Why are women so crazy with expectations these days while dating?

[Anonymous]

Just went on a date over the past weekend. She's a nurse, which is completely fine. But during the date she reveals she wants to go move to an area like Chevy Chase/Potomac and wants to join a country club in the Potomac. I'm like WTF in my brain. Her expectations are so massively out of whack for her current situation and the reality of her life. Even in the extreme scenario of a 0.0001% chance I would ever marry a person like this, how does she think we would ever afford a multiple million dollar house and an exclusive country club membership costing several hundred thousands of dollars per year on a salary like hers (and ours)? I mean what does she expect or thinks she deserves? To date CEOs or hedge fund managers only while she is just a nurse? Absolutely unreal.

I'm not poor, have a PhD in engineering and started a small startup, but that's not going to pay a mortgage or country club membership. The insane entitlement mentality of many women I've dated these days is just nuts. Has the Real Housewives of the Potomac brainwashed an entire generation of women in this area for what to expect in life?

[Anonymous]

Did you tell her about your vasectomy?

[Anonymous]

Tell her to aim higher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just went on a date over the past weekend. She's a nurse, which is completely fine. But during the date she reveals she wants to go move to an area like Chevy Chase/Potomac and wants to join a country club in the Potomac. I'm like WTF in my brain. Her expectations are so massively out of whack for her current situation and the reality of her life. Even in the extreme scenario of a 0.0001% chance I would ever marry a person like this, how does she think we would ever afford a multiple million dollar house and an exclusive country club membership costing several hundred thousands of dollars per year on a salary like hers (and ours)? I mean what does she expect or thinks she deserves? To date CEOs or hedge fund managers only while she is just a nurse? Absolutely unreal.

I'm not poor, have a PhD in engineering and started a small startup, but that's not going to pay a mortgage or country club membership. The insane entitlement mentality of many women I've dated these days is just nuts. Has the Real Housewives of the Potomac brainwashed an entire generation of women in this area for what to expect in life?

Maybe she has aspirations and will eventually become a DNP.
My mom was a nurse, she wanted a big house in a nice town, she got there. My dad pulled his weight, and she pulled hers. Why are you getting offended rather than learning more about her motivations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just went on a date over the past weekend. She's a nurse, which is completely fine. But during the date she reveals she wants to go move to an area like Chevy Chase/Potomac and wants to join a country club in the Potomac. I'm like WTF in my brain. Her expectations are so massively out of whack for her current situation and the reality of her life. Even in the extreme scenario of a 0.0001% chance I would ever marry a person like this, how does she think we would ever afford a multiple million dollar house and an exclusive country club membership costing several hundred thousands of dollars per year on a salary like hers (and ours)? I mean what does she expect or thinks she deserves? To date CEOs or hedge fund managers only while she is just a nurse? Absolutely unreal.

I'm not poor, have a PhD in engineering and started a small startup, but that's not going to pay a mortgage or country club membership. The insane entitlement mentality of many women I've dated these days is just nuts. Has the Real Housewives of the Potomac brainwashed an entire generation of women in this area for what to expect in life?

I assume you responded with "Wow, that's really ambitious. How do you plan on achieving that? What's the motivation for you?"

Because 1) you arent being curious and 2) you assume that she plans on that with you or in light of the additional information you provided, because of you when that may not be the case.

[Anonymous]

Why do you think all women are the same?

[Anonymous]

How old is she? Expectations when you're in your early/mid 20s are very different than when you're in your mid 30s.

Did you ask her how she expected to live this lifestyle? If you're having this conversation on a first date, you might as well be open about it.

[Anonymous]

You can’t pay a mortgage because your startup sucks and earns no money but you’re ragging on her for having dreams? And what’s wrong with having an aspiration to something better—sometimes dreams are just dreams and it’s fun to talk about. Have you never thought about what you’d do if you won the lottery or money were no object?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t pay a mortgage because your startup sucks and earns no money but you’re ragging on her for having dreams? And what’s wrong with having an aspiration to something better—sometimes dreams are just dreams and it’s fun to talk about. Have you never thought about what you’d do if you won the lottery or money were no object?

Sounds rather inappropriate for a first date.

[Anonymous]

Social media encourages women to have high demands.

If you think she's too much, say "no, thanks" and move on.

[Anonymous]

So you're planning to never have a mortgage?

[Anonymous]

I feel like it's weird to hear someone on the first date mention a pie in the sky dream they have and then assume she is asking you to bankroll her dream. If she is dating you then obviously she doesn't really expect that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just went on a date over the past weekend. She's a nurse, which is completely fine. But during the date she reveals she wants to go move to an area like Chevy Chase/Potomac and wants to join a country club in the Potomac. I'm like WTF in my brain. Her expectations are so massively out of whack for her current situation and the reality of her life. Even in the extreme scenario of a 0.0001% chance I would ever marry a person like this, how does she think we would ever afford a multiple million dollar house and an exclusive country club membership costing several hundred thousands of dollars per year on a salary like hers (and ours)? I mean what does she expect or thinks she deserves? To date CEOs or hedge fund managers only while she is just a nurse? Absolutely unreal.

I'm not poor, have a PhD in engineering and started a small startup, but that's not going to pay a mortgage or country club membership. The insane entitlement mentality of many women I've dated these days is just nuts. Has the Real Housewives of the Potomac brainwashed an entire generation of women in this area for what to expect in life?

I assume you responded with "Wow, that's really ambitious. How do you plan on achieving that? What's the motivation for you?"

Because 1) you arent being curious and 2) you assume that she plans on that with you or in light of the additional information you provided, because of you when that may not be the case.

Agreed

[Anonymous]

Assuming you are not a troll…
I think women don’t have to marry anymore and it’s not really worth it unless you bring a lot to the table. But that’s not necessarily money…

She maybe feels she’s very attractive and perhaps overestimated your income. She’s looking for a mate that is very driven and wants that same lifestyle, and is willing to put up with all that entails.

There are other women (like me) who want a partner who is home more and helping out and an engaged parent vs working many hours. Someone who doesn’t need me to tell him the phone number of the pediatrician or which night is back to school night. However I do not look or dress like a model or invest in my nails and hair and while I have an Ivy degree I’m not pulling down half a mill. We bought modestly in a good school area further out to make our lifestyle manageable.

Of course there are women who want different things. You are just not asking them out for some reason. Take a good look at why you are picking poorly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Assuming you are not a troll…
I think women don’t have to marry anymore and it’s not really worth it unless you bring a lot to the table. But that’s not necessarily money…

She maybe feels she’s very attractive and perhaps overestimated your income. She’s looking for a mate that is very driven and wants that same lifestyle, and is willing to put up with all that entails.

There are other women (like me) who want a partner who is home more and helping out and an engaged parent vs working many hours. Someone who doesn’t need me to tell him the phone number of the pediatrician or which night is back to school night. However I do not look or dress like a model or invest in my nails and hair and while I have an Ivy degree I’m not pulling down half a mill. We bought modestly in a good school area further out to make our lifestyle manageable.

Of course there are women who want different things. You are just not asking them out for some reason. Take a good look at why you are picking poorly.

Even if you made $500k-1M and were chief surgeon that’d still not be enough to afford something like one of those prestigious country club memberships. Hell, even being a doctor isn’t good enough, because that’s not even in a truly elite class.