Goal as a parent for DC to never work non-prof jobs?

[Anonymous]

My goal as a parent is to stay the heck out of his life. He is 17, and I can see he hasn't left his father's house in a month.
I'm not interested in getting involved in his life at all. He will greatly benefit both parents staying out.
He will be fine.
I'm not doing any pushing for service jobs. He already know they suck as I worked one for 27 years.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure there is much societal value in making your teen take a min wage menial job for a short term if your long-term goal is for them to be a professional in a cushy office job like the one you have. At worst, they are taking a job from someone who can't do anything else to earn a living.

I think it would be better to set them to the task of making money for themselves, which could include getting a menial job, but also allows for self-employment like walking dogs or tutoring. Learning to find clients is a skill worth developing.

[Anonymous]

I think they learn a lot from dealing with the public, and from a tiring physical job. Working with children is also very educational. There is plenty of menial work to be had in any number of fields so you might as well have them pick something aligned with their interests. It doesn't have to be one or the other.

I would not want them exposed to substance use, drinking, or being sexually harassed. I experienced those things as a teenage waitress myself.

[Anonymous]

My 16 yr old son has declared that he will never let his kids have their own phones until at least 13 yrs of age. He worked as a counselor at a camp that allowed phones and he was shocked that the kids didn’t want to do anything else.

[Anonymous]

Almost all of my 17 DD’s friends do not work, many are in sports. My DD works as a part time counselor. She didn’t work a ton of hours but at least she worked.

Unbelievable, DD’s friends’ parents pay for everything for their kids a d they are rude to workers- i.e. nail salon. DD had to remind her friends to be kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure there is much societal value in making your teen take a min wage menial job for a short term if your long-term goal is for them to be a professional in a cushy office job like the one you have. At worst, they are taking a job from someone who can't do anything else to earn a living.

I think it would be better to set them to the task of making money for themselves, which could include getting a menial job, but also allows for self-employment like walking dogs or tutoring. Learning to find clients is a skill worth developing.

Love this “if your long-term goal is for them to be a professional in a cushy job just like you!” Is that what’s happening? Parents are making the long-term goals for their children? Plus what a parent might think is a cushy job might be soul crushingly boring to their kid.

It’s smart to encourage a kid to make some of their own money. Let them pursue what type of summer job they might like. If the kid has any intelligence they will get a decent summer job making more than minimum wage. Those jobs are out there for the go getters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an employer, when i see a college grad with some experience at chipotle or bartending etc, i tend to respect them more than someone who did nothing over summer or just fluffy internships. Most of those kids know how to hustle and were very personable in interviews and didn't come off as if I the potential employer owed them a job. And all these kids have high grades already in hard subjects.

I’m one of the PP and always worked while in school. Thinking back, my references for my first professional jobs were my former employers, not my college professors. I was young and my parents certainly weren’t involved in my job search. In my mind, those were the people who really knew me and knew how I worked. They were not in my future field but it must have worked because I no problem getting a job out of college. Maybe work experience impressed someone out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure there is much societal value in making your teen take a min wage menial job for a short term if your long-term goal is for them to be a professional in a cushy office job like the one you have. At worst, they are taking a job from someone who can't do anything else to earn a living.

I think it would be better to set them to the task of making money for themselves, which could include getting a menial job, but also allows for self-employment like walking dogs or tutoring. Learning to find clients is a skill worth developing.

Love this “if your long-term goal is for them to be a professional in a cushy job just like you!” Is that what’s happening? Parents are making the long-term goals for their children? Plus what a parent might think is a cushy job might be soul crushingly boring to their kid.

It’s smart to encourage a kid to make some of their own money. Let them pursue what type of summer job they might like. If the kid has any intelligence they will get a decent summer job making more than minimum wage. Those jobs are out there for the go getters.

Let's be honest. The only reason people are pushing their kid to work at McD's for a few months is so that they can put it on their college apps, so they can get into a better college than their parents, so they can then get into a good law school, so they can get a good internship, so they can get a job at a good law firm or a federal agency, so they can sit in an office and make enough money to have kids of their own who will continue the cycle of upper middle class living. If menial labor jobs did not convey "grit" to admissions officers and make them lean toward "yes," this thread would not exist.

But a single mother with no skills could be flipping those pink goo patties instead. Charlotte who is heading to GU to continue her parent's legacy could just as easily tutor math to neighborhood kids and make better money, and still show "grit" by way of being her own boss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure there is much societal value in making your teen take a min wage menial job for a short term if your long-term goal is for them to be a professional in a cushy office job like the one you have. At worst, they are taking a job from someone who can't do anything else to earn a living.

I think it would be better to set them to the task of making money for themselves, which could include getting a menial job, but also allows for self-employment like walking dogs or tutoring. Learning to find clients is a skill worth developing.

Love this “if your long-term goal is for them to be a professional in a cushy job just like you!” Is that what’s happening? Parents are making the long-term goals for their children? Plus what a parent might think is a cushy job might be soul crushingly boring to their kid.

It’s smart to encourage a kid to make some of their own money. Let them pursue what type of summer job they might like. If the kid has any intelligence they will get a decent summer job making more than minimum wage. Those jobs are out there for the go getters.

Let's be honest. The only reason people are pushing their kid to work at McD's for a few months is so that they can put it on their college apps, so they can get into a better college than their parents, so they can then get into a good law school, so they can get a good internship, so they can get a job at a good law firm or a federal agency, so they can sit in an office and make enough money to have kids of their own who will continue the cycle of upper middle class living. If menial labor jobs did not convey "grit" to admissions officers and make them lean toward "yes," this thread would not exist.

But a single mother with no skills could be flipping those pink goo patties instead. Charlotte who is heading to GU to continue her parent's legacy could just as easily tutor math to neighborhood kids and make better money, and still show "grit" by way of being her own boss.

??? My alma mater will be a reach for my kid. I just want her to have some spending money.

[Anonymous]

My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Pray tell, where did you learn these skills? Oh wait, you didn’t.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine not working a “non career” job at least once. Because it humbles you, and gives you perspective. An adult who has only worked professional jobs is often the adult that falls off a cliff during a recession or after getting fired. I’ve observed it many times - these adults lose their good jobs and if they can’t get a similar replacement, they will just …be unemployed for years on end. Remember - a low wage job is also replaceable. You get fired from Subway, you can go get another. It’s not career ending. These jobs are always there. And quick to get and quick to quit when a better opportunity comes along. I know too any adults in their 30s and 40s just frozen in place who had these upper class upbringings.

My teenager has worked for the city park dept as a camp counselor - it’s kind of the best of both worlds. It’s “menial” but still on a city pay scale with a boss who is an educated well paid professional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure there is much societal value in making your teen take a min wage menial job for a short term if your long-term goal is for them to be a professional in a cushy office job like the one you have. At worst, they are taking a job from someone who can't do anything else to earn a living.

I think it would be better to set them to the task of making money for themselves, which could include getting a menial job, but also allows for self-employment like walking dogs or tutoring. Learning to find clients is a skill worth developing.

Love this “if your long-term goal is for them to be a professional in a cushy job just like you!” Is that what’s happening? Parents are making the long-term goals for their children? Plus what a parent might think is a cushy job might be soul crushingly boring to their kid.

It’s smart to encourage a kid to make some of their own money. Let them pursue what type of summer job they might like. If the kid has any intelligence they will get a decent summer job making more than minimum wage. Those jobs are out there for the go getters.

Let's be honest. The only reason people are pushing their kid to work at McD's for a few months is so that they can put it on their college apps, so they can get into a better college than their parents, so they can then get into a good law school, so they can get a good internship, so they can get a job at a good law firm or a federal agency, so they can sit in an office and make enough money to have kids of their own who will continue the cycle of upper middle class living. If menial labor jobs did not convey "grit" to admissions officers and make them lean toward "yes," this thread would not exist.

But a single mother with no skills could be flipping those pink goo patties instead. Charlotte who is heading to GU to continue her parent's legacy could just as easily tutor math to neighborhood kids and make better money, and still show "grit" by way of being her own boss.

I disagree. It's more the perception of what's normal for teens to be doing.

I live in flyover country. Kids here work for spending money and college money and because their parents did. Nobody near me is doing it so they look better for college apps. I can see how that might work for DMV privileged kids though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Pray tell, where did you learn these skills? Oh wait, you didn’t.

Haha exactly.

[Anonymous]

When I was a kid on Capitol Hill, parents (including mine) were transparent about trading in any favor to make sure their kid got their foot in the door someplace. Most of these same friends did hold “menial” jobs - lifeguarding, food service - but certainly not continuously and not without an eventual pivot to plum internships and early career opportunities.

I veered off of the path (dropped out of college and started supporting myself with these “menial” jobs in my late teens). What opened my eyes was that in those contexts, it *did not* matter how well-educated my parents were or how well-off I’d been raised: in the eyes of clientele, I was “the help.” I hate to say this, but that gave me the drive needed to finish college - unlike most of my fellow UMC peers, my parents did not give me a lifeline after my initial failed attempt at university. At the time, I was very resentful, but I do appreciate that I truly enjoy the fruits of my labors at this point. (Although I graduated late compared to my cohort, I now have an advanced degree and a cushy corporate job, so it all worked out.)

All of that being said: I would like my kids to have at least a couple of summers of “real world” work to pierce their UMC bubble - and let’s be very clear, it IS a bubble.