Why has silence become an acceptable response to invitations, questions, etc.?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP you sound exhausting and like you have alot of time on your hands. Perhaps you don't work?

PP, you sound obnoxious and like not a lot of people invite you to do things? Perhaps you don't have anything to talk about other than your (boring-to-the-rest-of-us) work?

My social calendar stays full, I receive more invites than I ever have time to attend. I'm blessed to have many other interests besides my job (that I do enjoy), and my friends and loved ones spend hours speaking with me every week.

I'm sad for you that you don't get to enjoy this same experience. I honestly think that maybe the people you're reaching out to can sense your inauthenticity, hence why they don't respond. Instead of casting such wide nets to everyone in your social circles all the time, maybe try to focus on connecting with and building deeper relationships with those whose company you truly enjoy (mutual) and who you truly want to get to know better. Those few will be more likely to respond when you reach out, as your connection grows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So annoying. I also hate when I ask a question an iPhone users just "like" it. Like wtf that is not a response!

That's a thumbs-up to us.

But what the heck does a thumbs up mean if it is not a yes or no question?

[Anonymous]

My social calendar stays full, I receive more invites than I ever have time to attend. I'm blessed to have many other interests besides my job (that I do enjoy), and my friends and loved ones spend hours speaking with me every week.

I'm sad for you that you don't get to enjoy this same experience. I honestly think that maybe the people you're reaching out to can sense your inauthenticity, hence why they don't respond. Instead of casting such wide nets to everyone in your social circles all the time, maybe try to focus on connecting with and building deeper relationships with those whose company you truly enjoy (mutual) and who you truly want to get to know better. Those few will be more likely to respond when you reach out, as your connection grows.

Are your "friends" as smug and condescending as you? You sound insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you shat in their powder room OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are these all texts? I get a lot of texts, and they quickly disappear down the list after being read.
You could do two things:
1. Word everything so that it's clear that silence will be a no. "I have a ticket for Event and would love for you to join me! LMK by Thurs so I can offer it to someone else if you're busy."
2. Do the above, but with an email. I know email is unfashionable but it has better tools for flagging messages.

+100

[Anonymous]

Emails are even easier to ignore than annoying texts. No one emails invites to friends anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My social calendar stays full, I receive more invites than I ever have time to attend. I'm blessed to have many other interests besides my job (that I do enjoy), and my friends and loved ones spend hours speaking with me every week.

I'm sad for you that you don't get to enjoy this same experience. I honestly think that maybe the people you're reaching out to can sense your inauthenticity, hence why they don't respond. Instead of casting such wide nets to everyone in your social circles all the time, maybe try to focus on connecting with and building deeper relationships with those whose company you truly enjoy (mutual) and who you truly want to get to know better. Those few will be more likely to respond when you reach out, as your connection grows.

Are your "friends" as smug and condescending as you? You sound insufferable.

Call it what you want OP. At least I'm not on a message board getting defensive with complete strangers and wondering why the people in my life ignore my communications and offers to spend time with them.

I gave you some sincere nuggets of valuable advice. Take what you want and leave the rest. Or not. I could care less either way.

[Anonymous]

We host a family event annually and ask for RSVPs. Majority do not respond but show up anyway or rsvp “maybe.”

I’ve culled my invitation list accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one owes you a response. That's a very entitled way of thinking. The silence is a no or what a rude question or why are you asking me this for the 5th time. Silence says volumes but you're not listening

Not responding is extremely rude. If you want to ignore invitations, I suppose you can, but it doesn't make the asker entitled. It just makes you rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t not respond on purpose but 95% of the time I get an invitation, it’s because I was randomly scrolling my phone when I should have been doing something else (like work). In order to respond, I need to check my calendar, check with my husband on his plans, figure out a babysitter if necessary etc. I forget to do all that because I have to go back to doing what I should have been doing in the first place (like work) and then I’ll remember the invite in the shower 2 weeks later. Charge it to my head and not my heart, as my mother says.

So then why don't you set aside time to go back to things like this? I'm sure you find a way to go back and calendar things that you consider truly important.

[Anonymous]

OP you are so defensive and it's off-putting. I bet you've snapped at these people you're begging like this too, which is why you now get radio silence when you reach out to them.

You're not entitled to anything from anyone, and you need to stop acting like you are. Get some therapy to address that.

Just leave them alone and find new friends. Start over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not acceptable. People just have really poor manners. It wasn’t engrained in them how to behave. And there is no longer much shame for being poorly mannered like there once was.

This. I wish there was more shame. Shame shame shame on their people. Op if the neighbor comes back and says oh I can go say sorry, I didn’t hear back from you so I gave the ticket to someone else.

[Anonymous]

No response usually means no.
You need to work on your social understanding of situations, OP.

Also, beware of texts! Sometimes texts just disappear, or are pushed so far down that they get missed. If it's important, you need to follow-up with an email or call, or a text when you're sure they're paying attention (as in, you guys are already in a texting conversation).

[Anonymous]

This has happened to me and recently. It’s no big deal, OP. When I get no response, I get the message. Those folks fall off the list and don’t get back on.

Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just in the last week or so . . . .

Asked a friend if her daughter would ever be interested in babysitting, because I need to add to my roster. No response. Which could mean no. Or it could mean any number of things that I can only guess because absent a “no” nothing is clear.

Asked some neighbors if they wanted to attend something (I have an extra ticket), and specifically asked for a response one way or the other because the event is soon. The first response was a generic emoji that didn’t actually answer. I followed up two days later and I got a “checking “ response. Several days later, still no answer so I found someone else. Still never heard back from my neighbor - for all I know they plan to attend and I’ll get a text from them the day of asking about it!

Sent a message to my book club asking if anyone wanted to join me doing something. Got one yes, great. Got another response from someone who was busy but otherwise interested. Also great - at least have an understanding about this person. Zero response from everyone else. So again, I’m left to guess. Did they just not like the activity? Interested but busy? Who knows.

WTF? No wonder there are so many people who feel lonely, isolated , disassociated, etc. No one can bother to put in bare minimum effort to communicate. And so many people think that it’s okay to just forget to respond. No, it’s not, it’s rude. To leave it to someone else to have to follow up or wonder what you’re thinking, when all you need to do is spend 5 seconds typing “no thank you “ or “no, I’m not interested “ is not okay! It’s one thing thing to get busy and be delayed in responding. Or to use silence as a response with someone who can’t accept boundaries or take “no” as an answer. But why is it socially acceptable to drop the ball in all manner of communication?

I was recently in the third situation as a recipient. Person texted a group asking if anyone could join. I didn't respond with "no" because I don't like spamming people on a text chain. I hope the sender didn't think it rude that I didn't answer.