Husbands former AP wearing necklace he gave her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you have every right to feel creeped out by this.

+1 Agree. OP has a right to feel whatever she feels about this, especially as she's the betrayed spouse here. And those PPs shrugging off OP's feelings by saying how jewelry from their exes is no big deal, no emotion attached -- those situations are not at all comparable to jewelry given by one cheater to another cheater. In this case, former AP =/= "ex" in the sense those PPs are discussing. They're giving the AP cover by implying she's probably just wearing the necklace because, pretty necklace, but how the AP regards the necklace is not the point here; OP's feelings about it are the point.

OP, I don't think you've been back to say how you came to see this necklace in a photo. For your own mental health, please, do not follow her (or follow anyone who follows/tags her) on social media. If you have mutual friends you feel you "must" follow on social media, well, I'd tell them you're cutting back all social media, it's taking too much time, you're going to just essential uses for your work or kids' school or whatever, and stop following them too. Just hiding their posts in your feeds will not necessarily prevent you from caving in and taking a peek at hidden posts to see if she's on there.

This is all well and good but there's not one thing OP can do about it, except control her own behavior.

Yes. I agree. But do you realize that my post does not say anything about her "doing anything about it" other than getting off social media? The reading comprehension here, and the insistence that somehow OP is the problem, is bizarre.

FFS. So many posts here just trying to dunk on OP's emotions. She can effing feel what she feels without all of you snarking at her that it's no big deal, or wagging your fingers at her and saying, well, nothing you can do about it. I suspect all of you consider negative feelings weak. At least OP owns her feelings rather than choking them down like so many here.

OP's post isn't about her feelings. It's literally "Why is that other woman doing a thing I don't like?"

Quit projecting. Just read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wear a bracelet an ex from years ago gave me. My husband teases me about it but the bracelet is so pretty! I didn’t wear it for 5
two decades and at this point realized that just silly. It’s just gold not my heart.

I do too. I have a Tiffany heart toggle one. They have kind of come back in, and I think they cost like $700 now, so I have been wearing it.

But here's the thing -- that was a boyfriend I had in law school, 20 years ago, and it didn't work out, but things ended amicably enough. If I had a married bf and the relationship ended horribly over him not leaving his wife? I absolutely would not be wearing a piece of jewelry from him. Bad memories, bad energy, and it was a bad situation all around. That is not even jewelry that should have been given. My Tiffany bracelet is neutral to positive, but no strong feelings attached at all. I am suspicious of this AP OP references wearing that jewelry. Totally different situation. I think OP should be suspicious. Maybe she just likes the necklace; maybe it isn't over.

I think maybe it isn’t over - but I also think that I wouldn’t assume she wanted him to leave his wife for her. Sometimes APs are married and just want something on the side. Sometimes APs care about a person but don’t necessarily want the baggage of a full marriage — you know, because they know the guy’s bad habits, like that he cheats. They are happy for the attention, the dates, the gifts and the sex - and then send him home for someone else to deal with him.

WOW

[Anonymous]

Probably bc she feels like she earned it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw a picture of her recently and she’s wearing an expensive necklace my husband gave her during the affair.

It’s been over for 1.5 years (and yes I’m certain) but why would she wear it? Seems odd to me as he literally dropped her the minute I found out and it was completely clear he was using her and lying to her during the entire relationship -

It is completely clear he lies to and uses you, so why are you still wearing that ring?

+1

🔥

OP:

[Anonymous]

You guys are horrible. Here we have a woman who was cheated on, she comes on here to vent and you guys tell her to get over it. The way some people here downplays having an AP is scary. They talk about it like a little nuisance to get over. At some point in time, her husband was kissing, probably eating out the AP, showring her gifts, caressing her, massaging her, giving her all kind of underserved attention. OP at that time was probably home waiting for her husband, taking care of their kids if they have any, so of course this is triggering. Heck he probably put the neckless on her the first time he got it for her.

[Anonymous]

He should have asked for it back. I would have made him. Do married men always give their affair partners expensive things to remember them by?

[Anonymous]

Eating her out coming home and kissing the kids without gargling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He should have asked for it back. I would have made him. Do married men always give their affair partners expensive things to remember them by?

I was very generous with my AP. She was trying to compete with my wife and it was getting worse and worse. At that point I ended it and never had an AP again. There is something really strange about women trying to compete with other women they don't even know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys are horrible. Here we have a woman who was cheated on, she comes on here to vent and you guys tell her to get over it. The way some people here downplays having an AP is scary. They talk about it like a little nuisance to get over. At some point in time, her husband was kissing, probably eating out the AP, showring her gifts, caressing her, massaging her, giving her all kind of underserved attention. OP at that time was probably home waiting for her husband, taking care of their kids if they have any, so of course this is triggering. Heck he probably put the neckless on her the first time he got it for her.

Of course he was eating out the OP and the OP probably earned that necklace by doing things on the husbands kink list. Probably no condom anal or cum on the ap's face whatever he wanted he probably got

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eating her out coming home and kissing the kids without gargling.

He probably ate her a**s too, F**D her raw, came in her and all that good stuff. I don't even know how OP can get aroused again for her hubsand. People do some really freaky stuff with their APs.

[Anonymous]

Sorry meant AP not op lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wear a bracelet an ex from years ago gave me. My husband teases me about it but the bracelet is so pretty! I didn’t wear it for 5
two decades and at this point realized that just silly. It’s just gold not my heart.

I do too. I have a Tiffany heart toggle one. They have kind of come back in, and I think they cost like $700 now, so I have been wearing it.

But here's the thing -- that was a boyfriend I had in law school, 20 years ago, and it didn't work out, but things ended amicably enough. If I had a married bf and the relationship ended horribly over him not leaving his wife? I absolutely would not be wearing a piece of jewelry from him. Bad memories, bad energy, and it was a bad situation all around. That is not even jewelry that should have been given. My Tiffany bracelet is neutral to positive, but no strong feelings attached at all. I am suspicious of this AP OP references wearing that jewelry. Totally different situation. I think OP should be suspicious. Maybe she just likes the necklace; maybe it isn't over.

I think maybe it isn’t over - but I also think that I wouldn’t assume she wanted him to leave his wife for her. Sometimes APs are married and just want something on the side. Sometimes APs care about a person but don’t necessarily want the baggage of a full marriage — you know, because they know the guy’s bad habits, like that he cheats. They are happy for the attention, the dates, the gifts and the sex - and then send him home for someone else to deal with him.

Yeah, these APs exist. For sure. But they don't tend to be going around wearing sentimental jewelrey gifts over a year later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have asked for it back. I would have made him. Do married men always give their affair partners expensive things to remember them by?

I was very generous with my AP. She was trying to compete with my wife and it was getting worse and worse. At that point I ended it and
never had an AP again. There is something really strange about women trying to compete with other women they don't even know.

It's always a competition with women. It's also driven by jealousy or envy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my guess is she wears more than the necklace he gave her.

She probably wears that expensive, sexy lingerie he gave her, too. While she's with her new man, no less.

Life goes on. Including hers. Forget about this nonsense, drop it behind you like a leaded bag, and move forward.

Yeah. Gold-diggers can’t afford that stuff on their own. They prostitute themselves for jewelry and nice dinners.

This is such a paranoid, jealous and absurd stance.

No one is dealing with ridiculous married men for "nice dinners" and a freaking necklace. Not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eating her out coming home and kissing the kids without gargling.

He probably ate her a**s too, F**D her raw, came in her and all that good stuff. I don't even know how OP can get aroused again for her hubsand. People do some really freaky stuff with their APs.

+1

A man I dated said he had cheated with someone's wife on his own wife. It was raw anal and anything sex. He really wanted to marry me but he has cheated on a wife with someone's wife. Who can trust that. However I know most women don't care or care to ask.