Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the record:
-- the gain I'm talking about increased her weight by 20-25% from her old normal
-- this is not baby weight. The last baby was 9 yars ago. The weight gaining has been only in the past couple years
-- I keep myself trim

LOL. You ain't seen nothing yet, she's just getting started buddy. My wife weighed 140 before getting pregnant 15+ years ago with out one kid. 165 was her post-baby weight. Then it was 180 after going back to work full time when kid was six. Now post-pandemic it's somewhere north of 200, I won't even guess.

As she says "I love to eat." She thinks she eats healthy but just eats too much healthy food. Though I'm not sure a large bag of chips with salsa is a healthy meal.

I will confess I am not perfect and have myself gained a net of 10 pounds during that time frame.

Telling her she needs to lose weight won't go over well. Trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With your BMI over 20, you are also overweight. Stop feeling so smug about yourself.

Wrong.

If your BMI is 18.5 to <25, it falls within the healthy weight range. If your BMI is 25.0 to <30, it falls within the overweight range. If your BMI is 30.0 or higher, it falls within the obesity range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the record:
-- the gain I'm talking about increased her weight by 20-25% from her old normal
-- this is not baby weight. The last baby was 9 yars ago. The weight gaining has been only in the past couple years
-- I keep myself trim

LOL. You ain't seen nothing yet, she's just getting started buddy. My wife weighed 140 before getting pregnant 15+ years ago with out one kid. 165 was her post-baby weight. Then it was 180 after going back to work full time when kid was six. Now post-pandemic it's somewhere north of 200, I won't even guess.

As she says "I love to eat." She thinks she eats healthy but just eats too much healthy food. Though I'm not sure a large bag of chips with salsa is a healthy meal.

I will confess I am not perfect and have myself gained a net of 10 pounds during that time frame.

Telling her she needs to lose weight won't go over well. Trust me.

If you care that much why don’t you get a better job so she can quit hers and focus on working out, cooking healthy meals, reducing stress, etc so she can lose weight and you will find her sexually appealing? Genuine question - if you really care that much, man up and make more money so she can stop working.

(Obviously I find your post ridiculous and so is mine but one ridiculous post deserves another. And my idea might actually solve your “problem.”)

[Anonymous]

My response to my H when he said that to me was "it's hard to be motivated to lose weight for you when you look 4 months pregnant".

He spent the next 6 months trying to get 6 pack abs, failed now we live happily ever after.

I was 140, now I'm 180 20 years after my last baby and I think I look great. Do I have a normal belly, yes.

I don't GAF if my BMI is 15 lbs overweight.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are correct. However, nobody actually looks thin with a bmi over 20. My own bmi is 20.6 and I look better when it’s around 19.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With your BMI over 20, you are also overweight. Stop feeling so smug about yourself.

Wrong.

If your BMI is 18.5 to <25, it falls within the healthy weight range. If your BMI is 25.0 to <30, it falls within the overweight range. If your BMI is 30.0 or higher, it falls within the obesity range.

[Anonymous]

OP is a troll ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the record:
-- the gain I'm talking about increased her weight by 20-25% from her old normal
-- this is not baby weight. The last baby was 9 yars ago. The weight gaining has been only in the past couple years
-- I keep myself trim

LOL. You ain't seen nothing yet, she's just getting started buddy. My wife weighed 140 before getting pregnant 15+ years ago with out one kid. 165 was her post-baby weight. Then it was 180 after going back to work full time when kid was six. Now post-pandemic it's somewhere north of 200, I won't even guess.

As she says "I love to eat." She thinks she eats healthy but just eats too much healthy food. Though I'm not sure a large bag of chips with salsa is a healthy meal.

I will confess I am not perfect and have myself gained a net of 10 pounds during that time frame.

Telling her she needs to lose weight won't go over well. Trust me.

If you care that much why don’t you get a better job so she can quit hers and focus on working out, cooking healthy meals, reducing stress, etc so she can lose weight and you will find her sexually appealing? Genuine question - if you really care that much, man up and make more money so she can stop working.

(Obviously I find your post ridiculous and so is mine but one ridiculous post deserves another. And my idea might actually solve your “problem.”)

She enjoys her job. Why would she want to give up something that brings her satisfaction? And it's not impossible to do all those things you mention AND have a job. Many of us do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a woman w
It’s a
BMI pushing 26, if you did this to me my sexual desire for you would plummet because I would not want you to see me naked.

It’s important that women feel you find them attractive if you want her to want to have sex with you

OP if your actual goal is better sex, this is not the path. If your goal is a skinny wife you can brag about or your friends can be jealous of, this might work, but seriously read and then re-read the bolded because this is the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is a troll ...

Who desperately needs to gain some muscle.

[Anonymous]

The obvious answer is the next time she mentions she needs to lose weight (since you said she knows) tell her you’ve been wanting to eat healthier too and volunteer to make changes like taking over shopping and meal planning and carving out time together in your schedules to exercise.

You wait for her to ask for help and then you provide it. Considering how slender you are, you are probably naturally a thinner person (not saying you aren’t healthy but it’s likely food is not a problem for you). If it’s really important to you, you will do as much work as she does to help her achieve your goal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the record:
-- the gain I'm talking about increased her weight by 20-25% from her old normal
-- this is not baby weight. The last baby was 9 yars ago. The weight gaining has been only in the past couple years
-- I keep myself trim

LOL. You ain't seen nothing yet, she's just getting started buddy. My wife weighed 140 before getting pregnant 15+ years ago with out one kid. 165 was her post-baby weight. Then it was 180 after going back to work full time when kid was six. Now post-pandemic it's somewhere north of 200, I won't even guess.

As she says "I love to eat." She thinks she eats healthy but just eats too much healthy food. Though I'm not sure a large bag of chips with salsa is a healthy meal.

I will confess I am not perfect and have myself gained a net of 10 pounds during that time frame.

Telling her she needs to lose weight won't go over well. Trust me.

If you care that much why don’t you get a better job so she can quit hers and focus on working out, cooking healthy meals, reducing stress, etc so she can lose weight and you will find her sexually appealing? Genuine question - if you really care that much, man up and make more money so she can stop working.

(Obviously I find your post ridiculous and so is mine but one ridiculous post deserves another. And my idea might actually solve your “problem.”)

She enjoys her job. Why would she want to give up something that brings her satisfaction? And it's not impossible to do all those things you mention AND have a job. Many of us do it.

I don’t want her to do that. But for a lot of people there are only so many hours in a day and so much energy and something’s gotta give. Obviously she is not one of those people who can “do it all.” You can be bitter about it, which you clearly are from your first post, or you can accept it, or you can make it easier for her to pursue your #1 goal by getting her to quit her (apparently satisfying) job to focus instead on her body for your own personal gratification. Those are the actual choices here in reality - you think her keeping her job and losing 60 lbs and keeping it off as she ages is an actual possibility but that’s not realistically one of your options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the record:
-- the gain I'm talking about increased her weight by 20-25% from her old normal
-- this is not baby weight. The last baby was 9 yars ago. The weight gaining has been only in the past couple years
-- I keep myself trim

LOL. You ain't seen nothing yet, she's just getting started buddy. My wife weighed 140 before getting pregnant 15+ years ago with out one kid. 165 was her post-baby weight. Then it was 180 after going back to work full time when kid was six. Now post-pandemic it's somewhere north of 200, I won't even guess.

As she says "I love to eat." She thinks she eats healthy but just eats too much healthy food. Though I'm not sure a large bag of chips with salsa is a healthy meal.

I will confess I am not perfect and have myself gained a net of 10 pounds during that time frame.

Telling her she needs to lose weight won't go over well. Trust me.

If you care that much why don’t you get a better job so she can quit hers and focus on working out, cooking healthy meals, reducing stress, etc so she can lose weight and you will find her sexually appealing? Genuine question - if you really care that much, man up and make more money so she can stop working.

(Obviously I find your post ridiculous and so is mine but one ridiculous post deserves another. And my idea might actually solve your “problem.”)

She enjoys her job. Why would she want to give up something that brings her satisfaction? And it's not impossible to do all those things you mention AND have a job. Many of us do it.

I don’t want her to do that. But for a lot of people there are only so many hours in a day and so much energy and something’s gotta give. Obviously she is not one of those people who can “do it all.” You can be bitter about it, which you clearly are from your first post, or you can accept it, or you can make it easier for her to pursue your #1 goal by getting her to quit her (apparently satisfying) job to focus instead on her body for your own personal gratification. Those are the actual choices here in reality - you think her keeping her job and losing 60 lbs and keeping it off as she ages is an actual possibility but that’s not realistically one of your options.

She wouldn't lose the weight if she quit her job. It doesn't matter that I'd like her to lose the weight. She doesn't want to lose the weight. I'd rather her be fat and happy in her job than fat and unemployed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people keep talking about time to exercise. That has basically nothing to do with weight loss. In fact, exercise is usually counterproductive for weight loss. To lose weight, you have to reduce your calorie intake, which means eating less, which usually requires developing better eating habits. That doesn't really take extra time out of your day. Might even take less since you're eating less.

So, how much weight have you lost, and successfully kept off, by only eating less? We'll wait. And don't fudge the "kept it off" part. Tell us your age and genetic details too, PP. What, you won't? So you don't comprehend that age, activity level, genetic background, hormones and more than just "eat less" all affect weight loss.

I'm not the PP you're raging at, but exercise is a very small part of weight loss. It has a lot of health benefits of course. No, I've never lost a significant amount of weight because I've never gained a significant amount (outside of pregnancy, maybe that counts?)

https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/does-exercise-help-you-lose-weight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let's see ...

I did not post about this previously

My BMI is 21.

Other than around pregnancy, hers was always around 23-24, but it incrased in the past couple years to 27-28. that's official overweight.

To the people who said things like "it's her body", get a grip. I didn't say I was going to try to force her to lose weight, and I'm not trying to "control" her body, just that I would tell her that's what I would like.

To the people who think looks don't matter, stop projecting, or examine your own preferences more closely. They matter to many people. Maybe not weight to everyone, maybe other aspects of appearance to some people. But they matter. And I don't see anything wrong with that. I try to stay attractive to her, and I want her to try for me.

Yes, she knows she's gained weight. Of course she knows. But she's not trying to lose it. If I tell her I would like her to, maybe that would help motivate her.

Do I have a plan? Sure, I have ideas, but I doubt she'd listen to me. Again, I'm mainly hoping this could motivate her.

I've never said this sort of thing to her before. Never needed to. After the pregnancies, she lost the weight. And beyond that, she generally maintained it.

I don't think time is a barrier. She has enough time to lose weight.

If she's actively working on it and progressing, okay. I wouldn't encourage a fast weight loss anyway; that would lead her to put it right back on.

I don't have droopy balls, but that would be out of my control, just like her wrinkles are out of her control and I would not say anything aobut that. But weight is controllable.

The best thing to do is to wait for her to complain that she doesn’t like how she looks or feels in a certain outfit, and then tell her “you always look great to me, but if you want to get back to your previous weight, you would look and feel better, it’s true. I believe in you and support you! We can be healthy together” etc etc

[Anonymous]

In my case she knows and I never bring it up because she brings it up. The challenge for me is what to say when she complains about the weight she's gained. About all I can do is demonstrate that I am still attracted to her (which I am, fortunately).