Being a working parent sucks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know that kids are better off or happier not having to go to aftercare or staying until closing. Avoiding that never entered my decision making, which,’along with sharing the drop off and pick up load, led to both of us being able to have the careers we wanted.

Agreed.

Most times I pick my kid up early out of mom guilt, he’s bored and no other kids are home yet to play outside.

I have a relatively flexible job but I pay for before and aftercare and camp (all summer + during school holidays).

And I’m a single parent/breadwinner/have primary custody. It’s possible but you have to be organized and a little lucky.

But there are def times when I have to hop on a call or do work while my kid is in pajamas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids may like aftercare. Doesn’t mean it’s developmentally healthy to be warehoused and have to comply for that long. Even if an afterschool nanny is boring, the child’s mind can rest.

My kids love junk food. That doesn’t make it good for them!

You're just mean and judgmental. You offer zero data to back up your claims. You seem to be a troll who gets off and making others feel bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know that kids are better off or happier not having to go to aftercare or staying until closing. Avoiding that never entered my decision making, which,’along with sharing the drop off and pick up load, led to both of us being able to have the careers we wanted.

???

Shouldn’t you know if your OWN kids are better off or happier avoiding aftercare? I won’t speak for everyone’s children, but mine absolutely HATED aftercare and it stressed them out horribly.

PP to whom You are responding. My kids loved aftercare and camp. Their aftercare took care of all homework so when they got home our evenings weren’t filled with a to do list. They taught my kids to sew and all kinds of other things. Plus my kids got to play with their friends. They had plenty of time to play with each other outside of those hours. They fed my kids a ln early dinner though they’d eat again at home. They also did camp on school days off so I never scrambled for care on teacher work days. And they did a summer camp so when they were little and didn’t like a lot of change, they could just stay in their regular childcare. It was a good gig. Went from age 3 to 13.

Taught to sew and fed dinner? Where is this mythical place?

+1 where was this??

Silver Spring.

So a private company?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's been soul-crushingly difficult as a single mom. Not trashing stay at home moms. I was one briefly. Mommy tracked after divorce, but the grind has killed my spirit.

I’m right there with you. It’s so hard. Keep on keeping on!

[Anonymous]

Grass is equally brown on both sides, no matter if you are a full time or part time parent on a budget. If you want peace be full time SAHM or full day outside mom with nanny and maid.

[Anonymous]

Had a similar sentiment at the start of camp (our first summer needing it). Work flexibility/WFH and family-friendly culture are key - things have shifted this way especially after COVID but still a ways to go. Also wish we could do away with the outdated notion of the 40-hour work week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have flexible and interesting jobs and one child. We don't worry about money and each have time to relax. Not surprised studies show women with one child are happier than women with no or multiple children.

+1 and I also have two sets of local grandparents who are lovely. And enough funds to outsource a lot of stuff. I'm pretty happy and would HATE being a sahm.

+2. It’s really the second child that makes life very complex. I have two, and were it not for some flexibility in my job and involved grandparents, I would quit. With just one, I wouldn’t need any of those things really.

Honestly, we need more PT options in this country, especially in competitive fields like law, finance, consulting. And I mean real PT options, not poorly paid ones or ones that are stealth FT jobs.

[Anonymous]

The Baby brings the bread. Old German saying. Every kid I had I got a promotion at work.

[Anonymous]

I have the flexible job and I’ve tried to make it perfect- 150k, 1 mile from home, telework 3x a week but I’m still drowning. I really wish I was part time and 75k.

I can’t ever seem to make everything work. And when we get home from daycare, school and work, there’s no dinner waiting for me and the house is always a mess.

[Anonymous]

we live in a tiny apartment in nyc so my kids have always done after school activities and sports till about 5-5.30 since they were pretty young. the alternative would be them sitting in our apartment on ipads even if i stayed home so I don't feel like it's a bad thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Warehousing of kids, overseen by surly (and sometimes sketch teenagers) without zero adults around : my experience at every camp aftercare.

And aftercare in general, school and camp, definitely reenacts Lord of the Flies.

this is wildly untrue.
at our private the aftercare is classes and sports. at camp it's extra sports. granted those are 'nice' options but I toured a public middle for my oldest one and their aftercare is 2 activities (sports or classes). Idk where you guys are sending your kids that the aftercare is so terrible but mine given the option choose aftercare rather than going home early even if given the option bc that's what their friends are doing and where they hang out rather than being alone on ipad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had a similar sentiment at the start of camp (our first summer needing it). Work flexibility/WFH and family-friendly culture are key - things have shifted this way especially after COVID but still a ways to go. Also wish we could do away with the outdated notion of the 40-hour work week.

If we had less than a 40 hour work week, people would take on more hours somewhere else or another job even to get ahead of others--just like people thought two income household's would get them ahead, but now it evens out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have flexible and interesting jobs and one child. We don't worry about money and each have time to relax. Not surprised studies show women with one child are happier than women with no or multiple children.

+1 and I also have two sets of local grandparents who are lovely. And enough funds to outsource a lot of stuff. I'm pretty happy and would HATE being a sahm.

+2. It’s really the second child that makes life very complex. I have two, and were it not for some flexibility in my job and involved grandparents, I would quit. With just one, I wouldn’t need any of those things really.

Honestly, we need more PT options in this country, especially in competitive fields like law, finance, consulting. And I mean real PT options, not poorly paid ones or ones that are stealth FT jobs.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Warehousing of kids, overseen by surly (and sometimes sketch teenagers) without zero adults around : my experience at every camp aftercare.

And aftercare in general, school and camp, definitely reenacts Lord of the Flies.

this is wildly untrue.
at our private the aftercare is classes and sports. at camp it's extra sports. granted those are 'nice' options but I toured a public middle for my oldest one and their aftercare is 2 activities (sports or classes). Idk where you guys are sending your kids that the aftercare is so terrible but mine given the option choose aftercare rather than going home early even if given the option bc that's what their friends are doing and where they hang out rather than being alone on ipad.

+1. After care at our school was actually pretty good and my kid often wanted to stay longer when I picked him up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have flexible and interesting jobs and one child. We don't worry about money and each have time to relax. Not surprised studies show women with one child are happier than women with no or multiple children.

+1 and I also have two sets of local grandparents who are lovely. And enough funds to outsource a lot of stuff. I'm pretty happy and would HATE being a sahm.

+2. It’s really the second child that makes life very complex. I have two, and were it not for some flexibility in my job and involved grandparents, I would quit. With just one, I wouldn’t need any of those things really.

Honestly, we need more PT options in this country, especially in competitive fields like law, finance, consulting. And I mean real PT options, not poorly paid ones or ones that are stealth FT jobs.

+1

People will take two of these pt jobs to get ahead.