Redshirting a girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold her back. Pretty much anywhere else in the country she wouldn’t be eligible to go. The Ny thing makes no sense - kids going to college at 17

Mine kid will turn 18 a few weeks after starting college. No big deal. Why lose a year of your life being held back?

Omg she would be GAINING a year of life by holding her! Not losing. She gains another year of development — socially, emotionally, academically, physically, in every way — before having to deal with expectations of school. Absolutely give her this GIFT

Don’t forget to remind her of “the gift” when she’s a 19yo senior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold her back. Pretty much anywhere else in the country she wouldn’t be eligible to go. The Ny thing makes no sense - kids going to college at 17

Mine kid will turn 18 a few weeks after starting college. No big deal. Why lose a year of your life being held back?

Omg she would be GAINING a year of life by holding her! Not losing. She gains another year of development — socially, emotionally, academically, physically, in every way — before having to deal with expectations of school. Absolutely give her this GIFT

Don’t forget to remind her of “the gift” when she’s a 19yo senior.

Half the people in this thread seem to not understand OP’s daughter’s age. The cutoff is 12/31 meaning that a Kindergartener has to turn 5 by 12/31 in order to start K that year. This means a November birthday (OP’s daughter) would start K at age 4 and turn 5 in November. If she stays in that grade she will start her senior year as a 16 year old, and then turn 17 in November. She will then start college at age 17. If OP holds her back, she would start senior year as a 17 year old and turn 18 in November.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold her back. Pretty much anywhere else in the country she wouldn’t be eligible to go. The Ny thing makes no sense - kids going to college at 17

Mine kid will turn 18 a few weeks after starting college. No big deal. Why lose a year of your life being held back?

Omg she would be GAINING a year of life by holding her! Not losing. She gains another year of development — socially, emotionally, academically, physically, in every way — before having to deal with expectations of school. Absolutely give her this GIFT

Don’t forget to remind her of “the gift” when she’s a 19yo senior.

Half the people in this thread seem to not understand OP’s daughter’s age. The cutoff is 12/31 meaning that a Kindergartener has to turn 5 by 12/31 in order to start K that year. This means a November birthday (OP’s daughter) would start K at age 4 and turn 5 in November. If she stays in that grade she will start her senior year as a 16 year old, and then turn 17 in November. She will then start college at age 17. If OP holds her back, she would start senior year as a 17 year old and turn 18 in November.

Ignore the PP. This person always finds the redshirting threads and rants about 19 and 20 yr old seniors

[Anonymous]

My sister is an ES teacher and she held her December daughter back. She was also a very small girl.

I would do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold her back. Pretty much anywhere else in the country she wouldn’t be eligible to go. The Ny thing makes no sense - kids going to college at 17

Mine kid will turn 18 a few weeks after starting college. No big deal. Why lose a year of your life being held back?

Omg she would be GAINING a year of life by holding her! Not losing. She gains another year of development — socially, emotionally, academically, physically, in every way — before having to deal with expectations of school. Absolutely give her this GIFT

Don’t forget to remind her of “the gift” when she’s a 19yo senior.

Half the people in this thread seem to not understand OP’s daughter’s age. The cutoff is 12/31 meaning that a Kindergartener has to turn 5 by 12/31 in order to start K that year. This means a November birthday (OP’s daughter) would start K at age 4 and turn 5 in November. If she stays in that grade she will start her senior year as a 16 year old, and then turn 17 in November. She will then start college at age 17. If OP holds her back, she would start senior year as a 17 year old and turn 18 in November.

You seem to forget many of us have fall kids. And, my kid technically started at 4. No big deal. They will turn 18 within a few weeks. Read all the problems people post having an 8 year old all of senior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister is an ES teacher and she held her December daughter back. She was also a very small girl.

I would do it.

What does this have to do with all the tea in china? One person holds back their kid so everyone does and that creates a problem and ages heavily spaced. You aren't making your kid smarter or better by holding them back and they are less mature if they are with all younger kid and the oldest by months. A december kid when the cut off in December is different than a spring or summer birthday as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold her back. Pretty much anywhere else in the country she wouldn’t be eligible to go. The Ny thing makes no sense - kids going to college at 17

Mine kid will turn 18 a few weeks after starting college. No big deal. Why lose a year of your life being held back?

Omg she would be GAINING a year of life by holding her! Not losing. She gains another year of development — socially, emotionally, academically, physically, in every way — before having to deal with expectations of school. Absolutely give her this GIFT

Don’t forget to remind her of “the gift” when she’s a 19yo senior.

Exactly. And, when they are starting college a year older, which delays them graduating for a year and their friends graduate at 22 and they are 23-24. That's not a gift. The gift is to be done with school and move on with your life. The gift is taking that extra $10-50K you spend on an extra year of preschool and pay for graduate school or a downpayment for a house. You cannot gift time. You can gift college, graduate school, money or stuff. Time happens regardless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I truly believe that those saying send her want you and your daughter to fail in order to decrease competition for their own kids. Competition is national these days so this level of nuttiness is still nuts but makes a bit of sense. You’re not getting honest answers. All of us would hold back our own in this scenario.

Yes, millions of kids worth of national competition out there for my kid, so I'm trying to winnow the field one-by-one by posting false opinions on an anonymous message board. It may take me and my kind thousands of hours of effort spread out over year to change just enough minds to make a small dent in our DC's cohorts, but it will be worth it, so so very worth it. You've identified our true motives, PP. This all seems far more plausible than some people just legitimately having different opinions than you.

You’re trying to change the view that redshirting is favorable to create a cultural shift away from it. That’s what I see on these threads. It wouldn’t make people so angry if it weren’t a threat. Of course one person doesn’t make a difference but I feel the goal is to generally make people feel that redshirting is immoral and unfair so fewer will do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold her back. Pretty much anywhere else in the country she wouldn’t be eligible to go. The Ny thing makes no sense - kids going to college at 17

Mine kid will turn 18 a few weeks after starting college. No big deal. Why lose a year of your life being held back?

Omg she would be GAINING a year of life by holding her! Not losing. She gains another year of development — socially, emotionally, academically, physically, in every way — before having to deal with expectations of school. Absolutely give her this GIFT

Don’t forget to remind her of “the gift” when she’s a 19yo senior.

Half the people in this thread seem to not understand OP’s daughter’s age. The cutoff is 12/31 meaning that a Kindergartener has to turn 5 by 12/31 in order to start K that year. This means a November birthday (OP’s daughter) would start K at age 4 and turn 5 in November. If she stays in that grade she will start her senior year as a 16 year old, and then turn 17 in November. She will then start college at age 17. If OP holds her back, she would start senior year as a 17 year old and turn 18 in November.

You seem to forget many of us have fall kids. And, my kid technically started at 4. No big deal. They will turn 18 within a few weeks. Read all the problems people post having an 8 year old all of senior year.

18 years old most of senior year is normal. It's supposed to be that way in the vast majority of states where the cut off is 9/1 or 9/30. Kids will be 18 starting in Sept, Oct, etc. It's normal. The problems exist in your imagination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, all of this redshirting everywhere has gotten out of hand. It’s crazy to me that OP has zero concerns about kindergarten readiness but is considering holding her daughter back since she feels as though sending her on time as one of the youngest may, at some future point, make her have some unknown discomfort or adversity not otherwise specified, and she’d rather put her at an advantage over the other children as the oldest. That is, in my opinion, quite weak-sauce and we’ve lost sight of accommodating true outlier kids who are not ready and are instead accommodating anxious parents trying to game-ify their not-struggling children’s successes over others. The fact that OP even feels like she has an existential decision to make is silly to me. The default should be send on time unless there is a compelling reason not to. I’m not seeing one here.

OP here. It is out of hand, but partially so because there are no uniform dates across the country. I don’t want my child going to college at 17 with kids who have just turned 19 or are about to. There’s a big difference. I also know what’s expected of kids in kindergarten now and I just don’t feel it’s developmentally appropriate for a 4 year old. 2/3 of the kids in her class would be turning 6 by March. I don’t care about putting her at an advantage as much as I don’t want her to be at disadvantage. I never said it’s an existential decision, but this is a parenting forum. If we can talk about what to serve at a birthday party I can certainly ask other parents for their experiences on their daughters being the very youngest vs close to the oldest of their grade.

Fwiw I have a March birthday and was on the older side of my grade. In hindsight many of the girls I knew with late fall birthdays were immature and really could not keep up socially. But I was also fairly tall until middle school and that was a little awkward for me. I’m average build- not a tiny petite person and doubt my daughter will be either, so that is also a consideration, however asinine you may find it.

It is YOUR JOB AS A PARENT to prepare her for this! Are you saying you are not up for the task? or that you are a crap parent who will fail in this regard?

Also, in Europe 4 year olds are expected to read, which is K/1st here, so ‘developmentally appropriate’ is a sliding scale.

It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind, OP. So, why ask on this forum if you are going to get so defensive? Just hold her back and deal with he consequences of doing that. It’s not my kid, so I don’t really care. I didn’t hold mine back - she’s in 8th grade and young - just turned 13. She’s thriving! I’ve always been on top of it with being a sounding board for the social scene and she’s navigated this quite well. Now I’m shifting my focus to being a sounding board for the dating/college scene. My role is support, advice, and guidance - DD calls the shots. So far, I’ve been impressed with her choices. Regardless of their relative age in the class, you have to guide them to make good decisions - it is your job!

Not in Finland (part of Europe...) 7 years is the norm there.
https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2015/10/the-joyful-illiterate-kindergartners-of-finland/408325/?utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=share

Also in Germany kids learn reading later as well. https://www.parentmap.com/article/kindergarten-america-germany

I think OP you can do what you think is best for your daughter - she'll probably be fine either way but I think it is reasonable to think that today's US kindergarten is not developmentally appropriate for a 4 year old and ok to wait until your daughter is five. My daughter has a May birthday so I have no skin in this game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold her back. Pretty much anywhere else in the country she wouldn’t be eligible to go. The Ny thing makes no sense - kids going to college at 17

Mine kid will turn 18 a few weeks after starting college. No big deal. Why lose a year of your life being held back?

Omg she would be GAINING a year of life by holding her! Not losing. She gains another year of development — socially, emotionally, academically, physically, in every way — before having to deal with expectations of school. Absolutely give her this GIFT

Lol. I had this "gift" and was so done and over this "development" I left the country at 16 and didn't look back. I'd be very cautious about holding back a socially mature and academically advanced/on target girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hold her back. Pretty much anywhere else in the country she wouldn’t be eligible to go. The Ny thing makes no sense - kids going to college at 17

It’s pretty recent that most states have September or October cut off dates. Connecticut had a cut off date of January 1st until this year. Massachusetts leaves it up to the individual school districts and most towns also recently changed to September or October.

I think it was an east coast thing to have late cut off dates. No one here over the age of 30 went to college with 17 year olds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold her back. Pretty much anywhere else in the country she wouldn’t be eligible to go. The Ny thing makes no sense - kids going to college at 17

Mine kid will turn 18 a few weeks after starting college. No big deal. Why lose a year of your life being held back?

Omg she would be GAINING a year of life by holding her! Not losing. She gains another year of development — socially, emotionally, academically, physically, in every way — before having to deal with expectations of school. Absolutely give her this GIFT

Lol. I had this "gift" and was so done and over this "development" I left the country at 16 and didn't look back. I'd be very cautious about holding back a socially mature and academically advanced/on target girl.

Agree. If the child is academically advanced it would be the worst idea. The child would be bored to tears with one more year of pre-k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold her back. Pretty much anywhere else in the country she wouldn’t be eligible to go. The Ny thing makes no sense - kids going to college at 17

Mine kid will turn 18 a few weeks after starting college. No big deal. Why lose a year of your life being held back?

Omg she would be GAINING a year of life by holding her! Not losing. She gains another year of development — socially, emotionally, academically, physically, in every way — before having to deal with expectations of school. Absolutely give her this GIFT

Lol. I had this "gift" and was so done and over this "development" I left the country at 16 and didn't look back. I'd be very cautious about holding back a socially mature and academically advanced/on target girl.

Agree. If the child is academically advanced it would be the worst idea. The child would be bored to tears with one more year of pre-k.

It's a lot of time "helping" the teacher by sitting next to the most immature, out of control, behind the curve kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold her back. Pretty much anywhere else in the country she wouldn’t be eligible to go. The Ny thing makes no sense - kids going to college at 17

Mine kid will turn 18 a few weeks after starting college. No big deal. Why lose a year of your life being held back?

Omg she would be GAINING a year of life by holding her! Not losing. She gains another year of development — socially, emotionally, academically, physically, in every way — before having to deal with expectations of school. Absolutely give her this GIFT

Lol. I had this "gift" and was so done and over this "development" I left the country at 16 and didn't look back. I'd be very cautious about holding back a socially mature and academically advanced/on target girl.

Agree. If the child is academically advanced it would be the worst idea. The child would be bored to tears with one more year of pre-k.

It's a lot of time "helping" the teacher by sitting next to the most immature, out of control, behind the curve kids.

Too bad the parents of those kids weren't encouraged to redshirt. Seems like people should be more grateful for the people who make the decision to wait a year. Helps everyone even the super bright gifted 4 year old girls.