Obnoxious Sister and Thanksgiving

[Anonymous]

I have a really difficult and oftentimes obnoxious sister. I am hosting my family of 15 people for Thanksgiving including my sister, my BIL, my sister’s two adult children and one of my nephew’s adult girlfriends. My elderly mom and dad, brother and his family are also coming. I’m am catering for all 15 people Wednesday night and preparing the Thanksgiving meal on Thursday. I also took specific drink and snack requests from her family so that they would have the things they wanted while staying at our house. I’m actually happy to have them all and appreciate that they are all willing to come so we can all spend the holiday together. My sister agreed to bring bagels and cream cheese for everyone for Thursday am but then got mad when I told her I didn’t want her cooking a big breakfast “ for her boys” on Thursday since I needed the kitchen space to prepare the Thanksgiving meal. When I asked her today if she was still going to bring the bagels she said no since I made it clear that I didn’t want her handling any of the food. That didn’t stop my BIL from texting to make sure I had Baileys for them and his favorite beer. I’m so blown away at my sister’s selfishness and total pettiness. I’m trying so hard to ignore it as I don’t want my hard feelings towards my sister to ruin the day for everyone else. I’m just so p*ssed but this vent to strangers has helped. She’s always been obnoxious and selfish but she’s getting worse as she ages. Anyway, thanks for listening. Oh and I agreed to let her bring her dog when I was feeling naive and gracious. That dog better not pee all over my house ( and yes I know it’s my fault for agreeing).

[Anonymous]

Chill out

[Anonymous]

I don't get it. If she had arranged bagels for breakfast why did you make the comment about not making a big breakfast? It sounds like she had it handled without needing the kitchen.

[Anonymous]

She’s a jerk. I agree with you on this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. If she had arranged bagels for breakfast why did you make the comment about not making a big breakfast? It sounds like she had it handled without needing the kitchen.

+1

Sounds like OP pissed her off.

[Anonymous]

She agreed to this. Was this on your request? Demand? And why did you suggest to her that she would be cooking for her boys (but not anyone else?). You're feeling stressed and you needled her a bit. and then she acted like a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. If she had arranged bagels for breakfast why did you make the comment about not making a big breakfast? It sounds like she had it handled without needing the kitchen.

She asked what we were doing for breakfast. I said I would have bagels and cream cheese for everyone. She offered to bring them but then added that her boys would still be hungry and needed more food and she wanted to prepare breakfast for them and I asked her not to since I needed the kitchen space. I told her there is a Starbucks within walking distance if they needed anything else and she got upset at that saying her boys don’t have money for coffee. She was misinterpreting me, the call was getting heated, so we ended it. I just checked in today to see if she was still planning on bringing the bagels and she said no.

[Anonymous]

OP find a way to let it go. Maybe tell your sisters the bagel were a great idea and you would really appreciate it if she still brought them. Tell her are sorry for being snappy. You are just a bit nervous about having it all go well. Everyone will be happier for clearing the air b4 the holiday. Good luck! Nice of you to host everyone. Lots of work but will make many great memories.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't understand why you said anything about a big breakfast preemptively, when she said she would bring bagels and cream cheese.

This is a perfect example of how people blame others entirely for a problem when they are the problem.

OP, chill.

[Anonymous]

Adult men don’t usually eat just a bagel for breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, based on what you described I’d be annoyed with you, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. If she had arranged bagels for breakfast why did you make the comment about not making a big breakfast? It sounds like she had it handled without needing the kitchen.

She asked what we were doing for breakfast. I said I would have bagels and cream cheese for everyone. She offered to bring them but then added that her boys would still be hungry and needed more food and she wanted to prepare breakfast for them and I asked her not to since I needed the kitchen space. I told her there is a Starbucks within walking distance if they needed anything else and she got upset at that saying her boys don’t have money for coffee. She was misinterpreting me, the call was getting heated, so we ended it. I just checked in today to see if she was still planning on bringing the bagels and she said no.

You were in the wrong. It’s entirely possible to whip up some eggs or pancakes or whatever for a couple of boys on Thanksgiving morning without making cooking dinner an impossibility. You sound high maintenance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. If she had arranged bagels for breakfast why did you make the comment about not making a big breakfast? It sounds like she had it handled without needing the kitchen.

She asked what we were doing for breakfast. I said I would have bagels and cream cheese for everyone. She offered to bring them but then added that her boys would still be hungry and needed more food and she wanted to prepare breakfast for them and I asked her not to since I needed the kitchen space. I told her there is a Starbucks within walking distance if they needed anything else and she got upset at that saying her boys don’t have money for coffee. She was misinterpreting me, the call was getting heated, so we ended it. I just checked in today to see if she was still planning on bringing the bagels and she said no.

I get this, OP. But really, I think this is on both of you. Her boys probably need more than bagels. I can't eat just bagels for breakfast because of the high carb content that turns quickly to sugar. And growing boys...??

Do you have a McDonald's nearby for some big breakfasts? Doordash? I get you wanting the kitchen free, but you also have to understand that you can't dictate what others need to eat. Starbucks is expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. If she had arranged bagels for breakfast why did you make the comment about not making a big breakfast? It sounds like she had it handled without needing the kitchen.

She asked what we were doing for breakfast. I said I would have bagels and cream cheese for everyone. She offered to bring them but then added that her boys would still be hungry and needed more food and she wanted to prepare breakfast for them and I asked her not to since I needed the kitchen space. I told her there is a Starbucks within walking distance if they needed anything else and she got upset at that saying her boys don’t have money for coffee. She was misinterpreting me, the call was getting heated, so we ended it. I just checked in today to see if she was still planning on bringing the bagels and she said no.

TF? This is exactly what those egg bake casserole things are for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. If she had arranged bagels for breakfast why did you make the comment about not making a big breakfast? It sounds like she had it handled without needing the kitchen.

+1

Sounds like OP pissed her off.

Sounds like sis was going to bring bagels for everyone but also wanted to cook a big breakfast for her family.