Obnoxious Sister and Thanksgiving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

You're not going to have all the burners going at 8am. Do a lot of your prep the day before. Just have you sister clean up after herself and give her a time that she has to be out of the kitchen. But if you're having houseguests, they need to eat so you need to plan for that. Keeping things simple doesn't mean ignore all the meals but one. If everyone is well fed they are more likely to stay out of your way in the kitchen. Otherwise they will be grazing for hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.

No, PP. You’re wrong. OP couldn’t have made it more clear that her issues with her sister have nothing to do with Thanksgiving. She’s creating the drama here. Now we’re hearing for the first time that OP doesn’t like how her sister “babies” her adult sons. Etc.

The sister isn’t asking that OP make the guys breakfast. She’s offering to do it herself. So let her. And that everybody is going to sleep until noon is unadulterated bullshit. I’ve never known of a single family where all of the guests sleep in the host’s house until noon on Thanksgiving Day. It’s doesn’t happen. Either it’s an exaggeration or we’re talking about a family of weirdos of epic proportions, in which case the least of OP’s problem is that some of the guests want a hot breakfast.

OP is doing no one a favor by agreeing to have everyone at her house for Thanksgiving because it is centrally located and then stressing out about the entire process and taking it out on her guests. She needs to be more gracious and go with the flow. The dinner will be made. In one way or another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.

No, PP. You’re wrong. OP couldn’t have made it more clear that her issues with her sister have nothing to do with Thanksgiving. She’s creating the drama here. Now we’re hearing for the first time that OP doesn’t like how her sister “babies” her adult sons. Etc.

The sister isn’t asking that OP make the guys breakfast. She’s offering to do it herself. So let her. And that everybody is going to sleep until noon is unadulterated bullshit. I’ve never known of a single family where all of the guests sleep in the host’s house until noon on Thanksgiving Day. It’s doesn’t happen. Either it’s an exaggeration or we’re talking about a family of weirdos of epic proportions, in which case the least of OP’s problem is that some of the guests want a hot breakfast.

OP is doing no one a favor by agreeing to have everyone at her house for Thanksgiving because it is centrally located and then stressing out about the entire process and taking it out on her guests. She needs to be more gracious and go with the flow. The dinner will be made. In one way or another.

Or Op if there’s a time you don’t need the kitchen from day 9-10 or 8:30-930 apologize to your sister ask her and thank her for bringing the bagels and say the kitchen is free between this time if you’d like to make breakfast for everyone.

The fact that people on DCuM don’t seem to get the sister wants to make breakfast for her adult “boys.” What about everyone else? I find it rude to stay at someone’s house and only make food for your kids.

A family member did this Thanksgiving years ago. We went to their home and had sandwiches (not kidding) with old bread and deli meat! I brought a green salad and a quinoa salad thankfully but then the hosts daughters went into the fridge and took out Turkey and organic fruits and vegetables ti feed their grandkids but didn’t offer it to any other children or anyone else. I found it so rude! When my in laws host (everyone takes a turn) their either cook or cater a huge meal with many different options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

I think the breakfast casserole (or a premade quiche) would be a good--and easy--accompaniment to the bagels and cream cheese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

You're not going to have all the burners going at 8am. Do a lot of your prep the day before. Just have you sister clean up after herself and give her a time that she has to be out of the kitchen. But if you're having houseguests, they need to eat so you need to plan for that. Keeping things simple doesn't mean ignore all the meals but one. If everyone is well fed they are more likely to stay out of your way in the kitchen. Otherwise they will be grazing for hours.

Honestly do you read? I know my family. We will be up late Wednesday night after I have a full catered meal for everyone Wednesday night. I expect everyone will be rolling out of bed around 11 am or noon. I’m serving dinner at 4. I will have an egg bake to keep my sister quiet and based on advice here. That makes sense. But we live in the city. There is literally a Starbucks, a pizzeria, two restaurants and two delis two blocks away. When I suggested to my sister her adult boys ( mid twenties) options if they aren’t pleased with my breakfast spread her answer was that they didn’t have money for coffee and now she’s refusing to bring the bagels out of spite. That’s what I’m upset at. Can you focus on that if you feel the need to criticize? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.

No, PP. You’re wrong. OP couldn’t have made it more clear that her issues with her sister have nothing to do with Thanksgiving. She’s creating the drama here. Now we’re hearing for the first time that OP doesn’t like how her sister “babies” her adult sons. Etc.

The sister isn’t asking that OP make the guys breakfast. She’s offering to do it herself. So let her. And that everybody is going to sleep until noon is unadulterated bullshit. I’ve never known of a single family where all of the guests sleep in the host’s house until noon on Thanksgiving Day. It’s doesn’t happen. Either it’s an exaggeration or we’re talking about a family of weirdos of epic proportions, in which case the least of OP’s problem is that some of the guests want a hot breakfast.

OP is doing no one a favor by agreeing to have everyone at her house for Thanksgiving because it is centrally located and then stressing out about the entire process and taking it out on her guests. She needs to be more gracious and go with the flow. The dinner will be made. In one way or another.

Or Op if there’s a time you don’t need the kitchen from day 9-10 or 8:30-930 apologize to your sister ask her and thank her for bringing the bagels and say the kitchen is free between this time if you’d like to make breakfast for everyone.

The fact that people on DCuM don’t seem to get the sister wants to make breakfast for her adult “boys.” What about everyone else? I find it rude to stay at someone’s house and only make food for your kids.

A family member did this Thanksgiving years ago. We went to their home and had sandwiches (not kidding) with old bread and deli meat! I brought a green salad and a quinoa salad thankfully but then the hosts daughters went into the fridge and took out Turkey and organic fruits and vegetables ti feed their grandkids but didn’t offer it to any other children or anyone else. I found it so rude! When my in laws host (everyone takes a turn) their either cook or cater a huge meal with many different options.

+1 and sister is planning on making it with host's ingredients, as she has already reneged on bringing the bagels. I don't know why anyone is defending the sister here, unless they identify with her. She just wants to pop in like a hero but she's actually creating chaos and being very selfish. If she were truly helpful she'd figure out alternatives for her "boys" and others that day, and help sis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.

No, PP. You’re wrong. OP couldn’t have made it more clear that her issues with her sister have nothing to do with Thanksgiving. She’s creating the drama here. Now we’re hearing for the first time that OP doesn’t like how her sister “babies” her adult sons. Etc.

The sister isn’t asking that OP make the guys breakfast. She’s offering to do it herself. So let her. And that everybody is going to sleep until noon is unadulterated bullshit. I’ve never known of a single family where all of the guests sleep in the host’s house until noon on Thanksgiving Day. It’s doesn’t happen. Either it’s an exaggeration or we’re talking about a family of weirdos of epic proportions, in which case the least of OP’s problem is that some of the guests want a hot breakfast.

OP is doing no one a favor by agreeing to have everyone at her house for Thanksgiving because it is centrally located and then stressing out about the entire process and taking it out on her guests. She needs to be more gracious and go with the flow. The dinner will be made. In one way or another.

OP here. You make some good points and thank you for that. You are right- if I continue to pout myself by being mad or holding a grudge about my sister now refusing to bring bagels out of spite that makes me equally petty and spiteful. That’s why I’m venting here and it’s helpful to be reminded of this even if hard to hear. But for the record my family absolutely WILL roll out of bed between 11 and noon. They are all night owls. Brother has college aged boys, sister has mid-twenty boys and I have 2 teenage boys. Everyone arrives Wednesday and I’m certain it will be a late night for everyone. And yes, my sister has always babied her kids. I brought that up because a few posters recognized that and commented on it. Anyway, your post was helpful to keep me in check and I appreciate that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

You're not going to have all the burners going at 8am. Do a lot of your prep the day before. Just have you sister clean up after herself and give her a time that she has to be out of the kitchen. But if you're having houseguests, they need to eat so you need to plan for that. Keeping things simple doesn't mean ignore all the meals but one. If everyone is well fed they are more likely to stay out of your way in the kitchen. Otherwise they will be grazing for hours.

Honestly do you read? I know my family. We will be up late Wednesday night after I have a full catered meal for everyone Wednesday night. I expect everyone will be rolling out of bed around 11 am or noon. I’m serving dinner at 4. I will have an egg bake to keep my sister quiet and based on advice here. That makes sense. But we live in the city. There is literally a Starbucks, a pizzeria, two restaurants and two delis two blocks away. When I suggested to my sister her adult boys ( mid twenties) options if they aren’t pleased with my breakfast spread her answer was that they didn’t have money for coffee and now she’s refusing to bring the bagels out of spite. That’s what I’m upset at. Can you focus on that if you feel the need to criticize? Thanks.

And you know for a fact all these places are open on Thanksgiving? Look this is your problem to solve, not mine. Figure out breakfast or you're going to be dodging adult boys all day.

[Anonymous]

Your elderly mom and dad will sleep until noon? You don’t think ANYONE will have a hard time sleeping on an unfamiliar mattress and be up early? I just cannot imagine telling 15 people “eat a bagel and survive until 4pm.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your elderly mom and dad will sleep until noon? You don’t think ANYONE will have a hard time sleeping on an unfamiliar mattress and be up early? I just cannot imagine telling 15 people “eat a bagel and survive until 4pm.”

Fair enough. They definitely will be up sooner. And DCUM has already convinced mw that I need more food. I’m doing the breakfast casserole. It’s an excellent idea. But why isn’t anyone commenting on how obnoxious my sister is for now refusing to bring bagels? It’s so like her. My anger at that was what prompted me to post. Should I be equally petty and tell her she can’t have any bagels or the casserole I make since she is being a bossy and obnoxious guest? 😅 As you can see I’m still pissed about that and that’s where I need people to talk me off the ledge. It’s one small thing she could do but whatever that’s her.

[Anonymous]

Which is it OP? Your house is the biggest so you host? But your kitchen is small? I would guess you insisted on hosting, being dramatic about your aging parents (side not: stop thinking this could be the last Thanksgiving. My older sister started that about 8 or 10 years ago, but guess what, they're still here), and what choice does your sister have? The worst is being required to travel, stay in somebody else's house, then not having enough food. If you want to host, you simply have to be more gracious and flexible. Inflexible hosts are the absolute worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your elderly mom and dad will sleep until noon? You don’t think ANYONE will have a hard time sleeping on an unfamiliar mattress and be up early? I just cannot imagine telling 15 people “eat a bagel and survive until 4pm.”

Fair enough. They definitely will be up sooner. And DCUM has already convinced mw that I need more food. I’m doing the breakfast casserole. It’s an excellent idea. But why isn’t anyone commenting on how obnoxious my sister is for now refusing to bring bagels? It’s so like her. My anger at that was what prompted me to post. Should I be equally petty and tell her she can’t have any bagels or the casserole I make since she is being a bossy and obnoxious guest? 😅 As you can see I’m still pissed about that and that’s where I need people to talk me off the ledge. It’s one small thing she could do but whatever that’s her.

Your sister is being petty because you were being petty before her and pissed her off. It’s the obvious dynamic. No one is taking her side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.

Gimme a break. OP isn't mission control for Apollo 13, she's preparing Thanksgiving dinner. Millions of people have done that, for centuries.

Also, all this is about OP being miffed that her sister isn't bringing bagels? Seriously? So all OP has to do is go get 2 dozen, bagels, some cream cheese, and there's absolutely no other impact on her? Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your elderly mom and dad will sleep until noon? You don’t think ANYONE will have a hard time sleeping on an unfamiliar mattress and be up early? I just cannot imagine telling 15 people “eat a bagel and survive until 4pm.”

Fair enough. They definitely will be up sooner. And DCUM has already convinced mw that I need more food. I’m doing the breakfast casserole. It’s an excellent idea. But why isn’t anyone commenting on how obnoxious my sister is for now refusing to bring bagels? It’s so like her. My anger at that was what prompted me to post. Should I be equally petty and tell her she can’t have any bagels or the casserole I make since she is being a bossy and obnoxious guest? 😅 As you can see I’m still pissed about that and that’s where I need people to talk me off the ledge. It’s one small thing she could do but whatever that’s her.

Your sister is being petty because you were being petty before her and pissed her off. It’s the obvious dynamic. No one is taking her side.

You are being a child, OP. Seriously. If you want to stay mad, by all means, go for it. But this is easily fixable, and not worth the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your elderly mom and dad will sleep until noon? You don’t think ANYONE will have a hard time sleeping on an unfamiliar mattress and be up early? I just cannot imagine telling 15 people “eat a bagel and survive until 4pm.”

Fair enough. They definitely will be up sooner. And DCUM has already convinced mw that I need more food. I’m doing the breakfast casserole. It’s an excellent idea. But why isn’t anyone commenting on how obnoxious my sister is for now refusing to bring bagels? It’s so like her. My anger at that was what prompted me to post. Should I be equally petty and tell her she can’t have any bagels or the casserole I make since she is being a bossy and obnoxious guest? 😅 As you can see I’m still pissed about that and that’s where I need people to talk me off the ledge. It’s one small thing she could do but whatever that’s her.

Nobody cares about your sister and you seem like a piece of work too. You all deserve each other.