Why do men rob you of your sparkle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today during therapy my therapist mentioned I’m very monotone and unemotional, and that I should work on expressing my happiness and emotion more.

I was reflecting back on why, because I wasn’t always like this, and I realized it’s from my xH. He was initially attracted to me because I was vibrant, outgoing, and fun to be around, but over the years he got so critical of what I wore, how I acted, how I spoke, etc that I just got rid of all personality altogether so he’d have nothing to be critical about.

I talked with some friends and I’m not alone in this. Most women have dated or been married to the guy who immediately tried to stomp out all their sparkle and personality.

Why are men like this? Why date someone who you’re just going to try to change into an emotionless, personality-devoid zombie?

She’s describing a flat affect, in other words you are depressed, get some meds and a new therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same reason why some women tear the heart out of a man, throw them on the ground and run them over with their vehicle.

Hah, hah. Why am I replaying that video in my head where the woman runs over her cheating husband with her car, then circles around the hotel round about, hits him again, then reverses backs over him and speeds off.

I think she was pissed because he stole get sparkle!

[Anonymous]

Maybe he knew how to work with auto-correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same reason why some women tear the heart out of a man, throw them on the ground and run them over with their vehicle.

Hah, hah. Why am I replaying that video in my head where the woman runs over her cheating husband with her car, then circles around the hotel round about, hits him again, then reverses backs over him and speeds off.

I think she was pissed because he stole get sparkle!

Not what I was thinking but… 🤷‍♂️

[Anonymous]

They do. I wish i could go back in time.i would have never got married. Before i smiled, had friends, did more things. I feel like a prisoner at home. Stifled, don't have joy or happiness anymore. Thinking its too late for me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You become muted and emotionless because they can handle life with anyone any other way. So they train you to be quiet, not sparkle, leave them alone unless convenient for them and their mood at the time. And if you do start talking or sharing or caring when they are not, they ignore, lash out, walk away, put you down. Rinse and repeat.

You described my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've got to learn to be your own person, OP, and stop blaming others.

I've had marital problems too (my spouse of 20 years has ADHD and ASD), but I don't let him sap the joy out of my existence.

How????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop blaming your husband for something you did to yourself.

OP. This is less “omg my xH sucks” and more “WHY do men like him feel the need to tear someone down until there’s nothing left?”

A man didn’t do this to you though, you did it to yourself. It’s hard to hear but it’s true.

Stop with this. You obviously have no idea what some women go through and no it’s not their own fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop blaming your husband for something you did to yourself.

OP. This is less “omg my xH sucks” and more “WHY do men like him feel the need to tear someone down until there’s nothing left?”

A man didn’t do this to you though, you did it to yourself. It’s hard to hear but it’s true.

Stop with this. You obviously have no idea what some women go through and no it’s not their own fault.

I remember the days when it was misogynistic to think women had no agency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop blaming your husband for something you did to yourself.

OP. This is less “omg my xH sucks” and more “WHY do men like him feel the need to tear someone down until there’s nothing left?”

A man didn’t do this to you though, you did it to yourself. It’s hard to hear but it’s true.

Stop with this. You obviously have no idea what some women go through and no it’s not their own fault.

I remember the days when it was misogynistic to think women had no agency.

You’re missing the point.

Obviously women should leave when men try to tear them down, and we should be teaching our daughters to do just that.

The question is WHY do men feel the need to tear their partners down in the first place? It’s like the quote PP posted earlier - why do they want an exotic bird to put in a cage?

It’s like these men who chase after party girls or IG models, and then demand they stop partying or posting bikini pics on IG. You knew who they were, that’s why you were attracted to them, why change them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop blaming your husband for something you did to yourself.

OP. This is less “omg my xH sucks” and more “WHY do men like him feel the need to tear someone down until there’s nothing left?”

A man didn’t do this to you though, you did it to yourself. It’s hard to hear but it’s true.

Stop with this. You obviously have no idea what some women go through and no it’s not their own fault.

I remember the days when it was misogynistic to think women had no agency.

You’re missing the point.

Obviously women should leave when men try to tear them down, and we should be teaching our daughters to do just that.

The question is WHY do men feel the need to tear their partners down in the first place? It’s like the quote PP posted earlier - why do they want an exotic bird to put in a cage?

It’s like these men who chase after party girls or IG models, and then demand they stop partying or posting bikini pics on IG. You knew who they were, that’s why you were attracted to them, why change them?

Do women ever try to change the men they married? Lol at the double standard

[Anonymous]

Let me sum up this thread. Women get angry and sad if you don't follow all their rules

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop blaming your husband for something you did to yourself.

OP. This is less “omg my xH sucks” and more “WHY do men like him feel the need to tear someone down until there’s nothing left?”

A man didn’t do this to you though, you did it to yourself. It’s hard to hear but it’s true.

Stop with this. You obviously have no idea what some women go through and no it’s not their own fault.

I remember the days when it was misogynistic to think women had no agency.

You’re missing the point.

Obviously women should leave when men try to tear them down, and we should be teaching our daughters to do just that.

The question is WHY do men feel the need to tear their partners down in the first place? It’s like the quote PP posted earlier - why do they want an exotic bird to put in a cage?

It’s like these men who chase after party girls or IG models, and then demand they stop partying or posting bikini pics on IG. You knew who they were, that’s why you were attracted to them, why change them?

No, it isn’t. It’s about women who can leave who don’t and blame someone else for that choice.

Why do you let your partner steal your power?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me sum up this thread. Women get angry and sad if you don't follow all their rules

People get angry and sad when someone who is supposed to love them and support them instead tries to control them. Would you like it if your partner tried to control and limit you?

Saying all men do xyz and all women are blahblahblah is just ignorant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You become muted and emotionless because they can handle life with anyone any other way. So they train you to be quiet, not sparkle, leave them alone unless convenient for them and their mood at the time. And if you do start talking or sharing or caring when they are not, they ignore, lash out, walk away, put you down. Rinse and repeat.

+1