Why are women so crazy with expectations these days while dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just went on a date over the past weekend. She's a nurse, which is completely fine. But during the date she reveals she wants to go move to an area like Chevy Chase/Potomac and wants to join a country club in the Potomac. I'm like WTF in my brain. Her expectations are so massively out of whack for her current situation and the reality of her life. Even in the extreme scenario of a 0.0001% chance I would ever marry a person like this, how does she think we would ever afford a multiple million dollar house and an exclusive country club membership costing several hundred thousands of dollars per year on a salary like hers (and ours)? I mean what does she expect or thinks she deserves? To date CEOs or hedge fund managers only while she is just a nurse? Absolutely unreal.

I'm not poor, have a PhD in engineering and started a small startup, but that's not going to pay a mortgage or country club membership. The insane entitlement mentality of many women I've dated these days is just nuts. Has the Real Housewives of the Potomac brainwashed an entire generation of women in this area for what to expect in life?

Did she grow up in the South?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone wants an Instagram worthy life and impress others with their affluence. That's why there are so many living like a millionaire on a $30K budget.

However, its better to find out on first date than after a year. Take first dates as research for an anthropological project.

With Temu, you can shop like a billionaire.

[Anonymous]

I’m from nyc and wanted to live in a certain area. It doesn’t mean I wanted a guy to buy me an apartment.

Dh wishes I was the type of woman who wanted what this nurse wants. We do live in a multi million dollar house and have a country club membership where I take my kids. I would trade this life for a manhattan rented apartment I used to have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m from nyc and wanted to live in a certain area. It doesn’t mean I wanted a guy to buy me an apartment.

[/b]Dh wishes I was the type of woman who wanted what this nurse wants. We do live in a multi million dollar house and have a country club membership where I take my kids. I would trade this life for a manhattan rented apartment I used to have.[b]

Mine too.
I posted earlier in this thread, but we moved to a small single family home in a dense suburban neighborhood, and I’m a lot happier. Maintaining that kind of lifestyle is a full time job, and not one that I enjoyed.
I know that DH wishes I was the kind of woman who was excited about home decorating and got angry that the landscapers didn’t do something to plan and dressed our family in coordinating but not matching outfits and complained that the housekeeper “just doesn’t know how to really get the house clean.” I hope that the OP’s date finds the right guy for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Assuming you are not a troll…
I think women don’t have to marry anymore and it’s not really worth it unless you bring a lot to the table. But that’s not necessarily money…

She maybe feels she’s very attractive and perhaps overestimated your income. She’s looking for a mate that is very driven and wants that same lifestyle, and is willing to put up with all that entails.

There are other women (like me) who want a partner who is home more and helping out and an engaged parent vs working many hours. Someone who doesn’t need me to tell him the phone number of the pediatrician or which night is back to school night. However I do not look or dress like a model or invest in my nails and hair and while I have an Ivy degree I’m not pulling down half a mill. We bought modestly in a good school area further out to make our lifestyle manageable.

Of course there are women who want different things. You are just not asking them out for some reason. Take a good look at why you are picking poorly.

Even if you made $500k-1M and were chief surgeon that’d still not be enough to afford something like one of those prestigious country club memberships. Hell, even being a doctor isn’t good enough, because that’s not even in a truly elite class.

Don’t know where you’re getting your numbers from, but that would definitely be enough.

After the initiation fee 50-150k, the yearly fees aren’t that bad, probably somewhere in the 20 to 40 K range

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m from nyc and wanted to live in a certain area. It doesn’t mean I wanted a guy to buy me an apartment.

[/b]Dh wishes I was the type of woman who wanted what this nurse wants. We do live in a multi million dollar house and have a country club membership where I take my kids. I would trade this life for a manhattan rented apartment I used to have.

Mine too.
I posted earlier in this thread, but we moved to a small single family home in a dense suburban neighborhood, and I’m a lot happier. Maintaining that kind of lifestyle is a full time job, and not one that I enjoyed.
[b]I know that DH wishes I was the kind of woman who was excited about home decorating and got angry that the landscapers didn’t do something to plan and dressed our family in coordinating but not matching outfits and complained that the housekeeper “just doesn’t know how to really get the house clean.” I hope that the OP’s date finds the right guy for her.

Yeah they’re all babies who want a 24/7 1950s Mommy not a partner. Do everything so they can continue to 100% focus on themselves yet maintain their ego and image as a great father and family guy and success in life. Bravo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m from nyc and wanted to live in a certain area. It doesn’t mean I wanted a guy to buy me an apartment.

Dh wishes I was the type of woman who wanted what this nurse wants. We do live in a multi million dollar house and have a country club membership where I take my kids. I would trade this life for a manhattan rented apartment I used to have.

Never. Happy.

[Anonymous]

I think everyone should have lofty goals but I wouldn’t share them on a first date! I think we all dream about the perfect spouse and lifestyle but eventually reality sets in. If you start with a great husband, as I did at age 26, 25 years later you might live the life you always hoped for. If you have a great husband the lifestyle becomes less important because there are many wealthy women with miserable marriages.

[Anonymous]

Obama belongs to several country clubs in the area.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because you are a loser doesn't mean she is. Good for her. Go live your dream girl! She is obviously an ambitious go getter and wants the same!

Ah, yes, the ambitions to join a country club. What a go-getter!

Surely there is no better use of time and money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Just a nurse 👩🏼‍⚕️??!”

I would not think a nurse is not a career goal.

I think it is a very honorable profession & think you should be proud if your wife was one.

Is and am. But she's not a country club striving social climber; she's a quality person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Real Housewives is probably less to blame than all of the movies and sitcoms we all grew up with. ‘Friends’ was notorious for putting characters in apartments they could never afford, but so many family sitcoms did too. Somehow, on a single middle class income and raising multiple children, everyone has a lovely home.

Families who lived in homes they could never have afforded and misrepresented adulthood to a whole generation:

The Winslows on “Family Matters”
The Bundy’s on “Married with Children”
The Tanners in “Full House”
The Dunphy’s in “Modern Family”
Raymond on “Everybody Loves Raymond”

This is sneakier than Real Housewives because you don’t realize that you internalized these things from television. You just kind of take it for granted that a realtor with a stay at home wife and three kids can probably afford a $2 million house.

Houses are cheap. Select neighborhood are expensive, more so now that 30 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Nursing is actually a great career (for either gender) if you want to marry someone with a big career, because it’s portable and flexible. If one spouse is a very high earner, it often works best for one to work a lot less and be home a lot more.

Having two people making $200ish and wanting an expensive home life can be really hard, because you have enough money but underestimate the outsourcing needed for labor and the cost of that outsourcing is really high.

[Anonymous]

Her expectations are so massively out of whack for her current situation

Yeah...that's why she said it's something she wants in the future. It is easier to afford nice things with two incomes. It's out of whack on a single income but for two professionals? Nah.

Also how much do you think nurses make lol. I work in hospital administration and have almost ten years of experience - our first year nurses make about the same as me, plus starting bonus and other incentives. Depending on how old she is, she's likely making six figures.

[Anonymous]

I think dating has changed for men and what they have to do to be successful has evolved. In my mind the perfect storm of things have overlapped creating the current dating market:

1. Women don’t need man any more. They’re often higher educated, invest more in themselves and have higher aspirations than the average male.

2. The obesity epidemic has greatly impacted the number of people that both sexes are actually, physically attracted to and want to date.

3. Women have always been the gate keepers for sex and online dating has created a “kid in a candy store” effect where they can literally order a hot guy like a pizza and have him show up at her door within 30 minutes. Much like pizza - its not always good, but there’s no need to sleep with an average schlub that they’re not attracted to. Not feeling like Italian tonight? Maybe they’ll try a different experience. Lol.

As a guy, I’ve thought about what I would do to approach today’s dating market if I were single. A couple ideas come to mind:

1. I’d invest in myself in the same way a lot of women do - lotsa time in the gym, improve my interpersonal skills, travel, work on my career and self growth etc. Basically, I’d have something to offer.

2. I wouldn’t participate in online dating. I’d talk to people and socialize wherever I went and meet someone face to face.

[Anonymous]

Just here and wondering why people on this thread, esp OP, seem to want to denigrate nursing as a career? Weird.

The nurses I know have lots of options and are paid really well.