking with current college students and parents), the social scene at many (but not all) of the top private and public schools is pretty cliquey and dominated by wealthy, attractive, popular kids - often from private/prep schools. You don't have to be blond, but it does help if you are wealthy and attractive. Even girls who are not 'dresssed up' often wear designer jewelry and accessories. Its kind of crazy. These kids have already identified each other on social media before arriving on campus. Duke and Vanderbilt for sure are like this. Rice no, bc no greek and student body is very different. Emory- not as bad. It's not a southern thing. It's a wealthy/private school thing. You don't have to he part of it, but it is good for kids to think about how they can see themselves having fun outside those groups if they prevail on campus. There are plenty of non greek and non girly girls at duke amd vandy, you just have to find your group. I think it's sad, but it's the reality these kids face.

It is a southern thing. No such culture at Yale, Harvard, even schools like Case Western, Skidmore, Tufts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hs senior dd and had similar questions and concerns. From my anecdotal research (speaking with current college students and parents), the social scene at many (but not all) of the top private and public schools is pretty cliquey and dominated by wealthy, attractive, popular kids - often from private/prep schools. You don't have to be blond, but it does help if you are wealthy and attractive. Even girls who are not 'dresssed up' often wear designer jewelry and accessories. Its kind of crazy. These kids have already identified each other on social media before arriving on campus. Duke and Vanderbilt for sure are like this. Rice no, bc no greek and student body is very different. Emory- not as bad. It's not a southern thing. It's a wealthy/private school thing. You don't have to he part of it, but it is good for kids to think about how they can see themselves having fun outside those groups if they prevail on campus. There are plenty of non greek and non girly girls at duke amd vandy, you just have to find your group. I think it's sad, but it's the reality these kids face.

It is a southern thing. No such culture at Yale, Harvard, even schools like Case Western, Skidmore, Tufts.

Agree with this. There's a reason for the stereotype that it's a southern thing. It's because it is.

[Anonymous]

In order of the number of sorority dimes on campus and their sway over the social scene:

Vanderbilt
Duke
Emory
Rice

Rice in particular has no Greek system and attracts a nerdier crowd, but it's VERY woke, and the Overton window of acceptable views on campus covers only the far left end of the political spectrum. I personally know of a pro-Israel Jewish student who had to finish his last semester online because he was being harassed by the pro-Hamas crowd to the point that it was impacting his education and mental health.

[Anonymous]

She will be fine at Duke, many are not like that. Vanderbilt has changed a lot but is still more into looks/greek than Duke.
Both of those schools have a good percentage of Asians (Wasian mom of Duke 2026) and are not really southern culture, they have too many nerdy types(meant as a compliment).
Ivies have more asians than D and V and have no slight southern flare, but can still have some clicky girl groups. Same with Chicago.
UNC is NOT going to be a fit. UVa and Wake will not work either. Fully avoid SMU UGA AUBurn et al.
Look at William and Mary! Not as intellectually vibey as Duke but is much closer to it than big publics.

[Anonymous]

There’s always Wellesley, Smith, Barnard and Oberlin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hs senior dd and had similar questions and concerns. From my anecdotal research (speaking with current college students and parents), the social scene at many (but not all) of the top private and public schools is pretty cliquey and dominated by wealthy, attractive, popular kids - often from private/prep schools. You don't have to be blond, but it does help if you are wealthy and attractive. Even girls who are not 'dresssed up' often wear designer jewelry and accessories. Its kind of crazy. These kids have already identified each other on social media before arriving on campus. Duke and Vanderbilt for sure are like this. Rice no, bc no greek and student body is very different. Emory- not as bad. It's not a southern thing. It's a wealthy/private school thing. You don't have to he part of it, but it is good for kids to think about how they can see themselves having fun outside those groups if they prevail on campus. There are plenty of non greek and non girly girls at duke amd vandy, you just have to find your group. I think it's sad, but it's the reality these kids face.

It is a southern thing. No such culture at Yale, Harvard, even schools like Case Western, Skidmore, Tufts.

Agree with this. There's a reason for the stereotype that it's a southern thing. It's because it is.

Unless you’re from the south or went to a southern school you have no right or actual ability to make claims like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s always Wellesley, Smith, Barnard and Oberlin.

Which are polar opposites of Vanderbilt. I'm not saying OP's daughter wouldn't do well at any of these, but she seems to be looking for something in between a Barnard and a Vanderbilt.