Post Divorce Dating - Freaked about long-term security

[Anonymous]

I think op is a guy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think op is a guy

Gal here, and same advice for a guy, right? Maybe there is a stereotype that men aren't real men if they don't rescue/provide for/support a pretty woman -- but, OP, don't believe that. It is a real red flag that your new partner hasn't saved anything or rebuilt at all in a decade. Also, certainly the fact that your partner had a high-conflict, nasty divorce doesn't mean your partner contributed but I would be wary about that too, given the financial irresponsibility.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for all the replies; even the ridiculous ones. Like a PP, not sure why affairs are a common theme in the comments on this board. Really weird fixation, if you ask me. Anyhow. That’s enough of that.

My partner makes good money - $200k+ annually, but is constantly worried about money, and has not made saving a priority. Maybe I was looking for validation that my gut was right, that marriage and mingling finances would be a bad idea.

It’s a shame. We are in love, and they care for me in ways I’ve never experienced which is really, really fulfilling. Not sure they would be open to long term dating.

Thanks again, internet strangers. The levity is helpful and the AP comments are comical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the replies; even the ridiculous ones. Like a PP, not sure why affairs are a common theme in the comments on this board. Really weird fixation, if you ask me. Anyhow. That’s enough of that.

My partner makes good money - $200k+ annually, but is constantly worried about money, and has not made saving a priority. Maybe I was looking for validation that my gut was right, that marriage and mingling finances would be a bad idea.

It’s a shame. We are in love, and they care for me in ways I’ve never experienced which is really, really fulfilling. Not sure they would be open to long term dating.

Thanks again, internet strangers. The levity is helpful and the AP comments are comical.

Is he 52 name starts with W?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the replies; even the ridiculous ones. Like a PP, not sure why affairs are a common theme in the comments on this board. Really weird fixation, if you ask me. Anyhow. That’s enough of that.

My partner makes good money - $200k+ annually, but is constantly worried about money, and has not made saving a priority. Maybe I was looking for validation that my gut was right, that marriage and mingling finances would be a bad idea.

It’s a shame. We are in love, and they care for me in ways I’ve never experienced which is really, really fulfilling. Not sure they would be open to long term dating.

Thanks again, internet strangers. The levity is helpful and the AP comments are comical.

Being in your mid 50’s and not making saving money a priority while making $200k a year would be a big problem for me. That is simply bad decision making. If you do want to get married get a prenup to protect your savings plus force the person to develop a budget and savings plan. If this person is hoping to live off you make it clear that that won’t happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the replies; even the ridiculous ones. Like a PP, not sure why affairs are a common theme in the comments on this board. Really weird fixation, if you ask me. Anyhow. That’s enough of that.

My partner makes good money - $200k+ annually, but is constantly worried about money, and has not made saving a priority. Maybe I was looking for validation that my gut was right, that marriage and mingling finances would be a bad idea.

It’s a shame. We are in love, and they care for me in ways I’ve never experienced which is really, really fulfilling. Not sure they would be open to long term dating.

Thanks again, internet strangers. The levity is helpful and the AP comments are comical.

Is he 52 name starts with W?

OP here. No.

[Anonymous]

What does he spend his 200k on? Is there child supper or some big expense he has? Making 200k with a prior bankruptcy tells me they are not financially competent. They should have been able to put away 500k in the last 10 years which, when invested yearly would be like 700k ish now. If they continued that for another decade they could retire modestly with 1.5 or so in the bank plus social security. Worrrisome that they have nothing at all saved.