Son’s Suitemate Acting Erratically

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage your own kid. Ask to move rooms. Go that route.

This.

I get that he is bonded with his roommates and doesn't want to move out but if you think he isn't safe then the solution is that he moves. What do the parents of his roommate friends think>

I would do the same. I would get an Airbnb and tell my kid to stay there and offer to the other suitemates who would like to stay there till this gets resolved. I would not reveal the location of the Airbnb.

You should absolutely not have to pay for an Airbnb because the campus administration and campus police refuse to do their effing jobs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman son at a state university has an international suitemate from China who is acting erratically. He was taken away on a 72 hour hold a month ago for masturbating in the dorm lobby in broad daylight. He came back and the female RA caught him doing it again on Friday. She called campus cops who came by and said there was nothing they could do. The guy doesn’t speak good English and was relying on his Chinese-American roommate to translate. That roommate just moved out. I’m concerned, because a mentally-I’ll student who was expelled two years ago stabbed 2 people to death. I want the kid on a plane back to China. I wrote the dean of residential education and was basically blown off. I called campus police. The sergeant said the college has an adjudicating process, and I should trust it to work. Or I could have my son make a citizen’s arrest of the kid next time he exposes himself. I don’t want my son to capture this guy’s attention. He has already violated our state’s lewd conduct law, which should get his visa revoked. Should I call the town police? Report him to ICE? Call a journalist? I am concerned for my son’s safety and really did not envision this to be part of his freshman dorm experience.

This can't be real. This isn't the post of a normal person and I think we should ignore it.

OP here: I agree it is surreal which is why I’m posting here for help. Never in my wildest dreams did I think this would be my son’s experience.

New poster here
I've actually heard of this happening at several different college campuses (not necessarily international students.) It's disgusting and I think it's insane that more isn't being done about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This story rubs me the wrong way.

Well sounds like you ain't the only one doing some rubbing...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I just got off with the town police. They said it was out of their jurisdiction and offered to transfer me to campus police. I don’t have the emails of the parents because I didn’t want to be a helicopter mom. I wouldn’t know how to get them.

you're a troll.

college campuses are not like Vatican City. local police have total jurisdiction. campus cops can handle some things and admin can crack down on violations to policy (far below a legal line), but local police can step in whenever, wherever they want.

give me a break with your racist trolling

Good to know they can step in, but that’s not what the dispatcher said. They probably don’t want the hassle. I told him I was giving him a heads up on the situation in case they have to go in lockdown again. He was definitely writing stuff down.

okay then

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage your own kid. Ask to move rooms. Go that route.

This.

I get that he is bonded with his roommates and doesn't want to move out but if you think he isn't safe then the solution is that he moves. What do the parents of his roommate friends think>

I would do the same. I would get an Airbnb and tell my kid to stay there and offer to the other suitemates who would like to stay there till this gets resolved. I would not reveal the location of the Airbnb.

You should absolutely not have to pay for an Airbnb because the campus administration and campus police refuse to do their effing jobs!

Agreed, but it sounds like they're not doing anything about it, at least for now. I get it- they should be doing their jobs, but they're not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd really avoid the whole "put him on a plane" thing. that sounds racist AF.

And I'm not sure what's happening in the suite. Lots of kids live with extremely problematic suite mates. Kids who are up all night listening to music or are outwardly homophobic or racist to a gay or URM kid.

If I were you, I'd think locally. Get a text chain going with the other parents. Say, I'm worried FOR this kid. See if you can get a base of support .

I agree it “sounds” racist. But him not being a citizen, actually gives more leverage to do something about it. Soliciting a prostitute, indecent exposure, etc. actually can get your visa revoked. I’m exploring all options.

sorry, when I said it sounds racist, I was soft peddling. I think you're totally racist. but that doesn't mean you're not also a concerned mom.

there's a lot that people won't put up with - racists Karens are high on the list. ICE won't care. The school will listen to the students or, perhaps, a group of "concerned for this young man" parents. pretend you are concerned.

What loser, you must think everyone is racist and since the word is used so much it has diminished it's meaning.

[Anonymous]

DD had a friend freshman year whose roommate insisted on being naked in the dorm room all the time. The only way the friend could move out mid semester was to take a crappy windowless double. DD agreed to move to the double with her friend to get her away from the naked roommate. Naked roommate dropped out or transferred the following semester. So the situation resolved itself. No one was deported as far as I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman son at a state university has an international suitemate from China who is acting erratically. He was taken away on a 72 hour hold a month ago for masturbating in the dorm lobby in broad daylight. He came back and the female RA caught him doing it again on Friday. She called campus cops who came by and said there was nothing they could do. The guy doesn’t speak good English and was relying on his Chinese-American roommate to translate. That roommate just moved out. I’m concerned, because a mentally-I’ll student who was expelled two years ago stabbed 2 people to death. I want the kid on a plane back to China. I wrote the dean of residential education and was basically blown off. I called campus police. The sergeant said the college has an adjudicating process, and I should trust it to work. Or I could have my son make a citizen’s arrest of the kid next time he exposes himself. I don’t want my son to capture this guy’s attention. He has already violated our state’s lewd conduct law, which should get his visa revoked. Should I call the town police? Report him to ICE? Call a journalist? I am concerned for my son’s safety and really did not envision this to be part of his freshman dorm experience.

This can't be real. This isn't the post of a normal person and I think we should ignore it.

OP here: I agree it is surreal which is why I’m posting here for help. Never in my wildest dreams did I think this would be my son’s experience.

New poster here
I've actually heard of this happening at several different college campuses (not necessarily international students.) It's disgusting and I think it's insane that more isn't being done about it.

I just read about an incident like this at my daughter's college campus (on the parent FB pages) and it seems bizarre that there are so many reports of this. Either it's a trend, or there are a lot of trolls out there:

" Well. It has happened again. My sons suite mate....who now has no roommate. He seems to wait for an audience to masturbate. When my son has female friends over in the commonspace he decides that is the perfect time to pleasure himself loudly with the door open. My son has photographic evidence this time. This is obviously a sexual predator waiting to happen.
The University has turned a blind eye saying there is a " process" and keep putting it to my son to file reports, etc.
I have contacted Dean XXXX, VP of public safety Mr. XXXXX, Director or Residential Life Name XXXX, and I even emailed the President of the University. They are all hiding behind each other.
I feel this child is an absolute danger. I have said so repeatedly. [campus name omitted]
Any other ideas?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD had a friend freshman year whose roommate insisted on being naked in the dorm room all the time. The only way the friend could move out mid semester was to take a crappy windowless double. DD agreed to move to the double with her friend to get her away from the naked roommate. Naked roommate dropped out or transferred the following semester. So the situation resolved itself. No one was deported as far as I know.

The thing with this kid being an International is, plane tickets are expensive. He must be going home for Christmas break though. Or maybe not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman son at a state university has an international suitemate from China who is acting erratically. He was taken away on a 72 hour hold a month ago for masturbating in the dorm lobby in broad daylight. He came back and the female RA caught him doing it again on Friday. She called campus cops who came by and said there was nothing they could do. The guy doesn’t speak good English and was relying on his Chinese-American roommate to translate. That roommate just moved out. I’m concerned, because a mentally-I’ll student who was expelled two years ago stabbed 2 people to death. I want the kid on a plane back to China. I wrote the dean of residential education and was basically blown off. I called campus police. The sergeant said the college has an adjudicating process, and I should trust it to work. Or I could have my son make a citizen’s arrest of the kid next time he exposes himself. I don’t want my son to capture this guy’s attention. He has already violated our state’s lewd conduct law, which should get his visa revoked. Should I call the town police? Report him to ICE? Call a journalist? I am concerned for my son’s safety and really did not envision this to be part of his freshman dorm experience.

This can't be real. This isn't the post of a normal person and I think we should ignore it.

OP here: I agree it is surreal which is why I’m posting here for help. Never in my wildest dreams did I think this would be my son’s experience.

New poster here
I've actually heard of this happening at several different college campuses (not necessarily international students.) It's disgusting and I think it's insane that more isn't being done about it.

I just read about an incident like this at my daughter's college campus (on the parent FB pages) and it seems bizarre that there are so many reports of this. Either it's a trend, or there are a lot of trolls out there:

" Well. It has happened again. My sons suite mate....who now has no roommate. He seems to wait for an audience to masturbate. When my son has female friends over in the commonspace he decides that is the perfect time to pleasure himself loudly with the door open. My son has photographic evidence this time. This is obviously a sexual predator waiting to happen.
The University has turned a blind eye saying there is a " process" and keep putting it to my son to file reports, etc.
I have contacted Dean XXXX, VP of public safety Mr. XXXXX, Director or Residential Life Name XXXX, and I even emailed the President of the University. They are all hiding behind each other.
I feel this child is an absolute danger. I have said so repeatedly. [campus name omitted]
Any other ideas?"

I purposely have not posted on the parents’ FB page because I know it will bring out the crazies like the person who called me a racist. There are too many people these days who sympathize with the perpetrator and not the victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman son at a state university has an international suitemate from China who is acting erratically. He was taken away on a 72 hour hold a month ago for masturbating in the dorm lobby in broad daylight. He came back and the female RA caught him doing it again on Friday. She called campus cops who came by and said there was nothing they could do. The guy doesn’t speak good English and was relying on his Chinese-American roommate to translate. That roommate just moved out. I’m concerned, because a mentally-I’ll student who was expelled two years ago stabbed 2 people to death. I want the kid on a plane back to China. I wrote the dean of residential education and was basically blown off. I called campus police. The sergeant said the college has an adjudicating process, and I should trust it to work. Or I could have my son make a citizen’s arrest of the kid next time he exposes himself. I don’t want my son to capture this guy’s attention. He has already violated our state’s lewd conduct law, which should get his visa revoked. Should I call the town police? Report him to ICE? Call a journalist? I am concerned for my son’s safety and really did not envision this to be part of his freshman dorm experience.

This can't be real. This isn't the post of a normal person and I think we should ignore it.

OP here: I agree it is surreal which is why I’m posting here for help. Never in my wildest dreams did I think this would be my son’s experience.

New poster here
I've actually heard of this happening at several different college campuses (not necessarily international students.) It's disgusting and I think it's insane that more isn't being done about it.

I just read about an incident like this at my daughter's college campus (on the parent FB pages) and it seems bizarre that there are so many reports of this. Either it's a trend, or there are a lot of trolls out there:

" Well. It has happened again. My sons suite mate....who now has no roommate. He seems to wait for an audience to masturbate. When my son has female friends over in the commonspace he decides that is the perfect time to pleasure himself loudly with the door open. My son has photographic evidence this time. This is obviously a sexual predator waiting to happen.
The University has turned a blind eye saying there is a " process" and keep putting it to my son to file reports, etc.
I have contacted Dean XXXX, VP of public safety Mr. XXXXX, Director or Residential Life Name XXXX, and I even emailed the President of the University. They are all hiding behind each other.
I feel this child is an absolute danger. I have said so repeatedly. [campus name omitted]
Any other ideas?"

It sounds like the same guy op is talking about, down to the no roommate part since she said the guy moved out!

[Anonymous]

Our campus police work hand in hand with city police. Both were at orientation, and they hold each other accountable. I really can't believe they just said campus police will handle. It's illegal to expose yourself in public.

[Anonymous]

Social pressure / shame is a big motivator in China. I would find a way to get in contact with the parents to let them know what is happening.
Even more effective is posting it on Chinese social media Weibo, QQ or Douyin. The authorities are fairly concerned about Chinese social behavior abroad and may pressure the parents to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social pressure / shame is a big motivator in China. I would find a way to get in contact with the parents to let them know what is happening.
Even more effective is posting it on Chinese social media Weibo, QQ or Douyin. The authorities are fairly concerned about Chinese social behavior abroad and may pressure the parents to deal with it.

Interesting. Are you Chinese? I was worried the parents might not want him back because of cultural shame. I wonder how I could post the Instagram pictures of him in a bra with falsies on Weibo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman son at a state university has an international suitemate from China who is acting erratically. He was taken away on a 72 hour hold a month ago for masturbating in the dorm lobby in broad daylight. He came back and the female RA caught him doing it again on Friday. She called campus cops who came by and said there was nothing they could do. The guy doesn’t speak good English and was relying on his Chinese-American roommate to translate. That roommate just moved out. I’m concerned, because a mentally-I’ll student who was expelled two years ago stabbed 2 people to death. I want the kid on a plane back to China. I wrote the dean of residential education and was basically blown off. I called campus police. The sergeant said the college has an adjudicating process, and I should trust it to work. Or I could have my son make a citizen’s arrest of the kid next time he exposes himself. I don’t want my son to capture this guy’s attention. He has already violated our state’s lewd conduct law, which should get his visa revoked. Should I call the town police? Report him to ICE? Call a journalist? I am concerned for my son’s safety and really did not envision this to be part of his freshman dorm experience.

This can't be real. This isn't the post of a normal person and I think we should ignore it.

OP here: I agree it is surreal which is why I’m posting here for help. Never in my wildest dreams did I think this would be my son’s experience.

New poster here
I've actually heard of this happening at several different college campuses (not necessarily international students.) It's disgusting and I think it's insane that more isn't being done about it.

I just read about an incident like this at my daughter's college campus (on the parent FB pages) and it seems bizarre that there are so many reports of this. Either it's a trend, or there are a lot of trolls out there:

" Well. It has happened again. My sons suite mate....who now has no roommate. He seems to wait for an audience to masturbate. When my son has female friends over in the commonspace he decides that is the perfect time to pleasure himself loudly with the door open. My son has photographic evidence this time. This is obviously a sexual predator waiting to happen.
The University has turned a blind eye saying there is a " process" and keep putting it to my son to file reports, etc.
I have contacted Dean XXXX, VP of public safety Mr. XXXXX, Director or Residential Life Name XXXX, and I even emailed the President of the University. They are all hiding behind each other.
I feel this child is an absolute danger. I have said so repeatedly. [campus name omitted]
Any other ideas?"

PP you quoted here.
In my situtaion, it's been a "friend of a friend." We all have kids the same age (so they all started college at the same time) so when comparing roommate "horror stories" (or good stories!) I've heard a few sitations like this.