I resent older relatives for not saving enough money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Around us boomer grandparents are zero help with their grandchildren, they are too busy "living the life", lol.

All around us, boomer grandparents are retiring and can't wait for their first grandchildren so they can baby sit and be there financially for their millennial children. Two friends just bought 2nd homes so they can visit often without imposing.

My parents brag to their friends about their grandchildren and how helpful they are. The reality is they are not helpful in any way shape or form. When we visit them (3x/yr) they barely pay attention to their grandchildren. They do take TONS of photos to demonstrate to their friends how active they are in their lives, but it's a lie. They don't know their grandchildren very well at all and still feed then things they are allergic to then wonder why they have hives.

Sounds like you got narcissistic parents. Maybe stop visiting them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Around us boomer grandparents are zero help with their grandchildren, they are too busy "living the life", lol.

All around us, boomer grandparents are retiring and can't wait for their first grandchildren so they can baby sit and be there financially for their millennial children. Two friends just bought 2nd homes so they can visit often without imposing.

Not my boomer parents. I had parents who literally said "we raised our children. You raise yours. We don't want to be childcare for you." My parents haven't given us a dime and literally "watched" my kid once and it went badly. They didn't watch her at all and she fell down the stairs at 2 years old. That was 16 years and 3 additional kids ago. They've never watched my kids again because they cannot be trusted.

I'm sad for you, pp.

I'm sad for me too. I've mourned the parents I never had and wished I did. And I've moved on. Trying to do better for my kids. Just know not everyone js the same. So if my parents need money or help I will give them the help and support they gave me when I really needed it. None.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their lifetime high salaries were probably what your kids make out of college, and they worked with a lot less technology to make things easy for them.

Boomer hands typed this post
Millennials earn less adjusted for buying power, and have more expenses, more college debt, more expensive housing, even insurance is more expensive

When I was a kid my car insurance was $700 a month, I'm sure its worse now

Totally agree. Plus, Boomers are not helpful with their grandchildren the way their parents (silent generation) were. Boomers are the "selfish" generation that take from above and below. I think genX are the giving generation that give above and below. Maybe the millennials are striking the balance right with boundaries.

Your Boomer parents, you mean. Not seeing that at all in my wide circle.

Then you have superficial friendships. My parents go very far out of their way to put a show on for their friends. The reality is quite different. How well do you actually know your friends? My parents are not unique.

You have bad parents. It is clear from your posts.

[Anonymous]

Where I live boomer parents are all about grandkids. Not only do they babysit, they pay for school and babysitters if their kids can't reasonably afford it.

As with any issue you see on DCUM, there are a vocal few who beat the drum so loudly and so often that it feels like more than just a handful of people.

That said, I agree there are plenty of parents in every generation who can't help or don't want to help, but that is in no way ALL as some people here want others to believe. Not sure why they have it in for boomers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Around us boomer grandparents are zero help with their grandchildren, they are too busy "living the life", lol.

All around us, boomer grandparents are retiring and can't wait for their first grandchildren so they can baby sit and be there financially for their millennial children. Two friends just bought 2nd homes so they can visit often without imposing.

Not my boomer parents. I had parents who literally said "we raised our children. You raise yours. We don't want to be childcare for you." My parents haven't given us a dime and literally "watched" my kid once and it went badly. They didn't watch her at all and she fell down the stairs at 2 years old. That was 16 years and 3 additional kids ago. They've never watched my kids again because they cannot be trusted.

I'm sad for you, pp.

I'm sad for me too. I've mourned the parents I never had and wished I did. And I've moved on. Trying to do better for my kids. Just know not everyone js the same. So if my parents need money or help I will give them the help and support they gave me when I really needed it. None.

DP. But no, you haven't moved on. You are here being a victim and martyr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their lifetime high salaries were probably what your kids make out of college, and they worked with a lot less technology to make things easy for them.

Boomer hands typed this post
Millennials earn less adjusted for buying power, and have more expenses, more college debt, more expensive housing, even insurance is more expensive

When I was a kid my car insurance was $700 a month, I'm sure its worse now

Totally agree. Plus, Boomers are not helpful with their grandchildren the way their parents (silent generation) were. Boomers are the "selfish" generation that take from above and below. I think genX are the giving generation that give above and below. Maybe the millennials are striking the balance right with boundaries.

Your Boomer parents, you mean. Not seeing that at all in my wide circle.

Same. I’m older GenX. As for retirement savings, for many older generations there were company pensions that helped supplement Social Security. Lots of people lost their entire pension plans as companies went out of business or were bought out. Medicine is outrageously more expensive than it was for previous generations too.

Regarding childcare and other help, that has always been family specific. I have tons of Boomer friends who are extremely involved with their grand kids. It seems like lots of posters here come from dysfunctional families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their lifetime high salaries were probably what your kids make out of college, and they worked with a lot less technology to make things easy for them.

Boomer hands typed this post
Millennials earn less adjusted for buying power, and have more expenses, more college debt, more expensive housing, even insurance is more expensive

When I was a kid my car insurance was $700 a month, I'm sure its worse now

Totally agree. Plus, Boomers are not helpful with their grandchildren the way their parents (silent generation) were. Boomers are the "selfish" generation that take from above and below. I think genX are the giving generation that give above and below. Maybe the millennials are striking the balance right with boundaries.

Your Boomer parents, you mean. Not seeing that at all in my wide circle.

Then you have superficial friendships. My parents go very far out of their way to put a show on for their friends. The reality is quite different. How well do you actually know your friends? My parents are not unique.

You have bad parents. It is clear from your posts.

I know. Many people have bad parents though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where I live boomer parents are all about grandkids. Not only do they babysit, they pay for school and babysitters if their kids can't reasonably afford it.

As with any issue you see on DCUM, there are a vocal few who beat the drum so loudly and so often that it feels like more than just a handful of people.

That said, I agree there are plenty of parents in every generation who can't help or don't want to help, but that is in no way ALL as some people here want others to believe. Not sure why they have it in for boomers.

It's one thing to help out for special occasions, but to expect your parents to watch your kid regularly and build their retire around providing childcare is very entitled. Great if it's something they want to do; but also, totally understandable if they want to go to Europe 3 months a year or play a lot of golf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Around us boomer grandparents are zero help with their grandchildren, they are too busy "living the life", lol.

All around us, boomer grandparents are retiring and can't wait for their first grandchildren so they can baby sit and be there financially for their millennial children. Two friends just bought 2nd homes so they can visit often without imposing.

Not my boomer parents. I had parents who literally said "we raised our children. You raise yours. We don't want to be childcare for you." My parents haven't given us a dime and literally "watched" my kid once and it went badly. They didn't watch her at all and she fell down the stairs at 2 years old. That was 16 years and 3 additional kids ago. They've never watched my kids again because they cannot be trusted.

I'm sad for you, pp.

I'm sad for me too. I've mourned the parents I never had and wished I did. And I've moved on. Trying to do better for my kids. Just know not everyone js the same. So if my parents need money or help I will give them the help and support they gave me when I really needed it. None.

DP. But no, you haven't moved on. You are here being a victim and martyr.

Nope. I have moved on. I'm just voicing the opposing view of those who don't want to help with geriatric parents for very valid reasons. Many boomer (and other generations) parents were not that great and then expect help in old age. Those parents shouldn't expect help and it's valid if their kids don't want to help. That's the point and I've provided some examples for context.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Around us boomer grandparents are zero help with their grandchildren, they are too busy "living the life", lol.

All around us, boomer grandparents are retiring and can't wait for their first grandchildren so they can baby sit and be there financially for their millennial children. Two friends just bought 2nd homes so they can visit often without imposing.

Not my boomer parents. I had parents who literally said "we raised our children. You raise yours. We don't want to be childcare for you." My parents haven't given us a dime and literally "watched" my kid once and it went badly. They didn't watch her at all and she fell down the stairs at 2 years old. That was 16 years and 3 additional kids ago. They've never watched my kids again because they cannot be trusted.

I'm sad for you, pp.

I'm sad for me too. I've mourned the parents I never had and wished I did. And I've moved on. Trying to do better for my kids. Just know not everyone js the same. So if my parents need money or help I will give them the help and support they gave me when I really needed it. None.

NP. Why do you need to be sad? My parents haven’t ever really watched my kids and I do would be embarrassed if they gave me money. That’s not their job. But, they’re still good grandparents. Not perfect. But I’m not writing them off because these aren’t sins to me. I pay my way and hired sitters. They still have good relationships with my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Around us boomer grandparents are zero help with their grandchildren, they are too busy "living the life", lol.

All around us, boomer grandparents are retiring and can't wait for their first grandchildren so they can baby sit and be there financially for their millennial children. Two friends just bought 2nd homes so they can visit often without imposing.

Not my boomer parents. I had parents who literally said "we raised our children. You raise yours. We don't want to be childcare for you." My parents haven't given us a dime and literally "watched" my kid once and it went badly. They didn't watch her at all and she fell down the stairs at 2 years old. That was 16 years and 3 additional kids ago. They've never watched my kids again because they cannot be trusted.

I'm sad for you, pp.

I'm sad for me too. I've mourned the parents I never had and wished I did. And I've moved on. Trying to do better for my kids. Just know not everyone js the same. So if my parents need money or help I will give them the help and support they gave me when I really needed it. None.

DP. But no, you haven't moved on. You are here being a victim and martyr.

Nope. I have moved on. I'm just voicing the opposing view of those who don't want to help with geriatric parents for very valid reasons. Many boomer (and other generations) parents were not that great and then expect help in old age. Those parents shouldn't expect help and it's valid if their kids don't want to help. That's the point and I've provided some examples for context.

I’m pp and just reading thread. You don’t want to help your parents (geriatric is so offensive) because they didn’t give you $$ or watch your kids? I guess I don’t live in a tit for tat world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Around us boomer grandparents are zero help with their grandchildren, they are too busy "living the life", lol.

All around us, boomer grandparents are retiring and can't wait for their first grandchildren so they can baby sit and be there financially for their millennial children. Two friends just bought 2nd homes so they can visit often without imposing.

Not my boomer parents. I had parents who literally said "we raised our children. You raise yours. We don't want to be childcare for you." My parents haven't given us a dime and literally "watched" my kid once and it went badly. They didn't watch her at all and she fell down the stairs at 2 years old. That was 16 years and 3 additional kids ago. They've never watched my kids again because they cannot be trusted.

I'm sad for you, pp.

I'm sad for me too. I've mourned the parents I never had and wished I did. And I've moved on. Trying to do better for my kids. Just know not everyone js the same. So if my parents need money or help I will give them the help and support they gave me when I really needed it. None.

DP. But no, you haven't moved on. You are here being a victim and martyr.

Nope. I have moved on. I'm just voicing the opposing view of those who don't want to help with geriatric parents for very valid reasons. Many boomer (and other generations) parents were not that great and then expect help in old age. Those parents shouldn't expect help and it's valid if their kids don't want to help. That's the point and I've provided some examples for context.

I’m pp and just reading thread. You don’t want to help your parents (geriatric is so offensive) because they didn’t give you $$ or watch your kids? I guess I don’t live in a tit for tat world.

NP, but that’s exactly why I won’t be helping my parents. They basically told me they were done helping me when I graduated from HS. I’ve been independent, financially and otherwise, since age 18. They’ll never see a dime of my money, even if they’re destitute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Around us boomer grandparents are zero help with their grandchildren, they are too busy "living the life", lol.

All around us, boomer grandparents are retiring and can't wait for their first grandchildren so they can baby sit and be there financially for their millennial children. Two friends just bought 2nd homes so they can visit often without imposing.

Not my boomer parents. I had parents who literally said "we raised our children. You raise yours. We don't want to be childcare for you." My parents haven't given us a dime and literally "watched" my kid once and it went badly. They didn't watch her at all and she fell down the stairs at 2 years old. That was 16 years and 3 additional kids ago. They've never watched my kids again because they cannot be trusted.

I'm sad for you, pp.

I'm sad for me too. I've mourned the parents I never had and wished I did. And I've moved on. Trying to do better for my kids. Just know not everyone js the same. So if my parents need money or help I will give them the help and support they gave me when I really needed it. None.

DP. But no, you haven't moved on. You are here being a victim and martyr.

Nope. I have moved on. I'm just voicing the opposing view of those who don't want to help with geriatric parents for very valid reasons. Many boomer (and other generations) parents were not that great and then expect help in old age. Those parents shouldn't expect help and it's valid if their kids don't want to help. That's the point and I've provided some examples for context.

I’m pp and just reading thread. You don’t want to help your parents (geriatric is so offensive) because they didn’t give you $$ or watch your kids? I guess I don’t live in a tit for tat world.

Hey PP - you sound like a complete ass and have SERIOUS reading comprehension issues. That is not what the poster said at all about her parents. Stop embarrasing yourself by attacking her and calling her names - you are showing your lack of education, comprehension, and sound very biased. - Are you an older boomer who's kids don't help, or a very young person who is trolling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because now on top of all the financial challenges facing my generation, I’m now burdened with spending thousands of dollars to help them out whenever an emergency pops up. I feel so used by stupid, broke, irresponsible older family who have nothing to their name and mountains of debt because of decades of idiotic life choices. And many of them suffer from serious, expensive to treat, yet entirely preventable health issues caused by alcohol, bad diet, and smoking.

You know, it is not your responsibility to care for them. Live and let live.