Upset my date

[Anonymous]

I have been dating men and I found found some can be weird around food and sharing food. 40s men.

One guy told me (who I dated for months) that I had to share with him—before we even ordered —if I planned to try his food. This was his preference. He said that it would help him order enough. I found out this preference about after he made a big deal about my trying off his plate.

I asked him about it at the next dinner date. We had about two discussions about this topic over a couple of weeks. It ultimately didn’t work out. The guy was weird on other things too. —a bit nitpicky.

listen to advice above. it’s sound

[Anonymous]

She wasn’t that into you- women will put up with far, far worse and some would think it was endearing that you had a big appetite and be excited over the intimacy of sharing food. In the future, don’t eat off of date’s plates or finish their food until you’re in an established/sleeping together relationship where she will not hesitate to tell you it annoys her.

[Anonymous]

It was rude to eat a bunch of her food. You shouldn't put a guest (which is what a date is) on the spot.

It is also weird to take food home from a date. Who takes a doggy bag home from a date with someone you've just met.

And it is a bad sign that she can't express herself honestly, even if put in an awkward situation.

You both could use some help on social graces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is very awkward that you asked to eat her food. I also think it is awkward that she didn't eat it and wanted to take it home but didn't say so when you asked to eat it. It's awkward all around.

Don't let it bother you. Move on. Don't eat a woman's food on a second date again; you need to know someone pretty well to do that.

And this is the best advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should've just said she wanted to take it home.

Frankly, I think it was tacky to ask her for her food on a date. But it's also pretty tacky to ask for a doggy bag on a date.

Let it go. If she was really into you, this wouldn't have mattered. I guess she just isn't.

Food waste is what’s tacky. If your values don’t align, happy to toss you back into the sea.

I don't waste food.
But if I went on a date, I wouldn't order food I wasn't hungry enough to eat, or order too much so that I could take some home.

NP. Unless you just order some little side salad, any entree these days is going to be stupidly huge. You can't control what portion comes out of the kitchen. You seem to think this woman over-ordered so she could take some home but for all you know, the restaurant served a much bigger portion than she anticipated. Funny that you think you can perfectly control the situation and ensure you get an ideal portion just the way you want it. Unless it's a super high-end place with minuscule bites for huge bucks, many places now serve ridiculous portion sizes. This isn't about her portion or doggy bags. It's about the OP being boorish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's mad at herself, not you. She should have used her words like a big girl, and said "Actually I'm not hungry right now but want to take this home for later."

+1

Yes, she definitely should have told you this directly - I concur.

This is a weird hill for her to die on but think of it as you dodging some form of bullet & move on to other dates. 🩷

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She ate before you got there so she could make it look like she eats like a bird.

And yes eating her food was crass.

Why? Sound stupid to me, and I am a woman.

[Anonymous]

She's a nut case. Count yourself lucky.

[Anonymous]

Who paid for dinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She might be a huge catch. She knew she could do better. Not some dude with a homeless-sized appetite.

Why are you bringing the homeless into this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who paid for dinner?

This doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

Seems like a total lack common sense on your end. No chance I’d eat a dates food. Duh. Even if she’s cool with it. Didn’t you already eat yours? Eating hers is just gluttonous. Come on man. Do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I paid if it matters and the portion sizes were small to medium, which is why I assumed she didn’t like it.

Small to medium for you. Clearly—since you also ate a second main course. Are you overweight? Tell the truth.

Irrelevant fat shaming of someone who might not even be overweight. Shame on you. DP

DP. I think it’s very relevant. If OP is overweight and is overeating, that is a lifestyle difference that may not appeal to a lot of health-conscious people. If OP is fit and just needs more calories, that is a different story.

[Anonymous]

We really don’t know how this all went down. Did OP eat his dates food by continuing to reach across the table? Did he stack her plate messily on his and hunker over the plate? Are his manners generally atrocious? His dare may have been turned off by more than the mere sharing of food but tight want to tell OP the entire reason.

I’m not Emily post by any stretch, but loud chewing, awkward / messy dining habits, esp at a restaurant, would be a huge turnoff for me.

[Anonymous]

You are absolutely not a jerk. Take them out the hood, keep them looking good but don’t feed them a whole meal to go. If she wasn’t eating it and didn’t honestly claim it then it was fair game. How does she know you didn’t grow up food insecure and hate wasting food?