Took 1.5 years to find this hire and she quits after a week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if she was in the running for another job that she wanted more. She didn't want to let this job go and the other wasn't coming through. Then it came through and she wanted to take it. Hence, the dementia story.

It's possible that the other job was in same city where her DH is caring for the father.

It's unfortunate, and all we can do here is guess, but if this is the case I totally understand why she would do it. If DH isn't working she had to take whatever job was available, though hoped for something in the same city.

Yeah maybe kind of a hybrid lie? Although in that situation personally I don't see why I would lie. I would just say "another opportunity I can't pass up came along, and it helps my family because we can relocate to be near my DH's father and family farm. So sorry for the timing etc."

She told me they knew he wasn’t doing well but in the email it was worse than they had known. I don’t know still seems like a lie to me.

[Anonymous]

She obviously doesn't want to work in that role. She may be lying about the caregiving, or she may not be. If she really wanted to stay in the role and there was indeed a family crisis, she could have asked for unpaid leave, remote work, etc. but she didn't and it's clear she doesn't want to work for you. It shouldn't take 1.5 years to fill a role. There is obviously something dysfunctional in the organization or management if that is the case

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if she was in the running for another job that she wanted more. She didn't want to let this job go and the other wasn't coming through. Then it came through and she wanted to take it. Hence, the dementia story.

It's possible that the other job was in same city where her DH is caring for the father.

It's unfortunate, and all we can do here is guess, but if this is the case I totally understand why she would do it. If DH isn't working she had to take whatever job was available, though hoped for something in the same city.

Yeah maybe kind of a hybrid lie? Although in that situation personally I don't see why I would lie. I would just say "another opportunity I can't pass up came along, and it helps my family because we can relocate to be near my DH's father and family farm. So sorry for the timing etc."

She told me they knew he wasn’t doing well but in the email it was worse than they had known. I don’t know still seems like a lie to me.

I don't know why this bothers you so much. It doesn't impact your situation at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She obviously doesn't want to work in that role. She may be lying about the caregiving, or she may not be. If she really wantedh to stay in the role and there was indeed a family crisis, she could have asked for unpaid leave, remote work, etc. but she didn't and it's clear she doesn't want to work for you. It shouldn't take 1.5 years to fill a role. There is obviously something dysfunctional in the organization or management if that is the case

Can you ask for remote work as a new hire when that’s not the company’s policy though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if she was in the running for another job that she wanted more. She didn't want to let this job go and the other wasn't coming through. Then it came through and she wanted to take it. Hence, the dementia story.

It's possible that the other job was in same city where her DH is caring for the father.

It's unfortunate, and all we can do here is guess, but if this is the case I totally understand why she would do it. If DH isn't working she had to take whatever job was available, though hoped for something in the same city.

Yeah maybe kind of a hybrid lie? Although in that situation personally I don't see why I would lie. I would just say "another opportunity I can't pass up came along, and it helps my family because we can relocate to be near my DH's father and family farm. So sorry for the timing etc."

I'm the PP you're responding to, and I agree that some people would be straightforward and say they have another opportunity, but plenty of others who know that this would really infuriate the hiring person are hoping the "human" angle of caretaking for dementia patient mitigates the anger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She obviously doesn't want to work in that role. She may be lying about the caregiving, or she may not be. If she really wanted to stay in the role and there was indeed a family crisis, she could have asked for unpaid leave, remote work, etc. but she didn't and it's clear she doesn't want to work for you. It shouldn't take 1.5 years to fill a role. There is obviously something dysfunctional in the organization or management if that is the case

Not getting the vibe from op that they sounded remotely accommodating and like they'd indulge this sort of request. If they worked her to the bone her very first few days, it was a sign that didn't bode well, and she reacted based on that and instincts about the workplace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if she was in the running for another job that she wanted more. She didn't want to let this job go and the other wasn't coming through. Then it came through and she wanted to take it. Hence, the dementia story.

It's possible that the other job was in same city where her DH is caring for the father.

It's unfortunate, and all we can do here is guess, but if this is the case I totally understand why she would do it. If DH isn't working she had to take whatever job was available, though hoped for something in the same city.

Yeah maybe kind of a hybrid lie? Although in that situation personally I don't see why I would lie. I would just say "another opportunity I can't pass up came along, and it helps my family because we can relocate to be near my DH's father and family farm. So sorry for the timing etc."

I'm the PP you're responding to, and I agree that some people would be straightforward and say they have another opportunity, but plenty of others who know that this would really infuriate the hiring person are hoping the "human" angle of caretaking for dementia patient mitigates the anger.

Well I guess OP IS angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She obviously doesn't want to work in that role. She may be lying about the caregiving, or she may not be. If she really wanted to stay in the role and there was indeed a family crisis, she could have asked for unpaid leave, remote work, etc. but she didn't and it's clear she doesn't want to work for you. It shouldn't take 1.5 years to fill a role. There is obviously something dysfunctional in the organization or management if that is the case

Not getting the vibe from op that they sounded remotely accommodating and like they'd indulge this sort of request. If they worked her to the bone her very first few days, it was a sign that didn't bode well, and she reacted based on that and instincts about the workplace.

+1 and family priorities. Does seem there's a good the position has not been filled for so long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She obviously doesn't want to work in that role. She may be lying about the caregiving, or she may not be. If she really wantedh to stay in the role and there was indeed a family crisis, she could have asked for unpaid leave, remote work, etc. but she didn't and it's clear she doesn't want to work for you. It shouldn't take 1.5 years to fill a role. There is obviously something dysfunctional in the organization or management if that is the case

Can you ask for remote work as a new hire when that’s not the company’s policy though?

DP here: you can ask for anything when you're going through the hiring process. The company can always say "No" but you won't know unless you ask.

Given that it took the OP 1.5 years to fill the role, they should probably think about relaxing the in-person requirement. It's clear that their inflexible position on remote work is sabotaging the organization from filling the role, especially if it involves a niche skillset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if she was in the running for another job that she wanted more. She didn't want to let this job go and the other wasn't coming through. Then it came through and she wanted to take it. Hence, the dementia story.

It's possible that the other job was in same city where her DH is caring for the father.

It's unfortunate, and all we can do here is guess, but if this is the case I totally understand why she would do it. If DH isn't working she had to take whatever job was available, though hoped for something in the same city.

Yeah maybe kind of a hybrid lie? Although in that situation personally I don't see why I would lie. I would just say "another opportunity I can't pass up came along, and it helps my family because we can relocate to be near my DH's father and family farm. So sorry for the timing etc."

She told me they knew he wasn’t doing well but in the email it was worse than they had known. I don’t know still seems like a lie to me.

Well I don't know how you could reach adulthood without knowing anyone who had a parent with dementia, but "we knew he wasn't doing well but it was worse than we knew" is the story 99% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HR person here - managers like the OP drive me crazy.

+1 from an HR manager. There are always those managers who have a hard time recruiting and keeping team members.

Agree that family issues aside, OP might be a complete nightmare to work for or the position is too demanding for a single resource. Either way, OP needs to rework the role description and accommodations.

[Anonymous]

How is it possible to have what sounds like a big and important role open for 1.5 years???

[Anonymous]

I believe her, but honestly, if this was her dream job, if she needed the money, or if she even just liked it, she'd likely have asked for a remote accommodation, not just quit.

It happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe her, but honestly, if this was her dream job, if she needed the money, or if she even just liked it, she'd likely have asked for a remote accommodation, not just quit.

It happens.

She probably got the strong vibes that this is not a remote-friendly company after one week on the job. She didn't even bother to ask!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is it possible to have what sounds like a big and important role open for 1.5 years???

Sounds like they were extremely picky, let a lot fall by the wayside as necessary work wasn't getting done for so long, and then they pounced on this poor woman with a million requests the minute she came in.