Husbands former AP wearing necklace he gave her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wear a bracelet an ex from years ago gave me. My husband teases me about it but the bracelet is so pretty! I didn’t wear it for 5
two decades and at this point realized that just silly. It’s just gold not my heart.

I do too. I have a Tiffany heart toggle one. They have kind of come back in, and I think they cost like $700 now, so I have been wearing it.

But here's the thing -- that was a boyfriend I had in law school, 20 years ago, and it didn't work out, but things ended amicably enough. If I had a married bf and the relationship ended horribly over him not leaving his wife? I absolutely would not be wearing a piece of jewelry from him. Bad memories, bad energy, and it was a bad situation all around. That is not even jewelry that should have been given. My Tiffany bracelet is neutral to positive, but no strong feelings attached at all. I am suspicious of this AP OP references wearing that jewelry. Totally different situation. I think OP should be suspicious. Maybe she just likes the necklace; maybe it isn't over.

I think maybe it isn’t over - but I also think that I wouldn’t assume she wanted him to leave his wife for her. Sometimes APs are married and just want something on the side. Sometimes APs care about a person but don’t necessarily want the baggage of a full marriage — you know, because they know the guy’s bad habits, like that he cheats. They are happy for the attention, the dates, the gifts and the sex - and then send him home for someone else to deal with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wear a bracelet an ex from years ago gave me. My husband teases me about it but the bracelet is so pretty! I didn’t wear it for 5
two decades and at this point realized that just silly. It’s just gold not my heart.

I do too. I have a Tiffany heart toggle one. They have kind of come back in, and I think they cost like $700 now, so I have been wearing it.

But here's the thing -- that was a boyfriend I had in law school, 20 years ago, and it didn't work out, but things ended amicably enough. If I had a married bf and the relationship ended horribly over him not leaving his wife? I absolutely would not be wearing a piece of jewelry from him. Bad memories, bad energy, and it was a bad situation all around. That is not even jewelry that should have been given. My Tiffany bracelet is neutral to positive, but no strong feelings attached at all. I am suspicious of this AP OP references wearing that jewelry. Totally different situation. I think OP should be suspicious. Maybe she just likes the necklace; maybe it isn't over.

I think maybe it isn’t over - but I also think that I wouldn’t assume she wanted him to leave his wife for her. Sometimes APs are married and just want something on the side. Sometimes APs care about a person but don’t necessarily want the baggage of a full marriage — you know, because they know the guy’s bad habits, like that he cheats. They are happy for the attention, the dates, the gifts and the sex - and then send him home for someone else to deal with him.

+1 it probably didn't end as dramatically and one-sided as the OP claims

DH probably told her he had to end it (assuming he even did) and she said Oh Well

[Anonymous]

Why are you stalking her?

[Anonymous]

She likes the necklace and why are you looking at pictures of her? Are you stalking? Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, it is one of two things. She wears it because she likes it. Or she is wearing it because their relationship is not over. I’m going to bet on the latter, because most people don’t wear things given to them by people who disappointed them. Bad juju. So.

I wouldn’t confront him. I’d investigate it without letting him know. Hire a PI if you have to.

Or she’s just wearing it to fk with OP, knowing she is viewing her social media. I go with this.

Yup this. Knows it’ll get under OPs skin.

[Anonymous]

Every grift begins with Kay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, it is one of two things. She wears it because she likes it. Or she is wearing it because their relationship is not over. I’m going to bet on the latter, because most people don’t wear things given to them by people who disappointed them. Bad juju. So.

I wouldn’t confront him. I’d investigate it without letting him know. Hire a PI if you have to.

Or she’s just wearing it to fk with OP, knowing she is viewing her social media. I go with this.

Yup this. Knows it’ll get under OPs skin.

+100 just being a c&nt

[Anonymous]

It's a nice necklace. I have a gorgeous Tiffany necklace that an ex-boyfriend gave me that I still wear and DH and I have been married for 15 years.

[Anonymous]

Op, you have every right to feel creeped out by this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw a picture of her recently and she’s wearing an expensive necklace my husband gave her during the affair.

It’s been over for 1.5 years (and yes I’m certain) but why would she wear it? Seems odd to me as he literally dropped her the minute I found out and it was completely clear he was using her and lying to her during the entire relationship -

He’s still clappin them cheeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, it is one of two things. She wears it because she likes it. Or she is wearing it because their relationship is not over. I’m going to bet on the latter, because most people don’t wear things given to them by people who disappointed them. Bad juju. So.

I wouldn’t confront him. I’d investigate it without letting him know. Hire a PI if you have to.

Or she’s just wearing it to fk with OP, knowing she is viewing her social media. I go with this.

Yup this. Knows it’ll get under OPs skin.

AP is an entertaining villain in this tale.

Sure OP kept her husband, but is she really winning?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you have every right to feel creeped out by this.

+1 Agree. OP has a right to feel whatever she feels about this, especially as she's the betrayed spouse here. And those PPs shrugging off OP's feelings by saying how jewelry from their exes is no big deal, no emotion attached -- those situations are not at all comparable to jewelry given by one cheater to another cheater. In this case, former AP =/= "ex" in the sense those PPs are discussing. They're giving the AP cover by implying she's probably just wearing the necklace because, pretty necklace, but how the AP regards the necklace is not the point here; OP's feelings about it are the point.

OP, I don't think you've been back to say how you came to see this necklace in a photo. For your own mental health, please, do not follow her (or follow anyone who follows/tags her) on social media. If you have mutual friends you feel you "must" follow on social media, well, I'd tell them you're cutting back all social media, it's taking too much time, you're going to just essential uses for your work or kids' school or whatever, and stop following them too. Just hiding their posts in your feeds will not necessarily prevent you from caving in and taking a peek at hidden posts to see if she's on there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a nice necklace. I have a gorgeous Tiffany necklace that an ex-boyfriend gave me that I still wear and DH and I have been married for 15 years.

Was the boyfriend married, and you were his affair partner? If not, your experience just isn't relevant to OP's situation or her feelings. Good grief.

[Anonymous]

How expensive?

[Anonymous]

Most APs turn outright bitter and nasty when the guy doesn’t leave the wife or starts paying them less attention. They will do and say things to try and hurt the wife to get back at the husband. Story as old as time. I could totally see her wearing it out of spite and to fk with the married couple.