Obnoxious Sister and Thanksgiving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What time is the Thanksgiving meal on Thursday? My family does this lovely tradition where the main meal is around 4pm and all are expected to survive on air until then.

OP here. Dinner is planned for 4. I know my family ( including my own two teenage boys) - we will be up late Wednesday night and everyone will sleep in late - like think noon. I initially said my plan was to have bagels and cream cheese and then light appetizers if people are still hungry before 4 pm. I actually thought about a breakfast casserole but I never got that far with my sister because she started getting bossy and obnoxious and we ended the call. To the PP who said something to the effect that we are both at fault- of course there is some truth to that - but my sister truly is obnoxious and I try time and time again to ignore her, which of course I’ll do this time too. And yes her “ kids” are adults - mid- twenties. I’ll have other food in the house but I will rethink serving more for breakfast based on suggestions here. I’m not trying to starve anyone but really need the kitchen space. I have a big house but a tiny kitchen. And it’s classic that rather than be gracious my sister is now refusing to bring anything. She’s being spiteful in my opinion.

You are nuts. It takes minutes to cook eggs and make toast. I hate bagels.

And then you have to wash the pans and the dishes … it’s extremely extremely rude to expect to use the kitchen like that on Thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adult men don’t usually eat just a bagel for breakfast.

This is not OP. sounds Like sister wanted to make a huge breakfast for her own kids.

OP if you want you can get a huge thing of bacon at Costco and put in throw away oven tins won’t take long and add that quickly to the bagels. Or ask your sister to buy a quiche already cooked that can easily be put in the oven.

Or get a bunch of (non sugar filled) yogurts that the growing boys can eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What time is the Thanksgiving meal on Thursday? My family does this lovely tradition where the main meal is around 4pm and all are expected to survive on air until then.

OP here. Dinner is planned for 4. I know my family ( including my own two teenage boys) - we will be up late Wednesday night and everyone will sleep in late - like think noon. I initially said my plan was to have bagels and cream cheese and then light appetizers if people are still hungry before 4 pm. I actually thought about a breakfast casserole but I never got that far with my sister because she started getting bossy and obnoxious and we ended the call. To the PP who said something to the effect that we are both at fault- of course there is some truth to that - but my sister truly is obnoxious and I try time and time again to ignore her, which of course I’ll do this time too. And yes her “ kids” are adults - mid- twenties. I’ll have other food in the house but I will rethink serving more for breakfast based on suggestions here. I’m not trying to starve anyone but really need the kitchen space. I have a big house but a tiny kitchen. And it’s classic that rather than be gracious my sister is now refusing to bring anything. She’s being spiteful in my opinion.

You are nuts. It takes minutes to cook eggs and make toast. I hate bagels.

Not if people wake up at 12 and dinner is served at 4! Have you ever planned prepared and cooked a Thanksgiving meal?!!!

[Anonymous]

Oh holiest of days—thanksgiving—no one dares use stove or oven in kitchen unless making the much anticipated 4pm meal. Stupid to get so worked up about this a week in advance…OP, you as hostess should be more gracious and not worry so much about every little detail. If your sister and nephews and your own kids are really sleeping til noon and then wanting a big breakfast, why not just make a big egg casserole type dish the night before that you can easily pop in the oven? Yeah it’s mildly annoying and would be better if they’d just eat a bagel and chill but presumably you want people to be happy and well fed while staying in your home and bagels aren’t much of a breakfast for many adults.

Your sister should be more understanding and accommodating too of course but you are the hostess so act like a hostess by offering enough food for your guests.

If it’s too much then don’t offer to host next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What time is the Thanksgiving meal on Thursday? My family does this lovely tradition where the main meal is around 4pm and all are expected to survive on air until then.

OP here. Dinner is planned for 4. I know my family ( including my own two teenage boys) - we will be up late Wednesday night and everyone will sleep in late - like think noon. I initially said my plan was to have bagels and cream cheese and then light appetizers if people are still hungry before 4 pm. I actually thought about a breakfast casserole but I never got that far with my sister because she started getting bossy and obnoxious and we ended the call. To the PP who said something to the effect that we are both at fault- of course there is some truth to that - but my sister truly is obnoxious and I try time and time again to ignore her, which of course I’ll do this time too. And yes her “ kids” are adults - mid- twenties. I’ll have other food in the house but I will rethink serving more for breakfast based on suggestions here. I’m not trying to starve anyone but really need the kitchen space. I have a big house but a tiny kitchen. And it’s classic that rather than be gracious my sister is now refusing to bring anything. She’s being spiteful in my opinion.

You are nuts. It takes minutes to cook eggs and make toast. I hate bagels.

You’re nuts. I hate eggs. Feel better?

I hate eggs but I make them for others.

Expecting people not to eat until 4 PM is absurd. You need to feed breakfast and lunch.

I’m not OP. It’s not a hotel or free restaurant. Sounds like they are all adults and can help out and get their own breakfast. It’s family. Idk but I think hosting should be a bit different for family.

Also, who needs lunch on Thanksgiving? I don’t even eat breakfast, just have a coffee. If you can’t skip a meal on a day you will have one of the largest meals of the year I can’t help you. These aren’t young kids who get cranky (I can understand needing to feed children)!but 20 YOs!

[Anonymous]

Can you get some lox and hard boil a few eggs (in advance) to go with the bagels and cream cheese? I totally get wanting to the oven and stovetop free for thanksgiving prep, especially if people are sleeping until noon, but most people are going to need some protein to get them through until 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adult men don’t usually eat just a bagel for breakfast.

Most adult men (mid-twenties!) don’t have their mommy cooking a large breakfast exclusively for them in a group setting

[Anonymous]

Man! Let them have a big breakfast and clean up. Just say you need the kitchen by 8:30 to start cooking Thanksgiving food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you get some lox and hard boil a few eggs (in advance) to go with the bagels and cream cheese? I totally get wanting to the oven and stovetop free for thanksgiving prep, especially if people are sleeping until noon, but most people are going to need some protein to get them through until 4.

Came to suggest these ideas. Lox, hard boiled eggs, yogurt with granola and fruit will be great additions to the bagels and keep people out of the kitchen. OP’s teens might sleep til noon, but mid-20s adults could well be up a lot earlier than that.

FWIW I do think the sister is being ridiculous. A reasonable guest would understand keeping clear of the kitchen and figure out no-cook solutions, or offer to make something ahead that could be popped in the microwave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. If she had arranged bagels for breakfast why did you make the comment about not making a big breakfast? It sounds like she had it handled without needing the kitchen.

She asked what we were doing for breakfast. I said I would have bagels and cream cheese for everyone. She offered to bring them but then added that her boys would still be hungry and needed more food and she wanted to prepare breakfast for them and I asked her not to since I needed the kitchen space. I told her there is a Starbucks within walking distance if they needed anything else and she got upset at that saying her boys don’t have money for coffee. She was misinterpreting me, the call was getting heated, so we ended it. I just checked in today to see if she was still planning on bringing the bagels and she said no.

You were in the wrong. It’s entirely possible to whip up some eggs or pancakes or whatever for a couple of boys on Thanksgiving morning without making cooking dinner an impossibility. You sound high maintenance.

I agree with this, although I don’t think you sound high maintenance, OP, just nervous about pulling together thanksgiving dinner for 15 which is understandable! To try to put yourself in her shoes, if your teen/adult kids wanted eggs or whatever I’m sure you’d let them cook it that morning.

However, could you suggest a local diner and whoever wants a bigger breakfast can all go out there together? Might be good to get some people out of your hair that morning anyway!

[Anonymous]

Sis should probably bring along a box or two of Totinos. That will help sate the appetite of her hungry boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What time is the Thanksgiving meal on Thursday? My family does this lovely tradition where the main meal is around 4pm and all are expected to survive on air until then.

That is bizzare not to allow others to eat all daybb

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What time is the Thanksgiving meal on Thursday? My family does this lovely tradition where the main meal is around 4pm and all are expected to survive on air until then.

That is bizzare not to allow others to eat all daybb

Oops, all day. If you want to starve fine but if you have guests you feed them three meals.

[Anonymous]

OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.