Dating after divorce and finances

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 47 divorced 2 years. I am very attractive good hobbies great job that I love and most importantly 2 beautiful.kids that I love so much.

However I am broke and this has honestly kept me from dating. Between child support, saving for college, emergency fund and retirement while I am not paycheck to paycheck for most women in the DMV I am sure they won't come anywhere near me. Women dl often say they have their own and don't need yours and I believe them. However it doesn't mean they are open to date a man who is barely making it.

I could be wrong. But I don't even want the discussion to come up so for now I just won't date.

I'm 45f, divorced a year and working to become financially independent (was a trailing SAH spouse supporting my ex's career) by the time my 2 kids are off to college and it would be hard to make our situations work financially.

I'm attractive, fit and all that, but I live in a small town in Florida so end up dating older men who have grown kids and partially retired and living on boats or otherwise downsized. It works for now, but feel like in 10 years, I'll be looking for more.

In 10 years, I bet you'll be looking to date my situation now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to date someone who knows how to fix stuff and is good in bed.
I can make my own money.

I can relate, but I'm also unwilling to carry a man financially, so I'd rather be single. If it's only about the bedroom, I would only go for a much younger, hot guy, and we wouldn't be traveling together or doing expensive things as I can do that with my friends who pay for themselves. At this point in my life, there's zero chance that I'd be willing to carry a man financially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 44 and dating. I only care that the man have enough money to support himself and be able to do fun things with me like travel and be able to pay his way and take the time off work to do so.

You do realize that is a lot to want? Most men I've met off OLD don't really travel and having fun on travel is expensive

That’s not been my experience.

At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 44 and dating. I only care that the man have enough money to support himself and be able to do fun things with me like travel and be able to pay his way and take the time off work to do so.

You do realize that is a lot to want? Most men I've met off OLD don't really travel and having fun on travel is expensive

That’s not been my experience.

At all.

Oh well- of course unattractive men would always bravado their travels, invite etc. But if you date around your age and hot, these tend to be broke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 47 divorced 2 years. I am very attractive good hobbies great job that I love and most importantly 2 beautiful.kids that I love so much.

However I am broke and this has honestly kept me from dating. Between child support, saving for college, emergency fund and retirement while I am not paycheck to paycheck for most women in the DMV I am sure they won't come anywhere near me. Women dl often say they have their own and don't need yours and I believe them. However it doesn't mean they are open to date a man who is barely making it.

I could be wrong. But I don't even want the discussion to come up so for now I just won't date.

I'm 45f, divorced a year and working to become financially independent (was a trailing SAH spouse supporting my ex's career) by the time my 2 kids are off to college and it would be hard to make our situations work financially.

I'm attractive, fit and all that, but I live in a small town in Florida so end up dating older men who have grown kids and partially retired and living on boats or otherwise downsized. It works for now, but feel like in 10 years, I'll be looking for more.

In 10 years, I bet you'll be looking to date my situation now.

Do you live in sarasota? I do, and was just out for dinner with a group of women and many were divorced and describe what you do. Lots of 55 year old women with 75 year old private jet and yacht retirees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to date someone who knows how to fix stuff and is good in bed.
I can make my own money.

I just want someone who can hold a conversation, make me laugh and is good in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 47 divorced 2 years. I am very attractive good hobbies great job that I love and most importantly 2 beautiful.kids that I love so much.

However I am broke and this has honestly kept me from dating. Between child support, saving for college, emergency fund and retirement while I am not paycheck to paycheck for most women in the DMV I am sure they won't come anywhere near me. Women dl often say they have their own and don't need yours and I believe them. However it doesn't mean they are open to date a man who is barely making it.

I could be wrong. But I don't even want the discussion to come up so for now I just won't date.

I'm 45f, divorced a year and working to become financially independent (was a trailing SAH spouse supporting my ex's career) by the time my 2 kids are off to college and it would be hard to make our situations work financially.

I'm attractive, fit and all that, but I live in a small town in Florida so end up dating older men who have grown kids and partially retired and living on boats or otherwise downsized. It works for now, but feel like in 10 years, I'll be looking for more.

In 10 years, I bet you'll be looking to date my situation now.

Do you live in sarasota? I do, and was just out for dinner with a group of women and many were divorced and describe what you do. Lots of 55 year old women with 75 year old private jet and yacht retirees.

Not Sarasota.

I’m more interested in boring, mom stuff so low-key, post midlife crises 55-60 year olds fixing up sailboats are my jam. They are handy and eager to please.

Once my kids are launched, I might be ready for a rich old jetsetter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 44 and dating. I only care that the man have enough money to support himself and be able to do fun things with me like travel and be able to pay his way and take the time off work to do so.

You do realize that is a lot to want? Most men I've met off OLD don't really travel and having fun on travel is expensive

Everyone I've dated since my divorce has been able to meet this requirement, so no, I don't think it's too much to ask. Of course, many more people may not be able to do this, and that's fine, but they just aren't the person for me.

It's a YOU issue. I am well traveled and so are many men that I know. Judging from the way you communicate I don't think well traveled men want to join you on a trip. Oh wait you probably gonna back and say you have had to say no to so many well traveled men who wanted to travel.with you.

The way I communicate? I never said I was looking for someone who was well travelled. I said I wanted someone with the ability to travel. Reading is fundamental.

I'm 44 and semi-retired with a lot of time to explore my hobbies. I don't want to be tied down with someone who has a lot of commitments or restraints that keep him local (small kids, a non-remote job or one that's not flexible with time off, no money, etc.). Of course, most men my age have huge time constraints.....those are not the men I'm dating. There are PLENTY that do have a lot of freedom, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 44 and dating. I only care that the man have enough money to support himself and be able to do fun things with me like travel and be able to pay his way and take the time off work to do so.

You do realize that is a lot to want? Most men I've met off OLD don't really travel and having fun on travel is expensive

Everyone I've dated since my divorce has been able to meet this requirement, so no, I don't think it's too much to ask. Of course, many more people may not be able to do this, and that's fine, but they just aren't the person for me.

It's a YOU issue. I am well traveled and so are many men that I know. Judging from the way you communicate I don't think well traveled men want to join you on a trip. Oh wait you probably gonna back and say you have had to say no to so many well traveled men who wanted to travel.with you.

The way I communicate? I never said I was looking for someone who was well travelled. I said I wanted someone with the ability to travel. Reading is fundamental.

I'm 44 and semi-retired with a lot of time to explore my hobbies. I don't want to be tied down with someone who has a lot of commitments or restraints that keep him local (small kids, a non-remote job or one that's not flexible with time off, no money, etc.). Of course, most men my age have huge time constraints.....those are not the men I'm dating. There are PLENTY that do have a lot of freedom, though.

My boyfriend is the one who wants to travel. I’m the one somewhat strapped for funds because I have kids. We both have our hobbies… but isn’t it nicer to have someone to come home to and talk about them with?

[Anonymous]

Can we retire this “well traveled”’expression like it has any kind of value or meaning as an end in itself? It’s not like being “well-educated.” People travel all kinds of places and the frequency and variety is not the point, you can be parochial af even after traveling abroad, or you can be a thoughtful and culturally literate person who has never left the USA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 44 and dating. I only care that the man have enough money to support himself and be able to do fun things with me like travel and be able to pay his way and take the time off work to do so.

You do realize that is a lot to want? Most men I've met off OLD don't really travel and having fun on travel is expensive

Everyone I've dated since my divorce has been able to meet this requirement, so no, I don't think it's too much to ask. Of course, many more people may not be able to do this, and that's fine, but they just aren't the person for me.

It's a YOU issue. I am well traveled and so are many men that I know. Judging from the way you communicate I don't think well traveled men want to join you on a trip. Oh wait you probably gonna back and say you have had to say no to so many well traveled men who wanted to travel.with you.

The way I communicate? I never said I was looking for someone who was well travelled. I said I wanted someone with the ability to travel. Reading is fundamental.

I'm 44 and semi-retired with a lot of time to explore my hobbies. I don't want to be tied down with someone who has a lot of commitments or restraints that keep him local (small kids, a non-remote job or one that's not flexible with time off, no money, etc.). Of course, most men my age have huge time constraints.....those are not the men I'm dating. There are PLENTY that do have a lot of freedom, though.

My boyfriend is the one who wants to travel. I’m the one somewhat strapped for funds because I have kids. We both have our hobbies… but isn’t it nicer to have someone to come home to and talk about them with?

Nicer than actually travelling together? Not for me, but I'm not knocking anyone for not being at the same life stage I'm at. We're just not going to be compatible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 47 divorced 2 years. I am very attractive good hobbies great job that I love and most importantly 2 beautiful.kids that I love so much.

However I am broke and this has honestly kept me from dating. Between child support, saving for college, emergency fund and retirement while I am not paycheck to paycheck for most women in the DMV I am sure they won't come anywhere near me. Women dl often say they have their own and don't need yours and I believe them. However it doesn't mean they are open to date a man who is barely making it.

I could be wrong. But I don't even want the discussion to come up so for now I just won't date.

I'm 45f, divorced a year and working to become financially independent (was a trailing SAH spouse supporting my ex's career) by the time my 2 kids are off to college and it would be hard to make our situations work financially.

I'm attractive, fit and all that, but I live in a small town in Florida so end up dating older men who have grown kids and partially retired and living on boats or otherwise downsized. It works for now, but feel like in 10 years, I'll be looking for more.

In 10 years, I bet you'll be looking to date my situation now.

Do you live in sarasota? I do, and was just out for dinner with a group of women and many were divorced and describe what you do. Lots of 55 year old women with 75 year old private jet and yacht retirees.

Got to love you they shamelessly seek men of means

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 44 and dating. I only care that the man have enough money to support himself and be able to do fun things with me like travel and be able to pay his way and take the time off work to do so.

You do realize that is a lot to want? Most men I've met off OLD don't really travel and having fun on travel is expensive

Everyone I've dated since my divorce has been able to meet this requirement, so no, I don't think it's too much to ask. Of course, many more people may not be able to do this, and that's fine, but they just aren't the person for me.

It's a YOU issue. I am well traveled and so are many men that I know. Judging from the way you communicate I don't think well traveled men want to join you on a trip. Oh wait you probably gonna back and say you have had to say no to so many well traveled men who wanted to travel.with you.

The way I communicate? I never said I was looking for someone who was well travelled. I said I wanted someone with the ability to travel. Reading is fundamental.

I'm 44 and semi-retired with a lot of time to explore my hobbies. I don't want to be tied down with someone who has a lot of commitments or restraints that keep him local (small kids, a non-remote job or one that's not flexible with time off, no money, etc.). Of course, most men my age have huge time constraints.....those are not the men I'm dating. There are PLENTY that do have a lot of freedom, though.

My boyfriend is the one who wants to travel. I’m the one somewhat strapped for funds because I have kids. We both have our hobbies… but isn’t it nicer to have someone to come home to and talk about them with?

Nicer than actually travelling together? Not for me, but I'm not knocking anyone for not being at the same life stage I'm at. We're just not going to be compatible.

Right, I’m not actually looking for a jet setter. I want a family man because I have young kids. I also traveled a lot in my youth. I want to invest in my kids’ lives and my community.

[Anonymous]

If something happened to my DH or we got divorced, I would absolutely screen for money. That doesn’t mean he has to be wealthy.

I will never carry another man financially. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 47 divorced 2 years. I am very attractive good hobbies great job that I love and most importantly 2 beautiful.kids that I love so much.

However I am broke and this has honestly kept me from dating. Between child support, saving for college, emergency fund and retirement while I am not paycheck to paycheck for most women in the DMV I am sure they won't come anywhere near me. Women dl often say they have their own and don't need yours and I believe them. However it doesn't mean they are open to date a man who is barely making it.

I could be wrong. But I don't even want the discussion to come up so for now I just won't date.

I'm 45f, divorced a year and working to become financially independent (was a trailing SAH spouse supporting my ex's career) by the time my 2 kids are off to college and it would be hard to make our situations work financially.

I'm attractive, fit and all that, but I live in a small town in Florida so end up dating older men who have grown kids and partially retired and living on boats or otherwise downsized. It works for now, but feel like in 10 years, I'll be looking for more.

In 10 years, I bet you'll be looking to date my situation now.

Do you live in sarasota? I do, and was just out for dinner with a group of women and many were divorced and describe what you do. Lots of 55 year old women with 75 year old private jet and yacht retirees.

Got to love you they shamelessly seek men of means

Why would they not? Gen X men want you to cook, clean, fulfill all of their sexual needs, deal with any kids they may have, and help pay bills. No thanks.