What's the deal with entitled, jerky dog owners*
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Anonymous
Someone who is afraid of being attacked by your dog who is lunging and growling at them is not "shaming and blaming" you. They are afraid. Of the animal with bared teeth who is behaving towards them with hostility in a public space. Yes, you do need to worry about them. The way you describe this is so emblematic of the problem with the bad dog owners. You want us all to treat your "reactive dog" like they are a child with special needs, instead of what they actually are, which is an untrained animal who poses a threat to other people's health and well-being. You feel shame and blame? Go see a therapist, it's not relevant to me. Better hope your dog doesn't successfully attack someone while you are out walking it, because then you'll have to worry about your dog (who will be put down) as well as the innocent bystander who was harmed by YOUR negligence and irresponsibility. Feel shame! Feel blame! It is your fault. If you cannot properly train and control your dog, DON'T GET A DOG. |
Anonymous
Then you need to stay off of public paths and trails, and be incredibly conscious on sidewalks, until you have worked with your dogs behavioral issues. It is no one else's burden to deal with your "anxious" dog while out and about just doing their thing. |
Anonymous
DP but I agree that leaving a bag of feces tied to a tree so you can pick it up later is gross. Imagine if a human took a dump in a plastic bag on their hike and then left it tied to a tree to "pick up later." Does that sound like a normal thing to do to you? Also consider that many people pick up litter when they hike, and if they saw a piece of plastic tied to a tree might try to grab it or remove it in order to dispose of it. They are now grabbing your dog's $hit, a lovely reward for doing a good deed. Parents of babies deal with this all the time, by the way. I've been on a hike when my baby has pooped in a diaper. Did I tie that diaper to a tree to pick up later? No, because I'm not an a$$hole. I put the poopy diaper in lined bag that I used to carry around with me everywhere for this precise reason, and put it in the bottom of the hiking backpack, and then disposed of the diaper in an appropriate receptacle. Because I'm not a selfish d!ck. |
Anonymous
+1 Also, having dealt with dog owners like this, 9 times out of 10 their dog is anxious because they have adopted a dog without having the lifestyle or set up to give their dog what he or she needs. Their dog is anxious because they spend too much time cooped up at home, don't go on enough walks, have a wide variety of caregivers because their owner is often at work or traveling, have never received proper training, etc. If you've had your dog for over a year and the dog is still "anxious" then the problem is you. Especially if you got your dog as a puppy. You did this. It's not my job to accommodate your crappy dog ownership. Also, I know people who foster and train older dogs who have been rehomed or abandoned, and they do not just assume random strangers on the street or at the park will deal with these dogs poor socialization. They often walk these dogs at off hours and take them places where they know there will be fewer people and dogs so they can socialize them slowly before getting them on a more normal schedule and introducing them to more people. Because that is what is best for the dogs, and also what is safest for other people and their dogs. |
Anonymous
I've never tied it to a tree. |
Anonymous
You are confused. You can be trained and still be reactive. Being reactive is a result of their feelings and it can be biological. I get that you don't care but, sometimes you get the dog you get and they have problems. And by the way I am not expecting you to treat my dog. In fact, I would prefer you ignore. Just kindly do not expect me to talk to you, do not walk super close to us ( this is very dangerous for any dog) and cross the street when you see that there is a dog that is lunging at you. btw, if a dog is barking and lunging it is reactive, not "reactive" About the shame and blame you sound very unhinged. When you have a child or dog that misbehaves you can feel mildly shamed but, it isn't pathological that requires therapy. And I am being very responsible with my dog |
Anonymous
It is obvious you know nothing. My dog whom I adopted at 8 weeks old was socialized. We starting puppy kindergarten and have been in some training since then ( going to be three soon) My dog was born to a homeless anxious mother. I know of one of his siblings who is also anxious. He is on anxiety medication and we are in training to improve his life so he is not as reactive. So, I do not accept blame My other dog whom I adopted at age two was a bit nervous around some dogs but, loved kids and people. I didn't do anything but, her personaltiy was very different from the start. Are some people to blame for anxious dogs? Sure. But there are a lot of people like me who through no fault of their own have an anxious dog. I will not return this dog because they are a member of the family and I made a promise. |
Anonymous
| Owner has a dog because it is the only source of companionship because the owner is a jerk and has no human to socialize with. |
Anonymous
Ehhh. I have trained service dogs for 10 years and have 2 beautifully behaved dogs myself (essentially trained at that level because that's what we do in our home) and don't engage in this behavior. We don't do dog parks, we don't do offleash, we pick up every time and even after others, my dogs are relaxed and socialized and friendly around others. The WORST owners are the couples with young kids. Usually a Doodle, but it can be other. They don't have the time and patience to commit to good ownership and their beasts are WILD. I tell everyone they need to have and train a dog before they have kids or not get one til last kid is in elementary at least. No one listens. These people all have many people to socialize with, they just didn't know dogs need work. We see this on this forum constantly. The people with lack of companionship? I've seen some of this, and they sometimes do take on more high-risk rescues, but they actually seem to try harder. I've known some that go to extremes trying to reform these dogs, but they're the ones spending 10k on trainers and behavior mod. As an owner myself they are less likely to be the problem than the clueless. |
Anonymous
Do you hear yourself? You want other people to give your dog a wide berth on sidewalks (despite them having no idea when approaching you that your dog has these problems), cross the street to escape your lunging, growling dog, and also have zero expectation of communication from you about what is obviously a dangerous animal in your care. That is not a reasonable expectation from the people who live around you. No. If your dog is so reactive that they cannot walk down a sidewalk in your neighborhood without lunging, barking, or growling at people walking by, then the answer is: you should not be walking that dog not hat sidewalk. No person should ever have to cross a street to keep themselves safe from your dog. What if the person in question has mobility problems and can't move that quickly? What if it's an adult with a toddler for preschooler? What if the street is very busy and they need to be cautious of traffic? The problem is that you view these issues as just inevitable, and just something everyone in the community has to deal with because you've decided your dog has an emotional predisposition for reactivity and there's nothing to be done. Who knows, maybe you are right. In that case, you can move to a place where your dog can get most of their exercise away from people, or you can rehome the dog. It is not the duty of your neighbors and people in your community to accommodate your dog, who sounds dangerous, simply because you've decide his behavior is innate. You are NOT a responsible dog owner. You are the problem. |
Anonymous
My god, what a victim you are. |
Anonymous
Agree that people who adopt dogs when they already have young kids at home tend to have really awful dogs. It's a true mystery to me why anyone thinks that's a good time to adopt a dog. I have also come across a lot of young dog owners who don't have kids but who had very irresponsible ideas about dog ownership. People who adopt dogs while in college or grad school, or in their 20s when they are working full time jobs and may have limited flexibility in their schedule and active social lives. Sometimes people like this "get it" and really do what needs to be done with their dogs. But more often they don't and this is why there are a lot of ill-behaved dogs in urban centers with a lot of young professionals. Some of them even go on to have kids and then they are also to parents with young kids and the poorly behaved dog. I think this was a group that was especially prone to getting dogs during the pandemic, and this is one reason why it feels like there are more bad dog owners around these days. |
Anonymous
DP, but I agree that it's dangerous to approach bad dog owners. I have done it twice. The first time was to inform someone that they needed to leash their dog in the park (there were dozens of posted signs, so I literally just pointed at the sign) and also to ask them to take their dog to a part of the park away from a playground where kids were playing. The second time was to ask a neighbor to not let his dog pee in our tree box as it was killing all the plantings. In both situations, the person became extremely angry to the point that I felt uncomfortable. I don't think they were going to sic their dog on me, but I didn't feel safe and the fact that there was an animal involved exacerbated that. There's a reason a lot of people get dogs for protection -- because it can feel empowering to have a loyal animal who oh just happens to have sharp teeth and a loud bark. After these experiences, I concluded that some percentage of bad dog owners are just inherently hostile people, and the only solution is to just stay away from them. I guess I'm going to have to move if I want to grow anything in my tree box or take my kids to a playground where there are not dogs roaming freely. Better than getting yelled at by some deranged person with a dog. |
Anonymous
So the PP needs to be concerned about the emotions of people she encounters on the street, but your reaction to others' emotions is "see a therapist, not my problem." Interesting. This says a lot about you. |
Anonymous
You have a very hostel way of answering and discussing this issue. Perhaps you are a "reactive human" yourself. However I am going to answer you politely and honestly. First of all, I would never rehome my dog. My dog is a lifelong responsibility. Something you clearly don't understand. I also cannot move so that is a non starter. My dog does not react to every dog and every person so my ability to walk him during non prime time is fine. I am working with a trainer and I have him on anxiety medication so I am not throwing up my arms and saying nothing can be done. What I am stating is just common sense. If i see a dog that is lunging and barking I do not continue to walk towards it nor do I expect the owner to stop focusing on their dog and talk to me. This is why I am a responsible dog owner. No one in my neighborhood fears my dog as he has not harmed anyone. I do not put him in a situation where something could happen. Again, the mark of a good dog owner. My hope is more people would understand that dogs are not robots and sometimes owners are doing their very best. So a little less judgement would be appreciated. I do not expect this from the pp though! |