Goal as a parent for DC to never work non-prof jobs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. My Senior had an internship working on a project with the James Webb Telescope. This is in the field of her desired career. Next summer, she wants to study abroad with an internship that is painter has stipend and expenses within the same field. I want experiences that contribute to her desired career only. She will not be needing to know what shift work is like so it is unimportant for her to have a “nothingburger” job.

Fine, as long as she refrains from ever voicing opinions about what working class people should or shouldn’t do to improve their situation. And watch out for her sense of self-importance. When she eventually gets her desired career, she’ll likely work alongside people who have had “nothingburger” jobs, and they can smell that from a mile away.

This is so real. For better or worse people can attach a lot of meaning to lack of real world work experience and attribute negative characteristics to people who haven’t worked a service industry job. There is absolutely judgement and a lack of respect for those who are perceived as having taken the cushy way out of working a “real” job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. My Senior had an internship working on a project with the James Webb Telescope. This is in the field of her desired career. Next summer, she wants to study abroad with an internship that is painter has stipend and expenses within the same field. I want experiences that contribute to her desired career only. She will not be needing to know what shift work is like so it is unimportant for her to have a “nothingburger” job.

Fine, as long as she refrains from ever voicing opinions about what working class people should or shouldn’t do to improve their situation. And watch out for her sense of self-importance. When she eventually gets her desired career, she’ll likely work alongside people who have had “nothingburger” jobs, and they can smell that from a mile away.

This is so real. For better or worse people can attach a lot of meaning to lack of real world work experience and attribute negative characteristics to people who haven’t worked a service industry job. There is absolutely judgement and a lack of respect for those who are perceived as having taken the cushy way out of working a “real” job.

I honestly have never once asked a co-worker about any of their HS jobs. I have no idea if they shoveled shit for years or sipped tea with their pinky turned up on the country club all the time.

If someone acts like a dick, I also don’t ask if they ever had a menial job or not…I just say they are a douche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. My Senior had an internship working on a project with the James Webb Telescope. This is in the field of her desired career. Next summer, she wants to study abroad with an internship that is painter has stipend and expenses within the same field. I want experiences that contribute to her desired career only. She will not be needing to know what shift work is like so it is unimportant for her to have a “nothingburger” job.

Fine, as long as she refrains from ever voicing opinions about what working class people should or shouldn’t do to improve their situation. And watch out for her sense of self-importance. When she eventually gets her desired career, she’ll likely work alongside people who have had “nothingburger” jobs, and they can smell that from a mile away.[/b]

This is so real. For better or worse people can attach a lot of meaning to lack of real world work experience and attribute negative characteristics to people who haven’t worked a service industry job. There is absolutely judgement and a lack of respect for those who are perceived as having taken the cushy way out of working a “real” job.

There is far harsher judgement for those who came up.poor and had to do those jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No job is beneath you.

My young adult son is twenty-six years old and has just finished his MBA at University of Chicago Booth school of business. From the age of thirteen until eighteen, he worked at a country club to clean up golf carts, golf clubs, pick up trash on tennis courts, etc... He also played jr. golf at that time. Working at a country club allowed him to practice at the driving range and improved his golf game. That opportunity only opens up connections later on. He went to a D3 school and played golf there. He received a job after college from one of the connections he made at the country club. When he applied for MBA school, one of the members of the club was a sustaining donnor to the University of Chicago, and he called the school on my son's behalf. He got a job offered by another member of the club upon receiving his MBA degree. It is not what you know but who you know (or who knows you).

Yes rich people helping other rich people out. That usually is the case

Wrong. Kids with rich parents do not work at country clubs doing menial work. Rich people don't help anyone unless they bring something to the table. This kid played junior golf, and he was probably good. That's the reason they wanted to help him.

I wrote a post earlier that my husband worked as a caddie at the country club his family belonged to. He was also on the swim team and the jr golf team.

If the poster you’re talking about was a caddie the members would get to know him. If he just cleaned up it’s doubtful.

+1

As previously mentioned, unless you bring something to the table, rich people will not help you. If you play varsity or college golf, the answer would be yes, even if you clean up the golf clubs at the country club. Rich people love to hang out with talented people because they always want to improve their handicap scores. If you're there to clean up, highly likely no.

He didn’t play at the club! Because he worked there they allowed him to use the driving range. That’s it. He probably had a great personality and got to know a lot of the senior club members. They like him, he had the grades, and golf ability, he asked them for references, they gave them to him. I’m just guessing but if this were true it says more positive things about the student than just playing golf.

What a ridiculous statement to make describing all people as one based on income level. Not true.

[Anonymous]

I am low income. I won’t make my kid work a menial job on principle; only if he needs the money. Poverty doesn’t teach you anything, it just gives you scars. Menial jobs don’t teach you anything except for the fact that with the right attitude to learning you wouldn’t have to break your back and would be paid so much more per hour.
I despise people who view menial jobs as some sort of poverty romanticism, let’s put it like that.
If you can afford for your child to only work professional jobs - good for you, consider yourself lucky and roll with it.

[Anonymous]

Some people here have twisted ideas about what they call menial jobs. We are talking about 16 through 23 years old working a job usually meant for their age group and it’s for spending money or to save for a car or college. It’s not about poverty unless the teen needs to work to help with bills.

It’s not a negative and it’s hardly ever back breaking. If it is hard labor work then it’s not a problem for healthy young people. Some would welcome that kind of work over sitting in front of a desk all day.

It’s a good time to get work experience. Internships for high schoolers consist of making copies or entering data into a computer all day. Even worse setting up meeting rooms and getting lunch orders. Save that for the later college years when you have something to offer.

Most of these high school / college jobs aren’t even menial jobs. They are lower income jobs working as camp counselors, retail jobs, waitress jobs, ice cream places open for a season, basic office work that requires very little skill.

Very few are in the fields picking fruit or vegetables for 12 hours a day or working in a factory under dangerous conditions alongside 12 year old migrants.

A lot of them might work in professional jobs once they are done learning at school. Some might end up being a receptionist at an insurance company or a department store manager.

Anyway don’t let anyone try to romanticize these jobs. They are what they are, summer jobs, year round jobs, part time jobs, whatever the worker needs ithe job to be.

[Anonymous]

If menial jobs were so life changing, cycle of poverty wouldn't continue in generations. Yes, you do learn many skills there so by all means do that instead of wasting time doing nothing but if there are better options available and affordable, avail those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. My Senior had an internship working on a project with the James Webb Telescope. This is in the field of her desired career. Next summer, she wants to study abroad with an internship that is painter has stipend and expenses within the same field. I want experiences that contribute to her desired career only. She will not be needing to know what shift work is like so it is unimportant for her to have a “nothingburger” job.

Fine, as long as she refrains from ever voicing opinions about what working class people should or shouldn’t do to improve their situation. And watch out for her sense of self-importance. When she eventually gets her desired career, she’ll likely work alongside people who have had “nothingburger” jobs, and they can smell that from a mile away.[/b]

This is so real. For better or worse people can attach a lot of meaning to lack of real world work experience and attribute negative characteristics to people who haven’t worked a service industry job. There is absolutely judgement and a lack of respect for those who are perceived as having taken the cushy way out of working a “real” job.

There is far harsher judgement for those who came up.poor and had to do those jobs.

So sad that you associate these jobs with being poor. I’ve nannied for some very wealthy people and many of their kids worked in these types of jobs. A few summers ago I was hired to drive a 15 yr old kid to/from work mucking out stables and cutting huge expanses of grass. The kid came home exhausted, sweaty, and dirty every day. He was always happy and proud to earn his paycheck. Then he went back to school at his ritzy boarding school. His parents were loaded but his they didn’t grow up that way.

[Anonymous]

It's not a badge of honor, but if the teens don't need the extra money and they have the spare time, it's a nice thing to do and gives the kids experience. My does both volunteering and paid jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you ask a very good question. I wondered this, for myself, and for raising my kids. I thought it was strange that teens weren't working. I went to a W school, parents had lots of money and I seemed to be the only one who always had a summer job. I had to hustle for it. I didn't know what my friends/peers thought of it. They weren't doing it and I didn't know why.

For my own kids, I expected them to look for a summer job at 15, and certainly be successful securing a summer job at 16. They worked every summer. Nothing fancy.

For my husband his father prioritized a work ethic starting at age 14. He caddied at the country club his family belonged to. He was a lifeguard in summer camps at 16. He was also able to be on the club’s swim team and played on a jr golf team so that “too busy with sports” is for people who make excuses. In college he was waiting tables. His college was paid for but he earned his own spending money.

His father succeeded in instilling a strong work ethic in him that has served him well in life.

Big deal he had money to fall back on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. My Senior had an internship working on a project with the James Webb Telescope. This is in the field of her desired career. Next summer, she wants to study abroad with an internship that is painter has stipend and expenses within the same field. I want experiences that contribute to her desired career only. She will not be needing to know what shift work is like so it is unimportant for her to have a “nothingburger” job.

Fine, as long as she refrains from ever voicing opinions about what working class people should or shouldn’t do to improve their situation. And watch out for her sense of self-importance. When she eventually gets her desired career, she’ll likely work alongside people who have had “nothingburger” jobs, and they can smell that from a mile away.

This is so real. For better or worse people can attach a lot of meaning to lack of real world work experience and attribute negative characteristics to people who haven’t worked a service industry job. There is absolutely judgement and a lack of respect for those who are perceived as having taken the cushy way out of working a “real” job.

I honestly have never once asked a co-worker about any of their HS jobs. I have no idea if they shoveled shit for years or sipped tea with their pinky turned up on the country club all the time.

If someone acts like a dick, I also don’t ask if they ever had a menial job or not…I just say they are a douche.

I think you should ask them and see if there is a correlation, because I would not be surprised if there were!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. My Senior had an internship working on a project with the James Webb Telescope. This is in the field of her desired career. Next summer, she wants to study abroad with an internship that is painter has stipend and expenses within the same field. I want experiences that contribute to her desired career only. She will not be needing to know what shift work is like so it is unimportant for her to have a “nothingburger” job.

Fine, as long as she refrains from ever voicing opinions about what working class people should or shouldn’t do to improve their situation. And watch out for her sense of self-importance. When she eventually gets her desired career, she’ll likely work alongside people who have had “nothingburger” jobs, and they can smell that from a mile away.

This is so real. For better or worse people can attach a lot of meaning to lack of real world work experience and attribute negative characteristics to people who haven’t worked a service industry job. There is absolutely judgement and a lack of respect for those who are perceived as having taken the cushy way out of working a “real” job.

I honestly have never once asked a co-worker about any of their HS jobs. I have no idea if they shoveled shit for years or sipped tea with their pinky turned up on the country club all the time.

If someone acts like a dick, I also don’t ask if they ever had a menial job or not…I just say they are a douche.

That's the way to go. If you're going to be judgy, judge people on their current character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. My Senior had an internship working on a project with the James Webb Telescope. This is in the field of her desired career. Next summer, she wants to study abroad with an internship that is painter has stipend and expenses within the same field. I want experiences that contribute to her desired career only. She will not be needing to know what shift work is like so it is unimportant for her to have a “nothingburger” job.

Fine, as long as she refrains from ever voicing opinions about what working class people should or shouldn’t do to improve their situation. And watch out for her sense of self-importance. When she eventually gets her desired career, she’ll likely work alongside people who have had “nothingburger” jobs, and they can smell that from a mile away.

This is so real. For better or worse people can attach a lot of meaning to lack of real world work experience and attribute negative characteristics to people who haven’t worked a service industry job. There is absolutely judgement and a lack of respect for those who are perceived as having taken the cushy way out of working a “real” job.

I honestly have never once asked a co-worker about any of their HS jobs. I have no idea if they shoveled shit for years or sipped tea with their pinky turned up on the country club all the time.

If someone acts like a dick, I also don’t ask if they ever had a menial job or not…I just say they are a douche.

I think you should ask them and see if there is a correlation, because I would not be surprised if there were!

DP. Are you sure you're not just confirming your biases? Having grown up in a blue collar area and now living in a UMC area, I will swear by this observation: douches exist in all populations. I have not noticed any "correlation." You've just got to learn to deal with douches in life.

[Anonymous]

This is an interesting topic, OP. I have a different perspective.

I grew up Middle Class but attended a very expensive prep school on a scholarship. I made money as a teen through babysitting gigs, though my parents limited how much I worked because school came first. We had all of our needs covered, but my parents never gave us spending money so any eating out or movies or unnecessary clothes came out of my earnings. I noticed, though, that very few of my classmates had jobs at all. During the school year, they were 100% focused on school and extra-curriculars and during the summer they often traveled with family or, as you mentioned, had interesting internships.

Fast forward to now in our upper middle class DC suburb, I am surprised by how many people push their kids into retail type jobs, focusing on the benefits and virtues over the child's academics or career-oriented goals.

I worked out of necessity and, even then, as little as I could. It really surprises me to see kids working at Target for many hours per week. I am not sure the benefit outweighs the downside.

[Anonymous]

I definitely want my kid to do some sort of retail, restaurant, or other customer facing job.

I wish every young person even/especially ones from rich families would do SOME sort of “hard” job either retail, restaurant, daycare worker, whatever. I really think the worst kind of people in our society never did those things and that is why they treat those people so awfully, either/both in politics (bootstraps etc) or in how they personally treat those employees in restaurants, customer service and other situations.
I’m a conservative.