Goal as a parent for DC to never work non-prof jobs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Where are your kids learning those skills?

NP, not the PP who everyone is mocking. We're UMC and college DS has never had a hamburger-flipping job. He just went straight to the professional environment jobs / internships in media. law, lobbying and now consulting.

He has a shit ton of grit and excellent people skills, and selective (not universal) compassion.

Places where he learned grit:

backcountry backpacking and camping
graduating from a crazy rigorous, soul sucking school that causes kids to have mental breakdowns
engaging in a dangerous, frustrating hobby for years (think ice climbing or welding)
living with a chronic, managed disease

Places where he learned compassion:
caring for dying relative, including toileting and feeding
caring for his sick and dying pets
holding his dog while his dog died, so that the dog's last image would be the loving face of my DS
protecting his childhood classmate with cognitive deficits from classroom bullies

Working the greasy griddle isn't the only way

I've worked with dozens of kids like yours. They're largely worthless.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Where are your kids learning those skills?

NP, not the PP who everyone is mocking. We're UMC and college DS has never had a hamburger-flipping job. He just went straight to the professional environment jobs / internships in media. law, lobbying and now consulting.

He has a shit ton of grit and excellent people skills, and selective (not universal) compassion.

Places where he learned grit:

backcountry backpacking and camping
graduating from a crazy rigorous, soul sucking school that causes kids to have mental breakdowns
engaging in a dangerous, frustrating hobby for years (think ice climbing or welding)
living with a chronic, managed disease

Places where he learned compassion:
caring for dying relative, including toileting and feeding
caring for his sick and dying pets
holding his dog while his dog died, so that the dog's last image would be the loving face of my DS
protecting his childhood classmate with cognitive deficits from classroom bullies

Working the greasy griddle isn't the only way

I've worked with dozens of kids like yours. They're largely worthless.

+1 made for consulting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Where are your kids learning those skills?

NP, not the PP who everyone is mocking. We're UMC and college DS has never had a hamburger-flipping job. He just went straight to the professional environment jobs / internships in media. law, lobbying and now consulting.

He has a shit ton of grit and excellent people skills, and selective (not universal) compassion.

Places where he learned grit:

backcountry backpacking and camping
graduating from a crazy rigorous, soul sucking school that causes kids to have mental breakdowns
engaging in a dangerous, frustrating hobby for years (think ice climbing or welding)
living with a chronic, managed disease

Places where he learned compassion:
caring for dying relative, including toileting and feeding
caring for his sick and dying pets
holding his dog while his dog died, so that the dog's last image would be the loving face of my DS
protecting his childhood classmate with cognitive deficits from classroom bullies

Working the greasy griddle isn't the only way

I've worked with dozens of kids like yours. They're largely worthless.

I guess you are indirectly proving PP’s point that these “worthless” kids aren’t having any issues finding jobs.

In fact…seems like you work with a lot of them.

[Anonymous]

I think high school/early college is a great time to experience these types of jobs and that there is a lot of value in working them. But I do think it is important to experience a few internships in potential fields where you may want to work. I didn’t do that in college and spent several years figuring out what I wanted to do. Not saying internships are the perfect way to figure out what you want to do- but I think it helps. No one encouraged me to do an internship. Everyone I grew up with got summer beach jobs, so that is what I did. I think there is a balance and I hope my kids do a bit of both before they are done with schooling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Where are your kids learning those skills?

NP, not the PP who everyone is mocking. We're UMC and college DS has never had a hamburger-flipping job. He just went straight to the professional environment jobs / internships in media. law, lobbying and now consulting.

He has a shit ton of grit and excellent people skills, and selective (not universal) compassion.

Places where he learned grit:

backcountry backpacking and camping
graduating from a crazy rigorous, soul sucking school that causes kids to have mental breakdowns
engaging in a dangerous, frustrating hobby for years (think ice climbing or welding)
living with a chronic, managed disease

Places where he learned compassion:
caring for dying relative, including toileting and feeding
caring for his sick and dying pets
holding his dog while his dog died, so that the dog's last image would be the loving face of my DS
protecting his childhood classmate with cognitive deficits from classroom bullies

Working the greasy griddle isn't the only way

I've worked with dozens of kids like yours. They're largely worthless.

I guess you are indirectly proving PP’s point that these “worthless” kids aren’t having any issues finding jobs.

In fact…seems like you work with a lot of them.

DP. No one’s claiming they can’t find jobs. Certainly not in law, lobbying or consulting.

[Anonymous]

This kid is a bum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think high school/early college is a great time to experience these types of jobs and that there is a lot of value in working them. But I do think it is important to experience a few internships in potential fields where you may want to work. I didn’t do that in college and spent several years figuring out what I wanted to do. Not saying internships are the perfect way to figure out what you want to do- but I think it helps. No one encouraged me to do an internship. Everyone I grew up with got summer beach jobs, so that is what I did. I think there is a balance and I hope my kids do a bit of both before they are done with schooling.

This seems like a healthy, balanced outlook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Where are your kids learning those skills?

Exactly! It’s ok to not want them to wash dishes and other “crappy jobs” as you wrote, but where are they learning the skills instead??

If you are seriously asking a question, I will seriously answer:
they can learn work ethic by helping to build a house with Habitat for Humanity;
they can learn compassion by translating for migrants trying to enroll their own children into school;
they can learn people skills by working as a receptionist at my firm and offering coffee and an apology to clients who are pissed that they have to wait 90 seconds to meet me.
And guess what? In these environments, they won't be sexually harassed or be made to feel stupid because they have a low rank.

Take a poll with college students on which job they would prefer for the summer, a cocktail waitress at a summer resort making $500 a night or sit at a desk all day greeting people for $20 an hour?

You are clueless.

Take a poll with recent college graduates on how many have actual professional jobs.

You are a clueless (in a way that can really damage a young person's prospects in life). But your point is well taken.

What amazes me is how many parents here think their kids are going to slide right into some big money professional job at graduation.

The subject is summer jobs for high schoolers and college students. So this parent suggests a receptionist job to see how the underlings feel. That’s not the reason for summer jobs. And her college graduate will know what it feels to have a low level office job soon enough.

No one thinks that their kid is just going to "slide" into some big money professional job. That's why you spend $50,000 per year by the time the kid is in 2nd grade to pay to obtain mad math skills or learn multiple languages. It won't happen just daydreaming through life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Where are your kids learning those skills?

NP, not the PP who everyone is mocking. We're UMC and college DS has never had a hamburger-flipping job. He just went straight to the professional environment jobs / internships in media. law, lobbying and now consulting.

He has a shit ton of grit and excellent people skills, and selective (not universal) compassion.

Places where he learned grit:

backcountry backpacking and camping
graduating from a crazy rigorous, soul sucking school that causes kids to have mental breakdowns
engaging in a dangerous, frustrating hobby for years (think ice climbing or welding)
living with a chronic, managed disease

Places where he learned compassion:
caring for dying relative, including toileting and feeding
caring for his sick and dying pets
holding his dog while his dog died, so that the dog's last image would be the loving face of my DS
protecting his childhood classmate with cognitive deficits from classroom bullies

Working the greasy griddle isn't the only way

This is so weird

It answers a snarky rhetorical question with concrete examples. Addressing the dozens of posters who weirdly think the only way to learn grit is to sweat over a grill or be abused by nasty shoppers or something

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Where are your kids learning those skills?

NP, not the PP who everyone is mocking. We're UMC and college DS has never had a hamburger-flipping job. He just went straight to the professional environment jobs / internships in media. law, lobbying and now consulting.

He has a shit ton of grit and excellent people skills, and selective (not universal) compassion.

Places where he learned grit:

backcountry backpacking and camping
graduating from a crazy rigorous, soul sucking school that causes kids to have mental breakdowns
engaging in a dangerous, frustrating hobby for years (think ice climbing or welding)
living with a chronic, managed disease

Places where he learned compassion:
caring for dying relative, including toileting and feeding
caring for his sick and dying pets
holding his dog while his dog died, so that the dog's last image would be the loving face of my DS
protecting his childhood classmate with cognitive deficits from classroom bullies

Working the greasy griddle isn't the only way

I've worked with dozens of kids like yours. They're largely worthless.

His managers don’t share your opinion though. Their opinion and recommendations matter, not yours.

Enjoy the GS13 life though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No job is beneath you.

My young adult son is twenty-six years old and has just finished his MBA at University of Chicago Booth school of business. From the age of thirteen until eighteen, he worked at a country club to clean up golf carts, golf clubs, pick up trash on tennis courts, etc... He also played jr. golf at that time. Working at a country club allowed him to practice at the driving range and improved his golf game. That opportunity only opens up connections later on. He went to a D3 school and played golf there. He received a job after college from one of the connections he made at the country club. When he applied for MBA school, one of the members of the club was a sustaining donnor to the University of Chicago, and he called the school on my son's behalf. He got a job offered by another member of the club upon receiving his MBA degree. It is not what you know but who you know (or who knows you).

Yes rich people helping other rich people out. That usually is the case

Wrong. Kids with rich parents do not work at country clubs doing menial work. Rich people don't help anyone unless they bring something to the table. This kid played junior golf, and he was probably good. That's the reason they wanted to help him.

I wrote a post earlier that my husband worked as a caddie at the country club his family belonged to. He was also on the swim team and the jr golf team.

If the poster you’re talking about was a caddie the members would get to know him. If he just cleaned up it’s doubtful.

+1

As previously mentioned, unless you bring something to the table, rich people will not help you. If you play varsity or college golf, the answer would be yes, even if you clean up the golf clubs at the country club. Rich people love to hang out with talented people because they always want to improve their handicap scores. If you're there to clean up, highly likely no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Where are your kids learning those skills?

NP, not the PP who everyone is mocking. We're UMC and college DS has never had a hamburger-flipping job. He just went straight to the professional environment jobs / internships in media. law, lobbying and now consulting.

He has a shit ton of grit and excellent people skills, and selective (not universal) compassion.

Places where he learned grit:

backcountry backpacking and camping
graduating from a crazy rigorous, soul sucking school that causes kids to have mental breakdowns
engaging in a dangerous, frustrating hobby for years (think ice climbing or welding)
living with a chronic, managed disease

Places where he learned compassion:
caring for dying relative, including toileting and feeding
caring for his sick and dying pets
holding his dog while his dog died, so that the dog's last image would be the loving face of my DS
protecting his childhood classmate with cognitive deficits from classroom bullies

Working the greasy griddle isn't the only way

This is so weird

It answers a snarky rhetorical question with concrete examples. Addressing the dozens of posters who weirdly think the only way to learn grit is to sweat over a grill or be abused by nasty shoppers or something

I’m getting “nasty shopper who abuses wage employees” vibes from this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up blue collar so I didn't know any teens/20s who never worked 'regular' summer jobs - retail, lifeguarding, babysitting, bussing tables, etc. We did it to earn spending money and contribute to college expenses but also because it was just what we did with our time for better or worse.

Now that I am UMC and live among other UMC families, I have noticed many of the teens/20s only so something outside of school if it's 'professional' - internships, travel, volunteering, summer classes.

Is your goal as a parent for your DC to never have to work a 'menial' job? Is it a new 10%er badge of honor for your DC to never have had to work a job that didn't enrich them or is in line with what they like?

This sounds judgy but it's really not - I'm curious if some parents would find they succeeded if their DC never had to work a nothing-burger job.

Look, people can't have it both ways. My kid wants to work but had trouble finding places that will a) take HS kids and b) recognize that they need a flexible schedule due to school, sports, dr. appts. etc. That's fine, they're not required to do that and if htey don't want HS kids - FINE. But my kids, and many of their friends, were not able to find jobs this summer for that reason. Only the kids who HAD to work for money and who didn't have other academic/travel/sports commitments were able to have jobs and they were able to work the non-flexible hours offered. There were a few kids who found super flexible scheduled jobs but those were the exception, not the rule.

[Anonymous]

(UMC Gen Z here) I personally made very sure that I never worked at a menial job growing up. My parents told me I had to do either internships, research or a retail job over the summer, so I determinedly applied to the first two to avoid the retail. I had friends who did have to work menial jobs and it sounded absolutely horrible.

That said, I do think those menial jobs teach grit and are good at motivating kids to reach for white collar work so they never have to suffer thorough customer abuse or physical labor again. My husband came from poor-middle class and having to work that type of job as a kid motivated him to go to college and escape that environment. So I wouldn’t be opposed to my kids doing those jobs if they’re unmotivated to find internships.

Hanging around my husband’s family occasionally and hearing about their dead end menial work is quite soul sucking, so I hope that’s a good motivator as well. The world is also much stricter for such people - for example, they’re delighted to get 4 weeks paid leave after several years at their job whereas for white collar work it’s very standard to get 4 weeks to start. So I do hope my kids see the juxtaposition and realize they want to reach for a better life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Where are your kids learning those skills?

Exactly! It’s ok to not want them to wash dishes and other “crappy jobs” as you wrote, but where are they learning the skills instead??

If you are seriously asking a question, I will seriously answer:
they can learn work ethic by helping to build a house with Habitat for Humanity;
they can learn compassion by translating for migrants trying to enroll their own children into school;
they can learn people skills by working as a receptionist at my firm and offering coffee and an apology to clients who are pissed that they have to wait 90 seconds to meet me.
And guess what? In these environments, they won't be sexually harassed or be made to feel stupid because they have a low rank.

Take a poll with college students on which job they would prefer for the summer, a cocktail waitress at a summer resort making $500 a night or sit at a desk all day greeting people for $20 an hour?

You are clueless.

Take a poll with recent college graduates on how many have actual professional jobs.

You are a clueless (in a way that can really damage a young person's prospects in life). But your point is well taken.

What amazes me is how many parents here think their kids are going to slide right into some big money professional job at graduation.

The subject is summer jobs for high schoolers and college students. So this parent suggests a receptionist job to see how the underlings feel. That’s not the reason for summer jobs. And her college graduate will know what it feels to have a low level office job soon enough.

No one thinks that their kid is just going to "slide" into some big money professional job. That's why you spend $50,000 per year by the time the kid is in 2nd grade to pay to obtain mad math skills or learn multiple languages. It won't happen just daydreaming through life.

You know a kid’s in trouble when their parents are keeping track of the money they spend on the kid.