Upset my date

[Anonymous]

Duh you don't harp on someone if they like the food and then eat all of their's like a small child. You seem totally controlling and overbearing

[Anonymous]

1. I don’t say this to be harsh, but just wasn’t that in to you. If she was, this wouldn’t have been such a big deal and she just used the first excuse she had.

2. We had au pairs for years and it is such a pet peeve of mine when people order more food than they have an appetite for and then want to take it to use as a second free meal. Not saying your date did this, but it reminds me of our last au pair ordering way more food than she could eat so she can have restaurant meals for lunch/dinner the next day and not cook on my dime. I would choose to view your date as annoying for doing something similar or that she was using you for free food. Makes the sting of rejection less painful.

3. Don’t eat a second date’s food in the future. My husband eats my food I don’t finish all the time but he has earned more familiarity than you have. Don’t give the next one an excuse to cut bait and not give you a chance.

[Anonymous]

Eating off one another’s plates on date 2 is beyond bizarre. Who initiated that? I suspect it was you since you pretty quickly escalated to eating her entire meal. I would’ve declined a 3rd date as well on the basis that you have no sense of appropriateness. The good news is that this is a solvable problem — just practice some self-control and stop eating other people’s food when you barely know them.

[Anonymous]

OP, honestly I don't see why this would be a reason to drop you. There has to be another reason she's not telling you.

I think people are far too dismissive to others. Yes, eating her food was probably bad etiquette but you did ask and she did say yes. UNLESS she paid for her own meal, which is a different story.

I'd say you probably are better off finding someone else. I've had much worse happen to me on third, fourth or even tenth dates and in the grand scheme of things, this is minor. IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, honestly I don't see why this would be a reason to drop you. There has to be another reason she's not telling you.

I think people are far too dismissive to others. Yes, eating her food was probably bad etiquette but you did ask and she did say yes. UNLESS she paid for her own meal, which is a different story.

I'd say you probably are better off finding someone else. I've had much worse happen to me on third, fourth or even tenth dates and in the grand scheme of things, this is minor. IMO.

"Ask Culture" vs "Guess Culture".

[Anonymous]

You dodged a bullet. I'm a woman, and I've always been clear about how I feel and asked others to do the same. When I started dating my husband I told him to be honest about the meals I made and if he liked them because if he said he liked them I would make them again and I would rather know that he didn't like them than feed him food he hated. She shouldn't have said you could have it if she didn't mean it. Also, to be upset that you didn't get to take home leftovers seems weird to me, but to each their own I guess. However, the fact that she said one thing and meant another is annoying. This is like a spouse who says you can go away for the weekend with your friends and then acts like an a$$ when you return home. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have rejected guys for small things like not offering me food when I was hungry, not stopping for water when I was thirsty.. just common courtesy things I believe can not be taught in adulthood.

+1 yes!
I rejected a guy who only served soup and bread for dinner. When people show you who they are, believe them

You "showed' him you need a lot of food? He should have believed you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I paid if it matters and the portion sizes were small to medium, which is why I assumed she didn’t like it.

Small to medium for you. Clearly—since you also ate a second main course. Are you overweight? Tell the truth.

Irrelevant fat shaming of someone who might not even be overweight. Shame on you. DP

Fine, maybe he’s not overweight, just gluttonous. Who eats two entrees?!

Someone who thinks their dining partner's entree was particularly delicious?

Oink oink!

Different values. I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't enjoy food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was kind of a jerk thing to do on a second date, but any woman worth keeping around isn’t going to be bothered by something so trivial as not having food to take home. If she wanted it she should have said so at the time instead of giving it to you. Chalk it up to lesson learned what not to do ona second date, but also what kind of woman doesn’t make a good future relationship.

But if he's already willing to take liberties like this on a second date what is he going to do down the line? This would worry me.

He might share food with her in the future!!!11!omgzounds

[Anonymous]

I found a by beast match when I stopped playing games about to impress people with etiquette rules.

If you match someone using a fake persona, at least talk without your whole life, or have to deal with delayed facing reality.
I dated like I live, and met someone who does the same, and we get along together.
I don't miss any of the people who didn't get along with who I am. Why should you bother yourself about them?

[Anonymous]

You just weren’t a match for her it seems.

I live by the rule that food and music are for sharing, and yes I realize music is not consumed the way food is but the point is they are both so much more enjoyable in good company. Some people are weirdly protective of their food. I can’t imagine eating anything and not offering those around me, it was just the way I was brought up. My DH can happily just eat a bag of chips on the sofa and not even think for a second he should ask if I’d like some. But if I ask, he will give me the whole bag and will not ever hold it against me; so while DH and I differ to an extent on this, it seems you and your date had an insurmountable difference in approach to food sharing. I think yours is much closer to the median than hers is so I would guess you’ll have an easier time finding a good match, at least on this point.

Bon appetit!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You dodged a bullet. If she didn’t want you to eat it she should have said so. This would have been a common issue in the relationship(her saying one thing and meaning another). Consider yourself lucky.

yep, no one to have a relationship with, She is a future pain in the ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You dodged a bullet. If she didn’t want you to eat it she should have said so. This would have been a common issue in the relationship(her saying one thing and meaning another). Consider yourself lucky.

+1

- signed a woman who usually doesn't finish her restaurant meal.

She needs to speak up. She could've easily said, "Oh, I'm going to take this home for leftovers later. It's yummy but I'm not hungry right now."

Otherwise, I would have no problem with my date finishing my meal since I didn't want it. I hate to see food go to waste.

You're better off.

[Anonymous]

I think she did you a favor. If you aren’t hungry, why order a large meal? Order something small or light. Who orders a large meal to take home leftovers on a date? Especially an early one. She was bummed to miss out on her free meal but was probably going to dump you anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I paid if it matters and the portion sizes were small to medium, which is why I assumed she didn’t like it.

You did nothing wrong, IMO. I bet she's high maintenance, too.

- a woman