"Don't Text Me So Early!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work 7p-7a. I realize I'm the odd one out so keep my texts 8a-9p. She could have handled this better, but you really shouldn't text so early, especially for family members who probably have your numbers on the list of contacts to go around the DND

Who keeps their SIL as a break through emergency contact?

NP. I do. She lives close to my elderly ILs. DH and I would want to know if anything is going on, and she’d likely text both of us if something were happening. Yes, she would call if one of them died, but she’d probably text if it was, like, “We just arrived at the ER because FIL was having chest pains; they’re doing his initial checks now. Will update soon.”

This SIL is married to her brother. She'd want to know if something happened to him. Think about this from her perspective. She was probably jolted out of bed thinking there was an emergency. Now she can't go back to sleep due to adrenaline and might have been woken up at at bad part of the sleep cycle that will affect her whole day. That's what she was reacting to.

Plus it was rude to text her about a non-emergency that early. Her only potential rudeness was not saying please, but setting the boundary itself was not rude.

I never said otherwise. In fact, I agree with you. You literally asked “who keeps their SIL as a break through emergency contact,” and I answered. See. How that works?

Anyway, this is why texting outside of 8 a.m. to about 9 p.m. for non-emergencies is rude, and I don’t do it. That said, I wouldn’t snap at someone for texting, I would ask them nicely to please not text me about non-emergencies super early or late because they are a breakthrough emergency contact.

SIL was rude, so was OP.

[Anonymous]

100% not you - people need to understand their phone settings and use them.

I wake up to messages from my sister (a teacher) all the time since she’s up by 5 am. Or from my SIL on the west coast texting late. I have my texts on silent 24 hours a day. I leave my ringer on so I’ll catch any emergencies.

On that note, phone calls before 8 AM *are* rude. Texts are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100% not you - people need to understand their phone settings and use them.

I wake up to messages from my sister (a teacher) all the time since she’s up by 5 am. Or from my SIL on the west coast texting late. I have my texts on silent 24 hours a day. I leave my ringer on so I’ll catch any emergencies.

On that note, phone calls before 8 AM *are* rude. Texts are not.

Even if there was some kind of universal agreement as to times to text and phone settings, all SIL did was set a boundary (i.e., what she wants and not about OP) and OP is acting like that makes her awful. If it was just should I have texted someone at 6:51, then we wouldn't need to know who it was or that she's snobby, etc. This whole thing is being colored by OP's prior dislike of her.

[Anonymous]

I hate it when people text me before 8 am. I am a night owl and woukd never text anyone after 10 pm. I started texting the early birds at 2 am and they stopped texting me at 630 am.

I use same time frame as calls. 8 am - 9 pm unless otherwise instructed..

[Anonymous]

I mean she could have worded it better but I think at least half of us agree that we don’t text before 8 or after 10. I think she’s fine to ask you to abide by those limits. Or just email her if you really can’t wait.

[Anonymous]

You’re in the wrong, OP. Don’t text people that early, especially not your SIL now that she has let you know not to.

[Anonymous]

I have kids and elderly parents and ancient inlaws, including some who live overseas. I don't silence my phone.

It's thoughtless to text before 7am unless you know someone is an early riser or you know she always silences her phone overnight.

If the stupid HS graduation isn't happening this morning you don't need to be texting about it at 6:51 in the morning.

[Anonymous]

YTA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have kids and elderly parents and ancient inlaws, including some who live overseas. I don't silence my phone.

It's thoughtless to text before 7am unless you know someone is an early riser or you know she always silences her phone overnight.

If the stupid HS graduation isn't happening this morning you don't need to be texting about it at 6:51 in the morning.

For all you sanctimony, you need to understand it is EIGHT A.M., not 7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% not you - people need to understand their phone settings and use them.

I wake up to messages from my sister (a teacher) all the time since she’s up by 5 am. Or from my SIL on the west coast texting late. I have my texts on silent 24 hours a day. I leave my ringer on so I’ll catch any emergencies.

On that note, phone calls before 8 AM *are* rude. Texts are not.

Even if there was some kind of universal agreement as to times to text and phone settings, all SIL did was set a boundary (i.e., what she wants and not about OP) and OP is acting like that makes her awful. If it was just should I have texted someone at 6:51, then we wouldn't need to know who it was or that she's snobby, etc. This whole thing is being colored by OP's prior dislike of her.

It’s not setting a boundary to say people can only communicate you within certain time windows. It’s being high maintenance. A boundary is something you can personally enforce, such as not responding during hours that are not good for you.

[Anonymous]

I sleep with my phone on another floor so I have no dog in this fight, but 8am or later on a weekday and 9am or later on a weekend is pretty common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to keep other people's life circumstances in mind. Think about people with teens who might be out late at night, want to go to sleep but still hear their phones in case of emergency. Or an elderly parent who may need to contact them in an emergency. These are the reasons I don't completely silence my phone. So I agree, do not text people in off hours. It's no differen than calling them, which you wouldn't do.

+1 No texts before 8AM

I have that feeling about texts after 8pm.

I don't care about texts after 5am, but I hate the ones after 8pm.

[Anonymous]

Don’t anyone you have friends in different time zones? Internationally? None of these alleged standards work.

[Anonymous]

I don't text before 8am except for an emergency. Yes, there is DnD, but sometimes people forget to put it on, so why risk it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't text before 8am except for an emergency. Yes, there is DnD, but sometimes people forget to put it on, so why risk it?

Especially on a weekend morning when they actually be able to get a little extra sleep!