Goal as a parent for DC to never work non-prof jobs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Where are your kids learning those skills?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also grew up like you. I absolutely want my kids to do some "regular" jobs. I want them to question the value of interning ie working for free. I never did that. I couldn't afford to.

+1. It might sound dumb but they need to develop appreciation for this type of work and the people who do it. I don’t want them to see service workers as less than them. It also will help them to appreciate the value in going into a professional job and earning real money someday.

I feel this way too. I think there’s value to both types of experiences and will make my kids have at least one minimum wage job at some point.

[Anonymous]

I grew up poor and worked as soon as I was able. I absolutely want my kids to work and learn the value of a dollar. Problem is my teen is very busy with sports, clubs and studying. I’m not sure when he would fit in working at the mall.

[Anonymous]

Oh, I absolutely want my kids to have “regular” jobs while they are in high school. And they have. They’ve learned a lot, worked hard, and really enjoyed these jobs as well. I see only upsides to this as part of their growing up experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up blue collar so I didn't know any teens/20s who never worked 'regular' summer jobs - retail, lifeguarding, babysitting, bussing tables, etc. We did it to earn spending money and contribute to college expenses but also because it was just what we did with our time for better or worse.

Now that I am UMC and live among other UMC families, I have noticed many of the teens/20s only so something outside of school if it's 'professional' - internships, travel, volunteering, summer classes.

Is your goal as a parent for your DC to never have to work a 'menial' job? Is it a new 10%er badge of honor for your DC to never have had to work a job that didn't enrich them or is in line with what they like?

This sounds judgy but it's really not - I'm curious if some parents would find they succeeded if their DC never had to work a nothing-burger job.

We don't look down upon menial jobs as one learns from every experience and no job is beneath anyone. However, we didn't want our kids to do any because there are only so many hours in a day and to do well in life, they had to focus on studies, extracurriculars, internships, sports, volunteer work and sleep.

We don't believe in making kids suffer to build character, work ethics or value of money, there are so many other ways to teach them. There is no sense of pride in it, only a satisfaction that we are able to spare kids of struggles by making sacrifices ourselves and not focusing on upgrading our own lifestyle.

Working a menial job as a 16-year old is “suffering”? You are an out of touch fool.

I know, right? The go getters are not working fast food. When I was in college a lot of my friends would get summer jobs at resorts. Life guard, servers, activities assistants plus. Cape Cod and the Islands were popular places to get a job and if you were lucky they would have dorm style housing available. Camps of course need college age help. They get to do what they love like teaching swimming or the arts putting a full play together. They meet college students from all over. Now there are camps specializing in high tech which brings another whole level of opportunities for making money.

Seasonal work doesn’t involve fast food restaurants. They can do landscaping, work on a farm, do something that they never would have thought of. Some of you are very limited in your thinking.

[Anonymous]

It’s interesting how many posts we get on here saying “my kids don’t hang out with friends” or “how to make them be more active” jobs are a solution to both of those. I got out a lot of teen energy bagging groceries and getting shopping carts and hung out with friends after work almost every shift. You can meet kids from other high schools getting a wider circle of friends too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

I know, right? For a few more thousand, they can go volunteer for a few weeks in Belize or somewhere. Come back with a nice tan.

At the very least, you can have them write the content for the website for the sham nonprofit you create for them. Then they at least learn how to sound compassionate.

[Anonymous]

I grew up middle class, my parents grew up poor. My kids will be UMC. I worked different retail and temp jobs until I landed my first professional job out of college. I firmly believe that everyone should work either retail or a restaurant job at least once. And I expect my children to work these jobs too once they are 16. I do see young people who just have summers off in college or who don’t get a summer job in HS because it interferes with their fancy vacations and I judge the parents for coddling their kids. I wonder how they teach them the value of hard work or the value of a dollar when they hand everything to their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up poor and worked as soon as I was able. I absolutely want my kids to work and learn the value of a dollar. Problem is my teen is very busy with sports, clubs and studying. I’m not sure when he would fit in working at the mall.

Let him figure out how to fit it in. I played a D1 sport and managed a job all summer in HS and college. Generally you have a practice and travel schedule that you simply work around. He’s not doing two-a-days at weird hours. If he’s got executive function issues you can assist but giving him a pass because “oh he’s so busy!” Is a joke. The only thing he has to do in the summer is sports. Clubs and studying don’t happen then.

[Anonymous]

OP, you ask a very good question. I wondered this, for myself, and for raising my kids. I thought it was strange that teens weren't working. I went to a W school, parents had lots of money and I seemed to be the only one who always had a summer job. I had to hustle for it. I didn't know what my friends/peers thought of it. They weren't doing it and I didn't know why.

For my own kids, I expected them to look for a summer job at 15, and certainly be successful securing a summer job at 16. They worked every summer. Nothing fancy.

[Anonymous]

I'm a lawyer who worked food service through school. I think it's an incredibly useful skill to have. My cousin had an absolute disaster with the catering at her wedding and my brother and I fed 150 people with about 12 hours notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up poor and worked as soon as I was able. I absolutely want my kids to work and learn the value of a dollar. Problem is my teen is very busy with sports, clubs and studying. I’m not sure when he would fit in working at the mall.

Let him figure out how to fit it in. I played a D1 sport and managed a job all summer in HS and college. Generally you have a practice and travel schedule that you simply work around. He’s not doing two-a-days at weird hours. If he’s got executive function issues you can assist but giving him a pass because “oh he’s so busy!” Is a joke. The only thing he has to do in the summer is sports. Clubs and studying don’t happen then.

He absolutely will be doing something over the summer. I just don’t know if working at McDonald’s or other menial job would be the best use of his time. He will likely be doing some sort of research or internship. Yes, it will likely be something Dh or I secure for him.

I am undecided if having a menial job is good for character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s interesting how many posts we get on here saying “my kids don’t hang out with friends” or “how to make them be more active” jobs are a solution to both of those. I got out a lot of teen energy bagging groceries and getting shopping carts and hung out with friends after work almost every shift. You can meet kids from other high schools getting a wider circle of friends too.

Do you want a cookie?

[Anonymous]

All the high school athletes can ref on weekends. Doesn’t interfere with their own sports schedules and they make really good money. All my kids d1 friends did it in their respective sport while in high school.

[Anonymous]

Hope you choke on your "cookie" pp
You couldn't be more lame