Asian Parents Broke Me

[Anonymous]

I am sure there are parents of all colors who push their kids in one thing or another.

However, this kid is a YouTube influencer and using his Asian angle to dub himself as victim for get views.

OP, your child could have sent you some better videos if he is trying to complain about his way of raising him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Push kids to get out of poverty? GTFOH. You are all umc

We're not UMC, but comfortable, but as I said, there's no generational wealth. How do you think people normally get out of poverty if they have no connections and come from a poor country?

My guess is that you actually are UMC. Is your household income over 200K?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He shouldn’t have started the video talking about the art and piano classes, they were weak examples. Thats normal parenting when you kids are interested in something. All the academic pressures and all free time being dedicated to getting ahead academically is messed up though.

I think you missed the point. He shared his experience with the art and piano classes to help viewers understand that he was never allowed to do something just for fun or to meet new friends with similar interests. Every single thing he did involved formal instruction and, most importantly, competitions. He was never allowed just to learn or develop new skills; he had to master everything he tried and then demonstrate that he was the best. It wasn’t enough to do well. He had to dominate the competition or feel like a disappointment to his parents. They sucked the joy out of everything — art, piano, school, even being successful. He was a puppet and they pulled the strings.

He admits that this kind of parenting often leads to high achievement and success, but he wants people to know that it doesn’t work for every child. It made him beyond stressed, to the point of physical illness. It prevented him from developing social skills through typical interactions with peers. He has no happy childhood memories. There’s no activity that he loves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Umm… what? You’re accusing me of being too dramatic while your point (being generous in characterizing it as such) is that my daughter tells me she likes piano, but she’s actually lying and secretly hates it?

Again, I actually am aware that my kids are real people and I talk to them about their lives, thoughts, feelings, etc. I have kids in high school, middle school, and elementary school, so forgive me if I don’t put too much stock in the advice of a bunch of toddler moms.

(Or the advice of moms who have adult children who resent them!)

OK. Congratulations on your perfect parenting and perfect kids. You clearly lack in understanding, but that's OK too. Your daughter may well like playing piano now. What she thinks of it in 15 years is another matter, she may still like she did it, she may not.

[Anonymous]

This kid needs to stop whining. There are way, way worse childhoods that happen all the time. Stop complaining, grow up, and choose to live a happy life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My guess is that you actually are UMC. Is your household income over 200K?

If so, then yes. We're 2 PhDs. Our kids don't want to get a PhD, said it takes too much time. They're right and they have other opportunities. For us, graduate degrees were the opportunity to get out, so we took it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This kid needs to stop whining. There are way, way worse childhoods that happen all the time. Stop complaining, grow up, and choose to live a happy life.

Of course there are way worse childhoods. I don't think the op meant that there weren't. But, the ops parents to their childhood for no reason, and they're upset about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Umm… what? You’re accusing me of being too dramatic while your point (being generous in characterizing it as such) is that my daughter tells me she likes piano, but she’s actually lying and secretly hates it?

Again, I actually am aware that my kids are real people and I talk to them about their lives, thoughts, feelings, etc. I have kids in high school, middle school, and elementary school, so forgive me if I don’t put too much stock in the advice of a bunch of toddler moms.

(Or the advice of moms who have adult children who resent them!)

OK. Congratulations on your perfect parenting and perfect kids. You clearly lack in understanding, but that's OK too. Your daughter may well like playing piano now. What she thinks of it in 15 years is another matter, she may still like she did it, she may not.

Ok. She likes it now, so she does it now. When she doesn’t like it anymore, she can stop doing it.

I don’t understand what point you think you’re making, and I don’t think you do, either…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Ok. She likes it now, so she does it now. When she doesn’t like it anymore, she can stop doing it.

I don’t understand what point you think you’re making, and I don’t think you do, either…

My point is that we often change our attitudes and likes over a time span once we gain perspective. It's very common. Do you like the same things you did when you were 15? I hope not. Humans like activities that they are good at. In order to get good at something, we need to practice. When prolonged practice does not result in positive outcomes, people tend to give up, which is normal. Often when you give up after prolonged practice you wonder if you could have spent your time doing something else -- like the kid in the video. You literally cannot know if you're good at something or not until you try. The mistake video-kid parents and the kid himself made was that they didn't realize (they should have, as gifted testing usually includes all this) that with an IQ of about 105 (he said above average) no matter how much you push you're not going to crack physics at college, where most kids are with an IQ of about 140.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This kid needs to stop whining. There are way, way worse childhoods that happen all the time. Stop complaining, grow up, and choose to live a happy life.

+1 It is high time this young adult learned some resilience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Ok. She likes it now, so she does it now. When she doesn’t like it anymore, she can stop doing it.

I don’t understand what point you think you’re making, and I don’t think you do, either…

My point is that we often change our attitudes and likes over a time span once we gain perspective. It's very common. Do you like the same things you did when you were 15? I hope not. Humans like activities that they are good at. In order to get good at something, we need to practice. When prolonged practice does not result in positive outcomes, people tend to give up, which is normal. Often when you give up after prolonged practice you wonder if you could have spent your time doing something else -- like the kid in the video. You literally cannot know if you're good at something or not until you try. The mistake video-kid parents and the kid himself made was that they didn't realize (they should have, as gifted testing usually includes all this) that with an IQ of about 105 (he said above average) no matter how much you push you're not going to crack physics at college, where most kids are with an IQ of about 140.

I mean… Duh?

What’s that got to do with the price of tea in China?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kid needs to stop whining. There are way, way worse childhoods that happen all the time. Stop complaining, grow up, and choose to live a happy life.

+1 It is high time this young adult learned some resilience.

How many people actually watched the full video?

Did everyone miss the part that his parents were also very abusive and beat him, that CPS was involved, and his mom got sent to a mental hospital?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did anyone watch the rest of his video? Agree this kid has issues, but I am not sure it can necessarily be blamed on his parents.

I had an Asian-American coworker who complained to us that he resents his parents. Didn't understand why they didn't push him enough and gave him free will to fail, and he had to learn the hard way. No joke.

Seems like parents just can't win.

+1 I said this up thread, and to my kids all the time. Parents are in a no-win situation. So, we just do the best we can even if they complain. My DC said I should've pushed them more and ignore the whining and complaining. Yep. can't win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kid needs to stop whining. There are way, way worse childhoods that happen all the time. Stop complaining, grow up, and choose to live a happy life.

+1 It is high time this young adult learned some resilience.

How many people actually watched the full video?

Did everyone miss the part that his parents were also very abusive and beat him, that CPS was involved, and his mom got sent to a mental hospital?

I think maybe that made the tiger parenting worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kid needs to stop whining. There are way, way worse childhoods that happen all the time. Stop complaining, grow up, and choose to live a happy life.

+1 It is high time this young adult learned some resilience.

How many people actually watched the full video?

Did everyone miss the part that his parents were also very abusive and beat him, that CPS was involved, and his mom got sent to a mental hospital?

Yes, I missed the bit about beating. I heard that he got CPS involved and that his mom spent time in a mental hospital. But what was the beating?