Goal as a parent for DC to never work non-prof jobs?

[Anonymous]

My menial jobs during the summers in college didn’t really build any skills for me, but they put me environments where I was surrounded by people with completely different financial and life circumstances than me, which is priceless. Kids growing up in UMC bubbles with zero first hand knowledge, nor curiosity, about how other people live, going off to college thinking they have all the answers to society’s problems… blech.


This. My DS is 19 and it was eye opening for him to work in minimum wage jobs with people who are parents trying to support their families on what he earns. It really helped him show gratitude for what he has. We are middle class but he goes to private school with wealthier kids who are given everything so that's what he sees. These jobs have helped him understand that we are far from poor even though we get substantial FA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the goal for my kids would be to work menial jobs when they are 13-16 or 17 and then get "professional" jobs for resume starting after junior year of HS.

What skills/training/education do they have as a junior that would qualify them for a professional job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also grew up like you. I absolutely want my kids to do some "regular" jobs. I want them to question the value of interning ie working for free. I never did that. I couldn't afford to.

+1. It might sound dumb but they need to develop appreciation for this type of work and the people who do it. I don’t want them to see service workers as less than them. It also will help them to appreciate the value in going into a professional job and earning real money someday.

[Anonymous]

I put myself through college and grad school by bartending, so no, I don’t share this goal for my children. I actually think our society would be better off if everyone was required to work a customer service/food service or retail job for at least a year.

While I make good money now, and my children won’t need to work full time in college, they all will work at least part-time.

[Anonymous]

My teen will work a “teen” job. I assume that’s menial. It certainly isn’t professional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up middle class in an UMC town. As a teen my brothers & I worked lots of nothingburger jobs (cashier, waiter, mowing lawns, shoveling). My UMC DH also did those jobs but his parents paid his rent during the summer he had an internship that led to his (v successful) career. I definitely noted that he had a pathway that I didn't. So, although we both think you can learn a lot about life & people by doing people-focused low wage jobs (especially waiting tables) we will likely work pretty hard to ensure our kids get college internships that track with their career interests.

It’s not your job to get your adult son or daughter an internship. What does that say about your child that he needs his parents to work “very hard” to get him an internship?

I had an internship at the state attorney general’s office. I interviewed for it and got it on my own. It wouldn’t have been the same if my father had called his friend and got me the internship.

I also worked part time as a waitress in a large family owned restaurant. I worked in the pub section and it was one of my best summers ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up blue collar so I didn't know any teens/20s who never worked 'regular' summer jobs - retail, lifeguarding, babysitting, bussing tables, etc. We did it to earn spending money and contribute to college expenses but also because it was just what we did with our time for better or worse.

Now that I am UMC and live among other UMC families, I have noticed many of the teens/20s only so something outside of school if it's 'professional' - internships, travel, volunteering, summer classes.

Is your goal as a parent for your DC to never have to work a 'menial' job? Is it a new 10%er badge of honor for your DC to never have had to work a job that didn't enrich them or is in line with what they like?

This sounds judgy but it's really not - I'm curious if some parents would find they succeeded if their DC never had to work a nothing-burger job.

We don't look down upon menial jobs as one learns from every experience and no job is beneath anyone. However, we didn't want our kids to do any because there are only so many hours in a day and to do well in life, they had to focus on studies, extracurriculars, internships, sports, volunteer work and sleep.

We don't believe in making kids suffer to build character, work ethics or value of money, there are so many other ways to teach them. There is no sense of pride in it, only a satisfaction that we are able to spare kids of struggles by making sacrifices ourselves and not focusing on upgrading our own lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up blue collar so I didn't know any teens/20s who never worked 'regular' summer jobs - retail, lifeguarding, babysitting, bussing tables, etc. We did it to earn spending money and contribute to college expenses but also because it was just what we did with our time for better or worse.

Now that I am UMC and live among other UMC families, I have noticed many of the teens/20s only so something outside of school if it's 'professional' - internships, travel, volunteering, summer classes.

Is your goal as a parent for your DC to never have to work a 'menial' job? Is it a new 10%er badge of honor for your DC to never have had to work a job that didn't enrich them or is in line with what they like?

This sounds judgy but it's really not - I'm curious if some parents would find they succeeded if their DC never had to work a nothing-burger job.

We don't look down upon menial jobs as one learns from every experience and no job is beneath anyone. However, we didn't want our kids to do any because there are only so many hours in a day and to do well in life, they had to focus on studies, extracurriculars, internships, sports, volunteer work and sleep.

We don't believe in making kids suffer to build character, work ethics or value of money, there are so many other ways to teach them. There is no sense of pride in it, only a satisfaction that we are able to spare kids of struggles by making sacrifices ourselves and not focusing on upgrading our own lifestyle.

Working a menial job as a 16-year old is “suffering”? You are an out of touch fool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up blue collar so I didn't know any teens/20s who never worked 'regular' summer jobs - retail, lifeguarding, babysitting, bussing tables, etc. We did it to earn spending money and contribute to college expenses but also because it was just what we did with our time for better or worse.

Now that I am UMC and live among other UMC families, I have noticed many of the teens/20s only so something outside of school if it's 'professional' - internships, travel, volunteering, summer classes.

Is your goal as a parent for your DC to never have to work a 'menial' job? Is it a new 10%er badge of honor for your DC to never have had to work a job that didn't enrich them or is in line with what they like?

This sounds judgy but it's really not - I'm curious if some parents would find they succeeded if their DC never had to work a nothing-burger job.

We don't look down upon menial jobs as one learns from every experience and no job is beneath anyone. However, we didn't want our kids to do any because there are only so many hours in a day and to do well in life, they had to focus on studies, extracurriculars, internships, sports, volunteer work and sleep.

We don't believe in making kids suffer to build character, work ethics or value of money, there are so many other ways to teach them. There is no sense of pride in it, only a satisfaction that we are able to spare kids of struggles by making sacrifices ourselves and not focusing on upgrading our own lifestyle.

Working a menial job as a 16-year old is “suffering”? You are an out of touch fool.

These jobs can be quite fun! Scooping ice cream or working a pool snack bar is a great time for most kids! I worked at a grocery store and am still friends with some of my former coworkers 25 years later!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up blue collar so I didn't know any teens/20s who never worked 'regular' summer jobs - retail, lifeguarding, babysitting, bussing tables, etc. We did it to earn spending money and contribute to college expenses but also because it was just what we did with our time for better or worse.

Now that I am UMC and live among other UMC families, I have noticed many of the teens/20s only so something outside of school if it's 'professional' - internships, travel, volunteering, summer classes.

Is your goal as a parent for your DC to never have to work a 'menial' job? Is it a new 10%er badge of honor for your DC to never have had to work a job that didn't enrich them or is in line with what they like?

This sounds judgy but it's really not - I'm curious if some parents would find they succeeded if their DC never had to work a nothing-burger job.

We don't look down upon menial jobs as one learns from every experience and no job is beneath anyone. However, we didn't want our kids to do any because there are only so many hours in a day and to do well in life, they had to focus on studies, extracurriculars, internships, sports, volunteer work and sleep.

We don't believe in making kids suffer to build character, work ethics or value of money, there are so many other ways to teach them. There is no sense of pride in it, only a satisfaction that we are able to spare kids of struggles by making sacrifices ourselves and not focusing on upgrading our own lifestyle.

Working a menial job as a 16-year old is “suffering”? You are an out of touch fool.

These jobs can be quite fun! Scooping ice cream or working a pool snack bar is a great time for most kids! I worked at a grocery store and am still friends with some of my former coworkers 25 years later!

+2 Scooping ice cream with other kids sounds way more fun than sitting at a desk with a bunch of miserable adults at some internship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid will have 7 summers and 8 school years between turning 15 and graduating college. There is time in there for a wide variety of experiences. I don't see it as "internship" vs. paid job vs. volunteering. He can manage to do all three, and learn different things from each.

This! I did so many things when I was a teen and in college. I had a professional internship my junior year of college, which led to a full-time job after graduation. But I also worked babysitting, as a camp counselor, retail, admin at a law firm, and did another semester where I got credit for working an unpaid job in my field. And I also studied abroad in college and got all of the other great experiences.

There is so much time to do so many things. It’s not one or the other. I’ll encourage my kids to do the same. My DH knew he wanted to join the military and so he did high school ROTC and also worked a fast food job.

[Anonymous]

Well, if you care at all about doing things "for college applications," getting a professional job over a menial one is probably the worst, dumbest move you can make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up blue collar so I didn't know any teens/20s who never worked 'regular' summer jobs - retail, lifeguarding, babysitting, bussing tables, etc. We did it to earn spending money and contribute to college expenses but also because it was just what we did with our time for better or worse.

Now that I am UMC and live among other UMC families, I have noticed many of the teens/20s only so something outside of school if it's 'professional' - internships, travel, volunteering, summer classes.

Is your goal as a parent for your DC to never have to work a 'menial' job? Is it a new 10%er badge of honor for your DC to never have had to work a job that didn't enrich them or is in line with what they like?

This sounds judgy but it's really not - I'm curious if some parents would find they succeeded if their DC never had to work a nothing-burger job.

I grew up same as you and made my son work a warehouse job when he was 14. Just a couple days a week for a summer, compared to my 40 hours plus a newspaper route. But it did the trick. He's got a fab job now as a senior in high school and appreciates it every single day.

[Anonymous]

We did, and so do our kids. One worked on a farm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up blue collar so I didn't know any teens/20s who never worked 'regular' summer jobs - retail, lifeguarding, babysitting, bussing tables, etc. We did it to earn spending money and contribute to college expenses but also because it was just what we did with our time for better or worse.

Now that I am UMC and live among other UMC families, I have noticed many of the teens/20s only so something outside of school if it's 'professional' - internships, travel, volunteering, summer classes.

Is your goal as a parent for your DC to never have to work a 'menial' job? Is it a new 10%er badge of honor for your DC to never have had to work a job that didn't enrich them or is in line with what they like?

This sounds judgy but it's really not - I'm curious if some parents would find they succeeded if their DC never had to work a nothing-burger job.

We don't look down upon menial jobs as one learns from every experience and no job is beneath anyone. However, we didn't want our kids to do any because there are only so many hours in a day and to do well in life, they had to focus on studies, extracurriculars, internships, sports, volunteer work and sleep.

We don't believe in making kids suffer to build character, work ethics or value of money, there are so many other ways to teach them. There is no sense of pride in it, only a satisfaction that we are able to spare kids of struggles by making sacrifices ourselves and not focusing on upgrading our own lifestyle.

I don’t understand why everyone thinks their kid would be suffering at a job that is usually done by young people.

My daughter and one of her roommates are making big money this summer at high end private clubs in NYC. They work at different places. You need good looks and a nice wardrobe. They make about $3,000 a week. Not every menial job is miserable suffering.