Called Out a Misleading Profile Photo - AITA?

[Anonymous]

You were unnecessarily rude, OP and you hurt this poor woman when she didn't deserve it. There are ways of leaving diplomatically. I promise you, a man excusing himself makes the message that you should post more accurate photos devastatingly clear. No rudeness necessary!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You were unnecessarily rude, OP and you hurt this poor woman when she didn't deserve it. There are ways of leaving diplomatically. I promise you, a man excusing himself makes the message that you should post more accurate photos devastatingly clear. No rudeness necessary!

No, not rude but honest. Liars like Ops date should try living honestly and see if their interpersonal interactions improve. But OP doesn’t owe kindness and gratitude to someone who deliberately mislead him. If the date was embarrassed maybe she will update her photos to avoid a repeat situation. Much better for everyone.

[Anonymous]

I'm the same as you. Lots of guys lied about their height but that didn't particularly bother me since I'm very short. But the teeth thing happened more than once! Also had a guy whose photos were all clean-cut in business clothes, and he showed up looking like Jerry Garcia in a silkscreen Dragon Ball shirt. OMG!
I was too non-confrontational to say anything so I just got through the date and made an excuse to leave after an hour or so. I would try to pay as well. But there was no way I was going to develop an attraction.

What is wrong with a silkscreen Dragon Ball shirt?

If I want to impress a date, I wear my authentic Starfleet uniform (in Command Gold from the original series.) Once women see me in it, they drop their deflector shields and ask me to enter their shuttle bay. Red Alert, indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You were unnecessarily rude, OP and you hurt this poor woman when she didn't deserve it. There are ways of leaving diplomatically. I promise you, a man excusing himself makes the message that you should post more accurate photos devastatingly clear. No rudeness necessary!

No, not rude but honest. Liars like Ops date should try living honestly and see if their interpersonal interactions improve. But OP doesn’t owe kindness and gratitude to someone who deliberately mislead him. If the date was embarrassed maybe she will update her photos to avoid a repeat situation. Much better for everyone.

The same effect would have been achieved without the blunt words. If you can be effective without being rude, that's always the way to go.

I am certain that all of you defending OP would be incredibly hurt if people called you out on all your little foibles and lies. Don't pretend you never lie or make yourself out to be better than you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man I will say that women are less likely than men to misrepresent themselves online.

Back to OP. You are a piece of sh**t. You are void of basic human decency. Even if you felt deceived you could have just spent the date with her, enjoy a few laughs and that's it. And second for most of guys dates are cheap. It's easy for us to quickly get ready no need for make up for sexy underwater for eyeliners etc. we just need to wear clothes that are clean and fit well and smell good, brush out teeth and come with a positive attitude.

My friend I am afraid you will be single for a very long time. And you may also have miss an opportunity to smash. Of I forgot she is fat give me a break lol.

Do better next time okay buddy!

You like smashing women with fat p**y. Gross

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could have been more diplomatic, OP. I don't think this was a situation where it's OK to hurt someone's feelings. People who deceive in their profiles generally get the message... but there's no need to be so aggressive about it.

+1

I definitely went on a fair number of online dates back in the day and the guy would show up 3 inches shorter than his profile stated or with jacked up teeth (I then realized all photos were closed mouth smiles) or something else that maybe wasn’t clearly identified in their profile.

I would have a drink (happy hour glass of wine or cup of coffee or whatever planned) and then make some excuse to cut things short. If they followed up later I’d say I enjoyed meeting them, but didn’t think a connection was there. What is the point of berating them about their appearance or for spinning their appearance as something else in their profile. At some point they’ll have to figure out that their profile is false advertising and they’re wasting time with people who would not be attracted to them in person.

I am a very non-confrontational person though. Not worth my effort to get into a tiff and blocking anyone.

I’m married and never did OLD. I have heard that initial meeting is best to be short (coffee or drink) to see if you actually are what you say and see if you want an actual real date.

If you haven't done it you don't understand the sheer volume of dates and hence the time drain of a so many dud first dates. That's the reason I empathize a bit with OP (I am a woman).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You were unnecessarily rude, OP and you hurt this poor woman when she didn't deserve it. There are ways of leaving diplomatically. I promise you, a man excusing himself makes the message that you should post more accurate photos devastatingly clear. No rudeness necessary!

No, not rude but honest. Liars like Ops date should try living honestly and see if their interpersonal interactions improve. But OP doesn’t owe kindness and gratitude to someone who deliberately mislead him. If the date was embarrassed maybe she will update her photos to avoid a repeat situation. Much better for everyone.

The same effect would have been achieved without the blunt words. If you can be effective without being rude, that's always the way to go.

I am certain that all of you defending OP would be incredibly hurt if people called you out on all your little foibles and lies. Don't pretend you never lie or make yourself out to be better than you are.

How could OP have left without saying something about why (unless he lied and just faked an unrelated emergency or something)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh. A lot of men are deceptive about their income. I see a lot of “I’m an entrepreneur!” And when you meet up you find out they drive DoorDash and DJ once a month.

that made me laugh, yeah i stayed away from entrepreneurs...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You were unnecessarily rude, OP and you hurt this poor woman when she didn't deserve it. There are ways of leaving diplomatically. I promise you, a man excusing himself makes the message that you should post more accurate photos devastatingly clear. No rudeness necessary!

No, not rude but honest. Liars like Ops date should try living honestly and see if their interpersonal interactions improve. But OP doesn’t owe kindness and gratitude to someone who deliberately mislead him. If the date was embarrassed maybe she will update her photos to avoid a repeat situation. Much better for everyone.

The same effect would have been achieved without the blunt words. If you can be effective without being rude, that's always the way to go.

I am certain that all of you defending OP would be incredibly hurt if people called you out on all your little foibles and lies. Don't pretend you never lie or make yourself out to be better than you are.

How could OP have left without saying something about why (unless he lied and just faked an unrelated emergency or something)?

Use I language.

I was really looking forward to connecting with you based on your profile. We all look different in photos than we do in real life, but I perceive that the photos you used were taken when you were a significantly different size. There’s the issue of physical attraction, but for me also the issue of whether I can trust that you’ll be honest with me. I’m sorry but I don’t think this will work out.

Honest, direct, but talking about his feelings and not her intentions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You were unnecessarily rude, OP and you hurt this poor woman when she didn't deserve it. There are ways of leaving diplomatically. I promise you, a man excusing himself makes the message that you should post more accurate photos devastatingly clear. No rudeness necessary!

No, not rude but honest. Liars like Ops date should try living honestly and see if their interpersonal interactions improve. But OP doesn’t owe kindness and gratitude to someone who deliberately mislead him. If the date was embarrassed maybe she will update her photos to avoid a repeat situation. Much better for everyone.

The same effect would have been achieved without the blunt words. If you can be effective without being rude, that's always the way to go.

I am certain that all of you defending OP would be incredibly hurt if people called you out on all your little foibles and lies. Don't pretend you never lie or make yourself out to be better than you are.

How could OP have left without saying something about why (unless he lied and just faked an unrelated emergency or something)?

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid this isn't going to work out. Have a nice evening."

This is what polite people say, when they discover their date has significantly misrepresented themselves.

The implication is obvious, *but unsaid*, to allow everyone to save face. The date goes home knowing exactly why it didn't work out, but is able to hold their head up while on the way home. It's called diplomacy, and some brutal posters on here, including the OP, really need to develop some.

Don't kid yourselves that you wouldn't be hurt if someone used blunt and embarrassing words to shame you in public. And don't kid yourselves that you haven't had your share of little lies.

Golden rule, etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You were unnecessarily rude, OP and you hurt this poor woman when she didn't deserve it. There are ways of leaving diplomatically. I promise you, a man excusing himself makes the message that you should post more accurate photos devastatingly clear. No rudeness necessary!

No, not rude but honest. Liars like Ops date should try living honestly and see if their interpersonal interactions improve. But OP doesn’t owe kindness and gratitude to someone who deliberately mislead him. If the date was embarrassed maybe she will update her photos to avoid a repeat situation. Much better for everyone.

The same effect would have been achieved without the blunt words. If you can be effective without being rude, that's always the way to go.

I am certain that all of you defending OP would be incredibly hurt if people called you out on all your little foibles and lies. Don't pretend you never lie or make yourself out to be better than you are.

I for one have never put up misleading pics of myself ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You were unnecessarily rude, OP and you hurt this poor woman when she didn't deserve it. There are ways of leaving diplomatically. I promise you, a man excusing himself makes the message that you should post more accurate photos devastatingly clear. No rudeness necessary!

No, not rude but honest. Liars like Ops date should try living honestly and see if their interpersonal interactions improve. But OP doesn’t owe kindness and gratitude to someone who deliberately mislead him. If the date was embarrassed maybe she will update her photos to avoid a repeat situation. Much better for everyone.

The same effect would have been achieved without the blunt words. If you can be effective without being rude, that's always the way to go.

I am certain that all of you defending OP would be incredibly hurt if people called you out on all your little foibles and lies. Don't pretend you never lie or make yourself out to be better than you are.

How could OP have left without saying something about why (unless he lied and just faked an unrelated emergency or something)?

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid this isn't going to work out. Have a nice evening."

This is what polite people say, when they discover their date has significantly misrepresented themselves.

The implication is obvious, *but unsaid*, to allow everyone to save face. The date goes home knowing exactly why it didn't work out, but is able to hold their head up while on the way home. It's called diplomacy, and some brutal posters on here, including the OP, really need to develop some.

Don't kid yourselves that you wouldn't be hurt if someone used blunt and embarrassing words to shame you in public. And don't kid yourselves that you haven't had your share of little lies.

Golden rule, etc...

Liars and tricksters don’t deserve kindness. OP owes that woman no such thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a man I will say that women are less likely than men to misrepresent themselves online.

Back to OP. You are a piece of sh**t. You are void of basic human decency. Even if you felt deceived you could have just spent the date with her, enjoy a few laughs and that's it. And second for most of guys dates are cheap. It's easy for us to quickly get ready no need for make up for sexy underwater for eyeliners etc. we just need to wear clothes that are clean and fit well and smell good, brush out teeth and come with a positive attitude.

My friend I am afraid you will be single for a very long time. And you may also have miss an opportunity to smash. Of I forgot she is fat give me a break lol.

Do better next time okay buddy!

You like smashing women with fat p**y. Gross

Fat pu**y beats bony pu**y every damned time, not that it matters to you, because you're not getting any of either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You were unnecessarily rude, OP and you hurt this poor woman when she didn't deserve it. There are ways of leaving diplomatically. I promise you, a man excusing himself makes the message that you should post more accurate photos devastatingly clear. No rudeness necessary!

No, not rude but honest. Liars like Ops date should try living honestly and see if their interpersonal interactions improve. But OP doesn’t owe kindness and gratitude to someone who deliberately mislead him. If the date was embarrassed maybe she will update her photos to avoid a repeat situation. Much better for everyone.

The same effect would have been achieved without the blunt words. If you can be effective without being rude, that's always the way to go.

I am certain that all of you defending OP would be incredibly hurt if people called you out on all your little foibles and lies. Don't pretend you never lie or make yourself out to be better than you are.

How could OP have left without saying something about why (unless he lied and just faked an unrelated emergency or something)?

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid this isn't going to work out. Have a nice evening."

This is what polite people say, when they discover their date has significantly misrepresented themselves.

The implication is obvious, *but unsaid*, to allow everyone to save face. The date goes home knowing exactly why it didn't work out, but is able to hold their head up while on the way home. It's called diplomacy, and some brutal posters on here, including the OP, really need to develop some.

Don't kid yourselves that you wouldn't be hurt if someone used blunt and embarrassing words to shame you in public. And don't kid yourselves that you haven't had your share of little lies.

Golden rule, etc...

Liars and tricksters don’t deserve kindness. OP owes that woman no such thing.

By your "logic" nobody should be treated kindly. Everyone has lied, and will. You can put some sort of weight system on that, but the reality is that humans lie. All of us. You've told lies, and so have I.

Treat other liars the way you'd want to be treated by someone who discovered your brand of BS, because what goes around comes around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man I will say that women are less likely than men to misrepresent themselves online.

Back to OP. You are a piece of sh**t. You are void of basic human decency. Even if you felt deceived you could have just spent the date with her, enjoy a few laughs and that's it. And second for most of guys dates are cheap. It's easy for us to quickly get ready no need for make up for sexy underwater for eyeliners etc. we just need to wear clothes that are clean and fit well and smell good, brush out teeth and come with a positive attitude.

My friend I am afraid you will be single for a very long time. And you may also have miss an opportunity to smash. Of I forgot she is fat give me a break lol.

Do better next time okay buddy!

I love you. Thank you.