How to deal with DC not going to a selective university socially

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly it's much harder socially in the DMV when your kid gets into a top school.

I had the rudest things said to me by fellow parents: "oh, what was her hook?" "oh, must be nice" all the way down to people implying that she cheated.

No, it’s not.

You don't get to negate our experience because it doesn't fit your argument. I've had 2 DMV kids go to college and it was far more tiresome to navigate the snark that came with the top5 admit. Everyone was just happy and neutral with the one who attends a top75 school.

No one has to go to a T5 school. If you really don’t like the way people respond to it, don’t let your kid go.

Kid is a junior in college so that ship has sailed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares. Since they aren’t your good friends just tell them to fuk off.

Or just say something like “yeah, we were happy to let DC go wherever he/she wanted after the massive windfall inheritance we received.” Then they’ll think you’ll super rich, there will be an element of mystery since you won’t elaborate and you state it so matter of factly, and they’ll be so focused on that they’ll forget all about colleges.

Omg, lol. I love this!

Gimme a break. This is so passive aggressive and cowardly, and actually feed into the notion that the school is inferior.

OP, if someone treats you like crap, call them out on it.

"Susan, do you really think that's a nice or appropriate thing to say? What gives you the idea that it's OK to ridicule the college another kid is going to? Does it make you feel good about yourself? To me, it just says that you have no manners or decency. Wherever my kid goes to college, I hope I have raised him to act better than you are. And I hope your kids have a better example to learn from than you."

[Anonymous]

Just be happy for your kid, tell anyone who asks that you’re excited for them, and move on. Ive got one kid at a school with a 5% acceptance rate and another choosing between his top picks with rates in the 60s. I’m seriously and genuinely equally as excited for him as I was for first kid.
TBH, I think you’re reading too much into people’s reactions. I’m pretty sure they aren’t thinking about where your kid is going to college for more than about two seconds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The moms I know are smug and deriding and make me feel like dirt because my DC is going to a school with a 60+ % acceptance rate. Does anyone have experience with how to handle this?

Their kids might be working for your kids one day.

[Anonymous]

OP - At face level, DC is in at a ~50% admit rate school, but the reality is it is more like 30% for OOS and smaller %age for honors in engineering.
It is a great fit for DC. Merit $ was a big factor for us, but the energy and happiness at the school, combined with good internships clinched their decision.

Could not be happier at the way things panned out. A T20 school would not be a fit. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that for any student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares. Since they aren’t your good friends just tell them to fuk off.

Or just say something like “yeah, we were happy to let DC go wherever he/she wanted after the massive windfall inheritance we received.” Then they’ll think you’ll super rich, there will be an element of mystery since you won’t elaborate and you state it so matter of factly, and they’ll be so focused on that they’ll forget all about colleges.

Omg, lol. I love this!

Gimme a break. This is so passive aggressive and cowardly, and actually feed into the notion that the school is inferior.

OP, if someone treats you like crap, call them out on it.

"Susan, do you really think that's a nice or appropriate thing to say? What gives you the idea that it's OK to ridicule the college another kid is going to? Does it make you feel good about yourself? To me, it just says that you have no manners or decency. Wherever my kid goes to college, I hope I have raised him to act better than you are. And I hope your kids have a better example to learn from than you."

Love it when posters throw in these bs lines. Dragging the other kids into their parents’s bad attitude under the cloak of faux concern.

Just go after the parent. Leave all the kids out of it.

[Anonymous]

This is not hard. If you say that your kid liked the less competitive school and college town, and wanted to get away from the uber-competitive atmosphere of X, that will satisfy the snobs fairly quickly. It’s a polite way of saying “they didn’t want to spend four years around people like you.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ALOT of kids cheated. So much cheating in high school. Makes it really hard for the honest ones.

This. Harvard, Yale, and Stanford have unleashed so many lying sociopaths who’ve done so much damage to our society, it’s a source of pride to me that my kids are at state flagships. They are too honest and have too much integrity for the Ivy League.

I am not joking.

Like Trump (Penn) and Vance (Yale Law)? Hegseth (Harvard Kennedy)? Don't fall for the propaganda you're being fed. Your R heroes all send their kids to Ivies, but they want your kids at state or religious schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ALOT of kids cheated. So much cheating in high school. Makes it really hard for the honest ones.

This. Harvard, Yale, and Stanford have unleashed so many lying sociopaths who’ve done so much damage to our society, it’s a source of pride to me that my kids are at state flagships. They are too honest and have too much integrity for the Ivy League.

I am not joking.

Like Trump (Penn) and Vance (Yale Law)? Hegseth (Harvard Kennedy)? Don't fall for the propaganda you're being fed. Your R heroes all send their kids to Ivies, but they want your kids at state or religious schools.

I have no R heroes. These schools have educated the worst Rs in an attempt to give everyone a voice - even when that voice is sociopathic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find new friends.

They aren't my close friends. They're neighbors, acquaintances, people at the gym, etc.

So spend less time with them and just come up with a quick quip if they say anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares. Since they aren’t your good friends just tell them to fuk off.

Or just say something like “yeah, we were happy to let DC go wherever he/she wanted after the massive windfall inheritance we received.” Then they’ll think you’ll super rich, there will be an element of mystery since you won’t elaborate and you state it so matter of factly, and they’ll be so focused on that they’ll forget all about colleges.

Omg, lol. I love this!

Gimme a break. This is so passive aggressive and cowardly, and actually feed into the notion that the school is inferior.

OP, if someone treats you like crap, call them out on it.

"Susan, do you really think that's a nice or appropriate thing to say? What gives you the idea that it's OK to ridicule the college another kid is going to? Does it make you feel good about yourself? To me, it just says that you have no manners or decency. Wherever my kid goes to college, I hope I have raised him to act better than you are. And I hope your kids have a better example to learn from than you."

It was actually pretty funny. Your response, on the other hand, sounds unhinged and defensive as hell. The other parents will probably walk away from it thinking OP is embarrassed of her kid since her reaction is so disproportionate.

[Anonymous]

OP - surely you have run into similar situations in the past with your kid - eg less selective high school, not the top sport team, not the most prestigious extra curricular? How do you handle those?

My student is at a private high school that is seen as less prestigious than others in our area, but is the best fit for him. When people ask about it, I rave about how it’s the best possible fit for him for XYZ reasons and how happy he is he gets to go there. I expect to do the same for college regardless of where he goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ALOT of kids cheated. So much cheating in high school. Makes it really hard for the honest ones.

This. Harvard, Yale, and Stanford have unleashed so many lying sociopaths who’ve done so much damage to our society, it’s a source of pride to me that my kids are at state flagships. They are too honest and have too much integrity for the Ivy League.

I am not joking.

Like Trump (Penn) and Vance (Yale Law)? Hegseth (Harvard Kennedy)? Don't fall for the propaganda you're being fed. Your R heroes all send their kids to Ivies, but they want your kids at state or religious schools.

I have no R heroes. These schools have educated the worst Rs in an attempt to give everyone a voice - even when that voice is sociopathic.

What? Makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ALOT of kids cheated. So much cheating in high school. Makes it really hard for the honest ones.

This. Harvard, Yale, and Stanford have unleashed so many lying sociopaths who’ve done so much damage to our society, it’s a source of pride to me that my kids are at state flagships. They are too honest and have too much integrity for the Ivy League.

I am not joking.

Like Trump (Penn) and Vance (Yale Law)? Hegseth (Harvard Kennedy)? Don't fall for the propaganda you're being fed. Your R heroes all send their kids to Ivies, but they want your kids at state or religious schools.

I have no R heroes. These schools have educated the worst Rs in an attempt to give everyone a voice - even when that voice is sociopathic.

What? Makes no sense.

Maybe you assume I’m a republican because I’m critical of the Ivy League schools? I’m a liberal child of professors who values higher education. Harvard, Yale, and Stanford have educated some of the most damaging sociopaths in our society. Yes, they have educated more liberals because education generally makes people more liberal, but in an attempt to be “balanced”, they also educated complete lunatics with anti-democracy agendas and even hired some professors who defend theocracy. They also, due to their impossibly fierce competition, attract sociopaths who will lie and cheat to get in. Then they spend their adult lives lying and cheating to achieve their pathological need for unlimited wealth and power. These are great schools that need to screen their applicants better and not hire or give tenure to, for example, a constitutional law professor who believes in theocracy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just be happy for your kid, tell anyone who asks that you’re excited for them, and move on. Ive got one kid at a school with a 5% acceptance rate and another choosing between his top picks with rates in the 60s. I’m seriously and genuinely equally as excited for him as I was for first kid.
TBH, I think you’re reading too much into people’s reactions. I’m pretty sure they aren’t thinking about where your kid is going to college for more than about two seconds.

You sound look a good parent, who probably has mentally healthy kids.