Took 1.5 years to find this hire and she quits after a week

[Anonymous]

Also, this is her finance’s father, not even her husband. I never saw her wear a ring either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having managed many people over the past twenty years, I’d say she’s lying. But probably for good reason.

Why do you think she’s lying?

Because it came up too suddenly and very few people’s lives are flexible enough to just pick up and move like that. She planted the seed on Friday to be able to give the excuse on Monday. I’ve had something similar happen to me (only once in my career) and later learned the new employee had just shifted to another job that got her an offer a day after she’d started with us. Didn’t take it personally but it was very frustrating.

[Anonymous]

I worked at a pretty dysfunctional org once in my 20's and they hired a new person for a big role after a long process and the new person came to one staff meeting and never came back. At the time I had no perspective, but now I realize that person was 100% right! I would do the same thing if I got hired to that org now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having managed many people over the past twenty years, I’d say she’s lying. But probably for good reason.

Why do you think she’s lying?

Because it came up too suddenly and very few people’s lives are flexible enough to just pick up and move like that. She planted the seed on Friday to be able to give the excuse on Monday. I’ve had something similar happen to me (only once in my career) and later learned the new employee had just shifted to another job that got her an offer a day after she’d started with us. Didn’t take it personally but it was very frustrating.

Of course it’s too sudden…they just met her only a few days prior lol. If they don’t have kids then it’s not that hard to leave in the age of remote work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having managed many people over the past twenty years, I’d say she’s lying. But probably for good reason.

Why do you think she’s lying?

Because it came up too suddenly and very few people’s lives are flexible enough to just pick up and move like that. She planted the seed on Friday to be able to give the excuse on Monday. I’ve had something similar happen to me (only once in my career) and later learned the new employee had just shifted to another job that got her an offer a day after she’d started with us. Didn’t take it personally but it was very frustrating.

Of course it’s too sudden…they just met her only a few days prior lol. If they don’t have kids then it’s not that hard to leave in the age of remote work.

She said that her finance’s doctors said it’s better to keep him in a familiar place and that his family had a farm, so that’s where they were going (what she told me on Friday about her weekend plans)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am FURIOUS. It took me 1.5 years to find the right person. She comes and does great. I get her to meet with every department head, send out a company-wide email that she’s joined the team, she set up meetings with others for this week to discuss the plans she had to make changes to their teams, we had started to discuss future plans she wanted to make to the department, etc., so she got very involved her first week.

I asked her Friday what her plans were and she said that she had to fly to GA because her father in law had a rare form of dementia, he’s not doing well, it’s just her husband taking care of him, and they needed to meet his doctors and her husband was already down there meeting with some of them. Last night she sent me a resignation letter saying that he was doing worse than they had thought and it would be financially better to relocate there instead of hiring 24/7 home care. She was resigning immediate to stay there to take care of him.

I am incredibly furious and embarrassed that she would do this. Just needed to vent.

Not sure this is ever a good strategy for someone's first week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having managed many people over the past twenty years, I’d say she’s lying. But probably for good reason.

Why do you think she’s lying?

Because it came up too suddenly and very few people’s lives are flexible enough to just pick up and move like that. She planted the seed on Friday to be able to give the excuse on Monday. I’ve had something similar happen to me (only once in my career) and later learned the new employee had just shifted to another job that got her an offer a day after she’d started with us. Didn’t take it personally but it was very frustrating.

Well IDK if it's a lie, I don't think there would be a good reason to lie here. She could just say she had another opportunity she couldn't pass up or it wasn't a good fit.

The part that almost certainly IS a lie is that it was out of the blue, but what do you want? This isn't something that she would reasonably disclose during a hiring process and there's every reason to think that she really didn't know with certainty if the move was coming and when. If you've never had a parent with dementia, you might not realize how hard it can be to understand how much care is needed and when. Patients can be really good at masking on the phone etc and sometimes there is a spouse holding things together, and then that person has a fall or another health crisis and everyone finds out suddenly how bad it really is.

It's also totally possible that the financials are specific or weird, like maybe the parent(s) have a lot of money and the family decided to pay the adult child $1m to relocate and pay them a healthy salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am FURIOUS. It took me 1.5 years to find the right person. She comes and does great. I get her to meet with every department head, send out a company-wide email that she’s joined the team, she set up meetings with others for this week to discuss the plans she had to make changes to their teams, we had started to discuss future plans she wanted to make to the department, etc., so she got very involved her first week.

I asked her Friday what her plans were and she said that she had to fly to GA because her father in law had a rare form of dementia, he’s not doing well, it’s just her husband taking care of him, and they needed to meet his doctors and her husband was already down there meeting with some of them. Last night she sent me a resignation letter saying that he was doing worse than they had thought and it would be financially better to relocate there instead of hiring 24/7 home care. She was resigning immediate to stay there to take care of him.

I am incredibly furious and embarrassed that she would do this. Just needed to vent.

It's such a struggle to figure out why it takes you 1 1/2 years to fill a position.

[Anonymous]

If a new hire thought the place needed that many changes in her first week, I could see how she would just decide it wasn't the job for her. If it's a job that took 1.5 years to fill, either the employer is dysfunctional or the job description is unreasonable--probably both.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if she was in the running for another job that she wanted more. She didn't want to let this job go and the other wasn't coming through. Then it came through and she wanted to take it. Hence, the dementia story.

It's possible that the other job was in same city where her DH is caring for the father.

It's unfortunate, and all we can do here is guess, but if this is the case I totally understand why she would do it. If DH isn't working she had to take whatever job was available, though hoped for something in the same city.

[Anonymous]

OP if she just wanted to quit and came up with an elaborate lie about moving to Georgia, you definitely don't want the person who would do that working for you anyway. So that would be a bullet dodged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. She wasn’t the right person. After 1.5 years you still have not found the right person. I would change the job. If it isn’t fillable, you need to rethink it.

This. You are clearly being too picky about this position.

That and remote work isn't an option.

I should specify, it can go 2 days hybrid on set days after 3 months.

The way you described the job, it sounds very intense, large scope of responsibilities and large team. She needs less work and more flexibility NOW, not in three months.

[Anonymous]

OP, maybe think of it as one week of outside perspective on the job and how things are run at your company. Maybe you can learn something here that will help you do a better job of finding someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if she was in the running for another job that she wanted more. She didn't want to let this job go and the other wasn't coming through. Then it came through and she wanted to take it. Hence, the dementia story.

It's possible that the other job was in same city where her DH is caring for the father.

It's unfortunate, and all we can do here is guess, but if this is the case I totally understand why she would do it. If DH isn't working she had to take whatever job was available, though hoped for something in the same city.

Yeah maybe kind of a hybrid lie? Although in that situation personally I don't see why I would lie. I would just say "another opportunity I can't pass up came along, and it helps my family because we can relocate to be near my DH's father and family farm. So sorry for the timing etc."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having managed many people over the past twenty years, I’d say she’s lying. But probably for good reason.

Why do you think she’s lying?

Because it came up too suddenly and very few people’s lives are flexible enough to just pick up and move like that. She planted the seed on Friday to be able to give the excuse on Monday. I’ve had something similar happen to me (only once in my career) and later learned the new employee had just shifted to another job that got her an offer a day after she’d started with us. Didn’t take it personally but it was very frustrating.

Well IDK if it's a lie, I don't think there would be a good reason to lie here. She could just say she had another opportunity she couldn't pass up or it wasn't a good fit.

The part that almost certainly IS a lie is that it was out of the blue, but what do you want? This isn't something that she would reasonably disclose during a hiring process and there's every reason to think that she really didn't know with certainty if the move was coming and when. If you've never had a parent with dementia, you might not realize how hard it can be to understand how much care is needed and when. Patients can be really good at masking on the phone etc and sometimes there is a spouse holding things together, and then that person has a fall or another health crisis and everyone finds out suddenly how bad it really is.

It's also totally possible that the financials are specific or weird, like maybe the parent(s) have a lot of money and the family decided to pay the adult child $1m to relocate and pay them a healthy salary.

+1 this isn’t something you just talk about and potentially not get hired because you’ve got family stuff going on. Life happens unfortunately.